I sat at Hershel's dinner table, surrounded by the group. We were mourning for our dear friend, Dale. I was the one who saw everything happen, I couldn't save him. I stood there and watched as the walker chewed on his insides. Daryl had to be the one to put him down, everyone sobbed. I couldn't scream nor breathe. I stood there gasping for air, feeling like someone was standing on my chest. I ran away, stumbling on every piece of rock. I fell down and landed hard on my knees, I didn't care about how my knees throbbed with pain and blood ran down my legs. I couldn't breathe.
I shuddered at the thought of Dale's death, remembering it was the worst. I moved my food around not feeling hungry.
"Hey (y/n)." said Daryl sitting down
I gave him a weak smile, I could tell by his face I wasn't looking too good. "Hey."
"Not hungry?" He said pointing at my plate, "Maggie cooks pretty well."
I looked up at Maggie, she gave me a small smile and put some food in her mouth. I nodded.
I excused myself and walked towards the fields.
I could feel someone following me, I turned around and saw Daryl with his crossbow.
"Can't you leave me alone for a damn minute!?"
I instantly regretted it as soon as I said it.
"Don't get your panties in a twist, I'm going huntin'"said Daryl going the opposite way.
I felt so bad so I followed him, I saw him sit down by a fallen tree, letting some tears fall down his face. I sat next to him and rested my head on his shoulder. I started crying with him. It was just us in that moment, forgetting our walls, forgetting our fights. I finally wiped my tears and looked at Daryl. I wiped his tears away with my sleeve.
"I'm sorry."
"Why?" asked Daryl
"I didn't mean to yell at you. This whole thing has me fucked up."
"(Y/n) you don't think I'm going through the same thing? I had to shoot him." choked Daryl
"I know, I just feel like it's my fault. I saw him get eaten and I just stood there. I-I can't."
"Stop, you can't say shit like that. It's not your fault." said Daryl caressing my face
"Will it ever stop? The pain and the thoughts?"
Daryl shook his head and avoided eye contact,"No, but you find ways to distract yourself. I still think about Merle."
"I always think about the past. The people we've lost and will keep losing."
I twirled a piece of yarn from my shirt, I felt him staring at me. I looked at him and he had such a sad expression on his face.
"You ain't gonna lose me" said Daryl
I smirked, "I never want to."