CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
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NIKOLAI LANTSOV REMEMBERED SEEING HIS FATHER ON THE THRONE; lying on the chair, a glass in his hand, his face turned up to the help, his shirt nearly bursting from a well-nursed stomach. He remembered thinking being a king was easy, it was all about parties and lounging about, and he would not want that for a second of his life.

But being a king wasn't going to be easy. Not when Nikolai wanted to make a difference. Not when he wasn't a Lantsov. Not when Nikolai couldn't shake the unease gnawing at him, the lurking feeling deep within him like shadows.

Nikolai's jaw clenched, and he took a deep breath as he looked at the mirror in his room, rolling back his shoulder with a hiss, before shoving the pain away and straightening his clothes, golden embroidered, proper for a king.

There was a knock on his door, and Nikolai glanced over his shoulder, saying, "Come in," before glancing back at the mirror.

Through the reflection, his eyes met those of the Apparat, as he walked inside the room after his guards opened the doors. "You are expected shortly for the processional," he said shortly.

Nikolai nodded as he straightened his jacket again, "I'll be there straight away. Suppose I am the guest of honor." Raising his eyebrows as the Apparat kept standing by the doorway, Nikolai turned to him, "Any words of advice from your time ruling in my family's stead?"

The Apparat pursed his lips, "Some might have cautioned you against staging this celebration on the night of Hringkälla. The most notable Fjerdan festival."

"And some might call it a strong opening salvo," said Nikolai with a small, forced, grin. "What should I call you? Certainly, Apparat is not your birth name. You look very much like a Lev," he added, turning back to the mirror.

"You are drawing a line in the sand," said the Apparat taking a step closer. "You are demanding to know who has Ravka's back based on the attendance list."

Nikolai nodded, "That's the general plan. Yes."

"And you will face scrutiny. Distrust. Could lead to further problems," the Apparat said and Nikolai turned to look at him again, his jaw tightened, keeping his emotions at bay as the Apparat looked at him like he was dirt on his shoe, like he was the worst thing that could've happened to Ravka. " For instance, your claim to the throne might be called into question."

Nikolai forced a smile, "Any other optimistic words of advice? Leonid?"

"Without having the Sun Saint as your general, you would not have made it this far. You're lucky your betrothed is being considered by the people something close to a Saint, or else, that would've been the last drop." The Apparat scoffed. "You're only as strong as the Sun Saint. As your Dawn Summoner—well, as long as the people don't find her to be a fraud, an abomination."

His fists clenched behind his back and Nikolai raised an eyebrow at the man, "For a man of faith, you don't seem to have a lot in me."

"I put my faith in those who have earned it. One more thing," he said before getting to the door, "There is no place for secrets when you sit upon the throne."

Nikolai scoffed lowly, "Such sage wisdom," he said with a sarcastic smile and the Apparat only rose a patronizing brow his way.

"I'll see you in the chapel," said the Apparat before the doors closed behind him.

Nikolai's jaw tightened and his eyes closed tightly before he looked back in the mirror. He rolled his shoulder back, feeling something stir beneath his skin, and took off his jacket, laying it over the back of a chair.

With a shaky breath, Nikolai fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, before finally taking it off, groaning as he reached for his shoulder. He went to put his shirt down and gritted his teeth together as he felt that same unease gnawing at his back.

Looking back at the mirror, Nikolai gasped, as instead of his reflection he found shadows the size of a man growling back at him, and he reached for his shoulder, blinking, and just like that the shadows were gone and he was left looking back at himself.

Soon to be King of Ravka. The Lantsov Bastard. A fraud. A cursed king. He breathed heavily, trying to gather himself just as he heard voices coming from outside his chambers.

"Open the fucking doors!" he heard her voice like a breeze of fresh air and suddenly the pain on his shoulder became more bearable.

Quickly donning his shirt, he watched as the doors burst open and Morana walked in, her curls flailing wildly around her shoulders, a glare on her eyes as she looked back at the recoiling guards who immediately closed the doors.

Nikolai was already having difficulty breathing, but he suddenly forgot how to do it, to begin with. She was wearing a blue dress, the color of the True Sea. It was rare Morana wore a dress, and every time she did the breath got knocked out of his lungs—in fairness, though, that happened every time he saw her.

Her black eyes swept over his body, and she frowned.

"What happened?" she demanded, stepping closer.

Instinctively, Nikolai rolled his shoulder but hissed as the pain flared. "Nothing. What brings you here, da—"

"Don't you dare lie, Nikolai," she snapped at him, closing the distance between them some more.

His arms reached out for her waist, pulling her closer only he hissed as his shoulder blared in pain. Morana's eyes fixed on his injury, and she raised an eyebrow.

