a/n: hey i got a new job so i have been very busy. i have also been in a weird headspace the past couple of weeks but i feel like i am finally beginning to feel better. i saw Harry on n1 at MSG and here are so pictures i took. anyway, here is dawnrry <3

     It was around eight when there was a knock on the door.  I knew who it was.  There was no one else it could have been at this hour.  Johnny and Jules asked if it was their parents, but I shook my head no, glancing out the peephole to see him standing there.  He was still wearing the same outfit from earlier, and I didn't understand how he looked so good any time I saw him.  It didn't matter what time of day, he just always looked so put together.  Though, I noticed he was wearing a pair of glasses, my eyebrows pulling in briefly. After another moment, I pulled the door open, Harry looking timid, though Jules almost immediately was running to him and holding her arms out for him to pick her up.

"Uncle Harry!"

"Hi, pretty girl," he said, scooping her up in his arms and walking into the house as I shut and locked the door behind him.  "How are you?"

"So good! I missed you," she giggled, playing with his hair and glasses.  "Are these real?"

"Yeah, my eyes hurt," he chuckled.  "I have to wear them sometimes."

I didn't know he wore glasses.  Or, maybe I did know he wore them.  I was almost positive he had worn them with me the first time he came to babysit.  Better yet, though, did that mean he wore contacts? It was confusing to me, Jules taking them off of his face and putting them on.  She quickly took them off though, saying she couldn't see right out of them and it made him laugh softly.  He put them back on, sitting on the sofa with Jules before Johnny ran over to the sofa from the floor and immediately climbed up so he could sit with Harry also.

I was glad that I wasn't irritated with Harry anymore, but I was jealous of him.  After all, even if Jules and Johnny liked me, I felt as if they liked Harry better.  Telling them I was going to get up and use the bathroom, I found myself walking to the restroom.  It took me a little longer than normal considering my current situation that I had to deal with, however, I was thankful that Harry was here to at least watch the kids.  I knew that they would be fine by themselves for a few minutes, but it just made me feel a little bit better anyway.

Once I was finished, I washed my hands before exiting the bathroom.  The kids were talking, and I could tell that they were in Jules' room now instead of the living room.  Harry was sitting on the floor with them, the curly-haired personality looking amused as he played with the cars that Johnny was giving him to look at.  It tugged at my heart strings to see him laughing with them, Jules trying to sit in his lap as she showed him the Barbie dolls that she had.  Though, he must have felt me staring at him because he glanced up, my cheeks flushing when he caught me.

"C'mere," he murmured, patting the ground beside him.

I sighed, walking over to where he was sitting on the floor so that I could sit with him.  He smiled at me, my cheeks flushing when he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into his side.  A part of me wanted to be angry with him still, but I knew it was because I normally wanted to stay guarded after everything that happened in the past.

"Aunt Maggie, Uncle Harry said his favorite Barbie is this one with the brown hair because it looks like you."

"I did not say that," Harry laughed, looking at Jules as she giggled and stared up at him.  "You're making stories up, little girl."

"I'm not little!" she shouted, standing up and showing off the Barbie doll.  "It does look like Aunt Maggie though!"

The Barbie had a resemblance of me, but I figured it had something to do with my hair being curly the same way the Barbie's was as well.  Harry shook his head as he laughed at Jules, who was now trying to play with Johnny and his cars while Harry continued to keep his arm around me, my head resting against his chest.

"Do you think it looks like me?" I asked him.

"Not a chance.  You're way prettier."

"Stop," I laughed.

"No, sorry."

I smiled at him, shaking my head.  We watched Johnny and Jules play for a while, Harry playing with my hair until Johnny ran over to Harry because the car he was playing with broke.  It was clear that it was upsetting to the little boy, Johnny frowning as Harry took the car from him.

"D-Daddy bought this for me."

"I'll fix it," Harry assured.

Johnny frowned still, the little boy sitting with Harry while the curly-haired personality attempted to fix the toy car.  A wheel had popped off, so it wasn't anything unmanageable, Jules glancing over every now and again to see what was happening before she went back to playing with her toys.  And, soon enough Harry had fixed the car, Johnny standing up and hugging Harry tightly.  It was obvious Harry wasn't prepared for the touch by the way his eyes widened, his body tensing the same way it had when Jules had been sitting with him earlier.  Soon enough, though, Harry pushed through his emotions as he wrapped his arms around the little boy. 

"Thank you, Uncle Harry," Johnny said quietly.

"Of course.  You guys can play for a few more minutes and then we have to get you ready for bed."

They both agreed softly, leaving me to get up from the floor.  Though, I felt Harry grab my hand, his eyes searching mine.  It was obvious he was confused, and I just smiled at him, shaking my head.

