The continuous and very annoying beeping next to her woke Allegra up. At first, she thought it was the stupid alarm clock her father got her for Christmas one year. But when she moved her hand to shut the damn thing off, her hand bumped into something. Or rather someone. 
Allegra looked down and saw a man sleeping, his head resting on the bed right beside her hand. Confused, she looked around. Upon seeing the white hospital room, the IV drip, and the machines she was hooked up to, she was immediately reminded of where she was. And of what had happened.
Her eyes were drawn back to the person sleeping beside her. Shaggy brown hair... Sam Winchester. She put her hand gently on his head. He stirred.

"Sam? Sam, wake up."

The sound of her voice pulled Sam out of his sleep, and he jerked up.

"Allegra! Hey, how euhm... h-how you feeling?"

"I'll be fine. Angelic self-healing powers, remember?"

He smiled, lowering his eyes shyly. Allegra tried to push herself up so she could sit more comfortably. Sam came to her aid when he saw her struggle. She blushed at his touch but didn't do anything to push him away.

"Where's Dean?" she asked quickly, not seeing the other Winchester in the room.

Allegra believed she saw Sam's expression harden for a moment.

"Around," he replied, sitting back down on his chair. "Taking care of things for... for Bobby. He... didn't make it."

His voice trembled a little.

"You tried," said Sam then. "But..."

"I wasn't strong enough," finished Allegra, casting her eyes down.

"No, you can't blame yourself, Allegra. I saw what happened with that angel out in the parking lot. You asked for help and fought to get back here. You did everything you could to fix things."

Not everything, thought Allegra miserably. If only you guys knew.

She suddenly became aware that Sam was holding her hand in his. He caressed her skin with his thumb. It was such a simple gesture. But at that moment, it was the most comforting feeling Allegra had had in a very long time.
Footsteps outside the room prompted Sam to let go. They both looked up, expecting Dean to stand in the doorway, but instead, a nurse came in holding a blood bag.

"Oh good, you're up. You had worried there for a sec, honey. You sure lost a lot of blood, so we're just gonna put up another one of these. If you don't have any pain and tests come back okay, you can leave with your cousins."

"No, wait." Allegra stopped the nurse before she could hook the blood bag up for another drip. "That won't do any good, I have..."

"Golden blood. Yeah, we know, hun. Your other cousin warned us in time and donated three full bags. That isn't normally allowed, but considering the situation, we made an exemption. We didn't have time to test it since there was some urgency to it, but he assured us it was good as he'd done it before. Said you always end up saving each other. Golden blood is incredibly scarce, but to have two persons of the same family with it? You guys are lucky to have each other."

Allegra glanced at 'her cousin,' but Sam avoided her gaze and seemed to have found a sudden interest in his shoes. After the nurse left, Allegra shot Sam a hard look.

"Sam, where's Dean?" she asked him again.

"Just, you know, signing papers and stuff," Sam replied unconvincingly.

"Oh, so the 'other cousin' is just some stranger who knows I don't have a blood type?"

"Euhm..."

"Sam!"

His eyes were begging Allegra not to make him say it. Dean had probably told his brother not to tell her anything, but Allegra had the right to know if her (ex?) boyfriend just gave up half his blood to save her. She wanted to keep pushing, but at that moment, Dean came into the room, finishing what appeared to be a cookie. He froze when he saw Allegra's staring eyes, clearly expecting her to still be unconscious. An awkward silence filled the room, broken by Sam clearing his throat.

"Okay, so... I'm gonna go wait in the car."

He rushed out, closing the door behind him. Allegra and Dean looked at each other again, unsure of what to do. This was the first time since the motel room in Oregon that they'd been alone together. Neither of them knew where to start.

"You okay?" Dean finally asked.

"Fine," answered Allegra. 

"Good, that's... that's good."

Allegra sighed. So far for the earth-shattering reunion of two persons who had gone weeks without seeing each other. She couldn't let this go on. If she had to take the first step, then fine, that's what she would do. If only to keep her promise to Bobby.

"Dean, I'm..."

"We're gonna give Bobby a Hunter's funeral near the cabin. If you wanna come, we can wait for you."

She blinked as the sudden interruption caught her by surprise.

"Euhm, yeah. Yeah, I'll be there. The nurse said I can leave soon."

"Okay, we'll say goodbye together. And then we can go our separate ways."

Allegra's heart stopped. Everything blurred around her. 

"Dean, I-I don't wanna..." she stammered, trying to find the right words to say.

"We'll wait for you at the cabin."

Dean opened the door of her room and left, leaving Allegra alone with her heart crushed. Again.

***

It was too much. Dean couldn't bear it. He had to get away from Allegra. Things were so screwed up; Dean didn't know what to do anymore. He had resolved himself to let Allegra go, but when she collapsed, all the feelings he had for her came rushing back, and he wanted nothing else than to stay with her and make sure she was okay. 
Whatever she'd tried to do to save Bobby, it had taken everything out of her. Allegra hadn't forgotten about Dean, so she didn't make a deal with the angels to save Bobby's life. And after what Sam told him had happened in the parking lot, Dean doubted she would go back to them now. It would've been so easy to start a new page then and there. But the words he heard her say were haunting him.

