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"𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝."

·········

.・. .・゜✭・.・✫・゜・. .

To Mom,

I ain't gonna be able to write for too long 'cause we're leaving Alexandria soon, making our way to the Kingdom for the fair. But, I dunno if I can even manage going, I just feel... awful? Shitty? Stupid? I dunno.

I guess part of me wishes me, Daryl an Dog just stayed out in the woods, away from everybody. Since we've been back, a lot of bad shit keeps happening. We had 6 whole ass years of everything being fine, I was finally starting to feel happy again, and now it's ruined. 

But, I guess It's good to see everybody again. And I think without me an Daryl, Lydia would still be stuck with her mom. Oh yeah, me, Henry and Lincoln went after Lydia when her mom came and took her. It was supposed to be a rescue mission, but I didn't really make a plan on what we'd do if it went bad.

And it did go bad. This giant found us watching 'em and we all got tied up. We probably would have all been dead if Daryl didn't come and save us, he wasn't happy with me at all. Not that I blame him, I almost got us all killed.

But now Lydia's with us, which I'm real happy about. She deserves to live a good life, y'know? But 'cause we stole her from her people, they're coming after us. It sucks, but I guess we just have to get on with it. 

We're in Alexandria now, like I said we're leaving soon, but I just feel so weird, mom, like everything is hurting and I dunno if I'm overreacting but yeah. 

I saw Negan.

It feels so weird to write that down. I don't even know how to explain how it felt seeing him. He looked older, different, but his eyes... his eyes were the same. For a second, it felt like I was a little kid again, running to him and feeling safe. But then, everything came crashing back.

All the bad stuff he did. All the hurt. It's like I could see everything all at once — the good, the bad, the times he held me when I was scared, and the times I had to pretend he didn't exist. My head keeps spinning with all these memories I tried to bury.

I thought I was ready to see him, but I wasn't. It was like my chest got too tight and I couldn't breathe. My hands were shaking, my heart felt like it was gonna explode. I had to get away before I fell apart in front of him.

Judith said he misses me. I didn't know she talked to him. And part of me wishes she didn't tell me that because now I don't know how to feel. Can someone like him really miss me? After everything? Can I miss him back without being stupid for it?

Judith, she tricked me into seeing him. She didn't mean any harm—she probably thought it would make me happy—but I wasn't ready. I don't think I'll ever be ready. 

The moment I saw his face, it was like everything hit me at once, like I could feel all the pain he caused me, all the hurt he caused everyone. I froze. I couldn't breathe.

I guess that's the thing, though. I never stopped hoping, deep down, that there was still something good in him. That the man I used to love was still in there somewhere.

But when I looked at him... I didn't see my dad. I saw someone I don't know. Someone who scares me. And it's so confusing, Mom, because I don't even know how to feel. Angry? Sad? I'm not sure.

I ended up running away. I couldn't take it anymore, and I just left. Judith called after me, but I couldn't stop. And now I feel like a coward.

I wanna hate him, Mom. I wanna be mad and scream at him for everything he did, for all the pain he caused. But there's this little voice in the back of my head that keeps whispering that he's still my dad. And I hate that voice.

I feel like such a mess.

And now we're going to the fair, and I'm supposed to just... smile and act normal? Like everything isn't crumbling inside me? How am I supposed to do that when my brain won't stop screaming?

I wish you were here, Mom. You'd know what to say. You'd tell me how to make sense of all this. But since you're not, I guess I just gotta keep going, one step at a time.

Daryl's here, though. He doesn't say much, but I know he's worried. He looks at me like he's scared I'm gonna break. Maybe I already did.

Years of 'healing' for it to all fall apart in a day. I mean, I've heard some scars don't heal, but I guess I was hoping mine did. 

Anyway, I should stop writing before Daryl tells me to hurry up. I hope this fair doesn't suck. Maybe being around other people will help clear my head.

I love you, Mom. Wish me luck.

