Hell if this is not a nightmare then what is today is the day.

Damn it now i am actually wishing if it would have never arrived but hey at the same time i was excited to know my marks.

I was not a religious person nope never was but at time like this i found myself going to church very often its like my feet carries me there every Sunday. I made many deals with god and to be frank i hardly remember any of it but hey blackmail helps right.

Right now i am standing outside of my oh --so-- famous-- school
Kvs on of the best in our country.

Since my childhood my parents have said the same thing

*this is a school everyone dreams of studying but only few gets in*

How did i end up? Is still a secret and yeah i refuse to creck one.

My 10th was the only other time when i was feeling this much pressure on me but that all went downhill.

when i got my report card yeah i passed with 76% still its a hazz how i did but i was in 90 position among the 156 students thats a great achievement beside my other two friends got lesser then me that was something uncalled for

Anyway back to present the remaining 2 years went in a hazz

Oh wait i remember few of the incident that occurred

I met him.... he was everything i ever wanted.or as i thought

We met in Facebook he was the hottest person i ever knew eventually i realised it was not one sidded turned out he had a crush on me too. I was dancing when i got to know that ....

My first boyfriend was when i was in 4th i said him that i liked him. We were together for 3 years and eventually i got bored of him .

Then i met him when i was in 7th he was cool good in academic and handsome too if you would take a point of 7th class girl that is. But this time it was him saying he liked me on my birthday and he gifted me a bracelet. Now that i think of it i don't get it what was good him or the bracelet. Well anyway i broke up with him after 2 years.

And by the time i reached 9th i lost my interest in love i started to hate its concept after how my closest friend was treated i still shiver at the memories

FLASHBACK

we were togather since 1st class and they liked each other i use to joke that they might end up marrying each other.

They were together for like 6 years god can you imagine . But soon things started to change. it was when she entered our life

Desha

Amit was always good to siya my friend we were together since my childhood i trusted them as i trusted my brother but i guess that was my biggest mistake in life.

Disha flirted with him constantly and siya didn't believe me when i tried to warn her she was navii and that hurts me too. She stopped me whenever i tried to say something.

She considered us 4 as the best friend.

Soon amit started to fall for her and reacted to her every comment in the same way.

When siya realised it was too late

. That night everything in our life changed ........ FOREVER ......

it was my birthday party

mom kept it and ofcorse she invited my friends and classmate. Mom was a bit uncomfortable when more boys arrived but she relaxed when amit and alvin arrived . Like us my mom trusted them more then anything. She left us on our own.

It was fun i wore a simple blue gown which matched siya's green one too why would it not we brought it together. But yeah we never asked disha to join in our trip since our parents considered her a bit too much pampered we were like sisters what u buyed she got it too.

Disha came in a knee length black colour sundress. We always thought makeup was waste
After all we were in 6th not fit for it yet. But what we secretly did was something between us.

She looked scary then but now that i think of it the word was beautiful.

She wore a thick i liner with high mascara and blush with a bit extra powder i say but she looked gorgeous then. As if she was out of a magazine cover page.

But to us she looked like a black monster that was what we thought from outside.

never did we imagine she was the same in inside too.

Everyone were starring at her.
When she came to me she did that English greetings kissing both the cheeks and hugging

It was AWKWARD

nevertheless i didn't say anything. After cutting my cake we decided to dance ofcorse we were not some professional so we were dancing like some idiots

I was dancing with alvin my boyfriend i already planned to break up with him.

While dancing i almost fell when someone caught me. It was not someone caught me not like a movie ofcorse but close to it. It was dev.

He was someone i just couldn't shake off we were not close but we were close we didn't talk much but we talked.
he was cute but i never considered him well lets say he was well a friend not close but he knew everything about me ok fine he is a classmate with extra knowledge. Yeah that will be perfect forget the fact that he was cute. I did not just said that ....

Anyway as i was saying he saved me. I smiled but soon i realised he was starring at someone with that expression which gives me creep even now

"Watch were your going disha" he spat out with so much venom that i was taken aback. Turns out she pushed me on purpose.

Anyway i didn't care much and ignored it. Well she apologised what else could i do anyway. I brushed it off.