'He hurts, is that what you want to hear? Do you want me to say I want those memories of Dean gone? Forget I ever loved him?'

If Allegra had been prepared to give him up after everything they'd gone through, after everything he had given up to be with her, then why the hell should he still bother with her? Sure, she would've done it to save Bobby, and he would've probably forgiven her eventually, and heck, maybe she would've even fallen in love with him again, but it hurt too damn much.
Dean made his way back to the Impala, where Sam was patiently waiting for his brother. When he saw Dean coming, Sam quickly stepped out of the car.

"How did it go?" he asked. "You two okay?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" snapped Dean as he walked around the Impala to the driver's side. "Get your ass back in the car. We're leaving."

"What? Wait, Dean!"

By the time Sam got back in, Dean already had his hand on the key to turn on the ignition.

"What happened?"

"Nothing," said Dean in an annoyed tone. "I told her we're having a Hunter's funeral for Bobby. She's coming to say goodbye then."

"Wha-goodbye? I don't understand, you didn't talk to her?"

"What the hell for?"

"Dean, the first thing she asked me when she woke up was where you were. You gave your blood when you didn't even know if that was gonna work! Stop acting like you just stopped caring about her."

"Sam, I swear to God, if you don't drop this right no- oh, come on!"

The radio had started playing by itself again. Dean angrily stepped out of the Impala and slammed the door shut. He pinched the bridge of his nose and paced in front of the car, trying to calm himself down. The music stopped as suddenly as it had begun. Dean turned around and saw Sam leaning against the open passenger door. He held a tiny jewelry box in his hand. Upon seeing it, Dean's breath caught.

"I'm guessing this is what Bobby meant with 'give heart'," said Sam after opening the box. "Dean, this must've cost a fortune. Why haven't you given it to her yet?"

"It was never the right time," answered Dean sadly, sighing in misery. "We never even went on a date. Something... Something always came up. Bobby must've seen me with it one day. I've been keeping it hidden so that Allegra wouldn't find it. It doesn't matter now."

"You really saying you're never gonna give it to her? That you just... stopped feeling what you felt for her?"

Dean pinched his lips. 

"Doesn't matter what I feel. She's the one who left."

"Dean, come on..."

"You want her to have it, fine, you give it to her! I'm done! With angels and demons and Leviathans and... and her too!"

With that, Dean ended the discussion and got back behind the wheel. Sam lingered for a moment but then sat down as well, putting the box right back where he had found it. His little brother refused to look at him, but Dean didn't care. Sam being a little bitch about him and Allegra was fake anyway. Dean knew all too well that Sam would like nothing better than for Allegra to be available again. The caring-brother-act Sam had going on was another item on a long list of things Dean couldn't handle right now.

***

The funeral took place the following night. Allegra arrived at the cabin a little before noon. The doctor had insisted on keeping her one more night for observation, to her great frustration. She was all healed up and felt fine. Strangely enough, Allegra felt better than fine. She was stronger than she had ever felt before. She couldn't explain it. If she didn't know any better, she would've said Dean's blood had some kind of strengthening effect on her. But that was impossible, of course. He was just a mortal, a human. Nothing (and everything) was special about him.

Things were uncomfortable, to say the least. Allegra had never been able to shut out Dean's thoughts like she could angel radio (which was on mute again now); she had just ignored his voice in her head as best as she could. What she could hear now explained his behavior towards her. He heard her talking to Bobby, but he hadn't heard everything. Every time Allegra tried to talk to Dean about it, he would change the subject or find some excuse to leave the room.
Sam got caught in the crossfire. He went back and forth between them, trying to get them together. At one point, Allegra thought Sam was gonna lock the door on them, but he refrained from doing so when Dean threw him a warning glare. She silently thanked Sam for trying, but it was no use. The only one who could have knocked some sense into Dean was gone. For good.

The pyre was ready by sunset. Allegra held her breath as she watched Dean light it. She stood a little behind the brothers, watching the flames spread around Bobby Singer's body. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks. Another death that she was responsible for. If she'd been strong enough... If she had just persuaded Death and held on a little bit longer...
Her eyes rested on Dean's back. Allegra thought of using her shield on him, and Sam too, to take away some of the grief they were feeling, but she decided not to. Sam might not immediately realize what was happening, but Dean definitely would. She had used her power on him so many times before he would immediately know it was her doing. Only this time, he wouldn't thank her for it.
The fire roared, illuminating the sky with an ominous glow. Sam put his hand on his brother's shoulder and peeked at Allegra over his own. She hadn't heard Sam's thoughts again, but since that one time, she could sense his presence in her mind as clearly as she could Dean's. That terrified her somewhat. This was the sort of thing she would've confided to Bobby, and he would've advised her what to do. But with him gone, she had no one.

