The angels welcomed Allegra with open arms. Well, most of them, anyway. Some were a bit reluctant, considering she resisted them these past years, but Naomi told them to let bygones be bygones. What had happened in the past should stay in the past. This was an opportunity for them all to move forward. They would work together, learn from each other, and become the family God had intended them to be.

Naomi brought Allegra to a forest where a path illuminated by lanterns led up to her new home. The two-story treehouse didn't seem that big when looking at it from the outside, but it was just huge. No doors, though. Every room crossed smoothly into the next one. Kitchen, living room, bathroom, all the basics were there and more too. There was a music room with a piano and violin, which Allegra carefully touched as she walked past it, and an entire case filled with CDs, sorted by genre and then again by singer, band, or composer. The upstairs was one big room with her bed and an entirely new wardrobe. And thousands and thousands of books. 
If Allegra could've wished for any home to live in, this would probably be it (with some slight alterations in the decor here and there and maritime scenery instead of a forest, but whatever). It really was Heaven. But despite the prospect of a new home and somewhere she could belong, Allegra still felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest.

After Naomi left her alone, Allegra randomly reached for something that appeared comfortable to wear and then crawled into bed, the soft sheets and feather pillow creating a warm cozy shell for her to retreat in. Hidden, alone and (hopefully) finally safe, she closed her eyes. But she didn't sleep. If she slept, she would no doubt dream about him and about how it could've been. And then she would wake up to find Dean wasn't with her and that the nightmare was, in fact, real, and the blissful dream was nothing more than that.

***

"Focus on your breathing, Allegra," said Naomi as she stepped around her. "Calmly. In... and out. Better. Now try again."

Allegra dug deep inside her to reach her grace and awaken it, but once again, she came out with nothing.

"You're not concentrating," reprimanded the angel behind her.

"I am, Naomi! It's just not working this way. I'm not feeling what I felt when my grace surfaced before. This whole meditation thing isn't gonna cut it."

"It's not working because you're not thinking about your grace. You're still thinking about Dean Winchester."

Allegra felt Naomi's eyes burning in her back. She wouldn't admit it out loud, but the angel was right. She was thinking about Dean. And about Sam and Bobby too. Part of her wanted to return to them. But the voice of reason in her head (and also Naomi's) told her to stay up in Heaven, where she was safe and where she could learn more about her grace and powers.

"Allegra, look at me."

She turned around with a sigh. She expected Naomi to give her a lecture or something, but instead, she saw what could almost be described as a sympathetic expression.

"Tell me about him," said Naomi.

Well, she sure hadn't seen that one coming.

"What?"

"Tell me about Dean. I don't mean how you met or the things you've been through together; I know most of that. I want to know what he is to you."

Allegra sat down on the first step of the bridge leading up to her house and put her hair behind her ear.

"Dean's... well, I'm not sure how to explain this." She pondered, searching for a good way to illustrate her words. "Do you know what a movie is? Or a fairy tale?"

"I am familiar with both, yes." Naomi smiled.

"Some movies and fairy tales are about finding this thing called true love. People spend their whole life looking for that one person that makes their heart skip a beat. You wanna do lovey-dovey stuff, like hold hands and kiss whenever you can and sing out loud. Well, the singing maybe not so much in real life, but you get the picture. The more modern fairy tales involve princesses being trapped in a curse until the one they truly love, someone they sometimes don't even know, comes and kisses them awake. It's stupid and completely sickening... But it's what most people want, even if they won't admit it. To be near someone who sweeps you off your feet and who can break the spell the wicked witch puts on you. Only that person matters in your life. But what the modern fairy tales and most of those romance movies don't tell you is that when you lose your true love... it hurts. Not like getting wounded or having a headache or something. It hurts in here."

Allegra clutched her fist against her chest.

"You feel as if your heart gets snatched out of your chest and crushed into a million tiny pieces. You miss the person you lost so much that you see him everywhere, hear his voice in each sound you hear, and he fills your thoughts and dreams."

Naomi stayed silent but had a pensive look on her face. Angels and feelings... If only God had put those two together.

"My heart has been broken too many times before," continued Allegra. "It gets harder to put the pieces back together. For years, I tried to fight my feelings to save myself from the pain, but Dean... He was it. My Han Solo. My Jack Dawson. I know you don't understand those references, but believe me, you would agree with me if you'd seen those movies. He is just like them. More Solo than Dawson, but still... I let my heart guide me because I was foolish enough to believe he was my true love. My mistake."

"Maybe not."

Allegra looked up in surprise when she heard Naomi say those words.

"Some things are worth risking everything for," she said. "Especially when your heart tells you it is the right path."

Well, that's a first. Maybe there's hope for the angels after all.

"But your heart will not help us here. With the aid of some of the others, we could simply erase Dean and the pain he has caused you out of your mind and heart. Then you will be able to focus completely on the task at hand."

Never mind.

"You're not erasing anyone or anything, Naomi." 

"You may feel that way now, but I strongly advise..."

