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Found

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Chapter 53: Found (Rhys's POV)

It had only been three days, a mere seventy-two hours since I last saw Stella and I was already losing my fucking mind. Three fucking days. 

I was trying my best to respect the space that she asked for but the more time I spent away from her, the greater I felt the distance between us grow. 

Since that night, I hadn't spoken to her or even Zarah. Logan was my only way of making sure she was all right and I sensed that even he was starting to grow sick of my calls and texts, constantly demanding updates. But I didn't know what else to do, I was desperate to see her, or at least know that she was okay. 

There was no doubt in my mind that Zarah was visiting Stella often and Stella must have found out by now that Zarah knew everything before she did, which probably only made her hate me more. 

An agitated groan escaped me as I quit pacing on my balcony and dropped into one of the chairs placed beside the coffee table. I propped my elbows up on my knees and sighed quietly as my head fell forward while I ran a hand through my hair and rubbed the back of my neck. 

What should I do? How the fuck should I fix this? 

Everything that unfolded that night left my brain completely scattered. I couldn't decide the best time to reach out to Stella or if I should even do it. Would she even want to see me after everything that happened? Would she even give me another chance? 

Blinking past my hazy vision, I rubbed my eyes and rose to my feet, squinting at the bright and new rays of sunshine. I hadn't slept the entire night, debating whether I should go see her and simultaneously resisting the urge to run to her as I tried to be logical about things. But I couldn't be logical when it came to Stella. 

That urge only seemed to grow stronger with every passing moment. The place felt empty without Stella and I hated every fucking bit of it. 

There were little pieces of her scattered everywhere, constantly reminding me of her. Her clothes in her half of my closet, a few of her belongings in my bathroom, her favorite mug amongst the others in the kitchen, the scent of her tainting my sheets.

We had been together for months now, long enough that I had lost count. I couldn't help but feel like I'd lost her. The place didn't even feel like home without Stella... because Stella was my home. Anywhere with her felt like home because she was there. Without her, I was nothing. 

I paused at the bottom of the staircase and my grip tightened on the banister as I contemplated visiting her. 

It's only been three goddamn days. I don't know how I'll survive anymore. 

My heart picked up at the thought of seeing her and I ran numerous outcomes through my head. I had to see her, just to make sure she was okay, just... just to be around her. It didn't matter to me at that moment that she hated me, that she asked for her space, that she wanted nothing to do with me. I understood that of course and I respected it too. But all I could think about was being around her, existing in the same space as her... just seeing her. That's all I wanted. 

Living without Stella in my life was one of the worst things in this world and I meant it when I told her that I wouldn't want to be part of a world that she wasn't in. 

If she told me she still needed space after today, I would respect it but I would never stop fighting for her. I'd go to her every fucking day if I had to but I would never lose her. 

The last thing I heard from Logan was that Stella was contemplating leaving the city to take some time to herself and it took everything from Zarah to talk her out of it but luckily, she managed to convince her to stick around. 

Stella liked to run, even if she denied it and so did I. But this wasn't a situation we could run from. I made it clear to myself that if Stella tried to run from this, if she somehow convinced herself that we could never work again, then I would do everything possible to prove her wrong. I would do everything to prove to her that we were worth another shot. 

Grabbing my keys and cell phone from where I left them on the kitchen counter, I headed out the front door. 

I'm not giving up on us so easily. 

Entering my car, I sped out of the parking lot and headed straight for Stella's apartment building, getting there faster than I ever had before. 

The thought of seeing her again had my blood racing and my heart pounding. I'd give it all up just to get a glimpse of her right now. That was all I wanted, that was all I needed. I released a soft breath before ringing her doorbell. I wasn't even sure if she'd be awake, considering it was only eight and she was far from an early riser. 

But moments later, the front door opened and I saw her. Her eyes met mine and it truly felt like everything around us went completely still. "Rhys," she breathed out. 

I took a quick scan of her, still worried for her. She was still clad in her pajamas, one of those satin sets she always wore and her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail and despite her looking wide awake, she looked exhausted and worn out. 

Her eyes were still a little bloodshot as if she had cried herself to sleep, her nose was a little redder than usual, and her face a little puffy. She had cried herself to sleep... 

"Can we talk?" I asked hesitantly. 

She took in a sharp breath and looked away from me, her hold tightening on the door as her nails dug into the wood. "I told you, I need space. I don't want to see you right now, Rhys." Her eyes cut to mine again. 

I swallowed down anything else I had to say, any arguments I had to make. 

She doesn't want to see me. 

"Do you want me to leave?" I whispered. 

