It should have been your birthday again today...

Your last one felt like it was just yesterday.

I find myself unable to breathe, this pain in my chest suffocates me as I think about your death.

A part of me died, knowing that I can no longer be by your side,

A void in my heart remained because I realized that you can no longer stay,

Not for a year, not even for a day!

Millions of times I cried it seemed and still I just don't know what to do,

for all my dreams and goals included Daddy and you, Mommy ko!

This emptiness is killing me, why is this happening to me?

Sleepless nights, panda eyes... each time these dates arrive...

They come like thieves in the night, reminding me of the many things we could have done and the life we could have lived together and not apart, oh! how can I ever be alright?

How can I wake up each day or night knowing that I'll never again see your eyes?

Those lovely eyes that lit so bright like diamonds in the skies,

How can I ever feel complete when everything I see... even everything about me... everywhere I look... every food that I cook, reminds me of you and without you seem so incomplete like an empty spreadsheet?

My heart aches every time I think about your name, because things will never be the same.

Tonight, I'll try to sleep again, hoping to see you in my dreams or perhaps for me to die in my sleep so we can see each other again face to face.