"I'm going to go start the bath."

"Right," he nodded.  "I'll get their clothes."

It was easy with him, Harry quickly standing up.  I blushed when he placed a quick kiss to my temple.  It was sweet, a small grin on his face.  He started picking out their clothes while I went to the bathroom to start the bath, allowing the water to warm up some before I plugged the drain.  It wasn't long until Jules came into the bathroom, leaving me to help her wash up for bed before I carried her to her bedroom and left Harry to handle Johnny.  After I had put Jules to bed, she asked me to get Harry, leaving me to walk into Johnny's room as Harry was putting a diaper on the little boy.

"Aunt Maggie! Do you like my diaper? Uncle Harry picked Mickey jammies!"

"So cool," I told him, grabbing the shirt off the table.  "Can you let Uncle Harry say goodnight to your sister and then he'll come back?"

"Okay," Johnny nodded.

Harry smiled at me before going into Jules' bedroom, leaving me to finish Johnny's nightly routine.  Once I had laid him to bed, I kissed his forehead, reading a book to him quietly when Harry came back into the room.  He sat on the floor watching me as I sat in bed with Johnny.  The little boy yawned, cuddling with his stuffed animal as he continued to listen to me read the story.  After a few more minutes, he fell asleep, my fingers brushing through his hair.  He was so sweet, and I hoped that if I were to ever have kids one day they would be as good as Jules and Johnny.  Though, I was so distracted by Johnny that I didn't see Harry stand up, my cheeks flushing when he scooped me up into his arms as I held the book I had just finished reading to Johnny in my arms.

"What are you doing?"

"Shh."

"Har."

He walked with me into the hallway, my cheeks flushing when he walked me out into the living room.  I smiled when he sat down in the arm chair, allowing me to sit on his lap even though I still had a book in my arms.  He grabbed the remote, turning on the television.  I smiled at him, Harry wrapping his arms around me tightly.  I was surprised, my fingers beginning to play with his hair.

"You feeling okay?" I asked softly.

He shrugged.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he murmured.

"You're upset," I said to him softly.

"I just have a lot going on in my head," he said quietly.

"Yeah, but you don't like holding me like this often.  What is it?"

He shook his head.  I placed the book I was holding on the table behind me, Harry allowing me to pull his head against my chest.  He was clearly upset, and I sighed softly, pulling his glasses off of his face and setting them behind me as well.  He was upset, but I could tell he was holding it in.  His jaw was tight, his breathing was labored, and he was squeezing his eyes shut.  My fingers brushed through his hair, and I frowned, not knowing what was wrong exactly but knowing that I felt bad.

"Baby," I said softly.

"Fuck," he murmured.

He broke down in my arms, my hands pressing his face against me gently.  I was sad for him now, realizing that he was truly upset and I had no idea why.  He cried into my chest softly, clearly unhappy and I understood that he felt safe with me.  Even if he had been my strong person yesterday, he was someone I needed to take care of now.  I wanted him to be comfortable, happy, and safe with me.  It was something that I knew he needed.  He had never really been nurtured properly, and the fact that he felt genuinely safe with me made me feel like he actually trusted me.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

He shook his head.

"Harry.  Honey.  Hey."

He still shook his head, a sigh leaving my lips as I let him cry to me.  It wasn't loud gasps for air, but instead soft cries and I wondered what he was upset about.  I wanted an insight into his mind, but I knew that wouldn't happen.  It took a little while, but eventually I got him to calm down, my fingers still playing with his hair as he cuddled into me.  We didn't speak.  We were quiet, and the television was playing some movie that I watched for some time until I started to get sleepy, Harry glancing up at me when I yawned.

"Do you want to sleep?"

"I can't," I laughed softly.

"I'll stay up," he said quietly.  "Here, let me just..."

He adjusted my position so I was the one cuddling into his chest now, my cheeks flushing at our position.  Even before, I felt like I had been safe with him.  Now, I felt like I was safe, but I also felt like he was always trying to take care of me.  Or, he was almost all the time.  He reached over to the side table to grab his glasses, putting them back on as I got situated in his arms.  One of his hands shifted so that he was pressing it against my stomach, my body relaxing in a way that I didn't realize I needed to.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked.

"I'm good.  Your hand is like a heating pad, so that's nice."

"Get some sleep," he said softly.

"Harry."

"You're tired, doll.  I know you and your body.  I'll wake you up when Donna and Billy get home."

It was sweet that he wanted me to get rest when he knew my body was craving it.  After last night, I was pretty exhausted, my body shifting some so I could get more comfortable.  Harry chuckled, holding me close to him with one arm while the other rested on my stomach still.  We were both quiet, watching the movie still until I spoke.

