Dean drove like a madman to get Sam back to the motel room. His brother was still unconscious, making it easier for Dean to hog-tie him to a chair. He was pretty sure he broke Sam's nose, but he really couldn't care less. He was just so pissed off at Sam and himself. Why had he just dropped his suspicions earlier? No one gets back from the fiery pit just like that. He hadn't, so why believe Sam would get a free pass? Idiot!

Dean reached for the bottle of whiskey he bought after his talk with Allegra the other night and poured himself a glass full. The alcohol burned his throat as he gulped it down all at once. He poured a second glass, fully intent on finishing the bottle in under a minute. The glass went to his mouth, but Dean slowly lowered his hand again when he saw Allegra appearing across from him. He honestly hadn't expected her to come. He thought she would've run away like she always did when things became too personal. Though, in this particular case, he wouldn't have blamed her. In fact, he might've done the same if it had been him.
Veritas had made her say she loved Dean. And since the Goddess hadn't had the same reaction with Allegra as she had with Sam, it meant she was human enough to be bound by the same rules all other humans were. So when she said she loved Dean, it had been the honest truth, which made everything so much worse. 

"You came." Dean leaned back against the dresser.

"I said I would," replied Allegra.

"You say a lot of things."

It came out a lot harsher than Dean had meant to. He put his glass on the dresser and looked back up at Allegra. She had her face turned away from him, visibly ashamed to look at him.

"Since when?"

"The hospital," whispered Allegra in response. "After Alastair."

Dean stared at her in disbelief.

"Three years? You've loved me for three years? Why the hell didn't you tell me?!"

He sighed at her silence and dragged a hand across his face. He knew why, of course. And he was so sick and tired of that being the eternal excuse between them.

"You really gone let those feathered douchebags control you for the rest of your life?"

"It's not them, Dean. Not this. This is something else."

"Something what? Allegra, you're not making any sense at all!"

Allegra finally looked up at Dean. Her stricken expression almost moved him right toward her. Almost...

"I know I don't, okay? Nothing makes sense in my life. It's just one big mess that gets worse every goddamn day. I wish I were normal, a regular human girl like all the others. I wish I didn't have to hide this from you 'cause it kills me, Dean. It kills me to love you. And it breaks my heart to push you away because I want nothing else than to be with you."

"Then be with me, dammit!"

"I CAN'T!"

She broke down in tears.

"I'm sorry, Dean." Her dejected voice cut right through him. "But we can never be together. I'm not allowed to be with anyone. And I refuse to lose you too."

"What the hell is that supp- no, wait!"

But Allegra was already gone, leaving Dean alone with a still-unconscious Sam.

"Allegra, come back. I know you can hear me. Allegra!"

"Dammit!"

He reached for his glass and threw it across the room. It shattered against the wall, spilling whiskey all over the wallpaper. He rubbed his eyes in frustration. Then, he resolutely decided to speak to the one person who might know what the hell Allegra was going on about. He needed him here for Sam anyway.

"I pray to Castiel. Cas, get your ass down here. Something's up with Sam. And Allegra. I need help with her too."

It barely took a second for Castiel to appear in the room. The trench-coat-wearing angel nodded in greeting.

"Hello."

"Yeah, whatever." Dean couldn't help but sound irritated. "Look, I'm gonna cut straight to the chase here; why isn't Allegra allowed to love anyone?"

"I... I don't know what you're talking about."

But that brief hesitation and Castiel looking away as he spoke betrayed that he knew exactly what Dean was talking about.

"You know what, cut the crap, okay?! I know you and your buddies are watching Allegra; you always are. You know she was here, and you know what we were talking about. I need an answer, Cas, and I'm not gonna ask again."

He glared dangerously at Castiel, but the angel only tilted his head at him, eyes squinted to an inquiring slit.

"You feel strongly about this. Why?"

Dean scoffed.