Love,
Sunny

.・. .・゜✭・.・✫・゜・. .

Sunny was quiet when they left Alexandria. Small, polite smiles were all she could manage. The weight in her chest felt heavier with each step. Most of the people from Alexandria weren't coming to the fair. She wasn't sure when she'd see them again—or if she even wanted to. But none of it seemed to matter. Nothing really did.

Her feet moved on autopilot, following Daryl and the others. Lydia walked close to her, glancing over every so often like she wanted to say something, but Sunny didn't have the energy to talk. Even Lincoln stayed quiet, though she could feel him watching her, probably waiting for some kind of smart remark. It never came.

The sun was warm on her face, but it didn't feel comforting. The breeze carried the scent of the woods, but instead of feeling safe like she used to, it just reminded her of all the things she couldn't run from anymore.

They passed through the gates, and Sunny didn't look back. Alexandria, the place she once called home, faded behind her. Maybe it was better that way.

Daryl walked ahead, Dog trotting by his side. His presence should've made her feel better, should've reminded her she wasn't alone. But the storm in her head didn't care.

She kept her eyes on the road, her thoughts tangled and messy. No matter how hard she tried to sort through them, nothing made sense. Seeing Negan had cracked something inside her, and now she wasn't sure how to put herself back together.

The journey stretched on, the sound of boots crunching dirt and leaves filling the silence. Sunny's fingers twitched, restless, but she clenched them into fists.

The others were talking quietly—plans for the fair, things to look forward to—but it all sounded far away, like she was hearing it through water.

Sunny wrapped her arms around herself, pulling her jacket tighter. The fair was supposed to be something good, a chance to be normal for a little while. But how could she feel normal when everything inside her was broken?

She took a deep breath, trying to shake the feeling.

Just keep moving. That's all she could do.

Part of her wished she could have just acted normal when she saw him again, part of her even wishing she could have spoke to him, told him about what has happened over the years.

But, that was the child-like part of her, the same little girl who once hoped he could be good again after killing her family. Now, she understood that maybe he did care about her, but power was always first for him. He would have hurt her again and again if it meant keeping control.

Just seeing him made everything feel like it had fell apart, everything she had tried so hard to rebuild in herself. But, she would never be able to outrun the trauma, she understood that now.

So, she'd stayed quiet, lost in her own head. If Daryl or anyone tried speaking to her, she just tried to fake her way through the conversation, pretending everything was fine. But nothing was ever fine.

Daryl fell into step beside her, his boots scuffing the dirt path. He didn't say anything at first, just walked with her, letting the quiet stretch out between them. Sunny kept her eyes on the ground, watching the way her feet moved, one step after another. It was easier than looking at him.

After a minute, he spoke, his voice low and rough. "What's up, Sun?"

She shrugged, keeping her arms tight around herself. "I'm fine."

Daryl snorted softly, the sound full of doubt. "Yeah? That's the best ya got?"

Sunny's jaw tightened. She should've known better than to think he'd just let it slide. He'd known her too long, seen through her bullshit too much. She didn't have the energy to fight it, but she didn't know how to open up either.

"I said I'm fine," she muttered, kicking at a loose rock.

Daryl stopped walking, grabbing her shoulder gently to make her stop too. She didn't look up. His fingers tightened just a little, his voice softer now. "Come on, Sunny. Talk to me."

She swallowed hard, her throat tight. The words were stuck somewhere deep, tangled with everything she didn't want to feel. Her eyes burned, but she blinked fast, refusing to let the tears fall.

"It doesn't matter," she finally said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Nothing matters."

Daryl crouched a little, trying to meet her eyes. "That ain't true, and you know it."

She clenched her jaw, shaking her head. Her jaw tightened, and for a second, she thought about brushing him off again. But the weight in her chest was too much, the silence in her head too loud. She swallowed hard.

"I saw him," she said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

Daryl's brows knitted together. "Who?"

She hesitated, her throat tightening. "Negan."