"This is okay?" I asked.  "You feel okay? I know you don't like touch like this, and so I'm just—"

"Magdalina," he murmured, my eyes meeting his.  "I'm so good.  I want to take care of you, and protect you."

"My prince charming, is that right?" I smiled.

His cheeks flushed.  Again, we were both quiet for a few moments, Harry playing with my hair as my head rested against his chest.  He was taking care of me in a way that I knew was unfamiliar to him, and I appreciated it even more because of that.

"I missed you," he murmured.

"It wasn't that long," I said to him, but I knew it felt like forever for me too.

"It was way too long for my liking."

"You saw me at work."

"I assure you that was not nearly enough."

"Whatever."

"Not whatever," he said softly.  "I really messed up, okay? I won't get high like that around you again, I promise."

"Pinky?"

"Yes, of course."

He had never wrapped his pinky around mine faster—even when we had made a pinky promise earlier today—and I found myself holding onto his tightly.  He stamped his thumb, holding his lips against the pad of this thumb until I did the same.  It was followed by him pulling away, his lips pressing to my forehead.  They lingered for a moment before he pulled away, glancing down at me.  I frowned then, staring up at him.

"I know you aren't really upset with me much but I want you to know that I understand what I did was wrong, and I was being a dick to you because I'm not only stupid, but I just hated how you were being rude so I was being rude back.  It was not right of me.  I am not making an excuse, I'm just telling you what I did.  I'm sorry, I am."

My stomach was in knots as he spoke to me.  I felt sick knowing that he was desperate to apologize after I had pushed him from doing it last night, his voice even holding a sweet tone that I had never heard him use with me before.  Not to mention that he sounded genuine.  It was clear that he was not only actually upset, but I could even tell he was disappointed with what happened as well.

"You'll come spend the night with me?" I asked.  "I don't want to be in Donna's hair anymore, but I don't want to sleep alone at my house either."

"I thought you'd never ask."

He kept playing with my hair.  Even if he had allowed touch the previous evening, I knew that this was different still.  This felt nice, and safe.  He was doing this because he felt like it, not because he thought it was necessary.   Harry felt somewhat tense, but there was a part of him that seemed incredibly relieved, his lips pressing to my temple several times.

"Just tell me if I need to get up," I told him.

"I'm not letting you go."

"Har," I giggled.

"I missed you so much.  I missed you.  Please tell me not to fuck up like that again, I'm begging."

I pressed a kiss to his chin, Harry smiling down at me.  Even if I hadn't thought about a future with Harry much, this was the first time I was thinking about any sort of future with him.  The thought of us doing this for the rest of our lives was something stuck in my mind.  Not to mention I enjoyed seeing him around the kids and how he was so good with them.  It made me incredibly happy to think that maybe, just maybe, he was someone I could actually see a real future with.

•••

I was used to Donna and Billy staying out much later, but this week they decided to have a quick date night.  I wondered if it was because of everything going on, or if it was genuinely all that they needed to suffice their alone time.  However, it meant that Harry and I got back to my place at a somewhat decent time all things considered.  Donna had asked if I was certain if I wanted to go to my house, but I assured her that Harry was spending the night so I was sure that I would be fine there.  She seemed to understand, leaving Harry and I to make it back to my house around ten.

"Do you need anything?" he asked as we walked into my house together.

"I'm okay, just cramping."

"I can run a bath for you."

I shrugged.

"I'll sit with you."

"You would?" I asked sheepishly.  "I just don't want to be alone."

He knew I was nervous.  It was obvious, and I watched as he set his keys in the clay bowl, quickly shutting the door before locking it behind him.  My bag was placed on the ground, and I still wasn't looking at him, but I blushed when he walked toward me, his right hand gripping beneath my chin and tilting my head up.  For a moment, I still didn't look directly at him, but when he brushed his thumb along my lower lip, I quickly made eye contact, Harry smiling at me.

"I can come into the room after you get situated.  Sit next to the tub.  Talk with you.  Whatever makes you most comfortable."

"You'd really sit with me?" I asked.

"Of course."

"O-Okay."

He shook his head.  "Don't be nervous with me."

"I-I know, you're just ... you're you and I'm me."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" he questioned.

"You know," I said quietly, gesturing to him.

"Oh, my darling Magdalina," he chuckled.  "You must know you're my favorite, right?"

I shrugged.

"I think you're overthinking.  We can do whatever makes you feel comfortable.  Let me go get the bath started for you and you let me know what you want to do, okay?"

"Okay."

