(Song of the chapter: 'The Archer' - Taylor Swift)

I don't know how long I sat there before the black haze filming my eyes finally dissipated. Before the darkness coating the edges of everything retreated, and the world went back to normal.

Sensation returned, the sound of rain filling my ears once more. The water was cold now, something I hadn't noticed.

I blinked drops from my eyes, staring down. A pool had formed in the tub, rising up to my chest.

Sighing, I turned off the tap and dragged my still-sneakered foot away from the drain with a squeak. Clear water receded, swirling like a revolving star as the last of it got sucked into the pipes.

My clothes – Lilith's clothes – were sodden and soaked through. None of the color had run though, which was... good.

Great.

I stood, careful not to slip. Water streamed down my arms and feet from the clothes – and for a moment I imagined it was leaking out of me, trickling out of the multiple invisible scars that lined my body.

My eyes snagged on the railing where Lilith had left the clothes and towel. Thinking of her added another invisible scar, one that sliced so close to my heart I sucked in a breath.

I got out, planting my sneakers on the fluffy white bathroom mat. Reaching for the towel made me feel weary, I'd absorbed all the water like a sponge and it was now weighing me down.

I forced myself to move past it. I dabbed at my face, then at the clothes to hopefully dry them a bit before gently peeling them off.

I squeezed as much liquid out as I could, firmly stretched them to prevent wrinkles, then hung them up to dry. I managed to wring water out of my sneakers as well and slid them onto some window ledge above the sink.

And now I was standing in a strange bathroom, completely naked except for my underwear. How my life had come to this, I had no idea.

I felt a twinge in my gut as I stared at the clothes. She'd been so kind and helpful from the start and I'd...

Fuck. I couldn't even look at myself.

Firmly facing away from the mirror, I grabbed the black muscle tee with 'E=mc2'written in light print, and white sweatpants Lilith had picked out. I quickly dressed, then tugged the collar of the shirt above my nose.

Lilith's rich scent flooded my senses– warm caramel and spiced honey, a mix which never failed to make me hungry. I can't believe I didn't immediately fall in love with her when I met her.

Closing my eyes, I turned on werewolf mode and took a deeper inhale. Her scent clung to my nostrils, and I imagined it swirling in the air around me, tinting it with her unique trace. I opened my eyes and I could see the color, the trail amongst the darkness that would lead me to her.

Yes, I needed to find her, and then...

And then what, unbreak her?

That had never been covered in my lessons. They'd only taught me how not to break things, and with Gavin, how to break things, intentionally and irreparably.

No one had ever filled me in about putting things back together.

Maybe that was simply beyond my capabilities. But I had to try, dammit.

So I poked my nose in the air and started sniffing at the trail like a bloodhound, closing my eyes for better concentration. Caramel and honey, I repeated, following the scent with my feet.

Anyone watching me right now would think I was having the weirdest dream.

I blocked out the fact that I looked like a creepy sleepwalking ghost and focused on not falling. My fingers brushed the walls as I moved, slightly leaning against them for balance.

Caramel and honey, caramel and honey, caramel and... mint?

I sniffed deliberately. There it was again– the smell of pine leaves permeating after a heavy rainfall. Dewdrops coating the grass. Cuddling under a warm blanket and watching Netflix while the sky rages outside.

Spring, a scent so lush and tantalizing, and yet so comforting.

Lilith's scent receded into the background, becoming an afterthought. My attention sharpened and honed on finding the origin of this scent.

It was like a compulsion. I tracked it, my feet stepping silently along the tiles. It got stronger, and I got more urgent...

Then it enveloped me like a cloud, making me feel light for the first time all night. Every cell in my body vibrated like a tuning fork, and I knew then I'd reached the source.

I opened my eyes.

I was in a rather fancy, dimly-lit kitchen. A figure stood at the sink, facing away from me.

I didn't need the blue-streaked hair or earring glinting at his ear to tell me it was Rhys.

The feeling of déjà vu would've rammed me over right then, except for one tiny detail.

He was shirtless.

Great Willy Wonka.

He was unaware of my presence, so I used this God-given opportunity to shamelessly gawk at him. Werewolf mode warred against the dim lighting and won, presenting me with each line and ridge of his muscles in stark detail.