Daryl's steps faltered. He went quiet, his mouth set in a grim line. When he spoke again, his voice was careful, measured. "How?"

"Judith planned it." Her words came out bitter, but they didn't have the energy behind them. She shook her head. "She thought I needed to see him. Thought it'd help, I guess."

Daryl didn't say anything for a moment, his jaw clenched so tight she could see the muscle twitch. When he finally spoke, his voice was low, like he was holding back a storm. "Damn it."

Sunny didn't know what else to say. She felt like she'd spilled everything out, and it still didn't make anything better.

"He—he still messes me up, Daryl," she admitted, her voice cracking. "I thought I could handle it, but just seein' him... everything fell apart again. Like I was back to bein' that scared kid."

Daryl let out a slow breath, his eyes dark with something she couldn't quite read. "You ain't that kid anymore."

"I know," she whispered. "But it still feels like it."

He nodded, his gaze fixed on the path ahead. "Ain't fair, what he did to you. None of it's fair."

She blinked hard, forcing the tears back. "I just... I don't know how to move on from it. I thought I was fine again... but..."

They stood there, the weight of her pain hanging in the air. Daryl let out a breath, his eyes sad but steady. "Ain't nothin' wrong with feelin' messed up about it. You don't gotta pretend."

She took a shaky breath, her shoulders slumping. "I just... I thought I was okay. Thought maybe I was gettin' better."

"You are better," Daryl said firmly. "Doesn't mean it don't still hurt. Doesn't mean it ain't hard."

Sunny finally looked up at him, her eyes searching his face for something—anything—that would make this feel less impossible. "I don't know how to stop it."

He squeezed her shoulder gently. "You don't gotta stop it. You just gotta get through it. And you ain't alone in this, alright?"

Her lips trembled, and she bit down on them, nodding. "Okay."

Daryl straightened up, his hand still resting on her shoulder. "You ready to keep movin'?"

She took a breath, shaky but a little steadier than before. "Yeah."

They started walking again, the path stretching out ahead of them. Daryl stayed close, his presence solid and steady, like a tether keeping her from drifting too far. Maybe things weren't fine. Maybe nothing was okay. But at least, for now, she didn't have to pretend to be alone.

But, she sure knew that pretending to be fine made everything a lot easier, that way, she didn't have to stay stuck in her mind. Her eyes wandered over the group ahead, landing on Connie, who was walking ahead, her attention focused on the road. 

A thought popped into her head, and she smirked. Teasing Daryl sure made her mind clear, so that's exactly what she'd do.

"So... what's goin' on between you and Connie?" She asked, her tone teasing.

Daryl's eyebrows shot up, and he blinked in confusion. "What?"

Sunny rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on. You're always lookin' out for her, walkin' next to her, learnin' to sign. I ain't blind, y'know."

Daryl's cheeks flushed slightly under the dirt, and he shook his head, his gaze fixed stubbornly on the ground. "Ain't nothin' goin' on."

"Uh-huh, sure," Sunny drawled, smirking. "You like her."

"I do not," he grumbled, his voice low. "Ain't like that."

"Daryl and Connie sittin' in a tree..." she started to sing under her breath, a grin spreading across her face.

"Cut it out," Daryl muttered, but there was a hint of a smile he couldn't quite hide.

Sunny giggled, the sound lightening the weight in her chest. For just a moment, things felt almost normal. She nudged him again. "It's okay, y'know. You deserve to be happy too."

Daryl glanced at her, the playful glint in her eyes easing some of his own tension. He didn't respond, but his lips twitched into a small smile.

They walked a few more steps in comfortable silence, the crunch of gravel beneath their boots filling the space between them. Daryl shoved his hands deeper into his pockets and glanced at her sideways.

"You know," he started, his voice low, "if you wanna keep your mind busy, it ain't off-limits no more."

Sunny tilted her head, frowning in confusion. "What ain't?"