"Why? Seriously? You're playing with her like she's a freaking puppet, that's why! Pulling at her strings, making her go one way and then the other, treating her like crap! You're making her do things she doesn't want to do, forcing her to hurt others, to hurt herself. She's lived alone and miserably ever since that bastard Gabriel left her to fend for herself. Allegra has nothing a woman her age should have. No home, no real job, no family, no friends... She's stuck with Bobby and us, for crying out loud! She's terrified of being close to anyone, of being with me and..."

"Is that what you want?" interrupted Castiel. "For her to be with you?"

"No, that's not... Dammit, she's a person, Cas! God may have created her, but He still put her here with us instead of up there with you. Allegra's not like you. She eats, sleeps, and feels just like the rest of us. Pain, joy, sadness, she feels every good and every crappy thing there is to feel. You can't expect her not to feel love, okay? You can't expect her not to fall in love. Emotions can't just be switched off. It doesn't work that way!"

Dean was about ready to kick the angel's ass for acting all innocent and ignorant. But seeing how he still needed Castiel for Sam, that might not be the best idea. He forced himself to stay calm and took a deep breath.

"Allegra once told me she would never forgive herself if I died because of her. And just now, she said she refused to lose me too. I know she pushed me away to protect me, but I still don't know from what. Why did she say those things?"

Castiel averted his gaze from Dean.

"You should ask Allegra this question," he said.

"I did, and she shuts down, so I'm asking you. And you're damn well gonna answer me."

There was an uncomfortable silence between the angel and the Hunter, but eventually, Castiel sighed and faced Dean again.

"She accidentally killed a young man when she was 18 years old. I'm not familiar with the details. All I know is he was her lover."

"How?" asked Dean. "Plague gone wrong? She lose control or something?"

"I don't know, Dean. None of us do. The Archangels are the only ones who know what truly happened that night. I only know part of the story because Gabriel told me of the incident before his death."

"If the Archangels knew, why the hell didn't they stop it from happening? Why didn't they bring the guy back?"

But Castiel merely gave a small shrug with his shoulders. Dean ran his hands through his hair, scratching his scalp (something he picked up from being around Bobby too much). It all started to make more sense now. Allegra loved someone when she was young, and then she killed him, probably with her powers. Now she'd gotten it into her head that she couldn't love anyone else, or she would end up killing her next lover too. She was depriving herself of love out of fear. 
He had to find a way to convince her that wasn't going to happen. Not with him. And besides, he died so many times already, he wasn't about to let the possibility of dying stop him. Demons and other baddies were coming after him all the time. This was just another item for the 'million ways to die'-list. Even if something did go wrong and Allegra did accidentally kill him, he would find a way to come back. With or without help.

"Does you knowing this make it better?" asked Castiel suddenly, eying Dean curiously.

"I'm not sure," he replied truthfully. "But at least I get it now. I just... I wish I could take it all away."

"Because you love her."

It wasn't a question but a statement. One Dean didn't want to deny. But neither could he bring himself to confirm it. It was both amazing and ridiculous how three simple little words like 'I love you' could have such an effect on someone.  

"If there is nothing else about Allegra you wish to discuss, we should focus on your brother now."

"Yeah... Yeah, let's deal with Sam."

Dean began to tell Castiel what happened with Veritas. When the angel moved towards his brother to wake him up, Dean's mind wandered to the woman who killed her lover and who was probably the most dangerous being on Earth. The woman who had been forced to say she loved him and who had hidden that love for years. The woman who had managed to find a way into Dean Winchester's heart.

***

After that fiasco, Allegra immediately returned to her shabby shelter in the bayou. She wiped her tears away and hardened her heart before she put herself to work. Now wasn't the time to show any weakness. 

Allegra moved the trough holding Veritas' body into the other room. drew the Enochian summoning sigil and lit four candles on each quarter of the sigil. She prepared the herb mixture to summon the angel and then drew enough of the Goddess' blood for her spell to take effect. She glared at the vial in her hand, wishing she had some whiskey at hand. It would make it a hell of a lot easier to drink. Actually, no, what she really wished was that she'd come up with a better plan than this to force a celestial being to tell her the truth.
Allegra closed her eyes and gulped the tincture now holding Veritas' blood down, disgusted at the taste. She sat down in front of the sigil. Dean's lighter (which she forgot to return but now came in handy) trembled in her hand. With a final deep breath, she lit up the bowl and thought of the angel. He appeared almost instantly and actually looked stunned when he saw she was the one who summoned her.

