CHAPTER NINETEEN
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NIKOLAI WAS TOO HAPPY FOR SOMEONE GOING INTO BATTLE. Did he care? Not at all. Being happy was healthy and a healthy leader made for a great leader.

Morana wanted to stay. He was sure of it. Morana loved him. He could die just to hear those words out of her lips again.

Leaving his bed that morning had been absolute torture. Getting dressed had been the hardest task of his life. But they did it with giddy smiles on their faces, with thieving hands yearning for more of the night prior, with stolen kisses until they had to finally leave the haven that had been his room, and face what was to come.

And still, as he spoke to Alina, charting out their next move, Nikolai was half focusing on keeping the stupid grin off his face, because Morana loved him. And she was staying.

And certainly not as his mistress.

He'd been honest when he said his devotion lay with Ravka and his future wife. Now, managing to convince Morana she'd look gorgeous with a ring on her finger and a crown on her head would be a challenge—but the hard part was done, she was staying, even if she hadn't outright said it.

"All forces can be put on Kirigan at Keramzin. We catch them off guard," Nikolai said as he tried to focus on saving his country instead of Morana and her devastating smile. But it seemed his head wasn't the only one not in the room and he frowned as he saw Alina looking at the table in the war room like she wasn't even there. "Alina? Alina? Have you heard a word I said about—"

"Sending our strongest units to defend the orphanage," interrupted Alina with a nod, her jaw set, but her hands shaking slightly.

"The First Army's been trying to find it for months," replied Nikolai, "We have the advantage of an aerial approach to catch them off guard."

She shook her head. "We know what the nichevo'ya are capable of and there's no sign of the Crows or the Shadow Blade. I'll go alone."

Nikolai's brows raised in the slightest. What? "Which is exactly what he'd want. Why else would he choose Keramzin? He knows your weaknesses—"

"And I know his," said Alina fiercely, glaring at nothing in particular. "Eventually he'll trust me enough to let me close and then I can kill him. No one else needs to be sacrificed for this to end."

Nikolai took a deep breath and shook his head. "Going alone? You know that's not the right call. So where's this coming from?"

Alina let out a ragged breath, her lip quivering as she spoke, "The truth is, we can save every child from Keramzin. Except one. The one who found me all those years ago. Long before I knew I was a Summoner and he was... an amplifier."

"What do you mean?" said Nikolai, and suddenly the way Morana was looking at Mal when they'd arrived yesterday, the way she was looking at him like she was grieving, made sense. But it couldn't be—

"It's Mal," said Alina quietly. "He's the Firebird."

Nikolai's breathing hitched. "That's not... I'm sorry, Alina."

Alina let out a sob, closing her eyes tightly and Nikolai fumbled with what to do, settling on tugging her close and hugging her to him as Alina gathered herself. Finally, she stopped shaking and pulled away, wiping away her tears.

"If only I had stopped. I was so driven by power."

"You couldn't have known it was him."

"I was warned that there would be consequences. I just... I never thought it would... It'd be him," she said, sniffling as she wiped away another tear. "I was such a fool."

Nikolai was starting to feel extremely guilty for being so happy that morning. Especially as he saw Alina blink away tears and clench her jaw, trying to not seem weak. "Alina—"

"We can figure out the Fold later," she said. "First, we must deal with our immediate problem. All forces can be put on Kirigan at Keramzin."

Nikolai nodded. He hesitated with his next words but if didn't speak them now he didn't know when he'd be able to. "Alina, as long as I remain king, you'll always have a place as the General of the Second Army, but—"

"You can't marry me," finished Alina with the smallest smile she could muster, nodding in understanding. "I know, Nikolai."

"It's not exactly the right time for this talk," he said gently, and Alina let out a small laugh, and even though it didn't quite reach her eyes Nikolai knew the end of the engagement was far from the reason she was in such despair. He couldn't imagine the possibility of Morana dying; it was the last thing he'd like to think about.

"Promise me, Nikolai," said Alina, "that you will survive this battle. One of us has to. And... Morana needs you in her life. You need her too."

Nikolai was about to answer when there was a knock on the door and it opened, Dominik walked in, "Apologies. Didn't mean to disturb."

"Not at all," said Nikolai waving him off, "Come in. Do we have news from the front?"

"Kirigan's forces have fortified their hold at Keramzin," said Dominik.

