Fourteen: Taking Stock

Hiccup opened his eyes and all he could see was darkness. He blinked, screwing his eyes closed and then opening then again-to see only pitch black.

Oh nonononono, he thought in a panic, closing his eyes and opening them again. Nononono, please-I thought I had regained my sight when I woke...please don't let this be true...

He shifted his body, knowing he was lying on his bed-and he winced as he was wracked by the pains he felt from the injuries Viggo and Krogan had given him. Gritting his teeth with the effort, he tried to bend up his left arm and he felt a small surge of triumph as the elbow flexed and his hand finally rested back against his shoulder, He winced, feeling the pain from the healing brand and he groaned. Even though he was home, he was lost.

Suddenly the darkness moved and Toothless's head appeared round the edge of his wing, which had been wrapped around Hiccup like a protective tent. The young Viking blinked, the light hurting his eyes-and then he gulped in relief. He wasn't blind! Sure, his vision was blurred and his eyes hurt but he could recognise Toothless no matter what.

"B-bud..." he breathed and the familiar coo of his dragon sounded reassuringly at his side. Toothless moved away and Hiccup realised that the dragon had been stationed hard by him, his wing wrapped over him like a shield and then he felt the warm muzzle nudge him. A relieved laugh burst from his lips and he was immensely relieved that it sounded like a laugh, not like the garbled sounds he had been making while the Wine of Hela had been destroying his body...

And then he stilled. Was he alive? Was this real? Or was this another crazy dream, a venom-induced nightmare as he hovered on the brink between life and death...? But this matched with where he last remembered being, dovetailing with his memories of everything deteriorating as he was dying of the poison. Toothless nudged him and he felt a surge of relief. His head was spinning, his stomach was hurting, his shoulder ached and he still felt weak...but he was undeniably on Berk and he was alive.

"Hiccup!" a female voice said and he rocked his head to look over to his right-to see a blonde shape sitting by his bed. And though his vision was still fuzzy, he knew it wasn't Astrid...after all, the blonde was wearing a familiar helmet, was wearing the wrong colour and her blonde hair was in thick braids and smelled vaguely of fish.

"R-ruff...?" he managed and was relieved that he managed to form an intelligible version of the word he had intended. She nodded.

"You said my name," she said, her voice surprised and relieved and then she grinned. "Thank Thor. We were so worried." She looked up at the dragon as she rose to her feet. "Toothless-can you watch him for a few minutes while I go get..."

"Stay!" he managed surprisingly firmly. Ruff stilled and then looked at the Night Fury.

"No problem," she said and sat back down. "Toothless-could you get the Chief then. I'll sit with Hiccup..." The Night Fury gave a small warble, his head bobbing in acquiescence and he gave his Rider a small lick and then whisked away, barging through the door of the Chief's House and galloping down the hill. Ruff smiled again. "How are you feeling?"

He frowned and tried to frame an answer. How did he feel? Alive. Not blind. Able to move at least one limb and speak sort of, he was better than he could possibly have guessed.

"Great..." he murmured. "Jus' great..." He looked around. "Tuff?" The female twin nodded and smiled.

"He's okay," she assured him. "He's taking Chicken for a walk along the cliffs. Fishlegs is cleaning Meatlug to try to cheer himself up. He's washed her so many times I think she may be shiny. And Snotlout apologised." Hiccup blinked and wondered if he was still hallucinating. He frowned, his face hurting from the effort. He tried to dismiss this as a Thorston prank but Ruff seemed far more sincere than usual.

"He...wha'...?" Hiccup managed. Ruff chuckled.

"It was very funny," she admitted. "I have never seen Snotlout so lost for words. And he could only really say it because you were unconscious. And even then...it was like he was trying to pull a Gronckle from his butt..." Hiccup's eyes widened.

"Bleurgh..." he breathed and she grinned.

"And you're back," she said in relief. "We all thought you were gone. Astrid..." He took a breath.

"As'rid?" he mumbled. Ruff nodded.

"She..."

