CHAPTER SIXTEEN
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NIKOLAI LANTSOV, FUTURE KING OF RAVKA. A position in the world where the crown weigh more than just one country, where his enemies were more than his friends, and where he had the pressure of the entire Ravkan population to make the Lantsov name mean something good again.

What was done to me can never be undone, Genya had told him as he tried to apologize, for his father, his mother, his name. What I want to know is whether or not you truly mean to fix all that is broken about Ravka, or if you are just destined to repeat the failures of our previous kings.

Nikolai wouldn't—couldn't—be like his family, like Vasily, like his father. Men who took advantage of a country like it was their own courtyard to prance about without a care for the welfare of the population, the state of their foreign affairs, and the fact that their country was being ripped apart at the seams.

But he wasn't the king. Not yet. Right now he was just trying to keep everyone under his care safe at the fort at Zvedya, so they could chart a plan once and for all to destroy the Fold. Kill the Darkling.

Then he could deal with Fjerda and Shu Han. Then he could deal with all the enemies that didn't control the shadows. Then he could deal with breaking off his engagement to the Sun Summoner. Because if he was going to do all that, to accept the weight of the crown, he needed her.

He needed Morana by his side because as long as she was there the weight would be tolerable, the pressure would lessen and he wouldn't be... alone. Still, he had to end the engagement and convince her to stay with him, and Nikolai feared that last part would be harder than destroying the Fold.

"Nikolai!"

Nikolai halted in his steps, frowning as he saw Mal show up out of literally nowhere. "Oh, Saints! I was beginning to worry I might have to tell Alina you're dead. Where did my scout find you?"

"I found him, coming out of a well that lead down here," said Mal as he strained his neck over him, trying to glance around the world.

"Was it because of your link with Mora?"

"Partly," the tracker answered absentmindedly. "Where's Alina?"

Nikolai patted him on the shoulder, "Don't worry, she's safe."

"Mal? You're back!" Morana's voice sounded through the walls of the caves like a melody in Nikolai's ears and he turned towards his siren but the smile on his lips fell as she lunged at Mal, wrapping her arms around him. "What the hell happened to you?"

Mal chuckled as he hugged Morana. They pulled away from each other and Morana smiled, Nikolai frowned, and Mal shrugged. "Trouble with the crown prince, I am a deserter, after all."

"Mal, you are aware we have no bad blood, yes?" asked Nikolai and Mal frowned.

Morana's smile faltered. "Prince Vasily died, Mal."

"Oh." Mal turned towards Nikolai and offered him a smile that verged on a grimace, "I'm sorry—"

"It's unfortunate, yes," Nikolai interrupted him with a wave of his hand, the last thing on his mind was grief, not when Vasily dying felt nothing compared to when he thought Kira had died; not when the pressure of a country at his responsibility was heavier. "Now, would you like to go find your sunshine?"

"Last I saw her she was headed for the chapel," said Morana as the three of them started walking towards the place in question, just as the caves rumbled.

The three of them shared a look and took off towards the chapel, finding Baghra entering the room where Alina was sitting down on a bench, her hands gripping the wood, light pulsating around her, her eyes tightly closed. She was going to bury them alive if she kept going.

"Alina? What's she doing?" asked Mal.

"Reaching Aleksander through a mental tether forged by the Stag amplifier," said Baghra, as Morana and Mal walked forward.

"She'll bring the roof down!" said Nikolai and Mal nodded, rushing towards Alina and grabbing her shoulders, shaking her awake.

"Alina! Alina! Alina, wake up." Mal crouched down next to her, grabbing her eyes as she shook her. "Alina, come on, look at me! Alina!"

As Mal shook Alina out of her trance, Nikolai saw Morana raise her hands in front of herself, closing her eyes tightly, before opening them as swirls of light and shadow spilled from her palms, traveling through the air as they began to braid around each other, around Mal and Alina, covering them both from sight; the rumbling lessened.

Nikolai's eyes met Baghra's, the older woman was looking at Morana with curious eyes, proud even. And that prompted him to look at the woman in front of him.

Her hair was faintly flying around her face, her face seemed to glow and her dark eyes swirled with silver. She looked the most beautiful he'd ever seen her, the power oozing out of her making it impossible to look away. Then the silver in her eyes disappeared and Morana stumbled back, cursing under her breath as the dome around Mal and Alina fell.

"The shadows took over," she gritted out as she looked over at Baghra who in turn pursed her lips, nodding in understanding.

And then Mal was shoved back by Alina who snapped, "Saints, Mal! I had him! I would've severed our link if you hadn't pulled my focus!"