He pressed a kiss to my nose before stalking off to my bedroom, leaving me alone in the foyer.  I decided that I was feeling ice cream, so I quickly got a bowl out of the cabinet, pulling the ice cream out of the freezer.  Running the scooper under warm water, I scooped the ice cream into the bowl before putting the tub of ice cream away.  I could hear the bath running from here, but I just ate my ice cream.

Harry came out a few moments later, and before he could even say anything to me, I was holding out a spoonful to him.  He didn't even question, just ate the ice cream without any second thoughts at all.  Though, after I finished, he placed the bowl in the sink, taking my hand and leading me to the bathroom.  There were a few candles lit that he must have found under the sink, my cheeks flushing when I noticed all of the bubbles.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"I know, honey," I nodded, my cheeks flushing with the name I called him.  "Let me get situated and I—"

He wrapped his arms around me before I could finish.  It was startling at first, but I smiled, realizing that he truly must have missed me if he wanted to be this touchy with me.  Holding him tightly, I didn't let go.  I wanted to savor every moment that he allowed me to touch him considering that even if it was becoming far more, I still never knew if there was going to be a day when he didn't want me to touch him at all.  So, I took every form of contact as a time to hold him close and appreciate the moment.  Though, it wasn't until I felt him shudder slightly that I realized he was upset, Harry not letting me pull away some to look at him.

"Hey."

"H-Hold on."

"Oh, Har.  Oh, I'm so sorry."

He shrugged, but I was worried considering this was the second time tonight he was upset.

"Hey."

"I can't ..." he paused, as if to recollect his thoughts.  "You don't want to use me for sex.  You're the only one, and I-I go and put my hands on you, and I screamed at you, and I-I don't—fuck.  What i-if something happened? I-I wouldn't be able to l-live with myself."

He was crying, and I begged him to let me shut the tub off.  He let go for a second, his hands covering his face and his glasses pushed back on his head now.  I hugged him tightly after I shut the water off, his face quickly hiding in the crook of my neck once more.  I absolutely hated it when he got upset.  It was honestly the worst, and while I knew it meant that he could trust me, I didn't enjoy seeing him like this.  It was heartbreaking to think someone who was usually so in control of their emotions could hurt this way, my fingers playing with his hair at the nape of his neck.

"I-I can't lose you."

"You won't," I assured him.  "I'm yours, I'm yours, I'm yours."

I felt his nerves calm with the words, and he finally let me go on his own this time.  However, I watched as he wiped his eyes, his hair being pushed back since his glasses were still pushed back on top of his head.  I grabbed toilet tissue, smiling up at him as I wiped his nose for him.  It made him chuckle, Harry pressing a kiss to the top of my head before he left the room, shutting the door behind him.  It took me a while to get fully situated before I sat in the tub and got comfortable, leaving me to call Harry in.

He was quick to enter the bathroom, and I felt like he must have been standing on the other side of the door the whole time.  The thought of him anticipating my call was cute, and I watched as he quickly moved to sit beside the tub.  His back rested against the same wall that mine did, the only difference being that he was outside of the tub while I was sitting in it.  We were both quiet for a few moments, and I always wondered what was going on through his mind.  Though, it seemed he must have been reading my thoughts because he soon began to speak.

"You're so pretty," he murmured.

I blushed, looking away from him quickly.  He was almost always so kind to me, and I felt at home when he was around.  It was why I had felt comfortable enough to call him yesterday in a time of need.  He was my home, and even if it had been a short amount of time, it felt much, much longer.  I cared about this man, and it was terrifying to me after what had happened the last time I cared about someone.  But it was just that.  I cared about him.  More so than I had ever thought I could until he was here with me, but I was glad I was realizing it now.

"You feeling okay?" I asked.

"Just missed you a lot."

"Oh, I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to make you this nervous."

"Don't.  I did it to myself.  I just really like you."

I smiled at him when he said the words.  He held one of my hands, playing with each of my fingers.  I liked watching him gaze at my skin like I was the most interesting thing he had ever seen, knowing that no one had ever really treated me the way that he had.  Or, no one had when he was being nice.  I had been treated poorly in the past, but when he was sweet, it was in a way that I couldn't even fully put into words. 

"You're staying with me, right?" I asked.  "I-I don't want to be here alone."

"If you'll have me."

"Of course.  I think I'd feel unsafe if you didn't, to be honest."

He nodded.  We sat quietly for a while, my cheeks flushing when Harry moved so that his hands were resting on the tub, his chin resting on top of his hands.  He was looking at me like I was the prettiest thing ever, and I blushed, my fingers running over his face.  His eyes fluttered shut, but he let me trace his features.  I pushed his glasses up on his head again, Harry opening his eyes to look at me but I was too focused on how pretty he was, and his lips, and the way that he had the longest eyelashes I had ever seen on a man.