Bless you, moon goddess, for this wonderful ability.

His head was lowered, and he seemed to be contemplating something of grave importance. He swirled water around in a cup he held, a motion which made his back muscles buck up and down like a stallion, rinsed it, then reached up to open a cabinet.

Biceps curved, shoulder muscles flexed.

Good Lawd.

Now I really did feel like a hound. I was positively sure that my tongue was no longer in my mouth.

He paused and slowly looked back.

I blinked, quickly shutting off werewolf mode. I also remembered to tuck my tongue back in.

Rhys stared at me. I stared at him. An eon and some random tumbleweed passed by.

Cool blue eyes assessed me, scanning me from head to toe. I held my breath when he met my gaze again.

"Did you need something?"

His words, uttered so gently, so delicately, caused the spell to break. The heaviness returned and the night came rushing back.

Shame heated my face. I looked down, unable to meet his gaze anymore, and fiddled with the hem of my tee.

"I-I was looking for Lilith's room," I mumbled quietly. "I might've said something that hurt her feelings, and I want to – try to – take it back."

Silence.

It dragged on so long, I got worried and snuck a peek at him.

Just a moment ago, Rhys's eyes had been the lazy neutral blue of the Atlantic. I could've imagined swimming in them, taking a dive even.

Now, doing either of those things would give me frostbite, or a very broken neck.

As I stared, they completely frosted over with an almost audible crackle.

I bit my lip, forcing myself to hold his gaze. Rhys had every right to be mad – I'd hurt his friend for no good reason.

Or was it because of Jacques?

He'd told me to stay put, that he'd be right back. If I'd just waited for him, none of this would've happened. It was all my fault.

I braced myself for his anger.

"What did he do to you?"

My lips parted. I... was not expecting that.

An undercurrent of anger thrummed beneath his words. Maybe it was my imagination but the temperature in the room seemed to decrease. I shivered.

What did he want me to say? That Jacques had cornered me, had known exactly which buttons to push? That he'd hurt me and made me feel helpless all over again?

I shook my head. "Nothing."

You're nothing, Loner, I heard Jacques' say, as clearly as if he'd just whispered in my ear. My throat bobbed as I swallowed.

Rhys studied me. "It must've been something," he said calmly. "This was your first time fighting back, wasn't it?"

I was suddenly back in that room, watching my fist swing towards Jacques, hearing him crack.

Please, stop. I don't know who I was pleading with, Rhys or myself.

"Avalon, I need you to tell me what happened."

Rhys's eyes were no longer ice chips but blue flames, ready to blaze and obliterate. The sight made my heart stutter.

I took a tiny step back. "I-It was no–"

The cabinet door slammed shut, the sound like a gunshot in the quiet space.

"DON'T TELL ME IT WAS NOTHING!"

Nothing. You're nothing.

In that second, instead of Rhys's eyes I saw another set of blue, filled with malice and malevolent intent.

I flinched.

My feet moved of their own accord, backpedaling until my back hit the wall. My heart pounded loudly, drowning out everything else, my chest rising and falling with the noise. Every breath hurt.

The next one caught in my throat, like my body was shutting down. Rhys's shocked expression slowly clouded over, and then I was falling, slinking to the ground, my legs giving out under me.

"Shit."

Something hot streaked down my face. The world was a little blurry, but then I blinked and Rhys was there, on his knees in front of me.

I blinked again, this time in surprise. Another hot tear trailed down my cheek.

Rhys's gaze followed it, his face twisting in something resembling pain.

"I am so sorry, Avalon. I'd never–" He swallowed, "I didn't mean to–"

I shakily inhaled. My heart felt red-hot like a poker iron burning out of my chest. I raised my knees and wrapped my arms around them in an attempt to hide it.

"I'm nothing," I whispered.

His entire body stilled. "What?"

I needed him to understand. I held his gaze, blinking more pesky tears out of my eyes.

"I'm nothing. I don't mean anything to anybody." 

He was quiet for a long moment.

"Is that what he told you?"

I sniffed, looking away. "It's true though."

I'd spent so long trying to prove Jacques wrong, but what was the point? Might as well accept it.