"And I'm strongly advising you to drop it!" 

Allegra pushed herself up to her feet, a menacing glare in her eyes as she looked at Naomi. They stood only a few inches away from each other. Both women put on their most intimidating faces, but neither would budge. Eventually, it was Naomi who spoke first.

"Very well. But I suggest you find some way to forget about Dean Winchester. He no longer needs you. But we do, Allegra. You are the only Archangel left. Until Michael returns, and he will return, you are all we have, as you yourself said before. I would like to see you lead us but know that I will not allow your human side to further infect the purity you have within you. Step out of line, and you will be dealt with."

***

"I can't talk to you right now, Dean. I can't even be around you right now! I think... I think you should just go on without me."

Dean stared incredulously at his brother. Was he seriously taking off because of a monster he killed? What the hell was it with Sam and falling for the bad girls? First demon bitch Ruby and now this chick Amy he'd known to be a friggin' kitsune since he was a teenager! Dean had only done what he had been trained to do - kill the monster. What the hell was Sam getting so worked up about? But hey, if his brother wanted some alone time, who was he to stop him?

"All right. Sorry, Sam."

Dean turned back to the Impala and got in. He watched Sam walk away with his duffel and then drove off in the opposite direction. Cranking up the music, he drove back to Bobby's (now Rufus' cabin). He had the window down and floored the gas to feel the wind.

I have nothing to feel guilty about, he said to himself. She was a monster. She killed people. I did what I had to do. If Sammy can't handle it, that's his problem. I have absolutely no-...

"Son of a bitch!"

Dean hit the cassette player with the palm of his hand, trying to make the song stop. He was getting tired of hearing that damn Foreigner song every single drive he took. It came up no matter what cassette was in, and even when there was no cassette in at all! It was like the universe was trying to send him a message or something. He pulled over and turned the engine off, sick of it all. Sam's behavior, Bobby's nagging, Allegra's... He leaned back and groaned.
Sam had called Allegra a monster once and had insisted Dean killed her. But he hadn't. Because he had stubbornly told Sam she was good and just a victim in a cruel game. He began to understand why his brother had reacted the way he had. Allegra had undoubtedly killed more innocent people than Amy had with her plagues.  
If they hadn't been dating, if they hadn't known each other, if she'd just been a random stranger with immense powers who proved a threat... He would've killed her. Because that's what a Hunter does.

Goddammit! Way to go, Winchester. Ya sure know how to screw everything up.

Dean's eyes wandered off into the distance. He'd pulled over in a small pick-nick area. It reminded him a little of where he'd taken Allegra when they...

Oh, you've gotta be kiddin' me! Come on, pull yourself together!

He willed himself to stop thinking about her. Allegra could probably still hear his thoughts. Not that she did anything with it. She could come to him anytime she wanted to. But she hadn't reached out to him once these past few weeks. 
Dean tried to convince himself they were better off apart, but he couldn't deny he desperately wanted to know if she was doing okay and if she had found somewhere safe to stay, away from the Leviathans and that bastard, Crowley. Even more, he wanted to see her. Hold her. Kiss her. But Dean knew he'd lost her. The way she'd looked at him at the cabin... He broke her heart. Allegra deserved better than him. The best he could do was forget she'd ever been his. But how could he? 

Everything reminded Dean of Allegra. It wasn't just the song playing over and over again; it was little things too. Like the scarf she left behind in the back of the Impala (Dean kept it tucked away in the trunk, next to Castiel's trench coat). Or the necklace he bought her, stashed out of sight in the glove compartment, next to the demonic sterilization juice Crowley gave her. Or even something as stupid as seeing a pair of angel wings on a bar sign. 
Dean couldn't escape her. A part of him didn't want to just leave it all behind. He had never felt something like this before, for anyone. His only good example of love was his parents. And that had ended abruptly when his mother had been killed in a fire in Sam's nursery. His dad had never been the same after that. Dean felt a whole new kind of respect for his old man. Allegra may not be dead, but she wasn't with him. Living without the person you cared for most... was a pretty crappy feeling.

***

It felt like she'd been in Heaven for only a few days, but Allegra knew it must've been weeks now. Castiel once told her time worked differently up here, just like it did in Hell, really. If it weren't for the pattern in Dean's thoughts, Allegra probably wouldn't have noticed. The quiet minutes were the hours he was asleep. And when he wasn't sleeping, Dean seemed to only think of her. 
Allegra knew he wasn't intentionally doing so, but it wasn't so much when she heard him that bothered her, but what she heard. She didn't know what to make of Dean's thoughts. They were sad and angry and remorseful. But she didn't hear the words she needed to hear. Those three stupid words. 

She was left empty and broken once again. Gabriel, Eric, Dean... The only thing she got in return for loving each of them was heartache. Gabriel, the caring father who abandoned her. Eric, her first love, died because of her. And Dean... He was the one that hurt the most. The man she helped bring back to life, whose soul she helped safe, and whom she felt so connected to. But no more. Allegra's tears for him had dried. She had none left to cry. And she would never allow herself to fall in love again. Never again.

