fame ; ksj
"Wow baby, that sounds super cool!" I clapped my hands in excitement as I finished reading the one-page lyrics my boyfriend "Seokjin" had written.
The words on the paper seemed to come alive, carrying the melody and emotion that flowed through his soul. Seokjin possessed an undiscovered talent, his voice soothing and his musical skills well-nourished. We had met in our college's music club, where I would often find him sitting in the library, pouring his heart into songwriting. I couldn't help but be captivated by the passion he embraced for music.
As we celebrated our three-year anniversary, we were determined to do everything possible to bring attention to the remarkable talent that Seokjin possessed. From uploading his performances on YouTube to sharing snippets of his music on Instagram reels, we tirelessly worked to spread his art far and wide.
A week had passed since Seokjin submitted his application to a newly launched agency in New York. Tomorrow was the day when the results would be declared, and the anticipation was building. It was a make-or-break moment, as he would either receive an acceptance email from the company or face the deafening silence of no response.
Every single day, I included Seokjin in my prayers, hoping that his talent and dedication would be recognized. Coming from a low-class family, he had endured countless struggles, and I had witnessed his unwavering determination to provide the best life for his parents. This opportunity meant the world to him.
After a day of laughter, conversation, and parting ways, college had come to an end. Tomorrow held a special significance. It was the day when I would log into Seokjin's email on my computer, eagerly checking for any mail from the agency. With a final prayer, I drifted off to sleep, my thoughts filled with hope and anticipation for the future.
The next morning, as I sat in front of the computer screen with a wide grin on my face, the phone rang, jolting me from my thoughts. I picked it up hastily, my heart racing. "Hi babe, good morning!" I heard Seokjin's sweet voice chime through the receiver. "No, drop all that, Jin," I urged, bringing the phone closer to my ear.
"You've been accepted by the agency!" There was a brief silence on the other end, almost as if time stood still. "Are you serious?" His disbelief was palpable, and yet, it was true. Against all odds, his dreams were about to become a reality. "Yes, baby, you're in! They've even sent you flight tickets for next month!"
---
This would be the last time I saw him before he embarked on this incredible journey. At the airport, emotions overwhelmed us, and I couldn't hold back my tears, drawing the attention of passersby. Seokjin held me tightly, his own tears mingling with mine. Neither of us wanted to let go, but we knew we had to. My prayers had been answered, and now it was time for my love to shine in the world and make his mark.
Reluctantly pulling away from our embrace, Seokjin kissed the top of my head, his eyes filled with love and sadness. "I'm going to miss you so much," He whispered, his voice cracking. Unable to find the right words, I responded with a deep, passionate kiss, a mix of love and sorrow. He held onto my waist, reluctant to let go, and I knew that he, too, cherished every second we had together.
Giving one last painful glance to me, he walked inside. And with that, he disappeared forever.
---
"Happy birthday, my love," I softly sang into the phone, my voice filled with warmth and affection as I scrolled through my MacBook. It was Jin's special day, and I couldn't help but smile unknowingly as I came across numerous posts on social media, all wishing him a happy birthday. The sheer number of fans he had gathered in just a year astounded me, and I couldn't be prouder.
"Thank you, baby. I miss you," Jin's voice came through the phone, and I could picture the pout forming on his face. I couldn't help but giggle, feeling a mixture of happiness and longing. I leaned in closer to the screen and planted a soft kiss, as if trying to bridge the distance between us.
A year without his touch felt like an eternity, and my longing for him grew with each passing day. Jin had tried to request a leave from the agency, yearning for some time together, but being a newly launched artist, his request was denied.
"When are you going to sleep? Isn't it past 12 there?" I asked, concerned about his well-being. The sound of a ringing telephone in the background indicated that he had another call coming through. "Baby, I'll call you later," Jin said, his voice tinged with regret. It was likely the last call where we could talk properly, undisturbed by the demands of his rising fame.
As I ended the call, a bittersweet feeling washed over me. The distance between us seemed more pronounced than ever, and the realization that we couldn't be together on such a special occasion weighed heavily on my heart. Nonetheless, I remained hopeful, knowing that every success he achieved brought him closer to our shared dreams.
I closed my MacBook, the screen fading to black, and gazed out the window. The night sky was filled with stars, and I whispered a silent birthday wish for Jin, hoping that he could feel my love and support from afar.
The journey we had embarked on was filled with challenges, but I knew that love could transcend any distance. And as I drifted off to sleep, I held onto the belief that our bond would remain unbreakable, no matter what obstacles lay ahead.
---
The following months were filled with a whirlwind of emotions, characterized by intense arguments, relentless practices, and a series of concerts. Jin's schedule became increasingly demanding, leaving little to no time for us to connect. I would often come across posts of him hanging out with other celebrities and close friends he had made in New York, and although it hurt, I chose to push aside my own feelings and prioritize his happiness.
