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~ Day Dreams ~
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~ Chapter Eight ~
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~ Reflections ~
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~ June-Third ~
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~ Eighteen-Years-Old ~
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~ Hazel's POV ~
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My body was sitting frozen at the desk, my tears beginning to fall upon the surface of the wood. I flip over the photograph grip in my quivering hands, searching with eager eyes for the rush message written in smudged crayon.

I glance at the words written on the photograph, taking that as a sign that I definitely did not imagine the words written all those years ago...

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July 13th
Happy 10th Birthday, Hazel!
Carrots, I am so sorry.
I'm sorry for putting you in danger, and I'm so sorry that you almost drowned. Please forgive me; I will keep my promise, Hazel. I will never stop searching until the day I have found you again. I will always love you, my Carrots.

Love,
Jay

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Reading those words, I feel pathetic; the pain and loneliness digs deep, as though I snapped back to the night Jake had left me behind.

Sometimes it's hard to admit it, even to myself, but I do miss the genuine memories that I had previously shared with loved ones. I miss Jake; I missed all of the memories that we shared together, all of the adventures and fun things we had experienced together. Unfortunately our friendship had been cut short, making everything more complicated.

Jake Rivers had been a very significant part of my childhood... and I thought he always would be. It had been eight years since I heard anything from him, and suddenly I wondered why I still haven't heard anything from him during that time. Clearly that indicates that he's forgotten about me, so why was I even holding onto the memory of him? It was best not to get my hopes up, reminding myself that my longing was bound to dissipate with more time.

Shifting from the slump position I was in, a silent tear turning into a sob as it feels as though my heart has fallen to the pit of my stomach. Building up the courage to drag my weary body from the comfort of the chair, I stand as I swallow the lump of despair caught in my throat.

I suddenly feel as though my sorrow would split the earth and swallow me whole as I walk through the room, but as I pass the mirror, I stop in my tracks.

I stare at my reflection, suddenly unrecognizable as the photograph continues to shake in my hands.

Why do I feel this way? I'm alive, but I'm not living; I'm just barely functioning, I'm barely even a full person... How did I become this way? I am different, but why was I always the one in pain? How can I ever escape this? It feels as though the pain would eat me alive, from the inside out.

I continue to stare into the mirror, gazing at the suddenly unfamiliar person reflecting into the surface of the glass, taking in each aspect of the strangers' appearance.

There's deep, dark shadows underneath my eyes, formed by years of sleep deprivation; my puffy, emerald green eyes appear tired and confused, reflecting the feelings of darkness churning within. My unkempt apricot hair, highlighted with hints of both copper and gold, cascaded down the length of my back in waves.

My hair color set off my porcelain skin, calling attention to the scattered, caramel-colored freckles sprinkled across my straight nose. Staring into my narrow face, I notice the pouty mouth, high cheekbones rosy due to my flustered temperament. Being far shorter than average, my clothes hang loosely, hiding my small frame from the view of the world.

I glance at the expression on my face, weak and gloomy. My unfortunate past forced me to be silent in my suffering, making me swallow the sorrow and the sadness that threatens to eat me alive 24-7.

My life seems to breed more tragedy with every day that passes, that each time my surroundings seem solid, they simply descend from grasp. My body and soul feels disconnected from the rest of the world. I feel insignificant, invisible; detached from the general human population and for good reason.

I dry my puffy cheeks with the sleeve of my shirt, wiping away the despair that threatened to swallow my pride as I stared into the surface of the glass mirror before me.

I am far from perfect; I am insecure, but who in my position wouldn't be? I have been bullied my whole life, for my hair, my height and essentially my whole appearance, all because being different is seemingly unacceptable in this day and age...

Sliding the photograph back into the book I found it in, I begin to walk towards the ensuite as my body suddenly aches for a cold, brisk shower. After the brisk shower, I change into my pajamas and grab the acceptance letter sitting on the still untidy bed before running down the stairs in search of Emma.

Walking into the dining room, I notice delicious aromas flowing through the air. There was a stack of dinner plates on the marble table, full to the brim with dinner rolls heaping with melting butter, platters of vegetables and salads, roast chicken and bake potatoes with sour cream and melting cheese.

Oh my God, this must be heaven.

"Whoa, what's the occasion? Hey Emma, do you need any help?" I ask, wiping my face to ensure I wasn't actually drooling.