"SON!" The door burst open and Stoick sprinted in with Toothless at his back, his eyes fixed at the pale shape on the bed, the bright green eyes widening in relief as his father skidded to a halt by the bed and knelt down, tenderly scooping his son in his arms as if he was made of eggshell. Hiccup felt the strong arms close around him, pulling him up into a cautious hug. He closed his eyes and rested his head against his father's chest, inhaling his scent and suddenly feeling home. His arm moved slightly and he exerted the smallest of pressure against his Dad's chest to return the hug. Stoick's eyes widened.

"Hiccup?" he said more gently and inspected the limp shape in his arms. The young man's face twitched.

"Hi Dad," he breathed. Stoick pulled back ad his face cracked with a huge, relieved smile.

"Son-you're alive!" Stoick boomed and Hiccup winced. He managed the slightest nod.

"Yeah..." he mumbled. "S'prise t'me too..." Grinning from ear to ear, the Chief gave him another, more Stoick-like hug.

"I'm so overjoyed to have you back, son," he bellowed, causing even Ruffnut to wince at the volume Toothless whined and pressed his paws over his ears. Hiccup closed his eyes.

"Bein' dead...w'be quieter..." he grumbled and the Chief gave an embarrassed grin and gently placed his son on the bed once more.

"Sorry!" he said in a very loud whisper. "I'm just so glad and relieved to see you awake and-and talking and..." Hiccup waved a hand very slightly, enough to indicate he had understood.

"Tired, Dad," he mumbled. "An' thirsty..." Dutifully, the Chief gave him another two cups of water before he tucked his son carefully in. There were other shapes at the door-the Riders, hanging back for fear of angering the Chief though unwilling to go-and Gobber who simply could not push past the solid mass of youngsters crammed into the doorway to catch a glimpse of their friend. Hiccup looked up and smiled. He waved his hand slightly. "C'min," he murmured and they cautiously entered, all looking sheepish. Tuff stood by his sister, who was looking immensely pleased with herself that Hiccup had woken on her watch while Fishlegs was beaming with excitement and relief and Snotlout looked...edgy. Heather was just smiling in relief.

"Ooooh-I am so glad you're awake," Fishlegs began, his voice higher pitched than usual. "I was so worried we would lose you and when we almost didn't get all the ingredients to you in time...I felt so guilty..." Hiccup managed a weak smile.

"Thanks," he said gratefully, his eyelids fluttering with weariness. Each felt like there was a boulder on it. "All've you." Tuff shrugged.

"No problemo, mi amigo," he said cheerily to everyone's confusion. "Just doing what any friend would do for their leader..." Heather briefly leaned forward and gave his hand a squeeze.

"We're so glad you're recovering," she assured him. Gobber grinned at him.

"Aye. I need meh assistant back soon," he added. "Get yuir rest, laddie-while ye can. These muttonheads won't give you much when yuir better!" Snotlout hung back as Gobber limped away, his eyes looking shifty.

"Um...yeah...I'm really pleased you're recovering cuz...but...do you think I'm a coward?" he asked all in a rush. Hiccup frowned, his exhausted brain not making the connection.

"Why?" he managed to garble out but Snotlout shrugged.

"I mean, I'm not the demonstrative kind and I think I express myself more in actions than words so I guess I just wanna known that you know what I mean, okay?" Hiccup shook his head.

"No' really," he said honestly. Snotlout gave an exasperated yell.

"AAAGH! Why is it so hard to get anyone to accept an apology?" he moaned. Hiccup frowned.

"When...?" he asked and Stoick scowled at his nephew.

"Never mind...we'll talk about it later. And really pleased to see you're up, Hiccup..." Snotlout said hastily. "Coming, Hookfang!" he added and ran out of the room. Stoick shook his head and frowned.

"I swear that boy gets stupider by the day," he commented, seeing Hiccup yawn. "It's okay, son-take a nap. We'll get Gothi to check you over and one of us-and Toothless-will be with you at all times...: Hiccup blinked sleepily.

"Thanks," he mumbled, his words slurring. "Where's As'rid. Patrol?" They Riders all shared a look and finally Stoick leaned close.

"No, son," he said gravely. "She's gone."

oOo

She felt numb, her mind whirling over and over as she replayed the fall in her mind. Seeing the dragon dropping like a stone, not even trying to save itself and watching Krogan's face twist in shock and desperation as he tried to plot his way out of a death that was inevitable. Astrid snapped a small branch and launched it into the fire, watching her fish char and burn and not making any move to rescue her food.

