⋆𝟶𝟸𝟾|ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ʀᴇᴜɴɪᴏɴ?
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
"𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬, 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭."
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.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
To Mom,
I'm sorry about the last time I wrote. I was real negative, and it felt like all my feelings were jumbled up inside and they all spilled out at once. Writing down my feelings is easier than saying them out loud. I hope I didn't worry you, wherever you are.
I'm not gonna lie and say I'm totally okay, 'cause that would make me a big ol' liar. I'm still hurting, but I feel a little more like me again.
Daryl came back, and I think that's a big part of why I'm feeling better. I was mad at him for leaving, but honestly, I'm just glad he's back. It's weird, though, how much I rely on him even though I haven't known him for that long. But I guess I wouldn't change that for anything.
He kept saying sorry for leaving, like, a lot. He said he was really sorry, especially after I freaked out again. You know, the ones where I feel like I can't breathe, like I'm drowning or something. But he helped me, Mom. Just like you and Dad used to do when I'd get like that. He's good at it, calming me down.
I didn't really wanna admit this to you, but I need to. I had that freak-out 'cause... I killed someone. I don't want you to hate me, but I need to be honest. It scares me, what I did. It doesn't feel right, but it happened.
I still feel so guilty, even though that man was trying to hurt us. He was shooting at us, trying to kill people I care about, and I knew I had to do something. But it doesn't matter, 'cause now I can't stop thinking about how I took his life. It's like, even though everyone says it's okay, that I had no choice, it doesn't feel okay to me. It feels wrong, like maybe I'm turning into the kind of person I never wanted to be.
I always told myself I'd never let this world change me, but what if it already has? What if I'm not the same girl I was before all this started? I keep thinking about him, lying there after I pulled the trigger. The look on his face is stuck in my head, and I can't get it out. I feel like a monster sometimes, even though everyone says I'm not.
Daryl told me it wasn't my fault, that I'm still good. But it's hard to believe that right now. I don't wanna be a killer, but I did it anyway. What does that make me?
I guess I just hope you'd understand, somehow. I hope you wouldn't be mad at me. I wish I could hear you tell me it's gonna be okay. But, I think I know you wouldn't like me no more because of what I did, I really, really hope not though.
But I'm so, so glad Daryl's back. Even with everything going on in my head, just knowing he's here helps a lot. It's like... when he left, I felt like something was missing, and now that he's back, I feel a little more whole. I didn't realize how much I'd come to rely on him, but I do. I still kinda feel mad that he went with Merle in the first place, but I can't stay mad when I'm just so relieved he came back.
Merle's here now too, and that's... well, it's kinda weird. He's a real prick, and I don't like how he talks sometimes, but Daryl cares about him, so I guess I'll deal with it. I spoke to him yesterday, I still think he's a huge asshole, but I can tell that there is definitely some good in him. I just hope he shows it more.
I can tell Daryl's different when he's around, though. Like he's caught between who he was with Merle and who he is now with us. It's hard to explain, but I just hope it doesn't mess things up too bad.
I'm worried, though. We're all worried. If the Governor comes back, I don't know if we can handle it again. He already broke through the fence once, and if he tries it again... I don't know what's gonna happen. Everyone's acting tough, but I can see it in their eyes—they're scared, just like I am. I keep thinking about the people we've already lost, and I'm scared that more people I care about are gonna get hurt or worse.
I don't wanna lose anyone else, Mom. I can't. It feels like we're always fighting just to survive, and sometimes I wonder if we're strong enough to keep going. But I guess we have to be, right? 'Cause what else is there?
Daryl tells me all the time that I'm tough, that I'm a fighter, but I don't always feel that way. Sometimes I just want everything to stop for a minute, to not have to worry about walkers, or the Governor, or losing anyone else.
I'm trying though. I really am. Daryl makes it a little easier, knowing he's got my back. Even Merle, for all his grumbling and being, well, Merle, I think he cares too. At least a little. And the others... they're family too. It's funny, isn't it? How I found this whole new family when the world's falling apart.
I just hope we can all stick together. I hope that we can make it through whatever's coming next. I guess I don't really know what's gonna happen, but I know I'm not alone, and maybe that's enough for now.
Anyway, I better get going. Daryl's probably gonna come looking for me soon, and I can already hear Merle complaining about something. I miss you, Mom, and I hope somehow you know that I'm trying my best down here. I'm trying to be someone you'd be proud of.