Alina was panting and Nikolai nearly grimaced at the tension that grew tenfold in the little chapel. His eyes met Mal's and he gave him a small smile before leading Baghra and Morana out of the chapel.

•••

Nikolai never had the best relationship with his family. Being a bastard and whatnot. Still, his mother, despite her distance, always treated him like a true son, like she treated Vasily. She was proud of him and that meant absolutely nothing to Nikolai. His mother was merely a shell of herself, a shallow human being ruined by vanity. Since he'd learned of his parents' actions towards Kira, Nikolai's empathy plummeted to the ground.

"You'll go with my guards tonight," he told her firmly.

"I'll do no such thing!" she shrieked.

"You'll be safe, far from the fighting and the reach of the Darkling," said Nikolai, trying his best to sound patient, "It'll be good for you."

"In what sense? I am the Queen Mother," she said, "I belong in the palace with you, not in some convent."

Nikolai's jaw clenched and he took a deep breath before continuing, "Your time as Queen has come to an end. Now it is time for you to take some rest."

His mother grabbed his hand in his, her cold fingers wrapping around his, and she sighed, "Please, Milen'kiy. Please, you're all I have left."

Nikolai scoffed, yanking his hands out of her grasp and his mother gasped like she'd just been slapped. Nikolai took a deep breath once more. "I know that despite your position, life has not always been kind to you. You didn't choose to marry the King or the isolation that came with your role as Queen. But none of that justifies the choices you did make. Your daughter died because of you, you sent her into the Fold with no intention of bringing her back—"

"Your sister's death has nothing to do—"

"It has everything to do with this," snapped Nikolai. Kira might've been alive but for the better part of his life he'd mourned her, he'd felt the loss of her in his heart. He wanted to throw it in his mother's face that she was alive, that she'd gotten rid of them and was better off, but Kira didn't want to be alive again in the eyes of Ravka, so he kept his mouth shut. "You were blinded by appearances, blinded by so-called stains on your blood. Whether you were driving the skiff or not, Madraya, you took part in killing my sister. For the mere act of existing."

"She was Grisha, Milen'kiy. I did not kill her, we just sent her to the West—"

"Grisha or not, she was your daughter!" Nikolai said, he clenched his fists trying to calm down. "I'm sorry, Madraya. But if Ravka's to change, it must start with me. You're going tonight."

Without another word, Nikolai left the room, his breathing ragged, the weight on his shoulders increasing, he ran a hand through his hair and rushed through the caves in lookouts of a quiet place. He found himself in the chapel, now unused, and sunk into a wooden bench, his elbows on his knees, face buried in his hands.

His mother had brushed Kira's death like it was dust on her shoulder, a mere obstacle that prevented her from staying by his side. But, truly, she didn't want to be by his side. She wanted to be by the King's side, to keep living the luxurious life of a queen, to keep bathing in shallow waters of vanity and narcissism.

Nikolai's world had shattered when his sister died, and even with her alive and well, she still felt far away. And his mother's world had merely been released of another child bringing her down with rumors of adultery. His father mustn't've even noticed the fact Kira was gone, that he was gone for that matter. And then there was Vasily, who'd become more like father since Kira left, who'd died not a day ago and still Nikolai could not find it in himself to grieve his brother. His bastard of a brother.

And now he was to be king. He was to change Ravka for the better. To change the meaning of the name Lantsov, and it was all crumbling around him, with the Darkling getting more powerful, with the Fold still very much in place, with their defenses down and the population in danger, unhappy. Nikolai told himself the priority was to save Ravka. But he couldn't just save it from the Fold, he had to save it from ripping apart, from its enemies.

And he would be alone for all of it, wouldn't he? He would be the bastard King no one wanted on the throne; a bastard King without his privateer crew, without his family, without his—

"Nikolai?"

His head snapped to the entrance of the room and he saw Morana walking in, her brows pinched in concern. And that's when he noticed the way his breathing had grown uneven, the single tear falling from his eye. He briskly wiped it away, calming himself as he forced a smile on his face. "Missed me, darling?"

"Don't do that," said Morana as she walked closer to him, sitting down beside him.

"Do what?"

"Pretend," she replied softly, "Not with me. You said we'd be terrified together."

But you're not staying, he thought to himself, and that thought had him shaking again. He nodded, closing his eyes tightly as he tried to keep every negative thought out of his mind, every problem plaguing him away, as he tried to ease the pressure on his shoulder. Still, a mere sob escaped his lips as Morana's arms wrapped around him and he slumped against her, burying his head in her neck. He tried to even his breathing as she held him tighter, and found himself sliding his arms around her waist pulling her closer.