"What are you doing here so early? Why did you come? When I asked for space, when you knew I wouldn't be able to see you, why..." she trailed off and sighed, her gaze dropping to the ground and she blinked and suppressed her tears. Inhaling shakily, she composed herself before looking at me again. 

"I'm asking you again," I mumbled, "do you want me to leave?" 

"Why are you here?" she demanded, "what made you think this was a good idea?" 

"I wanted to see you," I replied, "that's all. I just wanted to see you, Stella." I began retreating, heading towards the elevator but as I turned my back on her, she called out to me. 

"Wait." 

I closed my eyes as relief washed over me. Turning back around, I met her eyes. 

She huffed and stepped aside, holding the door open. "You can come in," she said softly. I made my way inside and stopped only a few paces behind her as she shut the door and faced me. Folding her arms across her chest, she watched me for a moment and her eyes glassed over, but she kept herself composed better than I ever could. "If you came to tell me something then you should say it before you leave. Do you have something to say?" 

My gaze fell to the floor as I shook my head. "No," I whispered. 

"No?" she echoed, "after everything that happened... you have nothing to say to me?" 

I exhaled shakily. "Stella, I didn't come here to do this today. You asked for space and I'm trying my best to give that to you. I didn't realize it was going to be this hard to be without you. All I wanted was to see you." 

"Why?" 

"Because I miss you." 

"It's been three days, Rhys," she said sharply. 

"It doesn't matter. Whether it be three days or thirty, you know I'm going to miss you. I just had to see you." I took a step closer to her but she grew completely rigid. 

"I don't want to see you, Rhys," she told me. "I can't forgive you." She stared back at me. "You have no idea how hard it was for me to stay here. I wanted to leave and if Zarah hadn't walked in on me packing a suitcase yesterday, then I probably would have. I want nothing to do with you right now. You lied to me." 

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "I told you that night and I'm ready to repeat it a million times if it'll prove to you how fucking sorry I am that I hurt you. I hate myself for being responsible for this. I hate that I'm the person who hurt you and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to fix this. I promise, Stella." 

"You promise what, Rhys? You can't have something once it's already broken and my trust you broke that night. I don't know how to let you back in without being terrified that you'll only hurt me," she explained, her voice wavering. 

"Stella," I stepped forward and took her hands in mine. 

She tried pulling away but she couldn't. She looked away from me as her eyes turned glossy but she kept her hands in mine and she let me hold them. As I ran my thumb across the back of her hand, she let me. 

"Can you please give me another chance?" I whispered, slowly pulling her against me. 

"Rhys," she pleaded, "don't do this." Despite what every nerve in her body probably told her, she leaned into me, dropping her head against my chest. 

I left a light kiss on top of her head and rested my lips there for a moment, memorizing the feeling of her against me. "Will you let me make it up to you?" 

"Rhys..." 

"If you need more space, just tell me. Say the words and I'll be out of your sight until you're ready to see me, Stella. But not having you around is killing me." Drawing back, I tucked a finger under her chin and tilted it up so she met my gaze. 

"What I have with you is something I never thought I was capable of. I never thought I deserved a love like ours. But now that I've found it, I'm not letting it go. I'm going to fight for us, Stella, even if you can't and even if you don't want to. How can I let you go now that I've found you, hmm? Do you still want this?" 

The green her eyes seemed jaded today and it broke my heart. 

"Give me a chance to prove to you that you can trust me again. Please?" I whispered. "Please?" 

Doubt swirled in her eyes as she took a tiny step away from me. 

"You can have all the space and time away from me that you want," I persisted, "stay here if you'd like. I'll make sure anything you left in my apartment is brought to you if you need it. But please don't push me away like this. It kills me to know that I did this to you and I hate seeing you cry because of me. You can't even look me in the eye anymore." 

Her eyes met mine. 

"Please?" I begged one final time. "Just one more chance?" 

She paused and thought for a long moment and my anxiety grew with each passing second until she nodded slowly. "Fine," she mumbled, "I'll give you another chance. It's... taken me days to convince myself that I need to get out of the house and I need to get back to work today. Be mindful of that. I have to get ready. You can... show yourself out," she exhaled shakily before rushing past me. 

I caught her hand just before she slipped away and pulled her back in. Her breath hitched as I rested my hands on her waist and leaned in, leaving a soft kiss on her cheek. "I love you," I mumbled. 

Her hands slipped off my chest. "I have to go," she whispered, turning on her heels and rushing upstairs. A soft groan escaped her as she reached upstairs and stopped at the banister, turning around to look at me. "I love you," she said, loud enough for me to hear. "Now, go." 

I'm lucky enough to have found the love of my fucking life again, there's no way I'm letting her go this time.

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Chapter 53

you didn't really think I was going to let her run away did you? come on now

next ch: flowers