I tugged at my fingers, feeling uncomfortable.

"It's why I was alone, why every single person I was ever friends with turned their backs on me. It's why my parents stay at work instead of staying with me."

There was so much more that he'd never know. Gavin abandoned me till I was eight, only showing up when he thought I was in danger. My mom – my birth mom who I tried never to think about – was gone, and I never got to know if she'd even wanted me.

Did she know what I was? Would things have been different if she'd... lived?

My gaze drifted over my wrist tattoos. I had Archer, I knew. He wanted me. He wanted me so much he'd forced me to live, healing my wounds thoroughly after my first and only attempt. But I'd had to figure out how to do so on my own, because no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't live for him.

I'd methodically transformed all of my sadness into anger. Not hate – that was fuel for Vixen, and she couldn't be... allowed.

Now, though, I was running out of fuel for me.

I met Rhys's gaze again and let another truth fall from my lips.

"It's why I try driving you guys away, because I know one day you'll realize that and then you'll leave."

And I just might have succeeded with Lilith.

Rhys's face looked like it was carved from stone. I had no idea what he was thinking.

Then he stood, and I figured I could guess what he felt as he turned and walked away. What I must've looked like, crumpled on the floor and crying like Moaning Myrtle. I was broken and pathetic – of course he'd want to get away.

I sniffed again, pressing my cheeks to my knees.

There was a rip, and then Rhys was crouched in front of me again, holding a paper towel.

I gaped at him. He said nothing, just continued handing it to me. Slowly, I reached out and took it. I placed the tissue over my nose and blew.

Honk!

This was no time to be making duck noises. Embarrassed, I handed the crumpled tissue back to him.

Amusement flickered in his eyes. He looked at it, then calmly plucked it from my palm.

Oops. Probably shouldn't have done that.

"Er, thanks," I said, watching him walk over to the trash can and throw it away.

He nodded. "Want another one?"

I meekly shook my head. "I'm good." My voice sounded wooden and stuffy, but it was no longer shaking.

Rhys returned to my side. I eyed him apprehensively. I had no idea how he was about to react to the – everything – I'd just dumped at his feet.

"I'm sorry I left you at the party."

My eyes widened slightly. The last thing I wanted was for him to feel guilty.

I shook my head. "I don't hold it against you."

"You should."

His expression was unyielding. "I was right to be concerned, yet I still walked away."

His tone was reproachful yet incredibly calming, soothing over my hurts. I breathed easier, my grip on my legs loosening.

A tear I missed started trickling down. Rhys's thumb shot out and caught it.

All my muscles locked up. I didn't dare move, breathe or even think too strongly.

Rhys was... he was touching my face.

Something ignited under this touch, flaring to life. The glow in his eyes made me feel lit up from inside, like a human lantern. He looked at me and I stared back mesmerized, completely unable to look away.

"There's no shame in crying, you know."

His thumb stroked in little circles, causing flames to dance delightedly upon my skin. The words sounded like the most beautiful thing, like syrup falling from his lips, and I... wanted to taste them, straight from the source.

Had he gotten closer?

I felt his remaining fingers spread across my cheek, soft as butterfly wings. He shifted, and I could feel his warm breath fanning my face. He was closer, and so warm and muscly.

Someone could've walked over and shot me in the chest with an arrow and I still wouldn't have been able to move.

"In my experience," he murmured, still caressing my cheek. My racing heart nearly drowned out his next words.

"Crying just means you've been strong for too long."

That snapped me out of it. I blinked at him, filled with doubt.

That was a pretty sentiment, but it was not meant for me.

As a child, all I did was cry whenever I was bullied. I thought I'd moved past that, become someone I could be proud of, but Jacques had undone all my progress with just one encounter. I'd cried in front of that fucker, and I'd felt the farthest thing from strong in that moment.

Even in this moment, too.

I wasn't strong. I was struggling.

Rhys tilted his head, reading the disbelief in my eyes.

"You don't believe me?"

"I–"

His hand on my cheek was scrambling my speech processors. Gingerly, I moved away from his touch.

He stilled, his palm lingering in the air.

My heart writhed in my chest. I couldn't look at him anymore.

"I don't like to cry." At least I could speak.