"What?"

"Nothing," I smiled.

"No?"

I glanced at him, his eyes already trained on me.  "No."

"You sin a lot with me," he smirked, my face burning up when he cupped my cheek with one of his hands.  "What are we going to do with you?"

"I'm not lying," I said softly.

"And I never said you were, but you implying that you thought that's what I would accuse you of makes me wonder..."

There was still a smirk plastered on his face and I knew he was always right.  Maybe I was lying.  Maybe there was a thought or two in my mind about him that I didn't want to utter.  But, I would rather him think I was just shy than tell him what I was really thinking about knowing damn well he wouldn't hesitate to try and make my thoughts a reality.  I smiled up at him.

"You're special to me," he said softly.  "More than anyone else."

"Harry?"

"Mhm?"

"I missed you," I said softly, staring down at the bubbles and swishing them around some.

"I know, doll, I missed you.  I could stare at you all day."

"You're just sappy."

"Sappy, you're pretty, who's to say?"

He sat up some, kneeling beside the tub as I looked at him.  I didn't know what to expect, but I blushed when he cupped my cheek with his right hand, my face burning under his touch even more when he leaned forward to kiss me.  Of course I gave in this time.  I missed the way his mouth felt on mine, how passionate he was when he kissed me.  He was almost always so perfect, and I could never get over the way that his mouth felt against mine.  I cupped his cheeks, Harry smiling through the kiss before pulling away.

"I'm going to basically have taken a bath also," he laughed, using his shirt to wipe his cheeks off.

"I just wanna hold you," I said quietly.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Mhm."

"Maybe we can work something out tonight," he said sweetly to me.  "But I know you don't feel that great."

I nodded, Harry tracing the features of my face now.  He brushed his index over my nose before he cupped my face once more, his thumb dancing along the apple of my cheek, my lips.  I was in awe with him, my hand resting over his as he looked at me.

"And when they put you in a gallery, what then?"

"Me?" I laughed.

"Yeah.  You're so pretty."

I shook my head no.  He leaned in to kiss me, my face burning as I grabbed onto his face.  He really was everything to me, and while I wanted to hate it I couldn't help but appreciate it.  Not everyday could you find someone who would treat you perfectly, but I had.  I mean, he had made a mistake, but I could tell he hadn't meant it.  Not after how he was treating me now.  When he pulled away from the kiss, I was blushing, Harry smiling at me.

It wasn't long until I said I was getting tired, Harry moving so he could unplug the drain.  He got up, walking over to the closet and grabbing a towel.  I watched as he shut his eyes, leaving me to stand up and step out of the tub.  Or, I more so stepped into him because there wasn't much room, Harry securing the towel around me before he opened his eyes to assess me.  I smiled when he kissed my face a bunch, his lips pressing to the hinge of my jaw a few times, though.

"I'll let you get all, um, figured out," he murmured.

It made me laugh but I thanked him. He left the room and I quickly did everything I needed to before wrapping the towel around me again and heading to the bedroom.  Harry had already undressed, his clothes neatly folded on the dresser.  However, he looked a little confused when he saw me, though his eyes widened.

"Oh, I completely forgot to give you clothes. I'm sorry, doll."

I didn't mind.  It wasn't like he did it on purpose.  Plus, I could have gotten myself clothes before I went into the bathroom with him and had also forgotten.  He was quick to open my dresser and grab underwear for me, followed by going into the closet to get a big T-shirt.  I liked that he knew my routine so well, his eyes focusing on me briefly.

"Anything else?"

"Can you, um..." I looked down quickly.

"Can I what?"

"You know."

"I am incredibly awful at reading you sometimes, and right now is one of those times," he told me.

"Will you help me get dressed?"

His cheeks were red.  They were so red, and I almost felt bad for asking.  Of course, I knew I had been intimate before with him, but this was asking more.  Even if he had been with me previously, I felt like there was something about this that was even more intimate.  I wanted to be vulnerable with him, but with his shyness, I felt nervous.

"Never mind, I can't bother—"

"Yes," he nodded.  "Yeah, sure."

He still looked nervous, but I smiled at him.  Harry cleared his throat, his eyes squeezing shut when I took my towel off.  It was funny, but I also thought it was incredibly sweet.  After all, he was always saying things, murmuring innuendos to me at times.  Yet, now that I was willing to show him every bit of me, he was shy.

"Hey."

"I just want to be respectful," he murmured.

"And I adore you for that," I nodded, cupping his cheek.  "I mean—"

"I adore you," he nodded.