"I'm sorry, girl," she murmured to Stormfly. The dragon gave a sad caw and curled up behind her, pressing hard against her beloved rider. The Nadder was exceptionally well-trained and loyal and had almost as close a bond to her Rider as Toothless did to Hiccup. Or had...

She wrapped her arms around her body and closed her eyes. She tried to avoid thinking about it but there were just moments when the thoughts intruded and she remembered why she was out here. Why she was so angry, so desolate, so vengeful...because they had killed Hiccup. her Hiccup. Her Betrothed. the man she loved. The only man she would ever love. And he had died without a fanfare, without the skies darkening or the heavens weeping or every dragon keening and bowing its head as they should because their friend and protector and greatest advocate had gone. And the men who had murdered Hiccup were still out there...two of them.

She rested her hand back against Stormfly's warm flank, her fingers trailing over the familiar pattern of scales, feeling the dry surface under her fingers. Krogan had been the easiest because he was vicious and brutal and relied on bullying opponents using his larger and more powerful dragon. He had relied on strength-and she had taken that away, shattered that on the rocks. And she had stared at his smashed corpse until the waves claimed it.

But she had killed a dragon in the process, the red Singetail that had been bonded to Krogan. They had realised that his was the only dragon not enslaved, a dragon that had come back for him without being chained in servitude and she had done what the Hunters had tried to do to her for so long. She closed her eyes: no matter how hard she justified her actions, she had killed a dragon-the first dragon she had actually killed. And it had been innocent, a dragon that had been helping its human Flier...but had helped him kill and destroy and enslave. It wasn't what Hiccup would have wanted, it wasn't what she would have done before he died...but now she would do anything to make them pay.

But it wouldn't be easy. Krogan had relied on his strength and the powerful nature of his dragon to crush enemies: Viggo used his brain. The man was a planner, a game player and a strategist. He had out-thought and outwitted the Dragon Riders and Hiccup so many times and Astrid knew that she couldn't outwit the man. He would know she was coming now-she had made sure they knew that she was on their tails. That it was Astrid Hofferson. That they understood it was one lone rider-and that she was out for blood. She wasn't in it to free dragons and stop their operations: no, she was out to...

Her eyes widened. Johann would have warned them and Viggo would know it was her. They would have planned for a Hofferson full frontal attack. And she needed to give them precisely what they expected...

...and kill Viggo through his own arrogance.

She fed a few more logs to the fire and quietly checked her packs. She would need to make sure everything was ready for when she made her move.

oOo

Fishlegs was there when Hiccup awoke again, smiling in relief as his friend opened his bleary green eyes and focussed much more quickly. Hiccup lifted his arm and his friend gently gave him a couple of cups of water before he helped him sit more upright on the pillows. Hiccup smiled.

"Thanks, Fish," he said gruffly, his morning voice very unfamiliar. The husky Dragon Rider had never really seen Hiccup this unwell before, for despite the taunts he had fielded throughout his life as a 'runt' and 'fishbone', Hiccup was generally strong and determined, battling through colds and fevers and always minimising any illness, for he was mortally afraid of appearing weak. A lifetime of taunts and sneers had wrecked his confidence and Hiccup would pretty much die before he admitted weakness-so his friend wondered how the Heir would respond to this extremely close brush with death. He smiled, his pale face looking a better colour.

"Is there 'nything to eat?" His voice was still rough but Fishlegs smiled and fetched the thick, meaty broth that had been waiting. Gothi had checked over the invalid and her verdict had been simple: Hiccup had nearly died, been starved and wracked by fever and poison and he was very weak and underweight. He urgently needed to build his strength back up-and his friends would help him to do so.

"Gobber's finest," Fishlegs assured him as Toothless came up and sniffed the food, licking his lips.

"Hey...I need this more, you greedy reptile," Hiccup murmured his hands still trembling slightly. Carefully, he rested the bowl on his lap and very cautiously spooned the first mouthful up. It was his first food for nearly two weeks and his stomach was growling and roiling at the thought-but he salivated at the rich aroma and took his first mouthful.

