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~ Day Dreams ~
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~ Chapter Thirty ~
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~ Bitter Sweetness ~
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~ Nineteen-Years-Old ~
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~ Jake's POV ~
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After a busy afternoon at the beach, work finally ends and I pack my gear into the beach shed. Meanwhile, I grab my bag from within the staff's locker. I lock the beach shed's door behind me and head towards my banged-up Jeep as my phone buzzes in my sports bag. I adjust the strap of the bag and unzip it, grabbing my phone and glancing at the screen. The beaming of the sun makes it hard to view the message, so I jump into the Jeep and throw my bag onto the passenger's seat.
Glancing at my phone again to see the message from Chanel.

Nell: I'm at the beach. Where r u?

Jake: Just finished work. I'm tired but I need to go study and train. I lie.

Nell: Fine, whatever. I'll just go hang out with the boys and Wes then.

Jake: Ok. Is Chanel trying to make me jealous?

Nell: Why aren't u mad?

Jake: Why should I? I trust the boys. I lie again.

Nell: Whatever.

I shut my phone off and throw it into my bag and grab my white hoodie from within the bag, tossing it over my head as I breathe a heavy sigh. Why is Chanel like this? She was never like this last year in college. It must be just this year because Summer came into the picture. Chanel is jealous of Summer. I am just training Summer to swim that is all. It is only a job and nothing else... But why did I not tell Chanel I am training Summer today?

After arriving at campus, I drop my sports bag within the walls of the dorm room. I enter through the doors of the library to study when suddenly, a bang can be heard from the other side of the door. I enter the library and investigate the bang and notice Summer in front of me with a slight red tinge on her forehead.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry—" Summer rubs her forehead, standing in front of me as she gulps staring up at me.

"Summer, hey..." I rub the back of my neck and smile down at Summer as her eyes never leave mine.

"How's your head?" I bend forward scanning Summer for any more injuries, as my breath fans Summer's now scarlet face.

"Uh... yeah, I'm fine," Summer says in a daze.

"It seems when you're around me you hit your head," I said, leading Summer towards a table in the library and sitting her onto a nearby chair.

"It does seem that way, but it was my fault again," Summer said, staring at the palms of her hands.

"No way, just bad timing," I said laughing to myself. Why am I laughing? Cut it out, Jake! You're embarrassing yourself. Summer has a spell over you and you cannot control yourself because of how beautiful she is. You're starting to lose it, Jake!

"I hope you are still up for swim practice this afternoon? You're really improving on your skills," I ask with a smile.

"I think I'll be okay, but food will help the ache," Summer said nonchalantly as she glances away and avoids eye contact.

"Okay, great," I smile again, breaking eye contact and rubbing my neck. "I'll see you soon." Why can I not stop smiling when I am around Summer? All I can do is smile when she is within close proximity. But Summer's smile is a Summer breeze on a windy beach.

"Okay, see you," Summer said standing from the chair, then descending towards the exit of the library.

As for myself, I walk further into the library and study as much as I can for my assignment for Sports Education. As for the study session, my mind only thinks of Summer and how being close to her causes strange feelings in my chest.

I mentally tell myself and continue to remind myself once back inside the dorm room, and the swimming arena. I chant the same five words over and over again in my head. It is only a job, It is only a job, It is only a job.

*    *    *

"Hey, let's start where we left off from last practice," I said setting aside the cleaning pole and walking towards the pool's indoor shed. "Let's see how you go without floats this time."

"Umm... Yeah, sure..." Summer said, unsure of herself as she strides aimlessly towards my direction but halts midway.

I disappear behind the shed doors and reappear with the swimming equipment that was used the last lesson. Summer almost drowned on my watch on the first lesson and could happen at any moment. I cannot let Summer drown on my watch again... I shut the doors behind me and drop the equipment on the metal of the bench and gaze towards Summer.

"Umm... I don't think I'm ready to swim backward yet," Summer's voice quivers.

"Oh God no, I wouldn't allow you to go backward but don't worry, this lesson we will run through some swiming techniques," I said my back facing Summer and with one stride of my arm, I lift my jumper over my shoulders as I feel Summer's stares pinned to my bare olive back.

A strange odd feeling cascades over me. What if Summer has the same feelings as I do? What feelings do I have? I do not even know myself... Jake, snap out of it! You cannot have feelings for her. You have a girlfriend. Get your head out of the gutter!