Sam walked away from the pyre and back to the cabin. Dean didn't follow his younger brother. Instead, he went in the opposite direction, deeper into the woods. Allegra watched him lean against a tree a bit further ahead. She bit her lip, torn on what she should do.
The voice in her head told her to leave him alone and wait for him outside the cabin so they could talk then. But her heart pushed her to at least check on him. Slowly, Allegra made her way over to Dean. She stopped near a tree across from him. He didn't look up at Allegra, but he did know she was there.

"The hell are you still doing here?" Angry resentment dripped from his voice

"Dean, please..."

"I don't want you here, Allegra! So go on, leave! It's what you're so damn good at!"

Allegra shrank back at his rage. But she didn't move away. She couldn't.

"I tried, Dean," she whispered. "I tried to save him."

Dean's jerked to her. Hooded eyes glared threateningly at her. Suddenly, he stood right before Allegra and pushed her against the tree. She yelped as his fingers dug into her shoulders.

"Don't you dare talk about Bobby!" he hissed. "If you had been there with us, he might still be alive! But you don't care, do you?! You'd rather forget all about us and stick with those goddamn angels!"

"No, that's not true!" Allegra struggled, but he had too firm a grip on her. "Dean, please, let go, you're hurting me!"

He loosened his grip but didn't release her. She took hold of his arms and met his hard look. 

"I was wrong to believe they could change, I know that. After everything that happened with Castiel, I held hope that maybe they would be willing to listen and help. But they only want me for Michael. They tried to use my pain over you, over us, hoping I would allow them to erase you from my memory so that I would be more complicent. But I would rather feel that pain than go a single day without knowing you."

Tears welled up in Allegra's eyes. She pressed her lips together to stifle a sob. 

"Dean, I was ready to make a deal with Death. Bobby's life for an equal life. Any life he named. I was ready to kill an innocent for Bobby if that meant he could live, but when Death named you... I can't give you up! Because I love you too damn much to lose you, Dean Winchester."

Allegra hung her head as her voice broke. She couldn't bear to see his angry and betrayed expression. Especially not since she was the cause of it. But then, she felt Dean pulling her closer to him. She raised her head a mere second before his mouth crashed on hers. Allegra's eyes widened in surprise but then fluttered shut as she felt that amazing fuzziness she always felt when he kissed her. She put her arms around his neck, allowing Dean to push her body against each his.
The kiss broke off and their eyes met briefly. Dean's nose gently touched her own before he caught her lips again. This time, Allegra was ready for him. She responded to him with hunger, and when she felt Dean's tongue trace her lips, she opened her mouth to him. He slipped in. Her tongue met his, and they began to dance just like they had done so many times before. Their bodies moved on their own from then.

Allegra raked her hands through Dean's soft hair. He traced her upper body all the way to her hips and then further down to her thighs. Realizing Dean's intent, Allegra moved her hands to his shoulders and jumped up. Her legs swung around his waist, and Dean's body moved even closer against her as he pushed her back against the tree. 
Their kisses became more and more passionate. Allegra gave a small gasp as she felt Dean's growing bulge pressing against her core, even through the fabric of their clothes. Without thinking about what it might lead to, she began to fumble at his pants with one hand. But just as she was about to lower the zipper, Dean stopped her by grabbing her hand. The ache she felt when she no longer felt his lips on hers was indescribable. 

"Dammit," he cursed under his breath as he leaned his forehead against hers.

"Dean, it's okay," whispered Allegra. "We can..."

"Can we?" He looked up at her. "Did you find a way whilst you were up there?"

Allegra lowered her eyes. Of course, he would want to do that. And she nearly let him. She'd been so desperate to feel his touch that she forgot about the prophecy. She forgot that... they couldn't. Dean read her expression and sighed.

"This isn't enough, Allegra. For either of us. It never was. We're kidding ourselves if we say it is."

He released her, and Allegra's feet touched the ground again. She clung to him, refusing to let go.

"We'll find a way, Dean," she said, trying to convince him (and herself too). "We said we would. We just have to keep looking."

"Allegra, face it. You'll never be mine."

"But I'm already yours. Dean, please..."

He averted his eyes.

"We're going after the bastard that killed Bobby. Leviathans are still after you, so you need to leave. Go to Jody's; she knows how to kill'em."

Allegra stared at him. 

"Dean, you... you can't ask me to... to leave," she stammered. "Not now. Not after..."

"Allegra, I'm not asking, I'm telling. Stay with Jody. See if... See if you can find a way. For us."

He faced her again and smiled weakly.

"I'll take care of the monsters, but I can't do that if I'm also worried about you. I don't want you to get hurt. And I'll feel better knowing you're working on our future together."

Allegra bit her lip. As much as she wanted to believe him, there was something about the way he spoke to her. His anger had changed to lust, but now he was distant again. It scared Allegra. She took his face in her hands.

"Promise me you'll be careful."

"Always."

"I mean it, Dean. I... I love you."

Allegra waited for him to say those stupid words. That shallow Han Solo reply drove her crazy, but it also reassured her he loved her, even if he wouldn't say it at loud. But Dean stayed silent. He just gave her another smile, another nod. She kissed his lips hesitantly.
He didn't kiss her back.