"What the devil do you think you're doing?" demanded Balthazar.

"We still need to finish our little chat," answered Allegra calmly as she got to her feet.

She watched Balthazar scoff and rightfully assumed he was trying to teleport away. But she had, of course, expected that. Allegra pointed up to the ceiling at his quizzical look. The entrapment rune in her blood right above the summoning sigil had been one of the first things she drew when picking the shack as a safe house. It had sprung the moment Balthazar appeared in the room.

"And just for good measure..." 

Allegra flicked Dean's lighter to the floor. Flames spread rapidly around the angel, creating a circle of fire. Balthazar's eyes widened in horror as he realized how utterly screwed he was.

"Holy oil. Try all you want, but you're not going anywhere until you tell me the truth."

That kicked in part two of Allegra's plan; Veritas' curse. Sure, the Goddess may be dead, but her body was in the room. And if Veritas' was powerful enough to make a hybrid-Archangel talk, a normal angel in a human vessel would fall under the same trap. 
Allegra had read dozens, if not hundreds, of books on witchcraft, spellcasting, runes, and potion-making in search of ways to defend herself from demons without using her powers. And she remembered a particular mixture that came in quite handy right now. It was normally used to take over a witch's powers, but it basically worked with any being wielding magic. So also a Goddess.
With Veritas' blood coursing through her now, Balthazar had no choice but to obey her. She should have about an hour or so before it would wear off, so time was of the essence. He sniggered when he looked about the room and put the pieces together.

"Oh, well done," he applauded. "I'm not easily impressed, but you've actually managed to pull it off. I'm assuming you've also taken precautions against unwanted interruptions?"

"We'll have more than enough time," said Allegra. "I'll let you go as soon as I have what I need from you, I promise."

The trapped angel grunted and huffed. But he knew she was right. There was nothing he could do to fight her. He was trapped under the rune and inside a circle of holy oil. He knew he wouldn't be able to resist an order from an Archangel now wielding the powers of a Goddess. He sighed, admitting his defeat.

"What do you want to know?"

"You said you were the one who gave the scroll to Crowley. Why did you do that?"

"Gabriel."

Of all the things Balthazar could've said, Allegra never expected to hear that name.

"I'm sorry, Gabriel?" She crossed her arms. "What does he have to do with it?"

"He knew the prophecy was guarded in Heaven with all the other goodies and asked me to give it to you via Crowley. Gabriel made a deal with him back when Crowley was still just a Crossroadsdemon, about 30'ish years ago. Asked me to be a witness."

"But that's when..."

"When he became your father, indeed. You see, Gabriel wasn't happy about being pulled back into the family through you. He was even more unhappy about the fact that he couldn't tell you anything about your destiny and that you had to be kept in the dark for as long as possible. He had you for less than a day, and he already loved you, shockingly enough. So he did the one thing no one expected any Archangel to do; he asked a demon for help. In exchange for a vial of Gabriel's blood, which I strongly advised against, Crowley would protect you and give you the scroll, provided by myself, after your 13th birthday."

Allegra's head was reeling. She tried to make sense of any of it but really, how could she? It was bad enough Gabriel was involved again, but that he had actually been the one who had orchestrated this from the minute he became her father was just too ludicrous for words.

You son of bitch... Why do you keep ruining my life even after you're dead?! 

"Why did it take so long for me to get the scroll?" she demanded.

"Darling, have you ever been inside Heaven's vault? Better boobytraps than the tomb of King Tut and the Temple of Doom put together. I tried to get that damn thing several times, but the Archangels, Michael especially, were becoming suspicious of my actions. I had to bide my time. Michael and Lucifer getting kicked out of the equation by the Winchesters was a stroke of luck. I was fed up with the regime anyway, so my little rebellion helped mask my true purpose; get the scroll to Crowley by putting it on the market and then use the Staff to get to you."