It tasted as wonderful as he had imagined and he hastily dug into another mouthful, his hollow middle suddenly aching with hunger. Fishlegs watched him urgently tear into the food, his fine motor control not as good as it had been...but he was capable of feeding himself. But halfway down the bowl, he slowed almost to a stop and then he sat back. Immediately, his friend looked worried.

"Are you okay, Hiccup?" he asked, leaning forward. But the auburn-haired Viking shook his head.

"Just full," he admitted. "I mean, I haven't eaten for days so...well, I don't wanna overdo it and end up bringing it all back..." Toothless gave a croon and Hiccup gently placed the bowl on the edge of the bed. "Okay-knock yourself out, you flying stomach," he murmured affectionately as the Night Fury stuck his head in the bowl and licked it clean. Sitting back on his haunches, Toothless carefully set about cleaning his face as Hiccup turned his thoughtful gaze onto Fishlegs.

"Now, Fishlegs-what is this about Astrid leaving?" he asked quietly. His friend looked pale and his mouth hung open.

"I-I-I don't know what to say..." Fishlegs gabbled. Hiccup raised an eyebrow.

"The truth would be good," he managed with sarcasm.

"There's no need to be mean," Fishlegs protested. "I went to Vanaheim for you!" Hiccup frowned.

"You-you did?' he asked and then coughed. He reached for the water and misjudged the distance, overturning the wooden cup and spilling the water. Fishlegs gasped and hastened to right the mug, refill it and gently place it in Hiccup's hand. Carefully, he raised it to his lips and sipped. He clumsily placed it back on the table by his bed.

"It's okay," Fishlegs soothed him but Hiccup looked up, his eyes flashing in anger.

"No, it's not!" he said bitterly. "Fishlegs, my body still only feels like it partly belongs to me. Everything feels...strange..." He sighed. "And I know I am lucky to be alive and am only here due to the efforts of my friends and family...but you have no idea how hard it is when I am used to being...capable. And I am really wondering if I will ever be able to walk, to ride Toothless again, to work in the forge... to draw..." His voice cracked. "Please give me something to cling to, my friend. Tell me where Astrid is?"

"I-I don't know," Fishlegs said. "No one does." Hiccup's eyes widened.

"What do you mean?" he asked desperately.

"When you fell into the coma, when we failed to return by the time that Gothi said was the last that the antidote could possibly work, then she made a decision," Fishlegs said miserably.

"What?" Hiccup could barely breathe the word. Fishlegs sighed.

"She told Stoick that she couldn't watch you die," he admitted slowly. "That she wanted to remember you as you were, not as a pyre. And that she would make sure that your death was so drenched in blood that you would have to be admitted to Valhalla." Hiccup took a shuddering breath.

"You mean she's flown off on a furious quest for vengeance for my death," he breathed. "Oh Thor. And you let her go alone?"

"No one could stop her!" Fishlegs protested. "I mean, she's Astrid Hofferson. And she went before we got back with the ingredients for the cure. Dagur brought word that she has been sinking Hunter ships, destroyed an auction and has wiped out the Hunter village." Hiccup stiffened.

"What?" he gasped. Fishlegs looked unhappy.

"Dagur explained it all to the Chief but he told Heather and us as well," he said. "She attacked the Hunter village, the home of the Grimborns and main recruiting source for the Hunters-and she destroyed it. According to Dagur, she killed anyone who attacked her-but she spared the old, the woman and the children. She drove them from their homes, off the island and razed the place to the ground." Hiccup sighed.

"Gods," he murmured. "If word gets round that a Dragon Rider did that..." he murmured. He shook his head. "None of us will be safe..." And then he sighed. "But she's alone..."

"Could I point out that we have been at war with the Hunters for a year? That we have blasted bases and sunk ships-and you cannot guarantee that every Hunter made it out alive..." Fishlegs pointed out and Hiccup sighed, closing his eyes.

"I know," he murmured. "And-and I understand why they died...but this isn't a battle..."

"Yes it is, son," Stoick said from the door, his eyes relieved at seeing Hiccup sitting up and talking. It was more than he could have possibly hoped with how the poison had degraded his faculties one by one. "It remains a war until they are defeated." Hiccup lifted his head, his eyes troubled.

"But this isn't a battle...it's a crazy mission for vengeance when I haven't died," Hiccup argued as his father walked towards the bed and dragged up his chair, sitting beside Fishlegs and taking his son's hand.