"Henry," Daryl replied, glancing at her meaningfully. "Ain't like you gotta pretend you don't care 'bout him. I know you do."

Sunny's cheeks flushed, and she looked away, scuffing the toe of her shoe against the dirt. "I don't—"

"Don't even try that," Daryl cut in, his voice carrying a mix of exasperation and fondness. "You think I don't see how you look at him? Ain't nothin' wrong with it."

Sunny groaned, pulling her hat down lower over her face. "Oh my god, Daryl. Stop."

He chuckled, his smirk growing. "I'm just sayin'. Might help you stop stressin' over everythin' else if you let yourself have somethin' good."

Her lips twitched into a reluctant smile, though she still refused to meet his eyes. "You're seriously givin' me boy advice now?"

"Yeah, well," Daryl said, shrugging, "someone's gotta, and it sure as hell ain't gonna be Lincoln."

That drew a laugh from Sunny, and she shook her head, finally peeking up at him. "You're the worst."

He smirked, giving her a gentle nudge with his shoulder. "Nah. Just tryin' to look out for you." Daryl then gave a small shrug, his eyes fixed ahead. "Ain't no rule against lettin' yourself feel somethin', y'know. Might help."

Sunny chewed her bottom lip, her fingers playing with the edge of her sleeve. "I dunno... Seems like everythin' I care about just ends up gettin' messed up."

Daryl's gaze softened. "Doesn't mean you gotta shut it out completely."

She glanced up at Henry, who was laughing at something Lydia had said. There was a warmth in his smile, something steady and kind. Her heart twisted, a mix of fear and hope tangled together.

"Maybe," she mumbled, looking down at her feet.

Daryl nodded. "Jus' sayin'. You ain't gotta carry everything alone."

Sunny's lips curved into a small smile, a little less weighed down by the storm inside her. "Thanks, Daryl."

He grunted softly, his version of you're welcome. Then he added, "And if he messes with ya, I'll set Dog on him."

Sunny laughed, the sound light and genuine. "Deal."

As they walked on, her eyes drifted back to Henry, lingering a little longer this time. Maybe, just maybe, it was okay to let herself feel something good. Even if it scared her.

For now, that was enough.

.・. .・゜✭・.・✫・゜・. .

The six of them had been walking for a few hours now. The sun was high, and the road stretched on before them with no end in sight. Sunny's feet ached, but it was the silence that had settled around them that made everything feel strange. 

Lincoln, surprisingly, had been quiet. Normally, he would've been cracking jokes or teasing someone, but today he seemed just as lost in his thoughts as she was.

Sunny appreciated the quiet, though. It gave her time to think, or at least try to clear her head. But every so often, her mind would wander back to Daryl's words about Henry. It was still hard to shake that conversation, the way he'd gently nudged her in the direction she didn't quite feel ready to go. 

And now, as she walked beside Henry, she could feel the nervous energy building up inside her, a tension she hadn't expected to feel.

Henry, for his part, seemed to be lost in his own thoughts too. He walked with his head down, eyes on the path ahead. She didn't know if he was thinking about the same things she was, or if he was just as unsure as she was. It made everything feel... complicated.

She couldn't help but glance at him now and then. The way he looked when he wasn't paying attention, his hair falling over his forehead just right, the way his shoulders tensed when he thought no one was looking—it all made her feel something she wasn't sure she was ready to understand.

The conversation from earlier kept running through her head. Daryl's words echoed, a reminder that maybe she wasn't as good at hiding her feelings as she thought. Every time she glanced at Henry, she felt the heat in her cheeks. And every time their eyes met, her heart skipped.

Finally, Henry broke the silence, his voice softer than usual. "So, uh... you nervous about the fair?"

Sunny blinked, a little startled. She hadn't expected him to speak, but she quickly found herself at a loss for words. She wasn't used to feeling like this, it was weird as shit. It made her nervous, like maybe he could tell just how much she was overthinking every little thing.