It was not the words I expected to exchange with him, but I smiled up at him.  He did look at me, his eyes trailing my body in the dark twice the way that they always did before he tugged the shirt in his hands over me.  I swallowed hard, watching as he grabbed underwear for me.  He let me hold his shoulders as I stepped into the garment, Harry tugging them up my legs and making sure that they were on properly. 

I was still holding onto his shoulders, my face burning when I realized that he was still wearing his glasses.  He shifted his hand to brush along my stomach, Harry watching my reaction.  I was definitely cramping more than I wanted to be right now, Harry's hand feeling like a small heating pad on my body.  I watched as he spun me around, Harry pulling my back against his front before placing both hands on my stomach as we faced my dresser, the mirror obvious as it was in front of us.

"That's my pretty girl," he spoke to me softly.  "She's probably still a little upset with me, but I care about her so very much."

"I care about you," I told him quietly.

"Someone has to.  It sure as hell isn't me."

I sighed softly, trying to turn around in his hold but he didn't allow it.  He was holding onto me tightly now, making sure that I was facing the mirror with him right behind me.  I wanted to look at him, kiss him, tell him that he was cared for by me even at times when I was angry with him.  The past couple days could have been worse, but they also could have been better without a doubt.

"I care about you, Harry."

It was when I said that his arms loosened from around my body completely.  His sudden lack of touch left me breathless the way that it almost always did.  It didn't make sense, but I knew he was confusing.  I watched as he grabbed my towel off the floor, walking into the bathroom to hang it up.  He shut the door and I figured he was using the bathroom, leaving me to fold down the bed for us.  I grunted softly at the sharp pain in my stomach when I leaned forward to grab the pillows, but I just worked through it, placing the decorative ones on the floor then. 

It wasn't long until I heard the toilet flush, followed by the sink turning on.  Once I was fully done with undressing the bed, I went out to my kitchen, opening the fridge and staring at the options.  I wasn't starving, but I was pretty sure I wanted a snack even if I had ice cream before my bath.  Though I jumped when I heard someone clear their throat from behind me, Harry chuckling when I looked back to see him.

"Can I fix you something, doll?"

"I'm just hungry but I don't want my stomach to hurt more."

"What do you want?" he asked sweetly, moving to stand with me in front of the fridge.  "We can have a sandwich, or I can cut up an apple for you and get some peanut butter, or I'll even make you some mac and cheese at this hour if you really want it."

"Wait, would you?" I asked him.

"Whatever you want, it's yours."

"It's nearly eleven, though, I—"

He started to grab a pot from under the counter before I could say anything else.  I watched as he filled it with water, leaving me to grab the mac and cheese box from the pantry.  Once the water was filled up, he placed it on the stove, adding salt to the water before turning on the stove top.  I looked up at him, Harry shaking his head before he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me into his side.

"The things you do for people you care about, right?"

"I'd do anything for you," I told him quietly.

"Anything, huh?"

"With reason," I nodded.  "Like my stomach might hurt but if you wanted me on my knees, I'd—"

"The only reason I'd want to see you on your knees tonight is if you're by the side of your bed praying.  You will not be taking me down your throat, especially not when I've been a piece of shit."

I blushed at the softness in his words that eventually turned vulgar.  He let me kiss his chest, Harry playing with my hair as we waited for the water to boil.  I'd never felt so cared for by one person before, and I knew he really was sorry for what had happened.  Even if he had been scary, I was sure it was the drugs that had made him that way because he was always so sweet to me without them.  Not to mention that if he hadn't been a total dick I might have been dead.

My lips pressed along the swallows that flew just beneath his collarbones, Harry smiling down at me.  He was so handsome, and I liked the glasses on him more than I should have but he could pull absolutely anything off and it was so very apparent.  I smiled at him, my hands brushing over his chest lightly before I wrapped my arms around him.

"Did you take your medicine today?"

"Mhm."

"I can tell."

"I know," he nodded.  "I just hate taking it.  I feel so ... it makes me feel like I'm actually sick."

"I took medicine for a while," I told him softly.  "Like, I take my birth control but that's not what I'm talking about, Harry.  There was a point that I was prescribed antidepressants.  I kept it hush hush because I didn't want it really getting out, but they helped me feel better for that point in my life, you know?"

"You were depressed?" he asked quietly.  "What did you take? I was on Wellbutrin."

"Wait, same," I smiled, Harry grinning at me.

"Bonding over being sad, how cool is that?" he chuckled, leaning down to kiss the hinge of my jaw.  "You're better now? I still have my bad days to be honest."

"I mean, I can have my bad days," I shrugged.  "It just depends.  I get sad around now, like when I'm on my period but I think it's because I feel so gross."