As I come close to the kitchen doorway, Emma's head pops out for a moment before retreating quickly back into the room. I walk into the kitchen, noticing Emma was now standing by the sink with an apron covering her uniform, each of her hands engulf in oven mitts.

Emma greets me with a warm smile, pulling me gently into a hug. Emma releases me after a moment, running her hands over her hairs in search of any flyaways that threaten to escape the bun knotted tightly at the top of her head.

"Hi, sweetie. Absolutely no occasion, and I'm just about done here so no help is needed," Emma said with a wink before continuing, "I made all of your favorites."

I smile in response to Emma's attempt at comforting me, knowing full-well what she was up to.

My thoughts wander for a moment, pondering the difficulties of my past. I have done my best to play the hand of crappy cards I have been dealt for the last seventeen years, and for the first time I was actually looking forward to the future. The road ahead didn't seem as dim as it has been previously, with the potential possibilities beginning to light the road ahead.

"Hazel, sit down at the dining table. You're being disrespectful, young lady," my foster father says suddenly, jolting me back to reality.

I clearly was caught up in my thoughts for longer than I thought, as I didn't even realize that my foster father was already sitting at the table. I realize with embarrassment that I typically tend to talk to myself more often than not.

Oh my God, how embarrassing! I can't be the only one that does this, right?

"My apologies, of course," I said, rushing to take my seat at the table. Realizing the acceptance letter was still tightly in my hand, I place it in my lap for later use.

Looking around, I glance at each member of my foster family, with Henry and Tina sitting on either side of my foster parents.

Emma enters the room and begins to heap the delicious food onto each of their antique plates.

"May I ask why you are wearing clothing that is inappropriate for the dinner table, Hazel?" I hear my foster father ask.

"I'm sorry, but I haven't been feeling the best today," I say quietly, hoping no further explanation would be required.

Mr. Lockwood nods, choosing not to press any further. Once Emma finishes piling the food onto our places, she retreats from the room to clean herself up before joining us.

Emma's movement reminds me just how much I despise pompous people like the Lockwoods, as it has been made clear that Mr. Lockwood doesn't appreciate Emma joining the table in the same clothes she was previously cooking in.

This family made me feel as though I stand out like a sore thumb, making me feel as ostracized as my own family had once done. I never got the chance to meet any members of my family, my father made sure of that. I have my suspicions that my father hadn't even informed them of my existence to begin with...

I shake my head, trying to clear the sudden memories from my mind. Emma enters the room, wearing her clean maid's uniform and proceeding to take the vacant seat beside me.

I sip my water, pondering how best to proceed.

"So... I got my acceptance letter today, so I got in!" I blurt suddenly, the excitement clear in my voice.

Emma squeezes my arm and silently mouths, 'congrats'.

"Duh, that's what acceptance means, you dummy!" Henry said, rolling his eyes at Tina as she nods in response.

I glare at the twins, thinking to myself that they were reminiscent of the devil himself. They were pretty open about how much they hate my guts, which I find funny because they aren't able to do too much about it. They treat me like dirt and try to make my life difficult whenever the opportunity presents itself.

Thank God I'll be leaving soon...

"Shh, you two," Mrs. Lockwood interjects through a mouthful of food. "Hazel, may I please take a look at your acceptance letter?"

With reluctant hands, I hand the letter to Mrs. Lockwood as her face lit up in response; I was eager to hear their opinions on the matter.

"It's probably a fake!" Tina said as she and Henry grimace in unison.

"Hazel has no friends and we all know she's desperate for attention!" Henry shouts, malice clear in his tone.

I try to ignore the twins comments with a silent sigh escaping my mouth.

"Well, it looks real to me. Congratulations, Hazel," Mrs. Lockwood said in response before handing the letter back to me.

"This is unfair, why does she get all the attention?!" Tina wailes, throwing her arms into the air while Henry shoots me a death stare from across the table.

"For heaven sake, can you two quit it and eat your dinner? Your food is getting cold, so eat!" Mr. Lockwood growles, scowling at the twins.

I continue eating my delicious food; just as each member empties their plates entirely, Mrs. Lockwood's voice breaks the silence.

"That reminds me; Henry, Tina, now that you've finished your dinner, please go to your room as we must speak with Hazel in private," Mrs. Lockwood said gently, raising her eyebrows at the twins as they scoff in response.

The twins stand, walking silently from the dining room and continuing upstairs towards their bedroom.