"Take off your shirt, love," she whispered as if knowing what she would find.

"We have less than an hour until we're at the chapel, darling. I don't think now is the time—"

Morana silenced him, reaching for his shirt and tearing it off his shoulder. Nikolai winced as her fingers grazed his skin. His wound on display and he could only be thankful she wasn't looking at the matching wound on his back.

"You told me it had healed," she muttered, looking up at him through worried eyes.

"I—Mora, why are you here?" he asked and he knew she knew exactly what he meant.

"I felt it. I felt... Morozova merzost. I thought you... Nikolai, why didn't you tell me?"

He closed his eyes tightly and shrugged; hissing as her fingers grazed over the skin around the wound on his shoulder. "I didn't want you to worry."

Morana grabbed his face with her hands and made him look at her again before she leaned up and brushed her lips against his. "You said we'd be terrified together," she whispered against his lips.

He looked into her eyes, brimming with love, and a small smile tugged at his lips before he kissed her again; showing her how much it meant to him that she was there, how much of a relief it felt to have her close. Because, yes, they would be terrified together, they'd fight together, and they'd rule together, for a king without his queen couldn't survive.

"Were it not for you, I'd be the loneliest king in the world," he said as she pulled away and Morana let out a low laugh, raising her hand in between them. A ring adorned her finger, a sapphire as blue as the ocean set in a silver band, with small pearls decorating its sides.

Nikolai had sent out for his sister to make it for Morana. A stolen sapphire from a pirate crew, pearls from the depths of the True Sea in the Wandering Island, and Fabrikator made. It was a much better improvement from the Lantsov ring.

"I'm in this for the long haul, darling," Morana said with a smile, shoving his good shoulder. "Now sit."

Without hesitation, Nikolai settled into an armchair in his quarters, smirking as Morana perched herself on his lap. His arm snaked around her waist, drawing her in despite the fabric of her dress. Her dark eyebrows furrowed as she peered down at his shoulder, her crimson lips pursed.

But Nikolai only had eyes for her, his gaze trailing over the dark locks of her hair and the dress that made him want to tear it from her body. He hissed as her fingers pressed next to the wound on his shoulder.

"You're ogling," she murmured.

"Gazing."

"It's distracting," she said before tilting his head to the side so his shoulder was more exposed to her. "You know how you kept this a secret from me?"

"Mora, I—"

"A secret for a secret, love, it's only fair," she said, a small smile playing on her lips as she looked at him again. Nikolai raised an eyebrow at her and Morana shrugged. "I've been feeling more... powerful in a way. Because my merzost is now mostly balanced I began exploring more what it meant."

"And?"

"Baghra told me Dawn is a time of rebirth, of cleansing, of awakening and resurrection, and well, what if I can heal you?"

"Heal me?"

Morana nodded, fiddling with the scarlet ribbon Nikolai had tied around his wrist, after replacing it with a ring on Morana's finger. "It would be magical healing but it could work."

"I trust you," he simply said, grasping her hand in his, and Morana kissed him softly before pulling away and looking at his shoulder again, examining his wound.

Nikolai closed his eyes as he let go of her hand and felt her hands hover above both his back and the spot above his chest, where the nichevo'ya had pierced his skin, and gritted his teeth together as a cold feeling, gelid like the waters of the Northern Islands were, hit his skin. He could feel the shadows below his skin, the irking feeling of fear, fading away but then Morana gasped.

His eyes snapped open and Nikolai looked over at his shoulder, just in time to see the newly healed skin, open up again, receding to how it was before Morana had attempted to heal, only this time it burned as it slashed at his skin again. A pained groan left his lips and Morana grimaced.

"I'm sorry, it was working but—"

"You're bleeding, Mora," said Nikolai as he looked up at her face, seeing the trail of blood from her nose.

Morana shook her head, wiping it away with the handkerchief Nikolai passed her. "It didn't hurt. It... The merzost inside you is unbalanced, Nikolai, we need to find out—"

Nikolai cut her off with a kiss, "Not today," he mumbled against her lips, "Let's just pretend I'm as perfect as ever for the day."

"But you are, you're everything," said Morana before a low moan escaped her lips as Nikolai's mouth found the hollow of her throat, his heart speeding up at her words and he knew she believed them with all her heart and soul.

His hands trailed up her waist, and his fingers danced along the edge of her corset, teasing the strings, but he stopped short when her nails dug into his arm as a warning. His muscles tensed beneath her touch. "Nikolai, do you know how to tie a corset?"

"I know how to untie one," he answered against her skin and Morana let out a chuckle.

"If you don't know how to tie it, darling, then you won't be untying it."