I hugged myself again, trying to stem the tide of emotions I'd allowed to spill out of me.

"I don't like feeling this way."

This wasn't me. I don't cry about my feelings to the people I care about. I slap a band-aid onto my tattered soul then kept it moving. I needed to find my way back to that point.

Rhys seemed to understand my line of thinking. "Tell me how to help you, Avalon. Tell me anything."

Anything.

I looked into his magnetic blue eyes... and then I knew. Knew that what I needed was to get away from this scary attraction I had for him, that made me lose myself and do crazy things like this.

"I need you to give me space for a while."

My throat burned like I'd blasphemed. I immediately wanted to take the words back, but I couldn't let myself.

Rhys slowly blinked his beautiful lashes.

"You want me to leave you?"

NO!

Haltingly, I nodded, like my actions were guided by string. Shooting myself in the foot would have felt less painful, but this had to be done. I needed to put this night behind me to move on and Rhys' eyes would transport me right back here– to him being kind and sweet while I was crying.

I felt too vulnerable, too seen – and I was afraid that all he saw was a broken toy.

He considered me for a long moment, then nodded.

"Alright."

I peeked one last time at those eyes, finding them devoid of anger or judgement. He stood, distracting me for a moment with his rippling abs, then walked over to the door.

I huddled into myself, suddenly feeling alone.

"Avalon?"

I turned.

There was a flash of haunting white teeth, so achingly beautiful it stole the breath from my lungs.

"You mean... so much to me."

I felt my brain short-circuit.

His hand trailed off the doorjamb, then he walked away for real. I watched him go, craving nothing more than to tell him to return.

"Lilith's room is at the end of the hall, by the way."

His footsteps fully receded before I finally processed what he'd said.

Oh shit. I'd forgotten about Lilith.

_

Due to... uh... extenuating circumstances, I didn't end up going to Lilith's last night. I wandered around, found some random empty room with a bed, and crashed onto it.

I tossed and turned, replaying Rhys's words about fifty times before I finally slept.

You mean... so much to me.

Had he actually said that, or had I just imagined it?

When I woke up, I decided it must've been a dream. Yeah, that's it.

There was a face towel, a toothbrush and a toothpaste beside my pillow. Grabbing them, I went into the conveniently located bathroom inside the room and took care of business.

Lilith's face flashed before me as I brushed. I remembered her flinching, the way her voice had hitched.

My eyes burned, and I set down the toothbrush, turning away from my reflection.

I'd never driven somebody to the brink of tears before.

I felt like a bully.

Ugh. I couldn't function until I removed this ugly feeling from my bones. I set my jaw and swung open the door.

I was going to find her this time – no interruptions allowed.

I suddenly braked with one foot in the air. Is that food I smell?

I inhaled deeply. Croissants and something chocolate and... ooh, pie. Yum.

The aroma guided me forward like a gentle lover's hand. I willingly followed, letting it lead me through the corridor and out into open space.

The Four Horsemen's base, or whatever they called this place, was incredible. I didn't see any stairs, so it must have only one floor, but it was large and beautifully decorated with checkered tiles partially covered by a brilliant blue carpet.

An antique gold clock ticked away the passing seconds. Beneath it was a rather peculiar oil painting of four horses in pasture under a pink and orange sky.

A white horse with a blond mane was innocently grazing. One with a fiery red mane was... horsing around, its hind legs upraised and a rather comical expression on its face.

A chestnut-brown horse that looked decidedly more feminine seemed to be posing for the picture. 'Look at me, I'm so cute', her smug expression seemed to say. The final horse, a dark horse, was rolling its eyes, looking fed up with the lot.

I looked away. My eyes tracked potted plants, silvery-blue painted walls, and a random chandelier swinging above a well-laden dining table before coming to rest on Jasper.

He sat at the head, pushing his food around his plate. He looked up and met my gaze, his green eyes luminous.

I hesitated, feeling nervous. His brows lifted.

"Well hello, Sunshine," he greeted, like finding me in his house was a regular occurrence.

He tossed a blueberry into his mouth, looking... amused?

"Nice bed hair," he commented wryly.