Mrs. Lockwood clears her throat, causing me to glance in her direction and wait patiently for her to continue.

"Hazel, we need to discuss a few things. You are eighteen soon, and now that you have received your college acceptance letter, we need to decide what comes next," Mrs. Lockwood said quietly.

"Oh..." I said, clueless.

"When we took you in, we agreed to provide you with our care and support until you were eighteen years old, and after your eighteenth birthday you will be the sole person responsible for your wellbeing," Mrs. Lockwood said.

"I'm a little confused. Can you please simplify that a little?" I ask, lost.

"Once your eighteenth birthday passes, you will no longer be welcome under this roof. Both you and that cat and you will need to vacate no later than the date of your birthday," Mr. Lockwood interjects.

I feel Emma's hand find mine, squeezing it gently as my brain struggles to process the words Mr. Lockwood just threw at me. I shift uncomfortably, thoughts beginning to race.

"Can I ask why?" I ask tentatively, afraid of the response.

"Well if it were up to me, you would have been out a long time ago," Mr. Lockwood said, raising his voice. "We signed an agreement upon your retrieval which stipulated that we would be burdened with providing you with the necessities throughout the duration of your time with us. In addition, it also stipulated that as long as you consider this to be your home, we are to be financially responsible for all of your future endeavors."

"Why did you even take me in?" I ask quietly, my voice breaking on the last word.

"We were provided with incentives, of course. There is one more matter that we must discuss—your stepmother Fiona has been placed in a mental institution and unfortunately your father has tragically passed away while in prison. Your father has left everything to you," Mr. Lockwood said quickly.

Struggling to process the information presented to me, I shake my head in disbelief. My father was gone... I can't help but feel numb as I realize that I would never have to see Fiona or my father again.

"So let me get this straight... You took me in just for the incentives, and now you're kicking me out the minute I turn 18 because you will no longer have access to those incentives? What would have happened if I hadn't gotten into college?" I ask in disbelief.

"You did get accepted, and that's what matters" Mrs. Lockwood interjected in a failed attempt at reassurance.

"Well, you were accepted and that's the main thing, but if you hadn't gotten accepted then unfortunately it would've ended the same way. You and that cat will be out of this house by the end of your eighteenth birthday and that is final!" Mr. Lockwood shouts, his voice reverberating harshly around the room, catching me off guard. My foster father never did like me, even from first glance.

"Why couldn't you have told me these things earlier? So, I was mentally prepared," I ask, in frustration.

Mrs. Lockwood simply murmurs in response, but Mr. Lockwood met my eyes with a harsh stare. "We do not have to explain our reasoning to you," Mr. Lockwood said sternly, his eyes still staring into mine.

Wow! So much for being my foster family... I hated them! I hated this fake family!

Fed up with the Lockwoods, I stand to my feet and storm out of the toxic dining room, fleeing straight up the carpet stairs.

As I approach the landing, I notice the evil twins were blocking my pathway. The twins have jarring features alongside their awful personalities. Both have black hair and brown eyes, their sharp features making it seem as though they were always squinting.

I cross my arms against my chest as I roll my eyes at them both, trying to compose myself. "Is there a problem?" I ask.

"You think you're so lucky that you're leaving with all that money, huh? Well, you're still a loser and you'll always be a loser," Tina said, her tone lace with malice.

Realizing they must have overheard the conversation downstairs, I feel anger beginning to burn through my body.

I stare at them blankly, refusing to dignify their words with a response; I will not give them the satisfaction of knowing that they bother me.

"You're a gross redhead and nobody cares about you! Get over yourself already! You'll never fit in, so stop trying!" Tina yells angrily.

As if I haven't heard that one before... The twins aren't even worth my time, and with a shove I walk past them as they both roll their eyes and poke their slimy tongues towards me.

My legs carry me towards the bedroom door, still ajar. I must have been so excited that I forgot to close it properly; how quickly things can change.

In a mood, I walk into the ensuite and brush my teeth with such ferocity I begin to worry for the wellbeing of the enamel protecting my teeth.

After brushing my teeth, I walk over to the unmade bed and sit on the edge; I reach for the bedside table to take the sleeping pills that rests on the surface. After popping one in my mouth, I lay down and pull the sheets over my head. I bury my head in the pillow as my eyes flood the material, the sounds are muffled by the soft pillow.

Once the sobs slow, I roll over and pull Teddy close; the teddy Jake had given me all those years ago. I breathe in deeply, inhaling the scent of rainbow ice cream and candy along with salty hints of the beach.

