John brought Dave out to the bunny hill, carrying Dave's skis for him. John showed Dave how to put his skis on and Dave did that pretty easily. Now came the hard part.

John guided Dave over to a conveyer belt that was in the snow called "The Magic Carpet." John showed Dave how to get on and Dave did but he almost fell straight on to his cool face. They got to the top of the small hill and John got off The Magic Carpet but this time, Dave actually did fall straight on to his cool face. The workers helped him up and Dave brushed it off, keeping his coolkid facade perfectly intact.

John turned around to face Dave.
"Okay, Dave. Here we go!" John said and started skiing down backwards, urging Dave to follow.
"Start out with your legs like a pizza slice or whatever you want to imagine in that shape."
"It's the illuminati shape. Skiing is illuminati confirmed." Dave said. John just laughed. Dave put his skis in the shape John had showed him and started going down the hill with John.

"John don't die."
"I won't."
"John. John, please."
"Dave, I won't die. I have experience doing this."
"John how do you ski backwards without dying."
"Practice, Dave."
"JOHN."
"Calm down."
"JOHN IM DYING OH MY GOG."
"DAVE, PUT YOUR LEGS BACK TOGETHER."
Dave's skis started sliding apart, slowly pulling Dave into the splits. John stopped skiing and let Dave slide into his arms so he could lift Dave up an adjust him so his legs didn't get pulled apart.

They made it down to the bottom of the hill in one piece.
"Okay, Dave let's try that again."
"John, why are you trying to kill me."
"Come on, Dave. I'm sure you'll get better. Let's go!" John and Dave repeated that process (without the Dave almost doing the splits part) until Dave got the hang of it. John started to ski next to him. Dave got better quickly so John decided to kick it up a notch.