~Chapter 35~

~Sake~

"Tobi doesn't want to!!"

"You lost! You have to!"

"But Tobi will be violated!"

"If you don't do it I will for you!"

"You just wanna touch Tobi!"

"Tobi! She's mine, un!!"

"Shut up, Dei-dei! Tobi can be sexy when he wants!"

All the Akatsuki members snapped their head towards me and I rose an eyebrow, holding up my bottle of sake.

"Don't listen to me, I'm buzzed."

They rolled their eyes and I set the bottle down before launching myself at Tobi. Apparently, once a year the entire Akatsuki would all chill out for a week and drink, play cards, strip poker, etc. I had joined the Akatsuki two weeks after their last one so I (unfortunately) wasn't able to experience it.

"Tobi~!"

"Daseki-kun! What are you doing to Tobi!" He whined, struggling as I sat in his lap, my arms curling around his neck and legs around his waist.

"Raping you~!" I cooed, snuggling my face into his neck. He smelled good....like chocolate and coffee.

"Daseki! Rape me instead, yeah!!" Deidara whined.

"Tobi smells better though!" I whined, clutching onto the masked man tighter while Deidara was struggling to pull me away.

"Did you hear that, Deidara-sempai?? Tobi smells good!!" Tobi squealed. I giggled, turning my head to kiss his mask where his cheek would be.

"You're so cute, Tobi-kun~" I cooed. Deidara was scowling, his cheeks flushed from all the sake he's drank as well.

"Kid, how much did you have to drink?" Kisame questioned, looking over at me from where he, Hidan, Itachi and Kakuzu were playing blackjack.

"Tobi, go over to Kisa-chan!" I ordered, giggling.

Tobi sighed but stood up, walking over to the shark. He looked at me curiously before I ordered Tobi to sit beside him.

"Kaku-kun! I wanna join!" I ordered. The masked man eyed me warily, knowing my luck when it came to card games was amazing. He sighed but did as I ordered anyway.

"And to answer you, Kisa-chan, that over there is my ninth bottle." I pointed over to the sake bottle and the sharks eye twitched.

"How the hell are you not passed out?"

"I don't know." I chirped happily, tugging at Deidara's hair as he suddenly sat beside Tobi and then his head hit Tobi's thigh as the manchild sat cross-legged.

"Deidara-sempai?!" Tobi yelled, shaking the blonde.

"Don't worry, Tobi-kun. Deidara had twice as much sake as me so I was waiting for this to happen." I told the masked man, giggling at the end before grabbing my two cards.

"I win!!" I cheered before anyone could say anything as they frowned at their cards. I put down my ace of spades along with the king.

Kakuzu groaned, tossing me the thirty bucks in the center and I grinned, stuffing it into my bra.

Tobi leaned away from me in surprise. "Daseki-chan!!"

I frowned, staring at him with narrowed eyes. "Didn't you lose against me in a chugging contest? I finished my sake, take off your shirt!"

I started pulling at his black shirt while Tobi was protesting loudly and spazzing. "Tobi doesn't wanna!"

"Too bad!" I snapped, still trying to yank up his shirt while he was trying to push it down.

"Shut the fuck up you bastards and either play or get the hell out of here before I fucking sacrifice you to Jashin-sama!!" Hidan hiccuped.

I glanced over at him, grabbing my cards from the table then slamming 'em down. "Blackjack, bitch." I hissed, another ace along with a queen being revealed.

"The hell?!" All the men shouted while I grabbed the fifty bucks in the center and stuffed it into my shirt.

"This is why I hate playing cards against you." Kakuzu sighed.

"We could play strip poker." I suggested. His eye twitched.

"You'd be fully clothed by the end of it!!"

"Is that a bet?" I rose an eyebrow in a challenge while he just sweatdropped.

"You're betting against yourself?" He asked me like I was stupid.

"So?"

He facepalmed before giving out the cards. "How drunk are you?"

