**LIVE

--LOCAL MAN FOUND IN THE RIVER--

MAN CAUGHT IN NET CLAIMS THAT HE WASN'T ATTEMPTING SUICIDE

Kunikida: *Rubbing his temples* So that what that bastard Dazai is been up to of not showing in the agency lately.

Miyazawa: Yay! Dazai is on the TV, he's pretty famous now.

Atsushi: Famous for being a useless member of the society.

*They are apparently watching news