"Uh, yeah," she admitted, forcing a shrug. "I mean, it's been a while since... well, since anythin' like this, y'know?" She laughed nervously, trying to hide the sudden flutter in her stomach. "I guess I'm just... not sure what to expect."

Henry glanced over at her, his gaze lingering a little longer than usual. "Yeah, me neither. It's been a while, huh?" His voice softened. "But I think it'll be good, right? A chance to... just relax for a bit."

"Maybe," she muttered, though she wasn't sure if she agreed. The more she thought about it, the more she realized how much she was trying to avoid how it would be to see everyone again. Made it worse that after speaking to Daryl, she was a ball of nerves around Henry.

She didn't know how to handle this—whatever this was. She'd never really let herself think about someone like this, especially not someone like Henry. She was still so messed up from everything that had happened before, from the things she'd seen and the things she'd done.

But Henry... Henry made her want to feel something different, something good. And that scared her more than she was willing to admit.

"You okay?" He asked, his voice soft.

She froze, heart pounding. "Yeah, I'm fine," she said quickly, but the words came out more rushed than she intended. She cleared her throat, trying to play it cool, but it was hard when all she could think about was the way his gaze never wavered.

Henry didn't say anything right away. He just walked beside her, his silence somehow louder than anything. Maybe Daryl had been right. Maybe she was just scared to let herself feel something good again. But the more she walked with Henry, the harder it was to ignore how much she wanted to.

Henry smiled faintly. "You've been quiet. That's... not normal."

She rolled her eyes, though the corner of her mouth twitched up. "I can be quiet sometimes, y'know."

"Sure," Henry teased, leaning forward slightly. "You just don't like to be."

Sunny huffed, nudging a rock with the toe of her boot. "What's your point?"

"No point," he said quickly, though the playful glint in his eye remained. "Just checking in. You've been through a lot lately."

She frowned, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "So have you."

"Yeah, but I'm not the one pretending I'm fine all the time." His tone was gentle, but it struck a chord in her.

Sunny looked down at her boots, picking at the bark of the tree behind her. "Maybe I don't wanna talk about it."

"That's fair," Henry said, leaning back and giving her space. "But if you ever do... I'm here."

She glanced at him, her chest tightening at the sincerity in his expression. "Thanks, Henry."

For a moment, neither of them spoke, the silence stretching out comfortably. Then Henry grinned, breaking the quiet. "Y'know, the fair's supposed to be fun. You think we'll actually get a chance to enjoy it?"

Sunny raised an eyebrow, a small smirk creeping onto her face. "You're looking forward to it?"

"Yeah," Henry admitted, his grin widening. "It's not every day we get something good. Thought maybe we could—" He hesitated, scratching the back of his neck. "I could show you around? Been a while since you came to the kingdom."

Sunny's cheeks warmed, and she quickly ducked her head, pretending to adjust her hair. "Yeah, that, uh, sounds good." She murmured. Ew, why do I sound like that? She couldn't help but think she sounded like a scared kid, speaking to her crush. Well, maybe that's just what she was.

Daryl suddenly stopped in front of them, making Sunny's weird feelings to vanish as she tensed, gripping her bat. They all then heard the sound of horses approaching, what sounded like a chariot too.

Then, from the clearing, they saw Michonne and Judith, them practically pulling up beside them. What were they doing here?

"Anyone headed to Kingdom?" Judith asked, a small smile on her face.

They were going to the fair now? Small smiles made their way onto everyone's faces, though it didn't seem like nothing major, Sunny knew it was a step forward in mending the communities bonds.

As they all began to get into the chariot, Sunny actually felt happy. It was weird, after seeing Negan, she was sure that it would have long lasting effects. But, she felt good, hopeful, even. Like nothing could ruin her good mood. Everything was falling into place again.

When Rick had died on the bridge, it was as if the bridge that brought the communities together had fallen too. But, finally, it seemed like things were going to get better.

.・. .・゜✭・.・✫・゜・. .