"Just buzzed. A few more bottles of sake and I'll be drunk though." He nodded as Tobi also joined in the game and I turned around in his lap, glancing at my cards before hiding them from his view. He also grabbed his cards but looked at them above my head.

"Me and Tobi will be a team!" I declared, smiling happily while Tobi nodded absently, still focused on his cards.

Kisame and Itachi scooted closer while Kakuzu scowled over at Hidan who scoffed and looked away with a pout.

"Royal flush." Itachi announced, making Tobi let out a groan. Kisame cheered and I rolled my eyes.

"Same."

"Tobi's gotta flush!!"

"Same." I stated like Kisame, glancing over at Kakuzu and Hidan as their eyes were twitching.

"Three pair." Kakuzu sighed.

"Nothing, dammit." Hidan grumbled. With a sigh Kakuzu took off his mask while Hidan took off the red muscle shirt he was wearing.

"Next." Kakuzu sighed, collecting all our cards and shuffling the deck.

"Tobi quits!!" Tobi whined, crossing his arms and hunching his naked back. He was only wearing his boxers and mask while I only had my chest wrappings and underwear left. Kisame and Itachi (who had his hair down) were only in their boxers as well as Kakuzu. Hidan was completely naked, having been wearing the least amount of clothes than all of us and obviously had lost.

"Yeah....I'm quitting too." Kisame sighed.

I rolled my eyes, taking a sip of my eleventh bottle of sake, my back leaning against Tobi's side while Deidara's head had somehow found its way onto my lap during the game.

"Are you all quitting?" I questioned and the other two conscience men nodded, Hidan having passed out a minute before.

"Come on, stupid." Kakuzu sighed, throwing Hidan over his shoulder and grabbing their clothes before heading down the hall.

"We're going too." Itachi mumbled, picking up his clothes as Kisame did the same and they followed after Kakuzu.

"Well that's no fun." I muttered, clicking my tongue in disappointment while Tobi sweatdropped.

"Daseki-chan....you're really perverted."

"Blame Make-Out Paradise." Was my only response, tipping my head back and chugging the rest of the sake before turning to Tobi and started poking his stomach.

"You know, you have a really sexy stomach Tobi-kun."

He simply groaned and grabbed my wrist, pulling me away from him. "Daseki-chan, you need to go to bed."

"Nuuuu~" I whined, crawling into his lap and wrapping my arms and his neck and legs around his waist again. He sighed, dropping his head with emo lines appearing over his forehead.

"Evil little bat." Tobi sighed while I giggled.

"That's what my name means!" I pointed out, smiling brightly. Tobi lifted his head to stare at me for a few minutes, his head tilting; after a while I stopped smiling and copied him.

"Dammit." He suddenly growled, his voice deeper than usual and I blinked.

"How many bottles of sake have you had anyway, Tobi-kun?" I asked curiously.

"Two."

I frowned. "That's not a lot."

"I know."

"Your voice is sexy now. What happened?"

"Nothing." Tobi sweatdropped and I frowned before squeaking when he suddenly stood up. My grip on him tightened as he picked up Deidara, lying the blond on the couch while picking up both mine and his clothes.

"Go to your room, Daseki." Tobi ordered but I shook my head childishly, gripping tighter onto the black haired man.

"Daseki doesn't want to!"

Tobi let out a mushroom cloud sigh, turning his head away before he walked down the hallway, his arm wrapping around my waist to keep me from falling.

"Tobi-kun, we're going to your room?" I asked childishly, my head turned so I could see behind me which was, for Tobi's case, in front.

"Hn." Was his only answer, opening his door and closed it, locking it quickly before walking over to the messy bed.

I detached myself from him, happily curling into the sheets and was asleep before I knew it.

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Authors Note

I....I have no idea where this came from....but, whatever. It'll ensure like six more chapters of drunken randomness.

Peace!

~Mew