He would do his best as King, for Ravka, but for himself, he wanted her. He would be a better man, a better king with Morana by his side. She was a Queen of the True Sea. His poison and Nikolai were addicted to her, her intoxicating presence that both left him without breathing and eased away all that was wrong with the world. He would do his best to be a good king for Ravka. But he would be a better one with Morana by his side. His Queen.

He didn't know how long they sat like that, tangled in each other's arms, but at last, he calmed down, finding the strength to pull away from Morana even if that was the last thing he wanted to do. But he kept her hand in his and Morana made no move to let it go. She reached for his face, grazing her thumb over his cheekbone, and smiled.

"Don't tell your ego I said this," she said, "but you're beautiful."

Nikolai cracked a grin and just like that it was as if the cloud looming over his head lifted. "Beautiful, you say? Don't you mean dashingly handsome? God-like? Otherworldly?"

She rolled her eyes, fighting back a smile. "I take it back. You're average looking."

Nikolai gasped, pinching her side and Morana yelped, distracted enough for Nikolai to pull her closer, "Average-looking? You're aware you're speaking with the future King of Ravka, yes?"

"Was your father anything other than average looking?" she challenged and Nikolai snorted.

"Yes. Below average."

Morana let out a laugh, leaning her head against his shoulder, and warmth spread over his chest, his heartbeat increasing at the melodic sound of her laughter. He wanted to remember it until the end of his days, one laugh from her could lighten his day in a second.

She took a few moments of hesitation though, to speak again, pulling away from his shoulder as she took something from the pocket of her dress. When she opened her hand, Nikolai saw the Lantsov Ring laying on her palm, the emerald shining from the candles in the room.

"Alina told me to give you this ghastly thing back."

Nikolai snorted, "You don't like it, I take it?"

"Not at all," she said with a scrunch of her nose, as placed it on his hand.

"Me neither."

"Good, the King of Ravka should have better taste than that."

Nikolai smiled at that, before adding, "Why did Alina give it back?"

"She has to go," Morana told him.

"The Firebird."

Morana nodded, and hesitated as she added, "I need to go with them."

His eyes snapped to hers again, brows furrowing and Morana squeezed his hand.

"I... I can't be too far from Mal," she said, earnestly, as if she was trying to make him understand she didn't want to leave. "Who knows how far they'll be and I—"

"I know, Mora," interrupted Nikolai, "The last thing I want is to see you hurt."

"Well, the good news is, the sooner we get the firebird and kill it, the sooner the Fold is gone and my father is dead, the sooner I can finally get rid of the links. I'll be free," she finished with a smile but Nikolai couldn't muster one of his own.

"Free to go back to the sea?" he asked quietly and Morana's shoulders tensed. She tried to speak but Nikolai shook his head, his lips tugged into a soft smile, "I do plan on fixing this, Mora."

All she did was smile and nod, though she looked unconvinced. Nikolai ignored the pang in his heart and let go of her hands, reaching for the compass around his and slipping it off, Morana watched him intently as he lifted it over her head, placing it around her neck.

Her breathing hitched when he gathered her hair in one hand, unhooking it from the chain of the compass and letting it fall again around her shoulders. He cupped the back of her neck and pulled her closer, Morana looked back into his eyes, dark eyes spiraling with emotions.

"I usually just steal it from you," she whispered with a small smile and Nikolai grinned.

"I can put it back on my neck if you want. I love having your hands on me." Morana bit back a smile, and Nikolai's eyes fell to her lips before trailing up to her eyes again. "It's an excuse for us to see each other again remember?"

"Couldn't forget. You were always the most welcoming kidnapper."

"Second-hand kidnapper, Mora."

"A secret for a secret?" she asked, a gleam of amusement in her eyes and Nikolai nodded. She whispered mockingly, "The pirates never actually kidnapped me."

Nikolai let out a chuckle and nodded. "I never would've guessed."

"I'm a rather good actress," she agreed, a grin on her lips, "your turn."

Nikolai hummed, letting his thumb trace her bottom lip and Morana kissed his finger softly, "I secretly always looked forward to seeing you for your next trip at pillaging and plundering my ship."

Morana's smile fell into a tug of her lips, her eyes softening as she looked at him with such caring Nikolai would dare to call it love. She whispered, "I always missed you."

"I missed you too," he replied and closed the space between them, savoring the soft kiss before they pulled away. Savoring the feel of her lips like it was the last time because he wasn't sure whether Morana would stay, whether he would fix it, and he didn't want to think about it at the moment either. He pressed his forehead to hers as they pulled away and smiled as his eyes met hers. "I'll always miss you."

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