In an attempt to distract myself, I threw myself into work and secured a job. I hoped that immersing myself in my professional life would help me temporarily escape the thoughts of Jin that consumed my mind. However, no matter how much I tried to engage myself, he remained a constant presence in my thoughts.
"Jin looks so cute here! I wonder if they're planning to make it official," I overheard my co-workers gossiping as I gathered my files, preparing to leave the workspace. The mention of Jin caught my attention, and I couldn't resist approaching the table where they were sitting.
My heart sank as I caught a glimpse of the post being displayed on my co-worker's phone screen.
- k-news -
Kim Seokjin, the celebrated singer, has sparked controversy after being captured in an intimate moment with a trainee from his own agency. The trainee in question is believed to be Lee Sohyun, another rising artist within the agency. A leaked photograph of the two engaged in a passionate kiss has gone viral, leaving fans and industry insiders stunned. Speculation abounds regarding the nature of their relationship, with fans expressing a mix of disbelief and disappointment. As the news spreads, the public eagerly awaits an official statement from Seokjin, Sohyun, and their agency, while the incident's impact on their careers remains uncertain.
---
My eyes widened, and a mix of shock and disbelief washed over me. It was a picture of Jin kissing a girl, their smiles radiant and their closeness undeniable. The caption hinted at a possible romantic relationship between the two.
I felt a surge of emotions rise within me—hurt, confusion, and a sense of betrayal. Questions raced through my mind, and I struggled to make sense of what I was seeing. Had I been blind to the signs? Did Jin's busy schedule push him into the arms of someone else? The image on the screen served as a painful reminder of the distance that had grown between us, both physically and emotionally.
"Wasn't he in your college, Y/n?"
I mustered the courage to speak up, my voice betraying a hint of vulnerability. "Um, yeah, he was in my college. It's great to see him doing well," I managed to say, though the words felt hollow on my lips. Deep down, I couldn't deny the pang of jealousy and the ache in my heart as I confronted the reality of Jin's possible new relationship.
With a heavy heart, I excused myself from the conversation and made my way out of the office. The world around me seemed to blur as I walked, lost in a swirl of conflicting emotions. The once bright future we had envisioned together now felt uncertain, overshadowed by doubts and the fear of losing the person I loved.
As I settled into the cab, my fingers trembled as I typed "Kim Seokjin" into the search bar and clicked on the "news" tab. My heart sank as every article displayed was about him and the girl. The blurry pictures made it difficult to confirm if it was truly Seokjin, but the doubts swirled in my mind. I couldn't hold back anymore; I had to call him.
After a few rings, Seokjin groggily answered, his voice hoarse from sleep. "Ugh, y/n, it's 5 am here. I was sleeping!" he complained. Ignoring his irritation, I pressed on, my voice laced with concern. "No, Seokjin, I need answers. What's going on with these news articles about you and that girl? Did you really kiss her?"
Silence hung in the air for what felt like an eternity. Then, Seokjin finally spoke, his tone filled with frustration. "Y/n, I'm a celebrity with over 30 million followers. Anyone can make up rumors and manipulate photos of me. Are you seriously going to believe some shitty made-up stories?"
Guilt washed over me, a knot forming in my stomach. How could I have doubted him so quickly? I immediately felt remorse and apologized. "Seokjin, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have doubted you. I didn't mean to ruin your sleep or accuse you."
"Whatever. Goodnight," he responded curtly, not giving me a chance to reply, and abruptly hung up. I understood his reaction, knowing it was the early hours of the morning for him. Determined not to dwell on negative thoughts, I made the decision to switch off my phone, hoping to find peace and clarity in the silence of the night.
---
As I sat there on my birthday, the minutes ticked by, and my phone remained eerily silent. Not a single text or call from Seokjin. It wasn't yet midnight, only 11 pm, and he had no practice scheduled for the day. The anticipation and hope of hearing from him slowly turned into disappointment.
Seeking distraction, I attended the small party my boss had organized in celebration of my birthday. Surrounded by colleagues and friends, I tried to divert my thoughts away from Seokjin, if only for a while. However, the nagging worry still lingered in the back of my mind.
Returning home, I placed my phone on the bedside table and closed my eyes, attempting to convince myself that it didn't matter if he didn't reach out. But my inner voice taunted me, whispering, "He doesn't care. He's not going to call." The lump in my throat grew, and I fought back tears, determined not to let them fall.
Gradually, fatigue took over, and I drifted into a restless sleep.
Suddenly, the ringing of my phone pierced through the silence. I groggily checked the time and caller ID—it was 11:52 pm, and it was Kim Seokjin calling. My emotions conflicted as I hesitated to answer, contemplating whether I should even pick up. Eventually, I pressed the speaker button, his voice sounding apologetic as he greeted me, "Happy birthday, Y/n."
I stared at the screen with a blank expression, unsure of how to respond. Should I thank him? Was it even worth it? Finally, I managed to mumble a half-hearted "Thank you."
