TRIGGER WARNING – PTSD

Three days have passed without a word from my husband. I'd see him at morning meals and dinners, but that was it. He had kept to himself for three days, I tried to speak to him every time I saw him, but he would bow and move on, not even saying my name–I could not say the same for Aegon.

Whether in the morning after breakfast or evening after dinner, he always found his way to my chambers. A few times, I suspected he laced my wine with something, I was asleep during some, bound during others or forced to pleasure him in any way he saw fit, and Aemond didn't even bat an eye my way.

It was the same pattern every time–raped, Moon Tea, pretending to be okay, crying, sleeping, and repeat. For three days, this torture had gone on. Even today, Aemond's sixteenth name day, Aegon had dismissed all the handmaidens from helping me dress and raped me on the cold floor.

I could see the servants of the Red Keep whispering to each other as I walked by, but I held my head high–I would not let this get to me. Most nights, when I couldn't sleep, I found my way to the training yard and practised with the sword, praying that I would be able to defend myself next time. A few times, I also swore I saw Aemond standing above the yard and watching me.

After Aegon had his way with me, I called the handmaidens back into the room. They all looked at me as I gathered myself from the floor and smoothed myself out. I sat at my desk and allowed them to braid my hair, requesting that one of them fetch me some Moon Tea from the maester. They all worked on my hair silently, but I could feel their judgement.

I would not allow any of this to ruin Aemonds' day. He did not need to know, and tonight we both would return to his chambers, and I would allow him to have his way with me, hopefully giving us both child I could pour whatever love I had left into the new babe.

Somebody knocks at my door and enters without waiting; I turn to see who it is, Helaena. She is wearing a light green coloured dress, and her hair is done in braids also. She asks the handmaidens to leave the room, and when they are all gone, she softly closes the door and sits on the couch next to my desk.

Helaena does not say a word, and instead, she takes both my hands in hers, rubbing circles with her thumb. I stare at her hands holding mine, then up at her–what does she want?

No words are exchanged until my Moon Tea is brought to me, and I have finished it all. Helaena stands, grabbing my betrothal necklace from beside the empty cup, and she puts it around my neck, making sure it lays perfectly across my neck.

I stand to look at her, and she takes my hands back into hers. No words are exchanged, but she pulls me into a tight hug, and I cry uncontrollably. Helaena soothes me, singing a lullaby she would sing to her children and rubbing small circles on my back. We stay like this until two kings guards come to collect us both for the beginning of our day.

The first part of the day was a tournament between all the knights that wished to compete for the chance to be promoted to king's guard. After that had concluded, all the lords and ladies invited would come to the throne room for a massive feast–everyone would stay there while Aemond and I had our wedding night.

Helaena and I are led to a booth above the tournament grounds, with two open seats between my husband and hers. I sit next to Aemond, who doesn't look my way until I place a kiss on his left cheek, keeping up appearances.

"Husband," I sneer, clapping as the first two knights make their way onto the jousting grounds, "happy sixteenth name day."

Aemond looks at me, and I look at him. The air is tense, and I can't read his expression. His eyes look over the black and green dress I am wearing, then to the blue sapphire around my neck.

"You look rather gorgeous today, wife," he bits back.

I watch as his hand grabs mine, kissing the top of it–never once does he look away from my face. I yank my hand away from his, turning back to look at the tournament in front of me.

The event proceeds as one would expect; lots of cheering, drinking, blood, and violence. We have now reached the end of the day; the last two knights have come to win or lose. One knight rides up on his horse to the booth and points his lance at me, "if I could have the Princess Visenyas' favour, I would be sure to win."

I smile, grabbing the red wreath of flowers next to me. I go to step forward and give him my favour, but a hand on my elbow stops me in my tracks. I turn to look back at Aemond, his one eye fuming, looking like he's about to be the one to kill the knight.

"Let go," I spit at him, pulling my arm free and continuing to give the knight my favour.

I turn around and glare at Aemond. I sit back next to him and lean in close so only he can hear me, "what is your problem? Tourneys are supposed to be fun."

"I don't give a shit about tourneys," he curses, fuming in his seat.