"A-Allegra? You there?"

Allegra's head jerked up as she heard a familiar voice inside her mind. 

"Dean always said he just had to think about you, and you would hear him, but I wouldn't be surprised if he was yanking my chain. But I-I don't know. I guess I just wanted to try. I'm not sure if I'm doing this right, but thinking about you and praying to an angel doesn't seem that different. I mean, how could it? You are an angel. And I'm... I'm rambling to myself... Great, I really am losing my mind."

She stood perplexed. How the hell was she hearing Sam Winchester's thoughts? She hadn't opened her mind to him. Not once. Besides the angels, she had only ever let Dean's thoughts reach her. That's how it worked; she had to allow it. Or that's what the Archangel, what Michael, told her when he had saved her from Hell. How was Sam doing this?

"Look, I just... Something happened. Nothing bad! It involved a wedding, actually. Long story, you would've laughed if you'd been there. It got me thinking about... about you. Ever since I got my soul back, it's like I... I don't know; I woke up from a dream or something. I saw you, and I've been feeling... like... Gah, you know what? Forget you heard me. If you heard me. Stay safe. Bye. Or Amen? Okay, I've officially lost it. Bye."

After it grew silent again and Allegra got over the first shock of hearing Sam in her head, she found herself smiling at his awkwardness. Sam had changed so much these past years. From being controlled by Ruby and then literally by Lucifer to not having his soul and then becoming (or going back to being, rather) this kind person. He was the same as Dean somehow and yet so different. More... human, maybe? Allegra couldn't help but wonder; what if she met Sam first?

***

"Sammy! Come on, let's go!" yelled Dean. "Bobby's meeting us in New Jersey."

"Yeah, I'm coming!"

Sam looked at his reflection in the mirror. Dean would kill him if he knew he had just tried to send his thoughts to Allegra. But after what had happened with their superfan Becky in Vegas, it was a risk worth taking. It's not like they were still dating. Or maybe they were? They hadn't officially broken up, but since Allegra had gone to God knows where and Dean was back to being his jerk self, it was safe to say they weren't together anymore. 
Being married, even fake married, had made Sam think about having a family again. He hadn't done that since Jessica, his college girlfriend, who'd been killed by the same demon that killed Mary Winchester. Sam realized that he was in love with Allegra some time ago, but he had kept it hidden from everyone. Or he had tried to anyway. 

When he had kissed her that one time, it had planted jealousy in Dean. Maybe it had already been there. He hadn't exactly been okay with the whole Lucifer thing that happened. Sam was certain it was part of the reason they were apart now. Dean blamed Allegra for caring about Sam. He couldn't believe she was just worried, and she was just a friend. But that was the problem right there. Sam didn't see Allegra as a friend anymore. And he silently hoped she would change her mind about him as well. Sure, it would suck for Dean, but really, what had he brought into that relationship?

His brother didn't know Allegra liked to read. Like, really read. Sam caught her with some Edgar Allen Poe stories and Moby Dick. He had attempted to read that damn book three times himself but had always given up. Allegra just waltzed through it in one lazy afternoon at Bobby's. 
And Dean didn't know she was afraid of clowns like he was. Or that she could play an instrument. Sam suspected piano by how her fingers had moved along to the music playing in the ME office when they went to see a body during one of their cases a couple of months ago.

Sam promised himself he wouldn't hide it anymore. Dean knew. Allegra should know as well. Then she could choose between them. It might be crazy to think that she would pick him when she'd been with his brother, but he wasn't that bad of a catch. It might actually work out between them.

"God, I am seriously losing my mind," Sam said to himself.

"Ain't that the truth of it."

He recoiled when he saw his reflection in the mirror talk back. Mirror-Sam grinned and then faded into someone else. The devil inside his mind.

"Get out of my head," hissed Sam.

"No can do, Sammy boy," said Lucifer. "You know, I think it's sweet that you're holding out hope. After all, if Allegra picks you, she picks me too. And we already know she likes me."

"Get out of my head!"

The bathroom door opened behind Sam, and he whirled round to find his brother staring at him.

"Dude, you okay?" asked Dean. "I heard screaming."

"I'm fine," lied Sam. "I thought we were in a hurry. Come on. Bobby's waiting."

***

"Allegra! Allegra, we need you!"

Allegra's eyes shot open when she heard Dean's alarmed voice. The book she'd been reading before falling asleep on the bed dropped to the floor when she got up. Something was wrong. Dean wouldn't call out to her like this. Not unless he was in trouble.

"Allegra, please! It's Bobby!"

Bobby... Allegra didn't hesitate. She grabbed her jacket, strapped her knife and Archangelblade to her leg, and focused on Bobby's soul. Where the hell was he? Why couldn't sh-there! There he was! But he was... God, no! 
Allegra dug deep and wrapped her shield around the Hunter's soul to buy them some time. But even if she got to him, how the hell could she save Bobby Singer from dying?