It was evident that he was struggling for words. Instead of pressing further, he requested a FaceTime, a request I declined. "Why aren't you accepting it?" he inquired, and I desperately searched for a suitable response. "I'm just really tired. I don't have the energy to hold up my phone right now," I explained, the weariness evident in my voice.
Silence enveloped the call until I heard him hum in acknowledgment of my words. Wanting to break the uneasy atmosphere, I mustered the courage to ask, "Where were you today, Jin?" He let out a sigh before responding, "Mr. Lucas arranged a surprise event for our company. It was a celebration of our recent accomplishments." I mustered a simple "Oh" in response.
"Yeah. How about you? Any celebrations?" he asked, his voice laced with curiosity. Pausing for a moment to gather my thoughts, I answered, "Yeah. My boss got me a cake, and some of my coworkers joined in." He listened attentively before replying, "Aw, that's nice. I hope you enjoyed it."
Fatigue weighed heavily on my eyelids, and I struggled to stay awake. "Is it okay if I call you tomorrow? I'm really tired," I murmured, hoping for understanding. "Uh, sure, but I'm busy tomorrow," he replied casually.
"Nothing new. Goodnight," I said, ending the call. Surprisingly, he didn't attempt to call back or even send a text. It felt as though something had changed between us, leaving me with a sense of unease and uncertainty.
---
My bedroom became a battleground as I unleashed my fury, hurling and shattering objects in a fit of rage. The pain cut deep, searing through every fiber of my being. My eyes were swollen and bloodshot from endless tears. Betrayal consumed me, drowning out any semblance of reason or sanity.
The TV screen before me displayed the image of my supposed "boyfriend," Seokjin, departing Korea and heading back to New York. It was through the news that I learned of his return, and the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. He had come back after five long years without even bothering to inform me. The dream I had cherished for so long, only I knew its intensity. I yearned for his touch, his voice—his presence. I craved him.
And now he was so close, yet so far. He had returned, passing me by without a single glance. The pain coursing through me was indescribable, a feeling of abandonment that cut to the core. He knew I had seen him on the news, his face plastered everywhere, yet he made no effort to reach out. It was the ultimate betrayal.
"Babe, I'm sorry," his messages flooded my phone screen, desperate attempts to explain himself.
"Please try to understand, Y/n! Stop being so childish," he pleaded, his words falling on deaf ears.
"It was a company event that lasted a week! How could I possibly meet you in such a limited time?" his excuses continued.
"You know how strict they are about hanging out with girls, right?" he tried to justify his actions.
His messages kept pouring in, but I couldn't bear to read them anymore. I knew deep down that I was the least prioritized person in this relationship, and it was time for me to let go. Seokjin had achieved fame and success, but he had become the anchor holding me back from my own growth and happiness.
With trembling hands, I clutched the phone tightly. "Goodbye," I whispered to myself, mustering the strength to block him from every social platform. "I have done enough for you. Now it's time to focus on myself."
As I took that final step, cutting off all ties, a mix of pain and relief washed over me. The road ahead was uncertain, but it was a path where I could reclaim my identity and rebuild my shattered heart.
---
"Honey, it's time for you to get married now. How long will you stay like this?" My mother's gentle voice caressed my senses as she stroked my hair, seeking to offer solace in her own way. I laid my head in her lap, seeking comfort amidst the turmoil within me. Ignoring her words, I continued to scroll through my phone, lost in my own thoughts.
It had been a year since I cut off contact with Jin, and while life had become peaceful, there were moments when I couldn't help but miss him.
No matter how hard I tried to erase his presence from my mind, fate had its own plans. His image would inevitably appear on my "For You" page, a cruel reminder of what was lost. Each time, I would block the Jin fan pages that popped up, but they seemed to multiply endlessly, like an unending tide.
And then, my heart skipped a beat as I stumbled upon a particular reel.
The caption beneath the video read, "I wish them good luck! (I'm a little jealous tbh T-T)"
The footage depicted Jin standing proudly on a stage, receiving an award, his face radiant with joy.
A small smile tugged at the corners of my lips as I watched, witnessing how far he had come in his journey.
"This is probably one of the most emotional moments you're going to catch of me," Jin's voice resonated through the speakers, drawing laughter from the audience.
I found myself chuckling softly in response.
"Behind this trophy, lies a lot of hard work which you guys haven't seen. And the one who has helped me go through all the pain deserves a part of this!"
A fleeting thought crossed my mind, whispering, "He must be talking about you." But I quickly dismissed it. Why would he think of me? He was the one who never made an effort to reach out after that day. I reminded myself not to forget that.
"Her name is Lee Sohyun." My expression remained unchanged, a stoic mask concealing the tumultuous emotions swirling within. Why had I even entertained the hope of hearing my name?
The camera zoomed in, capturing the smiling girl sitting in the front row. It was her—the girl who had been entangled in rumors with him. So, it hadn't been photoshopped after all.
I didn't shed a tear. This outcome was to be expected. I would be fine. Life was full of struggles, and this was just another one to overcome. It's okay to stumble and face heartache.
It's a part of life's journey.
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