I look to the knights, seeing the one I gave my favour to has won–I smile. Suck on that, Aemond; that's what you get for being a cunt to me these past three days.

After everything is finished, we are all escorted back to the throne room, where it's been set up to hold many guests. The head table is reserved for the royal family. The King and Queen sit in the middle, Helana and Aegon on the Queen's side and Aemond and I on the King's side.

Throughout the night, many guests congratulate Aemond on becoming a man and us for our union. I thank them all with a friendly smile but Aemond nods at them. He has been so sour as of late, not speaking a word to anyone, not even me.

I feel a hand placed on my shoulder, and I look behind me to see the Queen. "It is time you and my son leave, before everyone get's too drunk to remember you both leaving," the Queen smiles at me, helping me stand from my chair.

I watch as she glares at her son, telling him he must go now. Aemond aggressively stands, catching the attention of a few people sitting close enough to hear. He goes to walk past me, but I quickly grab his hand and smile.

"What are you doing?" He asks, trying to pull his hand away.

I look out to the many table and many guests. I lean close to his ear, making it appear as if I am kissing his cheek, "maintaining appearances, hold my hand until we get back to your chambers."

He looks down at me–I forget how much taller he is than me now. He hums but reluctantly pulls me in close, holding my back to his chest, and I freeze. "If we are both to be left alone, in my chambers, where I keep most my weapons, I could easily end your life," he whispers, brushing one of his hands along my waist.

"Hmm," I hum, turning my face so that more of my skin is exposed to him, "but you wouldn't do it, unless you want to risk a war."

"Maybe I do," he muses, lightly pushing me forward so we can leave the crowd behind.

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Aemond pushes open the door to his chambers for me, letting me inside his room. The fire has kept the room warm and is providing all the light. The colour palette for his room is primarily black, the bed standing out the most with white sheets and animal fur as the blanket.

I turn to him, watching him close the door, sealing us in here alone. I swallow all my anxiety, and my hands start shaking and sweating. I watch as Aemond's one good eye looks at the fireplace; he then walks over and takes a seat–he's ignoring me.

Fine, if this is how it will be, I guess the brothers are more alike than I thought. I turn away from Aemond, reaching behind my back to undo my corset, the tears prickling my eyes. The corset falls from my body onto the floor, and I look at it lying there as I undo the buttons at the front of my dress. I can't believe this is happening.

The dress falls from my body and lands as a heap of fabric at my feet. I try to prevent the sobs from escaping my lips as my body heaves, and I step out of the dress, making my way to the bed.

A hand grabs mine, stopping me. I turn and see Aemond staring at me with a wide eye. "What are doing?" He asks, voice full of anger and pain.

"Fulfilling my duty," I whisper, "to my family, to your family–" I pause, knowing I'll regret my following words– "to you."

"To me?" He questions, dropping my hand and standing tall.

I take a shaky breath in. "Yes, to you Aemond, for the moment we married we made a promise, a promise I am now fulfilling," I said, pulling down the straps to my undergarments.

He quickly grabs my hands and pulls them away, straight into him. "There is no more promise," he whispers, gripping my wrists tightly.

I stare at him, confused. "What do you mean no more promise?" I ask, body shaking under his intense stare.

The fire behind him almost creates a halo around his head. I am so close to him that I can feel his heartbeat and the smell of vanilla and burning wood fills my nose. I'm crumbling again.

"I know you've been seeing someone else," he replies, dropping my wrists finally, "I understand our marriage is only a political one, so I do understand that you would want to hand over your maidenhood to a more deserving candidate."

What? What is he talking about? I was the complete opposite of willing when Aegon stole my virtue. "Aemond I–"

"Visenya stop it," he cuts me off, "I know you've been fucking another man like some common whore." He turns around, pacing back towards the fireplace, "so put your clothes back on and leave."

"Aemond," I chase after him, "it's not like that please, I would never give someone my virtue when it belonged to you."

I place a hand on his shoulder, and he spins around to face me, his jaw clenched tightly and his eye twitching.

"Then what is it like? Am I going to be like your mother and have to claim your bastards as my own? Or do you just want me to fuck you so you can have my children and leave?" He spits in my face and steps closer, making me stumble back and fall.