"Happy birthday " dev said softly by the time i turned to say thanks he was gone.

He was strange as i said before. my head was exploding i kept my hands on my head when i realised i was waring a bracelet well that was definitely not mine. It was so kawaii.

Silver coloured and with red stones on it and diamond petals ofcorse it was not real but it was costly i could say that much.
.
.
dev
.
.

I searched for siya last time i saw when she was go going with aliya towards my room. We never clicked but she was a fashion freek i say.

There i finally spotted her but what i saw i was not prepared for it.

"Siya why are you crying?" I made my way to siya when i saw her stand in a corner trying her hardest to rub off her tears.

" please if it was aliya then ignore her she is an idiot" i said guessing that aliya might have commented on her dress.. strangely i was already plotting against her...

" no.... this....this.... time.... it...it... was....something......them ....him...they.....they were ......"

again she started to cry i was confused by then what was she talking about?

" sorry but.... i can't ....i .. can't stay... anymore. .. " with this she brust out of door. Little did i know she was talking of forever.

I rushed to find amit i hated
to admit it but only he could help me understand and stop her. Even though he was out of picture or so i thought.

I searched everywere but he was missing.

I finally gave up when i met alvin i said him that i could not continue us togather. And gave sme lame study excuse but all he did was smile and spoke sadly

"I know i realised it but those 3 years were heven ... and anyway its not like you cheated on me with a guy" he tried to joke but i could see through it and smiled

" i am sorry but you deserve someone better then me" i said trying to take the guilt all to me.

"I don't think so ...bye ...happy birthday " he said and left i felt bad but what could i do. We just were not right that time i belived life was like a movie there is someone only for you solmate i was an idiot. ..

After that i realised my head was pounding i decided to talk to her tomorrow at school and for now welcome my baby my sweet bed.

I was so tired that i was almost falling asleep on the way to my room. However when i reached my room i was fully awake. i heard voice.

It still hunts me

I opened the door only to get the biggest shock of my life

there stood disha and amit kissing each other as if their life depended on it. Her sundress was on the vauge to open. one side arm falling was loosened amit"s hand were roaming all over her body.

when i left the door it shut with a thund music downstairs might have been loud but not loud enough

When they saw me they jumped aside. Shock and fear written all over their faces.

Suddenly what happened few minutes ago replayed on my mind siya and aliya were heading towards my room and then after my dance with alvin aliyaa was with edwin saying something in his ears and siya noware to be seen. Everything fits perfectly now

"Its not like you cheated on me with another guy"

"Its not like you cheated on me with another guy "

" its not like you cheated on me with another guy "

alvin's word rang into my ears.

And i cried

Why?

Why with her?

Why with siya ?

They both were standing still. they too were shocked to say something i fell on the ground feeling like my world went upside down. It was disha who broke first

"Humm....i ....i came for....bathroom "

"Leave both of you " i still don't know were did i get my strength from but i spoke calmly when i was feeling completely opposite

"Ayana i ... please...let me..." amit finally spoke first time in my life i saw him getting scared

" no amit you have done enough. ..leave before i do something "

i said still talking rationally when all i wanted to do was get under the blanket and cry.

Disha cleaned her dress and was about to leave when strangely i spoke again she was near the door.

"You are a slut..like your mother" never in my life did i ever use that word i actually didn't even knew its meaning properly then

"What did you ...."

"Lets go disha " it was amit who pushed her out off the door.

I turned and locked it and did what i have being meaning to do

I cried the entire night. Mom dad came to tell me something but i didn't open the door i knew they could here me crying but still i couldn't . I regret it more then anything now only ....only if i would have listened to what they wanted to say me..

many things changed that night...

That night i lost everything

my best friend siya who ment the world to me. My joker amit. My boyfriend alvin . My bodyguard dev and lastly my rival LIYA.

Everything that night changed everything.

in morning i was making plans for making siya happy and teaching liya a lesson. Only to find her gone not from this school or from this state but from the country she took transfer and teachers were not allowed to say something.

Amit and disha dated freely but after a week that is until disha was found in a dirty position with another guy.

I never forgot what they did to siya

Disha was transferred and amit left the school.