"We must act. Quickly," said Alina, and Nikolai nodded, giving her a smile before leaving the room with Dominik and venturing into the halls.

They were nearing the exit so they could walk outside when Morana walked through the doors, decked in her usual pirate attire, trousers tucked into her boots that went all the way to her thighs, a corset over a white shirt and after last night Nikolai had never thought about ripping that corset off her more. His compass was hanging from her neck and she looked up surprised as she saw both of them walking down the hall.

She nodded politely at Dominik and then at him, a little smile playing on her lips, "Moi tsar, have you seen Alina?"

Nikolai was well aware of the fact Dominik was watching their every movement with blatant curiosity and amusement, but he did not care in the slightest. He grinned at Morana. "I'm not exactly king yet, darling."

"No?" she feigned surprise. "Well, I must've mistaken your ego for a crown, Captain."

Dominik let out a choked sound, mixed between a surprised gasp and a laugh and Nikolai smiled in amusement before turning to Morana again. "Alina's in the war room, Morana."

"Thank you," she said before biting down a smile as she walked around them and down the hall, and Nikolai's neck nearly broke as he turned to watch her go, the sway of her hips, her braided hair tied in a scarlet ribbon that had the unfortunate effect of making him want to untie it.

Dominik called his name, clearing his throat and Nikolai turned to him with a grin, clapping his shoulder as they made their way outside.

"You are aware you're engaged, yes?" said Dominik lowly as they walked, the sun shining brightly above them, soldiers preparing for battle around them.

Nikolai smiled a smile that verged on a grimace. He cleared his throat, and ran a hand through his head before he spoke, spoke words he'd have to tell the entire kingdom. "The Sun Summoner means as much to me as every hopeful soul in Ravka, but I can't marry her."

"Not with the way you looked at the pirate," said Dominik with a snort. "When was the last time you parted with your compass?"

"When she stole it from me a few months ago," said Nikolai swiftly before adding more seriously, "Alina will remain under the protection of the crown, as the General of the Second Army. But I intend on making Morana my Queen, and you'll see, she'll take us out of the shadows."

"If she can make you smile in a day of battle," said Dominik, putting his hand on Nikolai's shoulder, "That's all that matters. You inspire people, Nikolai—" Dominik stopped for a moment, as they reached a group of soldiers, "Vasov, Illieva, Romenko," he called out, "We'll need you with us."

All three of them replied with Yes, sir, and then Dominik spoke again as they continued their way through the gravel ground, "You remember the first day you took a bullet in battle? Got you right here." He pointed at his shoulder and Nikolai smirked.

"A little to the left and we wouldn't have the pleasure of this exchange."

Dominik nodded, "That was the day I knew for certain you would be a great king."

"Why?"

"Because you never gave up hope. You kept on making your little jokes," said Dominik, "That's what Ravka deserves."

"A king who won't shut up?" Nikolai let out a scoff-like laugh.

"A king who will rule out of hope for something better," he replied seriously and Nikolai nodded. "And you need someone to give you hope, so you can give the country what it needs."

Nikolai smiled tightly, but he knew Dominik was right. Morana did give him hope. She managed to lessen the burden of the world on his shoulders, she managed to make a war seem like an inconvenience and not a catastrophe. She'd make a great Queen, and rule by his side because he was sure she wouldn't sit idly by. And he didn't want her to, either. Morana was dawn, and she'd help him take Ravka out of the night, into a brighter day.

His eyes caught a head of buzzed hair walking up the stairs to his flying ship and Nikolai excused himself from Dominik, taking his hat off his head as he followed Mal. As soon as he got to the deck of the ship, Nikolai made his presence known. "Are you so eager for battle that you're already claiming your spot?"

Mal's head snapped to his, his jaw tight. "Just caught me in thought," he muttered as Nikolai walked closer to him until he stood by his side, eyes roaming the Ravkan landscape. After a few moments of silence, Mal released a shaky breath, "Did she tell you, then?"

"She did," replied Nikolai, nodding. He turned to Mal, placing a hand on the tracker's shoulder and Mal looked at him with a frown on his lips. Nikolai pulled him for a brief hug, and as they pulled away Mal nodded thankfully. And Nikolai was particularly proud of himself for how well he managed to comfort people in a day.