I gaped, my hands flying to my hair. I hadn't let it out of the ponytail even after my shower, and now it was frizzy and stuck straight up.

Still, I glared at Jasper, denying everything. "I do not have bed hair!" I hotly retorted while trying to slyly fix it.

His amusement grew. "You look like an electrocuted squirrel."

The audacity.

Grumbling under my breath, I let my hair down and whipped it around.

"Breakfast?" He offered once I restored my ponytail.

I looked longingly at the display but forced myself not to move. It was incredibly hard.

"Have you seen Lilith?"

In response, he looked over at a floor-length glass door. Brandon stood there. He'd been so quiet I hadn't even noticed him.

"Brandy?"

He turned and spotted me. He blinked.

I shakily smiled. "Hi, Brandon."

Brandon's usual easy grin lit up his face. "Hey."

My sigh of relief was short-lived. He looked back at the screen door, his eyebrows scrunching.

"She has been watering that same plant for thirteen minutes now," he mused, sounding noticeably worried.

I heaved a sigh. Time to pay the piper.

"I'll go talk to her, okay?"

He looked at me curiously, then shrugged. "Okay."

I avoided their gazes and quickly made my way to the door before I lost my nerve.

Their backyard was very sunny and preppy with many different types of flowers. Ordinarily, Lilith would have blended into this colorful landscape, since she usually walked around dressed like a human rainbow.

However, today this was not the case.

Lilith was watering a patch of lilies, dressed head to toe in grey. I would've commended the fact that she color-coordinated with the storm cloud hovering above her head if I thought she'd done it on purpose.

A small island had formed around her feet, the drizzle from the watering can sounding like rain. Even the mouse ears on the headband she wore seemed to droop forward sadly.

I took a moment to collect my jaw from the floor.

Goodness. What have I done?

I carefully stepped closer.

"Uh, Lilith?"

She straightened and slowly turned. Her light-brown eyes looked especially large with her face bare. She calmly scrutinized me from head to toe, then looked away without a word.

Okay, I guess I deserved that.

I toed the grass. "Look, about what I said yesterday... I'm sorry. I didn't really mean any of it."

Lilith snorted. "Oh, but I think you did."

She finally stopped drowning the plants but still didn't look at me.

"You have been pushing me away from the moment we met. Don't think I didn't notice."

I blinked. At least she wasn't entirely obtuse.

I inwardly facepalmed so hard I actually felt it.

I am terrible at this.

Still, I had to try. It was important to try. Brandon had overcome his reservations about me with those same words, so I at least owed myself the decency to prove him right.

"Okay, yes, I haven't always been nice," I rambled, "but I did lie! I do like you, and I'm not tired of trying to be your friend. It's just sometimes I... don't know how to."

Lilith stared at me, then her expression slowly softened.

"I understand," she said quietly. Her eyes were suddenly faraway and definitely gloomy, no doubt in some dark place in her mind that caused her to understand.

Oh fuck. I couldn't do anything right.

It instantly occurred to me what I could do.

I cringed.

No, please! There has to be some other way!

There was no other way.

I deeply inhaled, then blew it out in a rush.

"Don't move," I growled. Without another word, I stormed back into the house and looked at the two males.

"Do either of you have a guitar?"

_

I felt utterly ridiculous as I hauled the guitar outside. It was apparently some fan gift that Jasper just happened to have lying around.

Lilith stared curiously as I crouched on the ground with it in hand. I managed not to glower while focusing on remembering the opening chords.

The things I do for these weird humans.

Alright, here goes.

I placed my fingers on the correct strings and started to strum the keys.

Lilith recognized the tune. Her instantly face lit up like a little sunbeam.

Ugh.

Sí, sabes que ya llevo un rato mirándote
Tengo que bailar contigo hoy

I somehow managed not to sound like I was walking to my funeral on the first verse. It got easier as I sang, especially since Lilith looked completely hyped.

She stood and started dancing at the chorus, shaking her small body side to side like a leaf. My lip twitched as I watched her. It took all of my supernatural power not to dissolve into laughter.

Despacito
Vamo' a hacerlo en una playa en Puerto Rico
Hasta que las olas griten: "¡Ay, Bendito!"
Para que mi sello se quede contigo

"PACEETO, PACEETO! SUBWAY, SUBWAY, CEETO! NO MORE ALEJANDRO, INCOGNITO COGNITO!" She suddenly burst out.