I snap back to reality and come to my logical senses and shake my uneasy thoughts astray. My legs spin to face Summer but her stares linger on the clothes draping within her arms. Why is she nervous? Do I make her nervous? Summer has not moved an inch since she bursted through the double doors. She lifts her eyes as they land on my bare chest, her cheeks flame up with engulfing flames and she tears her eyes away again from embarrassment.

"Umm... what kind of techniques?" Summer said with curiosity and walks towards the metal of the bench as her shoulder brushes past my arm.

An odd feeling filters through my arm as a warm feeling arises throughout the skin. I rub the back of my neck and face Summer as a grin plays on my lips. With sudden energy, I grab two kickboards and jump into the middle-end of the water, causing droplets of water to cascade around me.

After I comb through my golden locks of damp hair with my fingers, removing the hair out of my eyes I glance towards Summer. In disbelief, Summer drops the pile of clothing she is holding and rests the bunch of clothes onto the bench, and kicks her shoes off in slow motion. This reveals her half, bare body as she crosses her arms across her flat stomach.

Come on, Jake, do not act so weird and stop showing off. Why am I showing off? Am I really showing off? I do not think I am? This is how I act around my mates. Summer is just a friend.

"So, uh... Do I have to jump too?" Summer questions with a shy smile as she wraps her arms around her fragile body, creeping towards the side of the pool.

"No, just take your time. I'm in the water again today so I can help keep a closer eye on you so you do not manage to hit your head again."

"Oh... that makes a lot of sense," Summer said, guiding herself into the shallow water, holding onto the edge of the metal pool ladder.

"So, I want you to take this kickboard and remember to hold it close to your chest if you're not moving." I hand the kickboard towards Summer as she takes the board and holds it to her chest. Do not stare, Jake! "Okay good, but this time I want you to spread your arms straight out in front of you and tuck your fingers over the front and under the edge like this," I demonstrate, showing Summer in the water as I distance myself towards the other end of the pool. "Then I want you to lean forward and kick off at the wall and swim towards me."

Summer nods her head, taking in all the information, then she spreads her arms out in front of her, leaning forward and drawing in a deep breath. Her soft horizontal kicks allows her to glide through the shallow water and when it is time to kick again she lets go of the kickboard and begins to sink. I rush towards her and grab her before she sinks to the bottom. My heartbeat quickens being at a close radius to Summer. Why am I so nervous? Just shake it off, Jake.

"You're supposed to kick your legs once you kicked off at the wall," I explain with a smirk, guiding Summer towards the side of the pool.

"Sorry, I froze up," Summer stares off into the distance, her small hands on the edge of the pool.

"Don't stress, if you want we can try it again?" I suggest, handing Summer the kickboard as she holds it with one hand and I distance myself in the shallow end of the pool.

"Uh... okay, I'll try," Summer says unsure of herself. She lets go of the side of the pool holding the kickboard out in front of her, she kicks off the wall and treads through the water. With her eyes shut and with little force, she kicks her tiny legs towards me as she bumps into me without sinking.

"You did it!" I smile, "See, you just have to believe in yourself."

"Thank you, I couldn't have done it without you," Summer smiles to herself in disbelief.

"Not a problem. Now try it again but this time without kicking off the wall," I said walking backward in the water.

"Uh... okay," Summer gets into position with her arms out in front of her and begins kicking her legs and swimming her way towards me.

Before Summer reaches me I step back and I continue until my back hits the edge of the pool. With nowhere else to go, Summer bumps into me and jumps to her feet, her eyes filling with joy. In the process, she whacks me in the face, which did not hurt, but as soon as it happened she flinches and her eyes change from excitement to sympathy.

Summer gasps and covers her mouth, "Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I feel terrible..." Summer's voice trails off as she touches my cheek with her soft hand, gazing into my eyes.

"It's..." Sweat droplets form from my forehead causing panic throughout my body. Summer is so close. "...It's fine, really," Cheeks burn due to the closeness of Summer's hand on my cheek and her strawberry breath lurking around me.

Glancing into Summer's sea-green eyes and I cannot seem to tear my eyes away from hers even if I could I would not dare. There is something about her that draws me in. Some strange source of power pulls me towards Summer's face as we stare into each other's eyes. What is this girl doing to me? What is this black magic she has over me?