He took a shaky breath. "It's funny," said Mal, "Years, I was a soldier. I thought I'd die in some trench mud. And then Alina and I got out. Then I met you—"Mal paused, giving him a once over, "—Well, not you. Sturmhond. And for the very first time, I thought, This is the life. Not waiting for a Fjerdan bullet to find your spleen."

With a small smile, Nikolai nodded, "I'm glad you had a taste of it. However short."

"I've never envied a Saints-forsaken thing. I envy Sturmhond's life. His freedom."

Nikolai understood. He loved his life as Sturmhond. Being able to sail through the True Sea with no real responsibility or duties to a whole nation. Being able to forget the turmoil of his life as Nikolai Lantsov. The bastard prince. His dead sister. His neglectful parents. His bastard of a brother.

Yet, he was Nikolai Lantsov and he couldn't leave his country behind. His sister was alive and well—at least he hoped she was, but Kira always had a knack for getting out of trouble—his brother was dead; his parents had no rule over his life anymore, over his self; and the bastard prince had found his poison. He may have responsibilities, and duties he could not shirk, but Nikolai Lantsov had a talent for making the most out of life, and he would do that for him. For Ravka. For Mora.

Nikolai turned to Mal as he cleared his throat as if he was trying to get out of his head. He set his jaw as he spoke, "Instead, my path was always set. But it's what must happen. If Alina doesn't seize the chance—"

"Are you sure there's no other way?"

"No. I've got a plan. I just—When it's finally done, and I'm gone—"

"Mal—"

"No, listen to me, please. When I'm gone, she'll need her family to stand by her side. You, Mora, Genya, Nadia. Stand by her—"

"I will use the full powers of the Crown to ensure she is protected," said Nikolai genuinely, he might not be marrying Alina but she was his friend. His family even. And he wouldn't abandon his favorite sunbeam. Morana might even kill him if he thought about it.

Mal nodded, gratefully.

•••

Nikolai and Mal slipped inside the war room as they heard Alina speak. Mal closed the door behind them as Nikolai came to stand beside Morana who was standing next to Alina, arms crossed in front of herself, lips pursed as she looked down at the map on the table. She glanced up at him and gave him the smallest of smiles before turning to Alina again.

"We'll be sending a blended battle unit with the First Army to Keramzin," said the Sun Summoner, "to protect the orphanage from the Darkling's forces. Thanks to Nikolai and his second flying ship, they will not see us coming. Now our target is Kirigan, but do not underestimate the ways in which he would've poisoned the minds of our fellow Grisha. Now—"

"Alina," Mal interrupted, speaking up from beside Nikolai. "If I may propose an alternative front for the two of us."

"What do you mean?" asked Alina, her back straightening, as Mal walked to her side causing Morana to step closer to Nikolai to give them space.

"The Darkling expects to face you at Keramzin," said Mal.

"Yes, but—"

"So we're going to the Fold. Just the two of us. Destroy it while Nikolai and the others take out Kirigan's army."

Alina glared at the tracker. "Stop it, Mal."

"But without the final amplifier, how?" asked Genya from Alina's other side.

Nikolai saw as Morana's lips pressed into a thin line, how Mal stood up taller ready to direct the room, and the panic in Alina's eyes as she begged him to stop, "Mal, don't. Please."

Mal ignored her, only sparing her a small reassuring smile as he turned to the room again. "The last amplifier is a bloodline... My bloodline."

The room went quiet, and Nikolai felt Morana grab his hand, their locked fingers hidden behind her body, and as he looked down Nikolai saw the swirls of light and shadows dancing around her fingers. He ran his thumb along the back of her hand. He lifted his head just as Genya tried to approach Alina but the girl stepped back.

"No." Alina shook her head.

"Alina," said Nikolai, his voice weighed down by the subject at hand, by the look of pure despair in Alina's eyes, and still she shook her head.

"I said no! I have a say in this, too. There has to be another way—"

"And if we all go for Kirigan instead?" interrupted Mal. "There's no sign of the Crows. We can't fight those monsters without the blade. And if anything happens to you, the Fold remains. He wins."

"Morana can fight them," Alina said desperately and Morana stiffened beside him as all eyes turned to her.

"Alina," she said hesitantly, "I can fight one. Two at most. But with the Fold and the nichevo'ya. And Mal... I can't balance the shadows long enough to save us all. The Darkling must die."

