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Murderer

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Chapter 40: Murderer (Rhys's POV)

Waking up to a pounding hangover was never pleasant or desired, but that was the outcome of a night spent drinking white wine, which seemed to get me drunk faster than any other alcohol. 

Groaning, I pinched the bridge of my nose and rolled onto my back, still keeping my eyes closed. 

Every nerve and muscle in my body seemed to grow tight as flashbacks of the night played in my mind before last night's nightmare hit me with full force. Ending up drunk never worked well for me, generally, because I would always have this same nightmare over and over again. My eyes snapped open and I stared up blankly at the ceiling, replaying the dream in my mind. 

The pouring rain, the echoing and deafening claps of thunder, and the fire blazing in front of me, growing with each passing moment as if the rainfall was gasoline. 

"Mom!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, ignoring the water dripping from my clothes and hair while I tried to slip out of the police officer's grasp. "No! Dad! Please!" I spun around frantically, throwing my arms around the officer as I stared up at him pleadingly. "Help them! Please!" 

When all I got in return was a sad, pitiful sigh, I yelled out in agony, shoving him away and making a run for the car, ignoring the flames as they grew bigger, reaching for the sky. 

"No!" I shouted, thrashing and kicking in the next officer's arms as he blocked my path. "Let me go! I have to save them! Please! Help them! We have to pull them out! Please!" 

"Listen to me! Listen to me, kid!" the officer said, trying to contain me in his arms and keep me from running into the burning fire. "We can't do anything without the firefighters, right? They're on their way, they'll be right here, don't worry. You're going to be okay." 

"My parents—" 

"Everything's going to be okay," he reassured, the navy-colored NYPD hat he wore, shielding his face from the raindrops falling down on us. 

I could feel my chest begin to collapse as my breaths got shallower while my tears remained hidden, blending into the raindrops rolling down my face. "Please," I cried, my knees giving out from under me. 

Slowly, still steadying me, the officer rose to his feet and spun me around so I couldn't watch any longer. So I couldn't watch the car as the fire swallowed it up whole, taking my parents with it. Catching my head before I could peer over my shoulder, he blocked my view and covered my eyes, holding me tightly. 

Amidst the storm and traffic, it took another hour for the fire truck to arrive and after the accident and the fire that followed, I knew that my parents were gone. 

At twelve years old, I knew the accident had taken everything away from me. My parents, my life, my entire future was destroyed in that car crash. Losing them changed everything... 

A shaky breath escaped me as I sat upright, wincing at the sudden throb in my head. "Fuck," I groaned, running a hand through my hair, and pushing it out of my eyes. 

My eyes shifted to the empty half of the bed as I recalled flashes of Stella tucking me in and staying by my side until I fell asleep. Only, I couldn't remember if she had stayed the entire night. If she witnessed... the haunting nightmares I experienced. 

I couldn't remember if she really held me through the night or if that was just another dream, another way for me to cope and live through the nightmare that tormented me for the past sixteen years of my life. 

I have to stop. I can't think about this any longer. I... I can't go down this road again. Not now. Not when I'm so close to my goal. I'm simply waiting for the right time. 

Forcing myself out of bed, I frantically grabbed a fresh set of clothes and entered the bathroom, turning the shower on to its coldest setting, standing under the water that burned like ice against my skin while I braced myself with a hand on the tiled wall, taking slow and deep breaths. 

By the time I brushed my teeth, dressed myself, and made it downstairs, I realized Stella must have been awake, and the smell of burnt toast told me I was right. 

"Damn it," I heard her curse in frustration as she glared at the burnt slice of bread on the plate before tossing it in the trash again. 

I decided to act oblivious. She may not have been there last night. 

I wouldn't be surprised to know I'd started dreaming about Stella again. It seemed like once I left New York and went back to Russia all those years ago, for the first few years, my dreams all belonged to Stella. That is if they weren't nightmares tormenting me, reminding me of what I had lost. 

Forcing all anguished thoughts aside, I crept up behind her, slowly snaking my arms around her waist, pulling her back against my chest. "What are you making?" I whispered mockingly. 

A startled gasp escaped her as she frantically spun around, her hands flying to my chest. "Jesus, you scared the hell out of me," she groaned, dropping her forehead against my shoulder. 

I chuckled, dropping my lips on top of her head, leaving a kiss there before I drew back and tilted her chin up until she met my gaze. "Morning," I mumbled. 

She gave me a small smile. "Morning," she whispered, coming up on her toes and kissing me. 

I couldn't help but grin into it as she backed me up against the counter slowly before drawing back, leaving me to chase the distance between us and leaning in for more. 

She laughed quietly, meeting my gaze. "I burnt all your bread away," she admitted sheepishly. 

I glanced over her head at all the burnt loaves of bread before looking back at her. "You... were cooking?" I asked, surprised. 

Scoffing, she hit my chest lightly. "Don't underestimate me, Mr. Romanov. I wanted to make you a nice breakfast this morning like you always do for me." 