Summer drops her hand as her face lights up with horror and steps back from me. "I uh... have to go," Summer said backing away from me. She splashes in the water as she struggles to stay afloat, grabbing ahold of the edge of the pool. "I'm sorry, but have a good Summer break," she frantically climbs the ladder of the pool, her legs pounding as quick as they could muster towards her belongings as she grabs her clothes and runs off.

What distraction have I caused? I have just ruined everything. Why am I so stupid? When she touched my cheek, she caused a wildfire to spread throughout my body. Why does she make me feel this way? I messed up bad, and I almost kissed Summer. Have I forgotten about my morals?

Once Summer left in a rush I begin swimming laps down the pool's lane, shallow end to deep end. As soon as I start swimming strokes I feel at ease instantly. Every stroke and every breath I draw in gets easier but every second and every thought is of her — Summer. She is driving me crazy with how much I am thinking about her. But I do not know her all that well but I feel like I do like she is an old soul. Or someone I used to know in another life, perhaps. I cannot explain it but I know I need to snap out of it.

I gather the kickboards and leap out of the pool as I sling the beach towel over my shoulders. I return the swimming equipment to its rightful place and grab my bag, leaving the arena. I aimlessly guide my legs through the halls of the college with my head down, feeling sorry for myself, and walk through the dorm's doorframe.

"Yo dude, I wasn't a coward and I asked Brooklyn out," Ash says with a wide grin, as I shut the door behind me.

"What did she say?" I awkwardly asked as I was not active in the conversation.

"Maybe," Ash gapes off into his own world of imagination then taking notice of my vague reply. "You okay, dude? You seem a little distracted."

"Me, nah... I'm fine. Thanks but this is your moment," I said taking a seat on my single bed.

"I appreciate that, but I know how you act when you are 'off', even though it's rare for you," Ash said as he took a seat on the single bed on the other side of the room.

"I have no idea, anymore," I breathe a steady breath, "I'm an idiot and I ruined everything."

"Woah, slow down. What happened?"

"I almost kissed Summer and I feel horrible because I almost betrayed Chanel and that's not me," I rest my elbows on my knees and my hands on my jawline. "But this girl... "I trail off, "She's different, Ash, and there's this familiarity about her that I can't quite explain."

"Dude, it sounds like you love this girl but you barely know her," Ash said with a smile, "But if you love her then I'm happy for you."

"But that's the crazy part, I've only known her for a short while. But she actually listens and it is not always about her, you know," I explain with my hands.

"Yeah, Chanel does make it a lot about herself. I think you need to tell Chanel how you feel."

"Ha... you make it sound so easy. This is Chanel we are talking about," I said lifting my head from my hands, "Chanel will go straight to my mother and she will give a big fat life lesson on how Chanel and I are perfect for each other and we are going to have a perfect life, a perfect marriage, and perfect children."

"I think you need to confront your mother first and I'm sure she'll come around," Ash explains nodding his head.

"You met my mother, man. Her stubbornness and overbearing personality always win and I cannot compete against her or complain, otherwise she plays the 'I'm a single mother' card," I said emphasizing the phrase in a sing-song voice.

"I think it's time to have a heart-to-heart conversation with your mother and tell her that you need space and your own freedom," Ash says matter-of-factly.

This whole mess is my fault. I do not know if I can talk to my mother. She would hate me for the rest of my life. When within my mother's proximity, I have no freedom of speech and I am pushed around to the point where she guilt-trips and blackmails me. If I never face my fears I will always be afraid of my mother... No longer will I take crap from my mother! This is my life. And things are going to change, starting from now!

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~ Cheers ~
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Please, tell me in the comments what you thought about Chapter Thirty? 🙈 I'll be greatly appreciated, thank you, you very kind soul!
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~ Chapter Thirty ~
~ Dedications ~
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HeliiBoh
DebMorey
PeterPetruzzella
CaitlinWoodward9
DaniJones_14
ChloeMayerhofer
savvvy1998
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You guys should totally check out PeterPetruzzella short story! Lighthouse. It's amazing!
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You guys should totally check out ChloeMayerhofer story! Fallen! It's awesome!
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C.Morey 🥕 xoxo
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