I lost the fight. Toppling over, I fell against the grass and laughed so hard I thought I'd never stop.

Lilith collapsed next to me, giggling.

I somehow didn't crush the guitar as I wheezed. Whenever I thought I had my laughter under control, I'd peek at Lilith then crack up all over again.

We finally quieted, staring up at the clouds. The breeze picked up and it could've llifted me into the air, that's how light I felt.

I subtly glanced at Lilith. No chuckles– so far so good.

Self-consciously, I picked at some grass.

"So... do you forgive me?" I asked hopefully.

Lilith considered me. A devious smile suddenly graced her face.

Uh-oh. I eyed her warily.

This can't be good.

She abruptly sat up.

"I will," she cheerily announced, "if you let me video you singing and post it to our YouTube channel."

My mouth fell open. I stared at her, completely dumbstruck.

"¿QUÉ?"

_

RHYS

I watched Avalon and Lilith laughing in the grass, allowing myself a small smile.

I knew they'd figure it out. She really didn't need me.

Pain shot up my side, like someone stabbed me with a knife then twisted. If she wanted me to stay away, I'd stay away – but fuck, I hated it. Even now, everything in me just wanted to go over there and just be near her.

The screen door felt like the solid boundary she'd put up in between us. I wanted to punch it.

No; I wanted to punch a very particular someone.

Turning away before she noticed me, I looked at Jasper.

"Has he been discharged yet?"

Jasper slid his laptop out from underneath the table.

"Yup," he said, tapping some keys.

"He was just spotted at the basketball court by the park."

Hot boiling rage coursed through my veins. I crystallized it, turning it to stone, letting none of it rise to the surface.

Somehow, I managed to calmly nod at my friends.

"Then let's go."

_

He took careful aim, then threw the ball. It was a perfect shot, sinking effortlessly into the hoop. In his mind the crowd went wild, screaming his name. He smirked at their praise, running over to retrieve the basketball.

He was beauty, he was grace...

He had an extremely punchable face.

That smirk slipped off as he turned and came face-to-face with Brandon.

Clearly surprised, his grip went slack.

Or maybe it was because Brandon was currently looking at him like he wouldn't mind using his head as a basketball.

Basketball Head paled, and it was my turn to smirk. Especially since it showed off the lovely purple bruise on his head.

He swallowed nervously. "Look, dude, I have no problem with you."

The ball rolled over to my feet. I stopped it with my shoe, then kicked it into my palm and spun it on my middle finger.

"But you see, we have a problem with you," I calmly stated.

Beside me, Jasper puffed out his chest, trying to look threatening.

"Yeah, what he said!" He yelled churlishly.

I vehemently tried to ignore his existence.

Ballsack Brain licked his lips fearfully, eyeing Brandon like he was the biggest threat. And maybe he was right. Brandon's personal experience with bullies didn't exactly endear him to many.

"Can we talk about this?"

Wasn't so tough anymore, was he?

Brandon narrowed his eyes. "You made a good person cry."

Nut Face blinked. "That's what this is about?"

Right there, mingled in with the fear was a flash of irritation.

He had absolutely no remorse. I'd remember that.

Jasper's brows lifted. "You don't think it's a problem to pick on people who are weaker than you?

"Weaker than me?" His alarm transformed into amusement.

"Who, Avalon?"

********************************************************************************

Alexa, play Despacito.

Avalon is the queen of making decisions then completely regretting all of her life choices a second later 🤭

What's up you guys?

So, I took a one-week unannounced hiatus to binge Shadow and Bone on Netflix, and I also read this incredible high-fantasy series with such a masterful storyline and superb writing, it made me feel completely insecure about my story, and so I sulked about it for a few days. 

BUT I'M BAAAACK! 🤪

Let me know what you thought about this chapter! 

I had Angel on Fire by Halsey, Save Your Tears (Remix) by the Weeknd & Ari, and of course Taylor Swift's The Archer on repeat while writing. They really helped me capture the feels, at least I hope so.

Lots of love,

Lulu.