"Hiccup-you were captured, you were terribly tortured and they poisoned you, intending you to die a horrible death," he reminded his son. "It wasn't an action in battle, an action of honour or even decency. Your treatment was intended to terrorise and dispirit the Riders and anyone who opposed Krogan and Viggo. It was a callous, cruel, cowardly action. Astrid looked at you and saw you sinking away from her-and she said goodbye, then swore to kill those who did this to you. It is only repaying them for the terror they visited on you, the way they stole from and starved Berk and the horrible treatment they visited upon the dragons." Hiccup sighed and his hand closed on his father's.

"But Astrid wouldn't harm dragons," he murmured. "She would be vulnerable if she had to make the choice." Then Stoick lowered his eyes. "Dad?"

"Son-she's a warrior, a protector like me," he reminded his son. "I know you think differently to me. You would rather use reason and negotiate...but Astrid thinks like a Viking. And she was heartbroken when believed there was no hope. She couldn't watch and wait for you to take your last breath: she had to go out and make those responsible feel the same pain that she did." Hiccup's hand squeezed as the young man caught the edge in his father's voice.

"You would have gone as well," he realised.

"I had the village to look after-and you are my son," the Chief said quietly. "No matter my anger, I could not leave Berk-and if you died, I would have the duty to send you to Valhalla..." Hiccup looked away.

"But I wouldn't," he said softly. "I-I would've died of poison, not in battle. So I would have ended in Helheim. And though you would have given me a proper funeral, you couldn't change the rules, Dad." His voice thickened. "I would have let you down one last time..." Stoick leaned forward and wrapped his arms around his son.

"Oh son-you have never let me down," he sighed, feeling Hiccup's arms wrap around his solid shape. "I wasn't always the best father and I often made mistakes in how I believed in you-but I could not be more proud of the son...the man...you are..." Hiccup sighed and leaned against him.

"I may not be the person I was," he murmured wearily. "But I will do everything to get out there and finish this..." And then he sighed. "But first, I have to find Astrid." He looked up. "I love her, Dad-and I need her. And it hurts to think that she is out there, grieving for me." He sighed. "And though I know she is doing what she feels is right, we need to let her know that I'm alive..." Stoick gently stroked his head and sighed.

"We have no idea where she is, son," he murmured. "Maybe one of your dragons...?"

A squawk interrupted them and Hiccup's head snapped up. There was a scratching and Fishlegs ran to open the door-to see a battered blue shape flitter in-and land in a heap on the bed. Hiccup pushed away from Stoick and shuffled in the end to gently lean over the badly injured Terrible Terror. The little dragon gave a pained whimper and stuck its broken leg out. There were the ragged remains of a message attached to the limb and Fishlegs carefully untied it. Tenderly, Hiccup stroked the little dragon.

"It's Sneaky," he murmured. "Astrid's Terrible Terror."

"What does the message say, Fishlegs?" Stoick asked, frowning. The dragon had been attacked and one of his wings was ripped. There were slashes and burns along one side and the dragon was in a poor way. The husky rider peered at the parchment and groaned. Half of it had been soaked, some was charred and there were only a couple of words actually legible.

"Do...Johann...trust..." he managed. "I-I can't make anything else out."

"Nothing to indicate where she is?" Stoick asked but the husky boy handed the ravaged scrap of parchment over. The Chief frowned.

"Sorry, Chief," Fishlegs said. "That's all there is."

"And Sneaky is so injured he can't take us to Astrid," Hiccup murmured.

"You're not going anywhere, son," Stoick said firmly. Eyes concerned, Hiccup looked up.

"Astrid's out there alone, Dad," he said determinedly. "And this was important. Why else would she write to tell us to trust Johann?" He gently lifted the injured Terror in his arms. "Someone really didn't want him to make it to us." He gently stroked the whimpering reptile. "It's okay, little guy. We'll look after you..." Jumping up, Fishlegs headed towards the door.

"I'll get some bandages so we can treat him," he volunteered as Toothless gave a small croon, nudging the whimpering Terror. Hiccup looked up with concern in his eyes.

"And hurry," he said. "I'm not sure he'll make it..."