"I think you couldn't be gross if you tried," he said to me sweetly.  "And if you are sad at all I need you to call me.  I know we're supposed to spend the weekend together, if you still want, but you can always call me.  I don't want another episode of you having a bruise all over your hip, you know?"

"I know, I know," I nodded, cupping his cheeks.  "You're too good to me."

"I'm just the right amount of good."

We both smiled, Harry opening the pasta and telling me he could work just fine if I still held onto him.  I didn't even think of letting go then, hearing him fumble around with the box of mac and cheese before I heard him dump the pasta into the water.  It started boiling pretty quickly so he lowered the temperature before his arms were securing around me again, Harry pressing several kisses to the top of my head.

"I missed you," he murmured.  "I hated it.  I was miserable."

"You must really like me."

"Be serious," he stated, and I laughed before looking up at him.  "I was trying so hard at the station and you just kept blowing me off and you kept throwing the flowers I got you in the trash.  If I was a Mario game, I probably died like eighty times and I had extra lives."

It made me laugh.  "I'm so sorry I bruised your ego."

He shrugged.  "It wasn't even that.  I called like three times on Monday but you didn't answer."

My eyebrows tugged in as he shifted to stir the pasta.  I could see the drop in his face, the way that he was upset now.  My lips pressed to his jaw, but he even shifted away some.  It was confusing, and I found myself waiting until he was done stirring the pasta to try and pry.

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Har," I tried again.

"No."

He was visibly uncomfortable, and I found myself letting go because I thought it was what he would have wanted but his eyes widened and he was quickly pulling me back to him.  It was like he was worried I was going to go somewhere again, and I found myself wrapping one of my arms around him while the other rubbed gentle patterns into his chest.

"It's okay," I assured.

"You—I needed you but I was a dick."

Needed me? He had needed me and I wasn't there.  Even if he had been a piece of shit to me, I felt awful knowing that he had called me three times and I hadn't answered simply because I was mad at him.  What if it was important? Or, actually, it seemed like it was very important and I had just blown it off.

"I'm so sorry," I said to him.

"N-No, it's fine," he said shakily, but I knew then that it wasn't fine.  "I-I worked through it."

He was focusing really hard on the pasta, and I found myself still rubbing his chest.  His breathing was harsher, and I could tell by the way his lips were parted and the way he was pressing his tongue against the roof of his mouth he was trying to hold back tears. 

"Let it out," I said quietly.

"No.  I'm making you m-mac and cheese."

"Harry."

"Let me just take care of you, p-please."

There were a few tears that fell, and I frowned, watching as he looked embarrassed about it.  I could tell that he hated crying in front of me, knowing that he had mentioned he felt small at times with me and I didn't want him to feel small.  Pushing his glasses up, I wiped his tears away with my thumbs, Harry sighing loudly.

"It's okay," I told him.

"It's not.  I look like a fucking child, I—"

"You feel so safe with me to do this," I reminded him softly, getting him to look at me.  "Do you know what that means to me?"

He shook his head no.

"It means so much.  I want you to feel safe with me the way I do when I'm with you.  Do you know how many times I begged for Timothy to make me something when I felt like shit and only ten percent of the time he listened? I didn't even have to ask you to make this for me, you volunteered.  You are always trying with me, and I really do appreciate it, Harry."

"I feel so small."

"I know, honey," I nodded, kissing his cheeks.  "But you're not.  Are you upset about what you were on Monday?"

He shrugged.  I could tell he hated it.  He didn't like that he felt like this and I wanted to help in any way that I could.  I was going to say something but he told me to move so he could drain the water.  It left me to turn the stove off as he grabbed a colander and then dumped the noodles into it.  Harry set the pot on a pot holder before placing the noodles back in the pot.  I watched as he grabbed butter and milk, adding the right amount along with the cheese packet before adding extra shredded cheese. 

"How much do you want?" he asked.

"A little is fine."

He grabbed a bowl, putting a cup of the pasta into my bowl before he sat with me.  I realized he must have been pretty upset if he didn't want a bowl himself, Harry sitting with me at the counter.  He watched me through his glasses, green eyes dancing over my every move.  Though, I found myself holding out a bite to him, Harry quickly eating off of my fork before I continued eating again.

"Harry?"

"Mhm."

"Can we cuddle tonight?"

"Yeah.  I know you don't feel good."

"Okay.  I just ... I wanted to make sure, you know? Since you're upset."

"I'm good."

"But if you're upset, can you tell—?"

"Let me take care of you, hmm?"

