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~ Day Dreams ~
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~ Chapter Four ~
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~ Broken Promises ~
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~ July-Thirteenth ~
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~ Ten-Years-Old ~
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~ Hazel's POV ~
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   ~ Authors Note ~ 
{{Trigger Warnings}}
{{Child Abuse}}
{{Neglect}}
{{Mental Illness}}
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Jake and his mother argued while continuing to stare at each other like hawks ready to devour their prey. I did not want to be the cause of their argument; I was already a burden, after all.

I unbuckled my seatbelt, plotting my silent escape. I opened the door quickly, slamming it shut so that Jake and his mother would notice my absence. Once my naked feet had touched the rough ground, a lamp post to my right illuminated the path ahead, leading the way through the chilly night air.

I'm sorry, Jake. Please forgive me. How I wished that Jake and I could simply run away and never return; relocate to somewhere like Neverland and be happy without any adults to control us.

As I came up the driveway and walked up to the screen door, noticing Fiona and my father inside and glaring at them through the torn mesh of the screen door.

I hated my parents with a passion. Why was life so unfair, why did everything always have to go wrong?

My feet dragged as I walked through the screen door and into the unwelcoming house, past Fiona and my father. I lowered my head toward my chest, salty liquid threatening to escape from my gloomy eyes. My thoughts veered toward Jake, my eyes following the thought and glancing in the direction of his house.

I walked through the house, avoiding glancing in the direction of Fiona or my father to avoid them noticing my emotional state. I thought I had experienced enough humiliation today without adding that on top.

My conscience was heavy and I felt as though my mind was only moments away from its breaking point.

Hearing the sudden screech of Mrs. Rivers' car departing, I walked over to the window, watching the car scream down the street, past the lampposts illuminating the deserted road.

I will see Jake at school tomorrow; we will have our ice creams and everything will be okay... right?

I took a deep breath, the smell of cigarettes, rats and mold clear in the air. My family never bothered to take care of the house, forcing that particular burden onto me instead.

"Hurry up and come here now, kid. I want you to clean this damn mess up," Fiona yelled to me from the living room. I walked out, noticing the filthy ashtray on the table alongside the cigarette wedged between her sausage-like fingers.

"I'm really tired, I'm sorry. Can I please go to bed and clean it up tomorrow?" I asked gently.

Fiona raised her free hand, landing a hard blow to the side of my cheek, the force of which caused my body to fall onto the floorboards. My surroundings began to seem hazy, the room beginning to spin as a headache began to form along my temples.

"AHH! Please sto—" I began to scream before Fiona covered my face with one dirty hand, muffling my screams.

"All orphan children are the same—trash! That's right kid, you're trash, and you deserve no better than this!" Fiona yelled, bringing shame to my very existence.

"It's all your fault, Hazel! You caused her to die!" my father screamed suddenly, gripping my shoulders with a force that caused them to throb. I smelled the alcohol on his breath as he continued, "How could you? How could you do this to me? You ruined my life, Hazel!"

I struggled to find the strength to respond. "Stop, Dad! You're hurting me! I don't deserve this, I did nothing wrong, especially on my birthday!" I whimpered, trying to sound as though I believed the words I was saying.

"Nothing wrong, you say?" my father scoffed. "Last time I checked, every birthday you have is just another reminder of how much I despise you! How you were the one that killed your own damn mother!" he spat, his speech beginning to slur. He landed a hard blow across my other cheek, causing me to yell as my knees hit the dirty floor.

I swallowed the fear in my throat and rose to my feet, standing my ground. I sniffed as tears threatened to escape my eyes and rolled down my swollen cheeks.

"It wasn't my fault! I swear, I didn't mean to hurt Mommy!" I yelled back.

"Stop with the lies, Hazel! It's pathetic! You're pathetic; learn to grow up and take responsibility for your actions!" Fiona cried, pushing me backward and causing my head to hit the wall behind me. "Don't you dare think about speaking up again, or you'll regret it! Next time I ask you to do something, you do it! Do I make myself clear?"

Both Fiona and my father were staring down at me, disgust clear in their eyes despite the smiles on their faces.

What was amusing about this? Was mentally and physically abusing me entertaining to them? This is what drugs do to you, kids! Note to self: don't be an idiot!

