By: [redacted] (I'm not telling you my real name)

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Most people don't know this, but long ago the universe you and I are familiar with didn't exist yet and there was another universe in its place. Humans never existed in this universe, instead birds were the ones that had become civilized. They would grow crops and set traps to make sure everyone had something to eat and they built houses befitting the type of bird that would reside within them. They made artificial bodies of water for the waterfowl and built intricate cities in the trees for birds of flight. In one of these cities there was a nest nestled in a hollow at the top of a tree. This nest belonged to one Ms. Maggie Corvidae. 

Ms. Maggie Corvidae was a respectable woman, she was happily married and had a wonderful child whom she loved with all her heart. Her life was peaceful, there was never too much excitement, and Ms Corvidae liked it that way.  So it remained until one fine summer morning. No, this morning was different and not in a good way. For you see, dear reader, upon this day tragedy struck poor Ms. Maggie Corvidae and her daughter Pica Pica. That morning Ms. Corvidae was awoken by the sound of crying. Pica tearfully explained to her mother that her daughter's beloved Ball of Fluff had been stolen. Long ago, Ms Corvidae had found the Ball of Fluff caught on a blackthorn plant when she had been building her nest. It was the first gift she had ever given Pica, and as such Pica treasured it as she treasured all gifts from her mother.

After Ms. Corvidae had recovered from the abrupt awakening and had comforted Pica, she decided to search the nest, assuming Pica had just misplaced the fluff. Her search did not yield results, however, and instead only raised more questions, for the shiny rock she had found the day prior was gone. This had greatly upset Ms. Corvidae as the rock was supposed to be a present for her husband Mr. Mudlark. (Ms. Corvidae had kept her maiden name as she refused to be called Mudlark.) He had been away on business overseeing the construction of a new lake, but he was coming back  the next day and Ms. Corvidae had wanted to celebrate. She wouldn't let herself dwell on her disappointment, though. Ms. Corvidae was a woman of action and would find her and her chick’s missing things.

She decided to ask the Daw-Corvidae’s for help. The  Daw-Corvidae’s were Ms Corvidae’s favorite people, she had been overjoyed when her favorite cousin and her best friend  had gotten married last spring. Her cousin Jay was a quiet bird, he was sometimes perceived as rude for his bluntness and misunderstanding of social cues, but he was extremely intelligent and was never tricked by anything.  Her best friend Jack was an extravert who loved to talk, he always had something to say, which wasn't to say he was bad at listening, however. He may not be as knowledgeable or perceptive as her cousin but he was excellent at reading what people were feeling and had the uncanny ability to maintain eye contact with the bird he was talking to regardless of what they were doing. Ms.  Corvidae  was certain that even if one were to wear a blindfold while talking to him he would still find a way to look them in the eyes. 

After they arrived Ms. Corvidae was quick to fill them in on her dilemma. They quickly agreed to help and began to search the nest for clues. Soon Ms.  Corvidae had to leave for work but Jack, Jay, and Pica continued their search. It was Jay who found their first clue, a black and white feather with a little bit of gray on it. It was well camouflaged against the rest of the black and white feathers in the nest, but nothing escaped Jay's attention and none of them had feathers that color. Upon closer inspection of the feather they found that it was uncharacteristically oily. They all agreed it must belong to a waterfowl of some sort. They were one step closer to finding their thief!  

They informed Ms. Corvidae of their findings when she arrived home, promised to continue their search the next day, and went home for the night. The next day they found that Mr. Mudlark had returned from his work and listened as he recounted what he had been doing while away. He told of an artificial body of water made for the blackheaded gulls. When he spoke of their odd “key-haw” kind of laugh, Pica was reminded of a dream she had had a few nights ago. She remembered hearing a similar-sounding laugh in her dream. When she told the adults this, it seemed to pique Jay's interest, a surprising thing  considering the fact that little interested the normally apathetic bird.  Jay asked her a few questions then said he had to go and practically pushed his husband out of the nest to get him moving.

Once they were out of the nest Jay explained to Jack that a gull must be the mysterious thief they were looking for. They just needed to find out which one and get proof of their crime. They flew to the closest body of water and Jack started to ask around. They soon came upon a black-headed gull that seemed suspicious to Jack. He didn't know what it was about the gull, but something felt off. Jack signaled to Jay as he continued talking to the gull. He kept the gull busy as Jay searched the nest. You see, dear reader, the rules of the birds are not the same as ours. There is nothing wrong with entering a bird's nest without permission so long as one doesn't hurt any chicks or steal any property.  Still, it was best not to be caught in another's nest as there were also no rules against defending one’s nest and violence could be used to remove the intruder. Because of this, Jay moved quickly and quietly.  Fortunately for Jay, he didn't have to search long for what he was looking for. Hidden in the corner of the nest was the ball of fluff and shiny rock.  

He quickly exited the nest and signaled Jack , whose posture went from casual and friendly to rigid in a second, his gaze piercing that of the gulls. He started to scream at the gull, gathering quite a crowd in doing so. Eventually the gull backed down and returned the stolen items without too much a struggle, apologizing for what he had done. 

Back at Ms.Corvidae’s nest the families had dinner together. They all listened in awed rapture as Jack told of the day's events, Jay rolling his eyes as Jack gushed about how cool and smart he was, and waving off his and the others’ agreement. And, if he didn't argue when Pica said that they should start their own detective agency, or shrug off the wing his husband wrapped around him as his husband agreed with Pica’s idea no one had to know. Still, no one was very surprised when a languid smirk worked itself over his beak and he said he would think about it. They all knew that that meant a yes.

fin~