"This is your definition of a nice breakfast?" I mused, nodding toward the plate full of burnt toast. 

Her gaze narrowed. "Don't be snarky or I'll be feeding you that lovely burnt breakfast." 

"Yeah?" I chuckled, turning us around and hoisting her up, seating her on the counter. 

She hummed in response, sliding her hands up my chest, resting them on my shoulders while I held her waist. Holding my gaze, she ruffled my damp hair, squealing as I shook the water out, droplets flying at her. Noticing her attire, I took in the t-shirt she wore, one of mine, a big black full-sleeve v-neck. Unlike usual, she wasn't wearing a pair of my sweatpants under it. 

I lifted a teasing brow at her and pulled the hem up just a bit only for her to catch my hand before I could hitch it up any higher. 

She laughed, leaning in, "Not so fast." Stealing a kiss, she distracted me once again. Our lips moved in sync effortlessly. The connection came to us naturally. Nothing with Stella ever felt like a facade, it never felt like we were pretending, even if those were the terms we first started off with. 

With Stella, it always felt real. 

Pecking my lips lightly once, she drew back and met my eyes, hesitation swirling in them. I knew it before she asked, I could hear the question at the tip of her tongue. "Are you okay?" she whispered quietly. 

So she was there. I wasn't dreaming. 

"Of course," I replied, taking her hands in mine and kissing the back of each hand. "Why wouldn't I be?" 

"Rhys," she sighed softly. 

"Stella," I retorted. 

Pausing, she watched me for a moment and then tipped her head to one side. "I won't ask if you don't want me to. I'll turn a blind eye to anything you ask me to. But I just... I want you to know that I'm here. If you want to talk, hmm?" 

I couldn't meet her gaze, no matter how hard I tried. "I'm sorry," I mumbled faintly, "I shouldn't have asked you to stay. I didn't want you to see me like that." 

"Rhys," she chuckled softly, nudging my chin up, "hey, you have nothing to be sorry for. I would hate it if you felt like you couldn't be open with me. You've always made me feel like I could show you every part of me. All the darkest parts too. Rhys." I met her eyes. "Can you please give me a chance to be that person for you?" 

Reaching up, I took a hold of her hand that held my jaw and pulled it down, placing a kiss on the inside of her wrist, just above her pulse. "My... parents," I found myself saying, "I uh... I lost them in a crash when I was twelve. I watched it- I... I was in the car. They passed out and I was the only one who made it out. I made it while they were alive and bleeding out, Stella," I said a little breathlessly, feeling the ache in my chest grow bigger, taking over every inch of my heart. 

"In the storm, in the rain..." I trailed off, shaking my head. "The car caught on fire. And my parents, they... they didn't make it." When my eyes met hers again, I knew they were swirling with unshed tears. 

"Rhys..." she whispered quietly, inching closer to me, wiping the corner of my eye wordlessly. 

"It wasn't an accident, Stella," I mumbled, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. "We were being chased." Her breath got caught. "They were killed," I said, "and their murderer was never caught. Their murderer was never punished." Pausing, I inhaled shakily. 

"And I—" Cutting myself short, my head fell forward, resting on her shoulder while she rubbed my back in slow, calming, and soothing circles. "I couldn't save them. Even with the police, I couldn't help them," I choked, the tears falling freely now. 

Her hold on me tightened as she left comforting kisses on top of my head, whispering my name as reassurance. Reassurance that she was here with me, holding me; she was by my side. Always, as she promised. My chest caved in as a strangled sob crawled up my throat, racking through me as my knees grew weaker once again. 

"Rhys," she said, sounding a little scared, worried and concerned. For me. Stella was a constant reminder that somebody still cared for me, still worried about me. 

As I took a small step back, she stood on the floor, catching my shoulders as I sank to the floor, feeling the control I had slipping from my fingertips as every emotion, every tear I'd kept bottled up for so many years broke free, streaming down my face. 

"It's okay, it's okay," she comforted, dropping to her knees beside me and holding me together, not just physically anymore. A tiny sniffle escaped her as she pressed her lips against my covered shoulder, kissing me there before kissing the side of my head. "I'm here with you," she reminded you, "it's okay to let it out now." 

It got harder to breathe as time passed and I held her tighter against me, relying on her to keep me in place, relying on her for every breath I took. Without a single complaint, she held me for hours on that kitchen floor, comforting me after each tear that escaped me, each sob that racked through me. 

I knew it then if I hadn't already known it: Stella would walk through fire with me if I asked her to and she didn't deserve all the lies I was feeding her. I would tell her everything. I would come clean.

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Chapter 40

so... ig I lied about not updating today lol cuz I never got around to studying for my exams

anyways

a lot of people have been asking, so let me just clarify, like most of my books, this book will also be 50-55 chapters and I just realized, that means only 10-15 chapters more ahhhhh I can't believe it :((

next ch: princess