One night, we had snuck ice cream and candy into Jake's room after one of his birthday parties; I had woken up with a melted candy latched in my hair, which didn't end well for either of us. The undeniable evidence meant that Jake's mother had grounded him and blamed me for the situation.

Thinking about it, Jake's mother always blamed me for everything. I don't know what I done to make Mrs. Rivers hate me so much... Had it been my clothes, hair? My family? Did she have no compassion, could she not see how I was suffering? She had been under no obligation to care for me, but why did she never even seem to care?

Why do you care why she hated you? Why am I still reminiscing about the past? Get over it, Hazel. You're pathetic.

I close my eyes, hoping for sleep to come quickly. A few hours pass and I was still wide awake as my thoughts continue to race.

A soft knock on the door interrupts the silence, creaking open slowly as a shadow becomes visible behind it.

"Hazel, it's Emma," Emma whispers quietly as she enters, making her way slowly across the room. "We just wanted to make sure you were alright, sweetheart," Emma said gently as she places a warm weight onto the bed.

Forest's eyes meets mine in the darkness as I realize she was the weight Emma placed on the bed.

"Thank you, Emma. Thank you for the graduation present, I really do appreciate everything you've done for me," I whisper quietly into the darkness.

"The pleasure is all mine; congratulations on your acceptance! Are you having trouble sleeping?" Emma asks, pursing her lips.

"You know me too well... What am I going to do, Emma? Where am I going to live?" I said, the fear obvious in my voice.

"Well, I know it's not ideal but you can come and live with me if you want to?" Emma asks, her comforting smile reassuring in the darkness.

"Thank you! Of course I want to!" I said excitedly, momentarily forgetting the need to whisper. "Did you, um... Did you know about the agreement that the Lockwoods signed?" I ask nervously.

"No, I had no idea," Emma replies, her eyes wide.

I nod in response, beginning to wonder about the agreement that had been made without my consent.

"How about you try to sleep it off, dear? Did you take your medication? Would you like me to put the rain sounds on?" Emma asks, eager to find a way to help.

"I did take my medication, but the rain sounds are a good idea," I said, feeling the sudden need to stifle a yawn. "I'm really going to miss you when I leave for college."

"Oh Hazel, I'm going to miss you too," Emma replies. "Try to look on the bright side... You get to go to college! It's all paid for and once you inherit that money you'll have endless opportunities!"

Tears wells in my eyes, threatening to escape. "I know, but I don't want any of that to change me, you know? No amount of money will change the fact that I'm still just a loser with red hair," I said, feeling defeated.

"It will not change you, as long as you don't allow it to consume you. Hazel, you're not a loser and you have beautiful hair," Emma replies, her voice sad.

"Thanks Emma, but you're only saying that to make me feel better. My hair stands out like a sore thumb; maybe I should dye it," I said.

"If that will make you feel better, then maybe you should do it. As long as you try to get some sleep," Emma insists quietly as she reaches over to the speaker resting on the bedside table and turns on the rain sounds.

She gave me a hug and a quick kiss on my forehead, whispering goodnight before she turns on her heels and walks silently from the room and closes the door behind her.

I always thought of Emma as the only maternal figure I had ever had and I would miss her dearly; in fact, she was just about the only thing in this whole house I would miss.

The soft rain sounds flows through the speaker, I feel my body relax, my head feeling heavy under the weight of my thoughts. I snuggle Teddy, feeling my warm body beginning to succumb to the sweet lullaby of sleep.

As I drift to sleep, my mind wandering, I begin to hear a quiet whistle in the distance; I thought it must be wind, but it was gaining volume with each moment that passes. It gets so loud that it begins to sound like someone screaming...

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Please, tell me in the comments what you thought about Chapter Eight? 🙈 I'll be greatly appreciated, thank you, you very kind soul!
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~ Chapter Eight ~
~ Dedications ~
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HeliiBoh
DebMorey
PeterPetruzzella
CaitlinWoodward9
DaniJones_14
ChloeMayerhofer
savvvy1998
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You guys should totally check out PeterPetruzzella short story! Lighthouse. It's amazing! Please also go check out Peter's YouTube account pure56 for awesome content on movies, tv-shows, and game reviews!
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You guys should totally check out ChloeMayerhofer story! Fallen! It's awesome!
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C.Morey 🥕 xoxo
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