Every night i lived in a nightmare which still hunts me. I cried even without realising it.

Mom and dad were scared so they decided to leave this city i tried my best to convince them that one day siya may return but they said it was impossible she was gone.

That night we left the town. Our life changed my life changed.

I was transferred to another kv for months i felt myself numb but then i met him as a friend he helped me out of this and i could find myself smiling again

I knew siya was strong and she was happy wherever she was . I belived in her.

I met two friends again naina and sushmi we were close but they had no idea about my past i never said them only one was revealed by me

"I don't believe in love"

Those two thought me how to flirt with guys and when things turned too much break up was the solution and cheating was fun not physically ofcorse

I never allowed anyone to touch me kissing was completely out.

I realised there was nothing called solemate. And life was not a fairy tale.

We 3 were together for 2 years then they left their father worked in cost gard so travelling was comman.

Strange i didn't cry at all. I never considered them as a friend i guess .

In 9th i met elena and anaga we were close . I helped them in studies and stuffs like that they always considered my life to be awasome. All they saw were the fake me. Whom everyone seems to like

I had more then 500 proposal and my marks was good according to the way i studied. And my friends considered me to be beautiful little did they know every night this fake mask would slip out.

By the time i reached my high school i started to realise what happened was for the best and i felt normal again i cried only thrice a week which was a welcome change.

My high school life went in a blur only few incidents i remember

Like out school hottee dan proposing me and getting rejected he was a playboy after all.

Passing my 11th with 74%

I started to play basketball thanks to roshan it was fun

I took piano classes from milan my classmate his father was a piano teacher and he was interested in teaching me.

I started writing poems and stories .

I won my first prize in debate . Now that was something i was suppose to speak against love marriage and what i did well teachers were confirmed that i would never marry and they admitted theirs was a failure another reason to hate love.

I had a crush on someone and he had a crush on another girl but still i said him that i like him.

Wearing my bracelet everyday it was given by dev i know we were classmate but it made me feel safe. I don't know why?

I moved to the corner of our house that room was dark and there was another door so i would get up and move out without disturbing my parents

I started to take a walk at night till 12 o' clock with music and memories it made me feel better

We lived near the beach so i found myself sitting there often

Trying to gather information about siya but no reply

the dare they dared one girl to accept all the friend request in fb i was doomed. I had to delete messenger.

My teachers day i wore a saree it was dark blue with red boder and i wore black dancing ear rings with old fashion necklace and my bracelet even though it didn't match with my dress i wore it. Many asked that why do i ware it but in return i replied that it was a gift from someone i refuse to say it was a guy they would make fun of me saying i was in love.. yeah right. .

Almost everyone took pic with me i sent it in fb,insta, twitter,
And yeah i never replied to the comments it was boring. I got above 800 likes but it never mattered to me because all this started when she left.

I signed i may have been stressed about my report but those thing made fotget it all i still am leaving with a regrets

"Ayana "i heard someone calling my name and i rushed in

"Here congrats you have scored 92% in your 12th " miss sheba our biology teacher said i could feel that she was not all that happy we were on the wrong side

She hates me because i got 76% and entered kv according to her my seat was wasted on me. Yeah give me a break.

I took my card and flipped it open there in black letter stood my CGPA 9.2% .

I could feel everyone's shock and for once i was happy i smiled and left to meet my language teacher goege sir he was the only guy who cared about me others did too but i was mostly hurt by their words.

"So new life haa" lambo as we use to call him he was as tall as a coconut tree and cool as a breeze i never saw him getting mad. Wow that would be something.

"Yes sir i have decided everything " i said with uttermost confidence just like i wore a mask on my ASL but same as before he caught me

" don't worry ayana things will change " he said with a smile

" Nothing changed and nothing will change " i spoke slowly he was the only one who could see me behind the mask but i know he always acted like he knew nothing man sure was a paim in my neck

He smiled and i genuinely returned it i found myself walking towords the exist guess i wanted to get out off here. Anyway i was not interested in meeting other teachers and listening to there lecture.

So with a one last look i left.

A/n i hope it was worth your time plz vote if you want to know what happened and don't forget to comment if u have any questions.

Untill then sayonara