I found the courage to stand, tears stinging in my eyes. I quickly walked toward the end of the narrow hallway, entering the tiny storage room that was where I slept, slamming the door shut.

"Get back here this instant! Did I say you could leave, huh?" Fiona yelled through the door as her voice traveled through the paper-thin walls. "We let you live here out of the kindness of our hearts, and this is how you repay us!"

Fiona was trying to open the door, the knob rattling furiously, but I didn't care. I glanced around the room, which was gloomy from wall to wall. A street light shone through the broken window, illuminating the contents of the room which consisted of an unmade cot in the corner and a cupboard filled with clothes that even a homeless person would avoid. It was not much, but it was all I had.

I removed the wet clothes that were stuck to my body, revealing my cold, bare skin. A light breeze traveled through the cracked window, causing me to shiver as I slipped into my torn nightdress.

I sat on the bed, uncomfortable as I stared into nothingness. An overwhelming slew of thoughts entered my mind for what felt like hours, leaving what felt like a permanent mark on my heart.

I wanted to make sure that Jake was okay, but Fiona had broken my walkie-talkie, which was our only form of communication aside from school, our beach hangouts and the times I went over to Jake's house, which I guess was off limits for a while.

I heard a sudden knock on the door and within seconds, I heard Fiona's voice saying Jake was at the front door. I ran over to my bedroom door and twisted the handle, but it wouldn't budge.

"Ha!" Fiona's laugh traveled down the hall. "Did you really think I'd let you off that easily? Not a chance!" she laughed.

I backed away from the door, my heart sinking into my stomach as I fell into my bed, my sobs muffled by the old pillow.

Out of nowhere, a quiet tap landed on the chipped window; I sat up with tired eyes, wiping the tears from my plump cheeks.

I hopped off the bed, rushing toward the tapping sound. I saw Jake standing outside the window; after blinking a few times to make sure I wasn't dreaming, I rubbed the puffiness from my eyes as they adjusted.

There was only thin glass separating us; looking behind Jake's damp, reddened face, I noticed his mother was parked on the curb. I looked into Jake's eyes, my confusion plastered on my face.

My happiness faded as quickly as it had appeared, and I stoof breathless, my mind racing through the worst possible scenarios and playing them out in my head, over and over again. I was not prepared for the words that came from Jake Rivers' mouth.

"Hazel, please promise me that you'll never forget me?" Jake asked, holding out his pinky finger against the glass; he appeared to be holding back tears, though the streaks on his face indicated he had lost that battle long ago.

Jake had only ever called me Hazel when he was being serious, which wasn't very often; this was by far the most distressed I had ever seen him, so something must be eating him alive.

Once I had processed his words, I held out my own pinky finger, letting my hand linger on the cold surface of the glass.

"I promise, but how can I ever forget you?" I replied in a shaky voice. I held back a flood of tears, trying to make sense of everything. Jake and I had promised one another (crossed our hearts and hoped to die) that we would always have each others' back, and that we would one day run away together.

"Just promise me, okay? Promise me that you'll never forget our friendship!" Jake pleaded, his eyes glazed with tears.

At this rate, my lungs were struggling to function to full capacity and my voice trembled as it broke the silence between us.

"I promise, Jay. You're scaring me... Please, tell me what's going on?" I asked, my body shaking as though I had just awoken from a horrible night terror.

Well, that was it... This was all just a dream. This is just another nightmare, right? I must be dreaming. Wake up, wake up, Hazel! Dammit, wake up! Get a grip on yourself, this can't be happening, right?

My mind could not fathom my disordered thoughts, and suddenly it became difficult to breathe...

I can't breathe, oh my god I can't breathe...

For a moment I wished it had all been a simple daydream... At least things would be simple, easier...

"Hazel, I'm leaving for real this time," Jake's voice trembled in the darkness, a sudden gust of wind blowing through the stuffy air before he continued, "I'm moving far away without you, Carrots, and I'm never allowed to see you ever again!"

Jake's voice broke, but to my surprise his spirit stayed intact. "I'll never stop searching for you until I've found you, Hazel! Cross my heart and hope to die, I will find you again," he said quietly, his words full of conviction.