I land on the cold ground hard, and my back hits the floor. I rested myself in a sitting position and glared at Aemond, tears rolling down my cheeks. His eye softens for a moment, examining me.

"You wouldn't understand," I sob, casting my eyes away from him.

I can see from the corner of my eye that Aemond has knelt in front of me, and I feel him place a hand on my thigh.

"Don't touch me!" I scream at him, scrambling across the floor, pulling my knees close to my chest, and burying my head between my knees.

I can hear him move closer, slow movements as I cry uncontrollably. "Visenya," he whispers.

I look up, Aemond's face blurry from my tears. His hand is outstretched to me, and his eye is soft, like when you'd approach a skittish animal. "Who has hurt you?" He asks, "give me a name, and I will kill them for you."

I shake my head frantically. "I can't, please, don't make me," I said, breathing heavily and sobs rolling off my words.

"You don't have to, not tonight," Aemond whispers, "may I touch you?"

His hand hovers above my hand, and I can feel his body heat radiating off him. I nod, and his touch is gentle, afraid I might run. He holds my hand and strokes my arm gently with his other hand. I know he can see the bruises covering my arms, chest, and legs, but they do not matter now.

"Whoever is doing this," he speaks, "they will not hurt you tonight." He moves and sits at my side, asking permission before he wraps an arm around my shoulder and places his hand on my arm.

"You can sleep here tonight, I will watch over you," he whispers, placing a delicate kiss on my temple.

For a long time, we sit in silence and watch the fire burn. His hands lightly stroke my arms and my shoulder until I am no longer crying. Once I begin to show signs of drowsiness, Aemond helps me stand and tells me I can wear one of his sleeping shirts.

I stand in the middle of the room, shivering from his lack of body heat. He returns with a shirt for me and holds it to me, expecting me to take it from him. "Please," I whisper, "help me."

He looks at me, shocked. I am vulnerable, weak, and tired; I do not have the energy to dress myself. Aemond places the shirt on the bed and grabs onto the straps of my undergarments–I nod and tell him it's okay.

His fingertips gently brush my skin as he slides down my undergarments, exposing me to him. I keep staring at him, waiting for his reaction when he sees the rest of my body. His eye widens when he sees the other marks left upon my body–a few cuts, bruises and some healing wounds that will scare; Aegon was brutal with me.

He quickly averts his eyes from my naked body and grabs the shirt. "Up," he mumbles, and my arms go above my head.

He pulls the shirt down onto my body, covering the brutalities beneath my clothing. He stares into my eyes, and I stare into his eye, a silent exchange between us. I reach one hand up and wrap my fingers around his eye patch, wanting to see the full extent of the damage I had caused so long ago.

He grabs my hand and stops me. "Visenya, no, another time," he said, lowering my hand back to my side but never letting go.

He leads me gently to the bed and pulls back the blanket. I carefully crawl under the blanket, and he pulls it over me, staring at me as he does. He goes to leave, but I quickly sit up and grab his hand tightly. He looks back at me, down at my hand, and back to me.

"Please don't leave my side," I whisper, begging him to protect me from his brother.

Aegon had already had his way with me today, and I didn't want him to find me alone in his brother's bed. I don't think seeing Aemond on the couch would deter him from raping me again. "I can't sleep next to you, Visenya," he said, trying to pull away.

"And why not? We are officially husband and wife now; it would draw more attention if you were not next to me," I tell him, "please."

He shakes his head, "I can't, you are too fragile and I don't think I could stop myself from having you all to myself."

Aemond walks away and sits on the couch next to the fire. A tear rolls down my cheek. I won't be safe tonight, and I don't think I'll ever be safe as long as I am here. Kings Landing is not a safe place for me to stay.

Suddenly Aemond's voice jolts me from my thoughts, "I will be beside you when you wake tomorrow."

I sigh in relief, lying back down within the comforts of Aemonds' bed. It smells exactly like him, and in minutes I am asleep. The nightmares still come, but tonight I am safe from Aegon's violations against my body. 

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That was a very heavy chapter that took me hours to write, it was very emotionally taxing but I hope everyone enjoyed