"My love, I'm a privateer, I know my way around knots and ropes," he spoke against the skin of her neck, trailing kisses further down.

"You said we have less than an hour—"

"Then we better make it count," he said, cheekily grinning up at her and Morana rolled her eyes before pulling him closer, capturing his lips with hers.

At that moment, the weight of the world melted away, and Nikolai felt the burden on his shoulders lighten, all thanks to the arrival of his queen.

•••

Morana Zoreslava was worried. Understandably so. Nikolai had unbalanced merzost inside him and she had no idea how to get it out. How to help him.

She'd find out her magical healing did in fact work, only the shadows that brewed under his skin countered the light of her magic, reversing the process.

And Nikolai was shoving it aside, because, apparently, his well-being was the lowest of his priorities if it even was one. Nikolai was stubborn, pushing aside his safety and health as if it were a trivial matter. Well, for Morana it was the top of her priorities, especially as she could feel the way he was trying to hide it from her, not show her he was vulnerable too.

She would have none of it. Nikolai be damned if he started hiding who he was just because of a little merzost. If he could crave her like she was poison, Morana would do the same. No matter how cursed they both were—they'd be terrified together; they'd save each other from the darkness and show each other the sun.

But for a day she could put it aside, as she stood in the front of the chapel, her hair pulled away from her face, a sapphire diadem sitting atop her head, as she watched with a small smile on her face as Nikolai walked forward on the altar, lowering himself to one knee, head bowed.

Her eyes met Alina's, who was sitting in the front row and the Shu girl winked at her, a smile on her face. Zoya, next to him smirked slightly and Genya smiled kindly before Morana turned back to look at Nikolai.

The Apparat, who was questionably looking at Nikolai, placed a crown on his head, before using the scepter, lowering it to each of Nikolai's shoulders before handing it to him, along with the orb, both golden like him. Then the Apparat bowed his head and Nikolai raised himself on his feet.

Shoulders squared and head held high, as everyone in the crowd stood up, clapping for their new King. And Morana had to bite down her smile as she looked at him, spotting the red ribbon around his wrist despite the royal attire, seeing how well-fitting the role of a king was to him.

Only she raised an eyebrow as her eyes fell on a girl, dressed in a red dress, walking towards the middle of the altar. Morana's eyes met the guard's beside her and he nodded to her, starting to walk around the benches just as the girl screamed something in Fjerda.

Morana had only but a second to glance at Alina before she felt her heart stop in her chest, a gasp leaving her lips as her shoulders tended out of their own accord.

Screams erupted through the chapel, and Morana watched in horror as people started to cough up blood as the girl walked down the aisle.

Morana's eyes fell on Nikolai who was falling to his knees, the scepter in his hand clattering to the ground and she gritted her teeth, urging the merzost inside her to block whatever magnified Small Science was putting her into cardiac arrest, and had enough power to slash her arm through the air, a blade of shadow and light flying through the air mixing with the shadow Cut Alina had managed to summon and cutting the girl's head clean off her body.

The screaming stopped, half the people in the chapel had stopped breathing and Morana took a shaky breath, lowering her hand. She made sure Alina, Zoya, and Genya were still breathing before turning to Nikolai, who was coughing as he tried to gather his breath.

She fell to her knees next to him and Nikolai turned up to her with a nod, "We'll be terrified together," he said lowly and Morana breathed out a relieved chuckle.

Morana Zoreslava was horned cursed, burned from the depths of hell, a villain for a father, shadows for a family, a monster for a mother. But she had made herself blessed. She'd found her sun in the darkness of her life and she would dig her claws into this life that she loved and never let go.

Morana Zoreslava had found her sun, her family, and everything that she needed to balance out the shadows that plagued her life.

Lies catch up to you, her mother's voice echoed through her head, run faster. But this life was not a lie, and Morana could stop running, from the shadows, from the lies that haunted her, and for once in her life she'd stay. She'd stay and fight for what she wanted—what she finally understood she deserved.

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(big) author's note:

first of all, thank you everyone for supporting this story. i might not answer every comment but i do see all of them and they truly make my day.

second of all, i just wanted to say, thank god you guys liked this story cause i was scared shitless i wouldn't be able to write nikolai (the bastard is a complex character),  or kaz for that matter (but that's in saints).

i hope i did the king of ravka some justice and that you loved morana as much as i did. she was such a complex character to write too...

anyway, this is the end of Dawn, at least until season three is (hopefully) announced.

idk what i'll be writing now but i may begin another fic, this time set in the books (probably SoC); so keep on the lookout for that one

btw: i did start a new fic. Outlaw. go check it out! it's another kaz fic set in the books

thanks again <3