Love,
Sunny
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Sunny placed her journal on the small metal table next to her bunk, she stood up and put on her boots as she exited the cell, wanting to know what all the commotion going on downstairs was.
The girl walked into the common room, hoping that Merle wasn't causing trouble again. But when she reached the room, everyone was gathered around, the air slightly tense. Sunny looked around and then her eyes landed on distinctive blonde hair in the middle, Andrea.
Sunny hadn't saw Andrea since they had left the farm, why was she here? Sunny quietly made her way over to where Daryl was sat, she sat next to him, the man gave her a small nod which she returned.
She looked around warily, Merle had told them all that Andrea was now with The Governor, which made her question if he was around too. Waiting to attack, to come and kill them all whilst they were distracted. She sure hoped not.
If anything, Andrea owed the girl since she had literally shot her. Sunny would be real mad if this was some sort of surprise attack.
The girl was mostly focused on Andrea's type in men more than anything. Back at the farm, she was all heart-eyed for Shane, now she was all loved up with the Governor. The woman truly took having a crush on the bad boy to a whole new level.
Andrea was embracing Carol tightly, the two surprised to see one another. The woman slowly pulled away from Carol as her eyes laid on Hershel's now missing leg. "Hershel.. my god." She breathed out. "I can't believe this," she spoke, looking around at them all. "Where's Shane?"
Sunny was surprised that after everything, that was Andrea's first question. Shane was a huge asshole, who cared where he was? Plus, he was her first thought before T-dog, or Lori. It made no sense at all. Rick sighed, shaking his head, telling the woman everything she needed to know.
"And Lori?" She then asked. Rick bowed his head, the grief still evident all over his face. Sunny herself looked down, images replaying of Lori's demise in her mind.
"She had a girl. Lori didn't survive," Hershel answered.
"Neither did T-Dog," Maggie added. Sunny just wished that the list of people who had died would stop, but at the moment, it didn't seem like an end to the deaths was coming.
"I'm so sorry," Andrea spoke. Her eyes wandered over to Carl and her face morphed into a frown. "Carl.." she said tenderly, but Carl just stared back at her with an emotionless expression. "Rick.. I.." She whispered, but the silence continued, showing no one wanted to talk about it. "You all live here?"
"Here and the cell block," Glenn told her.
"There?" Andrea asked, pointing towards the block to which Glenn nodded to. "Well can I go in?"
"I won't allow that," Rick quickly said, blocking her from walking any closer.
"I'm not an enemy, Rick."
"We had that field and courtyard, until your boyfriend tore down that fence with a truck and shot us up," Rick grumbled, his hands resting on his hips.
"He said you fired first," Andrea said, surprise and confusion evident on her face.
Sunny couldn't help but release a small scoff, how was Andrea so trusting of the man? It was clear to anyone that he was a huge asshole, she didn't understand how Andrea didn't see right through his facade. Daryl placed his hand on the girls shoulder, a small gesture to tell her it's alright.
"Well, he's lyin'." Rick growled.
"He killed an inmate who survived in here," Hershel added.
"We liked him, he was on of us." Daryl said. Sunny frowned a little, remembering how Axel was killed right in front of her, it still hurt.
"I didn't know anything about that. As soon as I found out, I came." Andrea said, her eyes welled up with tears. "I didn't even know you were all in Woodbury until after the shoot-out."
"That was days ago," Glenn said.
"I told you, I came as soon as I could." Andrea said, everyone remained silent just staring at her. She spun around to face Michonne. "What have you told them?"
"Nothing," Michonne answered.
"I don't get it. I left Atlanta with you people and now I'm the odd man out?" She said, her voice growing irritated.
"He almost killed Michonne and he would have killed us," Glenn said lowly, reminding the woman of the evils the Governor had committed.
"With his finger on the trigger!" She accused, her finger shooting up to point at Merle.
"Your damn boyfriend had his finger on the trigger to a damn 10 year old," Daryl grumbled beside the girl, a pissed off expression written all over his face. Sunny huffed as Andrea's eyes laid on her, she did not want to talk about it.
Andrea pulled her hands to her face, taking a deep breath. "I cannot excuse or explain what Phillip has done. But I am here trying to bring us together, we have to work this out!" She pleaded.