Allegra shot Balthazar a vicious glare.

"You have any idea what that thing caused? What I did because of it?"

"I know. And I'm sorry for having done that, but as I said when we first met, I couldn't contact you directly. I knew the Staff would get your attention. Believe me; I had no idea Castiel was going to make you do that. Letting Winchester pass the fire to give you some backup was the only thing I could do to help."

Allegra bit her lip and shook her head. She couldn't allow her thoughts to get distracted by Dean. Not now.

"You said Gabriel's deal with Crowley included protection," she said. "But Crowley's never done anything for me. I didn't even know him until a couple of years ago."

"No, he wouldn't, would he?" Balthazar's mouth curled up into a little grin. "Not without getting something in return. Like another deal, perhaps?"

Allegra's arms dropped to the side of her body.

That slimy, no-good, double-crossing...

"Gabriel correctly guessed Crowley wouldn't just hand over the scroll but that he would make it part of a deal," continued Balthazar. "One you couldn't refuse since you'd want to know everything about yourself the minute you found out there was more to you than we were telling you. Gabriel counted on him to ask you for protection since that would work brilliantly with rule number one in Crowley's book; guard your investments. If you get hurt or die, then his golden ticket disappears, doesn't it? He'll protect you to protect himself, thus honoring the first deal he made with Gabriel and the second deal he made with you."

Allegra was seriously pissed-off now. Blind rage boiled inside her. All because of that goddamn bastard. Gabriel was the master puppeteer of the sick mess that was her life, and she would never be free of him, no matter what she did.

"So, are we done now?" Balthazar asked then in an annoyed voice.

"Not yet. What about the child?"

"I'm sorry?"

"'Forget what we've done. We need that child to be on our side.' That's what you said. What child were you talking about?"

Balthazar groaned and clicked his tongue.

"I was hoping you didn't remember that. Very well, then... How much of the scroll have you translated so far?"

"Almost all of it," answered Allegra. "But I didn't find anything on any child yet."

"Yeah, that's at the very end. In short, your child by either Lucifer or Michael is destined to be born a Seraph, a very rare type of angel who stands directly below God, if not at His side. The plagues would pass on to your son or daughter. You've already used your powers on us, we're not immune to them despite being 'related'. And as long as your human side is holding back your grace, you can't do any real damage to us, like, say, kill us. But a Seraph, however, has unlimited power from the moment it is born, even if trapped in a human vessel. Meaning all beings, supernatural and mortal, are screwed, including..."

"Including angels and Archangels," finished Allegra as she began to understand Balthazar's fear. "Which is why you were urging me to pick Michael. 'Cause with him as the father, there'd be less chance of you getting your asses kicked."

Great, just freaking great... The blows just keep on coming.

"What if I got pregnant from someone else?" Allegra asked, hoping he wouldn't know about that little thing.

"Nice try, darling, but we both know that's not possible. You can't physically be with anyone else, and I'm fairly certain that's also mentioned somewhere in that scroll. You're being kept pure for either Michael or Lucifer. Even if you did find a way out of that very unlucky restriction, only one of those two can put a bun in your oven. And I can guarantee they won't stop trying to get to you. Lucifer already proved that with the Winchester boy."

"Prophecies come true," Allegra whispered as she was unwillingly reminded of what had happened between her and Sam.

Balthazar shrugged.

"Nothing to be done, darling. Best just accept that and pick the right guy when the time comes."

Allegra cast her eyes up at him in defiance.

"I make my own destiny. I'll find a way out."

She reached down to pick up a bag at her feet and dropped its contents on the fire, walking around the circle at a slow pace. Then she reached up and scratched away part of the entrapment rune on the low ceiling with her knife.

"Go," she told Balthazar.

But the angel lingered, staring intently at Allegra. There was something about his gaze that lay between interest and respect.

"Seems we've severely underestimated you. I'm curious to see if you can actually pull it off. Good luck."

And with that, he was gone.

There has to be a loophole, thought Allegra. I have to find a way out of this... I'll find the way, Dean.