Chapter 13: Jason
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Kennedy's Journal
It's been two weeks, to miserable week of this wretched place, And I have to sleep on the floor almost every night, there isn't even carpet! I don't know how much longer I can take it, I remember why my younger self ran away, even living on the streets is better than this stuffy, crowded, dingy, prison they call a children's home. I know I told Tony that I wouldn't run away again, but he doesn't know what it's like to have to live here, I think he would run away too. Peter hasn't made an attempt to call me yet, either that or they won't let me take his calls. I have been trying my best not to cry too much, especially around the little girls, I know they need someone to show them hope, so I put on a hopeful face for them, even though I have none myself. Two days ago I started seeing a woman who I recognise as my first caregiver when I was sent here before, she knew all about me and my story, and was one of the only people I talked to back then. I wonder if she recognises me, and I wonder if she remembers Jason. She just came into the room, I'm gonna go ak her.
I carefully close my journal and clutch it to my chest as I carefully pick my way across the crowded room, careful not to step on anyone's feet. When I reach the other side of the room I wait patiently while the blond woman lays a small sleeping girl on a bed. She stands back up and I tap her on the shoulder to get her attention, she turns around and looks me over with a kind smile.
"Hello miss Rose, do you remember me?" I inquire. She looks me over once more with a more studying eye. All of a sudden she seems to realize who I am.
"Kennedy?" She asks in surprise. I nod with a genuine smile, and she hugs me tightly.
"I can't believe it's you, what have you been doing all these years?" She asks, pulling me out of the room so we can talk.
"I've been living on my own, which quite frankly was better than living here."
"How did you end up back here?"
"Uh, it's a long story, but basically I did something kinda illegal and got arrested." I explain, not wanting to go into detail about the life I lost. She looks disappointed to hear I did something illegal, but she quickly moves on.
"Well I'm just glad you're safe, ever since you ran away I've been wondering what happened to you." I smile at the kind woman then switch to a more serious topic.
"Rose, I was wondering, do you remember my brother Jason?" I ask biting my lip.
"Of course." She assures me.
"Do you, do you know where he is? If he's alright?" My voice crack in fear of the answer.
"I haven't heard anything about him in a while, after you left we stopped getting updates, but I'll find out if you like." A small hopeful smile lights up my face, and I hug the woman.
"Thank you." Rose is torn away from me when someone calls her name, I go back into the shared room and wait for someone to come take us to dinner.
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It's the third day since I asked Rose about my brother, and I haven't seen her since, I can't help but worry, and the dreary atmosphere doesn't help either. Still no call from Peter.
I can't think of anything else to write so I close the book, I would be using my laptop in a time of such boredom, but unfortunately there is no WiFi, and no way to charge the battery so it died on the first day. Looking around the room I spot three girls around my age, playing jacks on the floor, with nothing better to occupy my attention, I walk over and sit down on the floor next to them, attracting the attention of the group.
"Can I play?" I ask, suddenly feeling sheepish for intruding on their game, but the girls just nod.
"Sure, do you know how?" Asks the same girl who told me about the beds, who has proven herself to be a ring leader among the girls.
"Sort of, I've only ever played once." I admit, remembering the time my dad tried to teach me to play. The girls immediately start explaining the game to me, and when they finish we start playing for real, I watch closely as the other girls take their turns, then when it's my turn I accidentally bounce the ball way too hard and can't catch it again. I pass the ball to the next girl and we continue in this way for a while, me never getting more than two jacks in a row. After three games of failing miserably I am ready to play something else.
"Hey can I teach you guys a game I know?" I ask just before another round of jacks starts. All the girls seem intrigued and agree, so I run to find my backpack and pull out the pack of cards that Peter gave me, I'll teach them the game Peter taught me, I know I'm not great at it but at least it's better than jacks, and it's the only card game I know. I teach the girls the rules as I set up the game, then the game begins and there are several minutes of silence as we all concentrate on our cards. I win and we decide to play again, we go through several rounds and pretty soon we have all won at least once. I am about to set up again when I spot Rose from across the room.
"Here, you guys can play without me, I'll be right back." I say, handing the cars to them. I stand up and make my way across the room to where rose is standing, she sees me approaching and her face goes pale, my heart speeds up at her reaction, that can't be good. I determinedly continue toward her until I stand right in front of her.
"What is it? Just tell me." I say desperately. The woman's expression only gets more distraught, I can tell she is struggling to find the right words. After an unbearably long moment of suspense she begins,
"I called the hospital last night," She pauses, seeming unable to continue, my eyes beg her to go on, "Jason. . . Jason passed away, two days ago." My heart stops and my hands fly over my mouth, trying to suppress a sob, but the tears stream from my eyes before I can even comprehend the information. No, no it can't be, she's wrong. I can't restrain it and sobs start to come with the tears, all eyes in the room are on me, but I don't care. all that matters is the earth shattering matter before me, my brother, my little brother, Jason, died. Another loud sob escapes my mouth and Rose wraps her thin arms around me. My heart feels like it's being torn into a million pieces, my stomach churns making me feel like throwing up, and still the tears fall, and still the sobs come. Rose takes me over to a bed, and I want nothing more than to crawl under the covers and never wake up, never have to feel this pain, never have to deal with another miserable day. But under the covers the pain is still there, it is there all night, even as I drift to sleep the pain haunts my restless dreams.
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I wake up to the noise of the other girls starting their day as if nothing had happened, how can life just go on like that, how can nothing be different when my world has come crashing down, I don't want to open my eyes and face the world, but I am forced to stumble out of bed and conforme to the daily routine, I walk, absently, alongside the other girls to the mess hall, but I can't make myself eat, I just sit and stare with unseeing eyes at the world around me. Time drones on before me, and finally I find myself back on the bed, I reach into my backpack and pull out my most treasured possession, a photograph of me, my dad, and. . . my brother, on a sailboat. Dad had taken us fishing, I smiled sadly at the memory and burst into tears once again, I pull my knees up to my chest and bury my face in my arms, letting the tears soak into my sleeves. I cry silently, but everyone still watches me, with sympathetic eyes, everyone here has lost someone, everyone knows the pain I feel, so why do I feel so alone?
"Kennedy, there's someone here who'd like to talk to you." One of the caretakers informs me, but I ignore her, I don't want to talk to anyone. I keep my face, which is now red from crying and wet from tears, buried in my arms. I hear a set of footsteps walk away, then feel two people sit down on the mattress.
"Hey Firecracker." As soon as those words reach my ears my head shoots up from it's position. Tony and Pepper are sitting beside me on the bed, without a thought I throw myself into Tony's arms, gripping him like he might disappear if I let go. I don't know why they're here, or why they didn't come sooner, but right now I need to feel his protection. And that's exactly what I do feel as he wraps his arms around me, holding me tightly. Tears are still streaming from my eyes and soaking Tony's t-shirt.
"It's alright Firecracker, we're here now, everythings fine."
"No," I sob, "No it's not." I feel Pepper's hand stroke the back of my head caringly.
"Hony, tell us what's wrong." She coaxes. I squeezed my eyes shut and try my best,
"H-H-He-He's Dead." I can feel Tony's breath hitch and his hold on me tightens. Pepper joins the hug, comfortingly rubbing my back, not asking anymore questions, just holding me. My sobs only increase as I let my guard down. I unclench my fist and hand Pepper the photo I had been clutching. She looks at it and sighs, then shows it to Tony, who puts a hand on my head.
"I'm so sorry." Pepper whispers.
"Get me out of here, please." I choke desperately🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
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