Sunny honestly felt a little bit of sympathy for the woman, she was trying to offer peace, she could have stayed with the Governor and not even bothered coming to the prison. But she didn't, she was trying. But it was too late, peace was no longer an option.
"There's nothing to work out," Rick quickly shut Andrea down, stepping towards her. "We're gonna kill him. I don't know how or when, but we will."
"We can settle this. There is room at Woodbury for all of you!" She offered.
Merle chuckled behind the woman, making everyone's heads turn to him. "You know better than that."
"What makes you think this man wants to negotiate? Did he say that?" Hershel asked.
"No," Andrea admitted, her head bowed.
"Then why did you come here?" Rick questioned.
"Because he's gearing up for war. The people are terrified, they see you as killers. They're training to attack!" Andrea stressed.
"I'll tell you what. Next time you see Phillip, you tell 'im I'm gonna take his other eye." Daryl said, his voice low and slightly menacing. Sunny had to hold back a small smile, it was funny to her that their literal enemy was just a man named Phillip.
"We've taken too much shit for too long. He wants a war? He's got one." Glenn said.
"Rick. If you don't sit down and try to work this out, I don't know what's gonna happen. He has a whole town. Look at you, you've lost so much already. You can't stand alone anymore."
Rick walked forward, getting in Andrea's face. "You want to make this right? Get us inside."
"No," Andrea said quickly.
"Then we got nothin' to talk about," Rick said, walking away.
"There are innocent people!" Andrea yelled after him, but Rick just ignored her, marching out of the room.
Silence hung around the room, nobody said a thing as Andrea looked around at them all. Her eyes eventually landed on Sunny, who sat quietly, fiddling with the wooden horse in her hands.
Andrea hesitated before stepping closer to the girl. "Hey, Sunny," she said softly, trying to smile. "It's been a while. You doing okay?"
Sunny glanced up briefly, shrugging before looking away again. "Yeah... guess so," she mumbled, her voice barely above a whisper.
Andrea started, her tone tentative. "I didn't know what happened in Woodbury—"
"She ain't talkin' 'bout what happened there," Daryl cut in sharply, his voice protective as he stepped forward. "Look at what that asshole did to her face."
Andrea's eyes widened as she finally noticed the now stitched cut on Sunny's cheek. "Oh my God... Sunny, I didn't—"
"Yeah, well, it happened," Daryl growled, cutting her off again, his jaw clenched. "Ain't no need to drag her back into talkin' 'bout it."
Andrea watched them both with a small frown, her mouth opened to say something but then quickly closed. She looked down then quickly rushed out of the room, Michonne following after her.
Daryl nudged the girl on her arm, making her look up to him. "Ya alright?" He asked quietly.
Sunny hesitantly nodded, her thoughts swirling, too confusing to make sense of. She didn't know whether to hate Andrea for defending the Governor, or to see the good in her, how she was begging them all for peace.
One thing she did know, though, was that she probably shouldn't have forgiven Andrea so easily for shooting her back at the farm. That scar was still ugly as hell.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Everyone was gathered by the basketball courts as Andrea was leaving, she'd been at the prison for a few hours, but Sunny had tried to avoid the woman. It's not that she had a big problem with Andrea, but there just wasn't much to say. She was dating the man that had hurt her, so, it was weird.
The gates opened as Glenn drove the car through into the small courtyard, Andrea walked over to it as he stepped out. "Can you spare it?" She asked.
"Yeah," Rick replied.
Andrea look around at them all, the tension in the air was heavy, no one truly knowing what to say. It was a weird situation. She sighed, her lips tightening. "Well, take care," she spoke, getting into the drivers seat.
Before she drove off, Rick stepped forward. "Andrea," he said, stepping forward and passing her a gun and a knife through the window. "Be careful."
"You, too," she said quietly, then drove off.
Sunny watched the car leaving the prison with a small frown, everyday that passed, she was getting more and more confused. It was difficult to understand how she should feel about everything going on, she just felt uneasy.
The sun quickly set once Andrea left, they had all returned inside to the cell block. Darkness had enveloped the building, their only light source being from the small lantern and candles that had been placed on the ground.
Beth and Carol were sat around the small source of light, Michonne was sat a little away, deep in thought. Sunny's head rested on Maggie's lap, the woman's fingers running through her golden locks as Glenn sat next to the pair. Even Merle had been allowed to join the group inside the block.