I nodded, continuing to eat my food even though he had changed the subject yet again.  He was staring at me, looking like he was very happy with me, though.  It made my heart pound, but I tried to just focus on my food, trying to give Harry a bite of the macaroni and cheese every now and again.  Once it was finished, he asked if I wanted anymore.  When I said no, he took my plate before I even thought about moving, Harry cleaning up the kitchen.  He was washing dishes with both hands, my eyes narrowing when I realized that he no longer had stitches in the palm of his left hand.

"When did these come out?" I asked, grabbing his hand as he was in the middle of cleaning my bowl.

"That's fine, I wasn't using that or anything."

I gave him an irritated glance, Harry chuckling softly.  He pressed a kiss to my cheek before I traced my index over the scar.  It was a horizontal line right down the middle of his palm, Harry clearing his throat.  I let go, watching as he finished the dishes.  He still hadn't answered my question, so I found myself asking him once more.

"When did these come out?"

"Monday."

My eyes widened.  "Was that why you called me?"

"No," he chuckled, shaking his head.  "I had a lot going on mentally.  I wasn't in a good spot, but it always works itself out."

He dried his hands off, and I watched as he went and grabbed two glasses.  It didn't take long for him to fill them with water, Harry drinking most of his in record time while I sipped mine.  We walked to my bedroom not much later, my glass still in my hand while my free hand held Harry's.  He was leading the way, pushing my bedroom door open and taking the glass from me.  I was confused at first, watching as he placed my drink on the night table next to his belongings before he picked me up, walking around the bed so he could set me on the side that I preferred when he slept over.

"You know I could have climbed into bed and gotten here myself," I laughed as he tucked me in. 

"I know.  But I wanted to make sure you were good, and taken care of, you know?"

I nodded.  "I'm sorry."

"For what, doll?"

"I just feel like I failed you," I told him.  "I promised you could come to me for anything and I wasn't there."

"You weren't there because I was a prick to you."

"But Harry—"

"But nothing," he murmured.  "We're so good.  I'm very happy when I'm with you."

It was incredibly nice to hear him say such comforting words.  Especially when I knew that he wasn't always so happy in general.  I knew he had a lot more going on than he was willing to show others.  He had basically put on an entire act, and while I knew he wasn't fully a different person now, pieces of him had started to unravel.  There was a softer side to the well spoken man.  A person who, when it came down to it, might have been putting on a show of sorts when it came to his actions.  But, it didn't mean I liked him anymore or any less.  I just appreciated that he felt comfortable enough showing me a side of him that I knew almost no one had seen.

"Can I get you anything?" he asked, sitting on the bed beside me.

"I'm okay."

"You're sure?"

"Mhm."

"Okay."

It didn't take him long to stand up, Harry shuffling around the bed so he could get in on his side.  I stayed in my spot, not wanting to be overbearing by moving close to him.  Instead, I noticed him shut the light off before there was some movement on the bed.  I could tell he was trying to get under the covers, a small smile on my face when I felt him pat the bed in a search for me before he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled my back against his front easily.  I felt cozy in his arms, knowing that he cared so very much for me.  Even if I had been pissed at him, he was proving that he really was sorry for what had happened.  The man who had hurt me over the weekend was not the same person lying behind me.  When Harry was high, he was a completely different person, and I was pretty sure that was why he had always said he hated getting high around me.  He was probably worried that what had happened on Saturday would take place the way that it did.

"Magdalina?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for letting me stay with you," he said quietly.

"I missed us together," I told him quietly.  "Sleeping without you is freezing, even in this Florida heat."

"Oh no," he murmured.  "I'm here to keep you warm now, don't you worry, darling."

He kissed the shell of my ear lightly, his hand resting on my stomach as his thumb traced back and forth along my skin.  I was exhausted at this point, and I found myself feeling incredibly relieved now.  I was tired, though, and I was thankful that I would actually sleep well with him here.  Not that I couldn't sleep without him, but I wouldn't wake up freezing, at least.

"Sweet dreams," he murmured.

"Sweet dreams.  I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, especially since you were there for me yesterday."

He chuckled softly.  "You can't always be there.  I also think it would be wrong to expect that from you."

I shrugged.  "I just feel bad."

"Don't," he said.  "Just don't worry about it.  I'm fine now, I worked it all out.  Get some rest, Magdalina."

I nodded, holding onto his arm that was wrapped around me.  Harry kissed the shell of my ear again, continuing to trace his thumb around my skin.  I could tell when he started drifting off because he would pause and then begin to brush his thumb along my flesh here and there until finally he didn't start again.  I could feel his breathing against my back, the steady rhythm calming to me.  It was always so interesting to me how quickly he could fall asleep when he had me with him.  I just also was happy that he felt safe enough to even fall asleep with me nearby.