Speechless, I felt as knots formed in my stomach, causing me to feel suddenly ill. I thought my heart was going to break, just shatter into a million tiny pieces.

Today was the only day my best friend and I got to spend together, and now he was leaving me to rot here all alone.

So many emotions ran through my mind, confusing me even more. My brain swam and the room spun in circles as I tried to absorb all of the information that had just been thrown at me.

I cried silently, feeling vulnerable; I hated feeling vulnerable. I reached a trembling hand and rested it on the thin glass, as did Jake. We stared into each other's sad eyes, feeling the pain grow stronger between us.

Jake reached down, pulling his favorite soft, brown teddy bear from his bag; it had an envelope attached. He stuffed both items through the crack in the broken window, and I reached through to retrieve the gifts, cradling the bear under one arm while I tore open the envelope with another.

It was a picture of Jake and I, smiling and holding hands at the beach.

"Happy birthday, Hazel!" Jake said, his voice breaking as I stared into his eyes. "I wanted you to have Teddy, so you can have something to remind you of me."

The last six words that flew out of his mouth caused my entire body to crumble, folding in on itself entirely. It felt as though an iceberg had collided with my heart, pushing me under the bitter waves and engulfing me completely.

"Carrots... I will always love you," Jake exclaimed softly, a single tear falling down his soft cheek.

Inhaling deeply, Jake stepped backward, dropping his hand from the glass; I could not bear the thought of doing the same, just the idea made me feel lost, as though I would be lost for centuries.

A honk echoed through the night air, bringing me back to reality.

Love is a strong word; I did not believe that I was worthy of his love. Was I worthy of love? Was this actually happening? No, he couldn't leave me. If only my family were better, it was all their fault! How could they have ruined this for me? For us? I needed you, Jake! I can't live without you! I will never be the same without you, Jake...

A heavy pit forming in my stomach, I sniffled as my cloudy eyes darted to the floorboards, tears staining my cheeks. My fingernails dug into Teddy, my knuckles whitening as I tightened my grip.

Jake glanced over his shoulder behind him, toward the sound of his mothers honk, then glanced back at me with a small smile indicating his hesitation. He waved goodbye, causing my heart to throb once more before he spun on his heels and hurried toward his mother's car. I watched him fumble with the door handle, then hopped in; the tires screeched on the road beneath them as his mother sped off.

I realized with a pang of guilt that I did not tell Jake that I loved him, too. It was far too late to tell him now, and I had lost my only chance. Seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours. Time passed slowly and painfully as my thoughts fell into nothingness.

My hands shook as I noticed the photograph had fallen face down onto the dirty floor; I reached for it before realizing there was a scribbled message on the back of the picture. It appeared to be written in crayon, and it looked like it had been written in haste.

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July 13th

Happy 10th Birthday, Hazel!

Carrots, I am so sorry.

I'm sorry for putting you in danger, and I'm so sorry that you almost drowned. Please forgive me; I will keep my promise, Hazel. I will never stop searching until the day I have found you again. I will always love you, my Carrots.

Love,
Jay

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I stared out toward the distance, out in the direction that Jake had disappeared, into the unknown... Without me... Why did he have to go? Please come back! Like they always do, the good things in my life have gone up in smoke.

Salty tears stained my swollen cheeks, stinging my eyes; the night was dark, and a thunderstorm was brewing outside. The rain pounded against the roof, reminding me that I had no tears left to cry. All I could think about was how blue I felt, and how much I wanted Jake to be with me. I needed my best friend back... I have no idea how to live without you, Jake.

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Please, tell me in the comments what you thought about Chapter Four? 🙈 I'll be greatly appreciated, thank you, you very kind soul!
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~ Chapter Four ~
~ Dedications ~
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HeliiBoh
DebMorey
PeterPetruzzella
CaitlinWoodward9
DaniJones_14
ChloeMayerhofer
savvvy1998
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You guys should totally check out PeterPetruzzella short story! Lighthouse. It's amazing! Please also go check out Peter's YouTube account pure56 for awesome content on movies, tv-shows, and game reviews!
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You guys should totally check out ChloeMayerhofer story! Fallen! It's awesome!
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C.Morey 🥕 xoxo
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