Mal nodded. "He came to me in a dream. Maybe the same ones you were having. In the dream, he knew. He knew who I am. If he knows, if it's real, we're running out of time."

"I will not kill you. I won't do it."

Tamar cleared her throat, and everyone's head snapped to hers. "If a Heartrender stopped Mal's heart for two minutes, could you do what you needed to do, Alina?"

"Sorry, what?" asked Alina.

"I... I could kill him and bring him back after two minutes. No longer. Will that be enough time to bring down the Fold?"

"I could help," Morana added and again the room turned to her. She released his hand as she took a step towards Alina and all Nikolai wanted was to pull her back. "I can try and... amplify Mal. So you can actually destroy the Fold in two minutes."

"You want to amplify an amplifier?" asked David and Morana nodded.

"My powers are... complicated. But Mal and I share a link. If I can call upon it, call upon the merzost in his blood... perhaps I can intensify it."

Alina nodded, "That might just work."

"Alina. You know how this works," said Mal, "There won't be enough time to join my finger bone—"

"Actually..." said David. "I could process a fragment of Mal's bone and fuse it with your—Well, fuse it with you. Like we did with the Stag. Remember? Of course, you remember. If we did this before you went into the Fold, theoretically, once your heart stopped, the amplification would commence."

Again Alina nodded. Again Nikolai didn't have much say in the matter, not being an expert in Grisha and all, but trusting that they did. "Yes," said Alina. "This is our solution."

"Sounds completely mad." Nikolai grinned. "I like it."

"You have to be the one to kill me or it doesn't work," argued Mal but Alina was already shaking her head.

"We try this first, trust me. And if it doesn't work, then..." Alina didn't dare finish her sentence. She turned to Morana, Tamar, and David. "Thank you." Then her eyes fell upon him and Nikolai rose an eyebrow. "Can Tamar accompany us?"

He scoffed, amused. "Tamar makes her own decisions. Dominik and I will leave for Keramzin immediately. Adrik, Nadia, you're with us."

With that, Nikolai left the room, and Dominik, Adrik, and Nadia followed after him. Only as he was walking he heard his name being called by someone, and by someone, he meant his everything. Nikolai told the others to keep going, that he would be shortly with them, and turned around smiling as she walked towards him; before she could even get a word out Nikolai pulled her to the next room over, closing the door and pressing her to it as he crashed his lips to hers.

Morana sighed into his lips pulling him closer for a second before pulling away and looking up at him breathlessly, a smile on her face. "Good luck kiss?"

"No, I love you kiss," he answered with a grin and pressed his lips to hers again, for a mere moment, "That's the good luck kiss."

"Good, because if you die I'll kill you."

"You're so sweet, Mora," he said, voice dripping with sarcasm and she smiled.

"Sweet like poison."

"My favorite," he replied before swooping down to steal another kiss, to feel her lips one last time before he had to go. He sighed, pressing his forehead against hers. "Are you sure you can do it? Amplify Mal?"

"Since when do you doubt me, scourge?"

Nikolai smiled. "I don't. I just don't want to see you get hurt. If it's not balanced merzost it could be dangerous for you—"

"Tearing down the Fold will be balance enough," she said. "Say hi to my father for me?"

The laugh that left his lips was impossible to stop. "I thought the Crimson Mirage was born out of the depth of the True Sea, to witches and sirens and the corpses of pirates."

"Where did you hear that, privateer?" she asked, amused, "Only pirates know that."

"Well, I might be in love with one."

"Might be?"

"It would be scandalous if I actually was," he said with a grin and Morana smiled slyly, grabbing his collar and crashing her lips to his.

"Good thing you have a taste for chaos," she whispered against his lips.

"And a gift for order," he added. "I'll be a king in love with a pirate any day."

"Every day."

"Now you're just trying to make me blush, Mora," said with a teasing smile and she playfully glared at him.

"You're a wanker."

"I thought you didn't keep track of the wankers you met in your life."

"Just one. He's the King of Ravka. A rather important wanker."

"Do you love him?" he asked, and Morana's lips broke into a smile, a breathtaking smile, that had him wishing they didn't have to leave in the next minute and join the battle. That had him wishing he could just hit the Darkling over the head with his crown and be done with it.

"He's home," she said, kissing him again and when she pulled away, opening the door behind them, she turned to him again, placing one last kiss on his lips, "I love you."

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