Even though there was a lot going on, even though they had been through so much together, they all felt relatively at peace. Everything seemed to feel that little bit better when they were all together, as a family.
Rick was holding Judith as he descended down the stairs, approaching Hershel and Daryl who leant against the wall.
Beth began to softly sing, it wasn't a song that Sunny had heard before, her mom and dad only really listened to Half Moon, Iron Maiden and Joe Cocker. She didn't truly understand why Beth liked to sing sometimes, but Sunny still loved it.
Her voice was beautiful, as sweet as the girl. It seemed whenever she sung, no matter how random it was, it made them all feel at peace.
"Some reunion, huh?" Daryl quietly spoke to Rick, but Sunny was still able to hear him from the ground.
"She's in a jam," Rick replied, refferiing to Andrea.
"We all are," Hershel added. "Andrea's persuasive. This fella's armed to the teeth. Bent on destruction."
"So what do ya wanna do?" Daryl asked.
"We match it," Rick said quickly, his voice gruff. "I'm goin' on a run."
"I'll head out tomorrow," Daryl offered. Sunny frowned at his words, the man hadn't left since he'd came back and she wasn't sure if she'd be able to control her worries if he was to go off again, even if it was for a run.
She often found herself getting worried if she couldn't find him in the cell block, it weirded her out, why did she care that much? She told herself it was simply because she didn't want him to get hurt or leave, but it was truly more than that. And slowly, she was beginning to accept that.
"No, you stay here. Keep an eye out on your brother," Rick said much to her pleasure, Daryl nodded along. "I'm glad you're back, really. But if he causes a problem, it's on you."
"I got him," Daryl assured.
"I'll take Michonne."
"You sure that's a good idea?" Daryl asked.
"I'll find out," Rick replied. "And Carl. He's ready. You hold it down here."
"You got it," Daryl responded.
Sunny tuned out of the conversation, her gaze drifting to Beth. The gentle hum of Beth's voice wrapped around her like a warm blanket, soft and comforting. The rhythmic melody of the song acted like a lullaby, tugging at her eyelids.
"When there's nothing left to keep you here, when you're falling behind in this big blue world. You got to hold on, hold on, got to hold on."
Sunny's body relaxed, her muscles slowly unwinding as her breathing grew softer. The words blended into a soft hum in the background, and she felt herself growing more and more tired, her mind finally letting go of the day's worries.
Maggie smiled down at the girl who was on the brink of sleep on her lap, her hands still massaging her head. In this world, it was sometimes hard to remember that such innocence still existed, the sight alone tugged at the woman's heart. After everything the girl had been through, Sunny was still the sweet child she had always been.
Beth's singing slowed to a stop, her voice trailing off into silence. The group fell quiet, a sense of peace settling over them for the first time in a while.
Daryl glanced over and noticed Sunny curled up in Maggie's lap, her face peaceful, lost in sleep. A soft smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, and the others exchanged knowing looks, their own faces softening at the sight.
Daryl stood up, moving over to where Sunny rested. He crouched down beside her and gently nudged her shoulder. "Hey, Sun. Time to get t'bed," he whispered, his voice low and careful.
Sunny stirred, her eyes fluttering open as she blinked up at him sleepily. "Huh? I wasn't sleepin'..." she mumbled, rubbing her eyes as she sat up.
Maggie smiled down at her, giving her a gentle pat on the back. "C'mon, honey, let's get you to bed."
Sunny yawned, rubbing her eyes as she slowly stood up, still half-asleep as she followed Daryl toward her cell. His hand rested gently on her back, guiding her up the metal steps. He glanced over his shoulder and caught Merle's smirk, causing him to roll his eyes in annoyance, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips.
When they reached her cell, Sunny climbed onto the top bunk, nestling into the blankets. Daryl placed the small wooden horse next to her, his expression softening. "Get some rest, Sun," he said quietly, the words full of care.
Sunny was already drifting off, her eyes barely open as she mumbled, "Mhm... night."
Daryl lingered for a moment, watching her as her breathing slowed and she sank into sleep. A warm feeling spread through him, one that he wasn't used to, but he found comfort in it. There was something about her—this kid—that made him feel like maybe things weren't so bad.
"Night, Sun," he whispered, before quietly stepping out of the cell, casting one last glance back as he left.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
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