When the criminal movie was over, Yibo went to take a shower while Zhan sat down at his laptop and wrote Isko a text that Yibo and he thought about carefully beforehand. He wrote him; "Hi Isko, I received your email and will take care of myself. Don't worry, we are looking for a way to help you. Please let us know when your boss is back. If anything happens, write to me immediately. I have set an e-mail alert on my cell phone to inform me as soon as I receive an e-mail from you. Best regards, Zhan."

After Yibo, Zhan went to take a shower. Meanwhile, Yibo looked at a list of students who were at the university at the same time as Zhan, which Agent Lee had sent him. He used a neon yellow pen to mark the names and birthdays of the students whose birthdays were between October 1st and 10th. On another list were the current addresses of those former students, if available. However, Yibo has no plans to visit these former students with Zhan. Other agents would take care of that. He and Zhan must concentrate solely on Isla Isari.

Zhan came out of the bathroom, sat down next to Yibo and looked at the two lists. "None of the names mean anything to me. But they also studied something completely different from me. So I had nothing to do with them anyway." Zhan sighed and put the lists back on the table. He would have liked to know why Agent Nax took their blood samples and where the blood samples were now. Because Agent Lee couldn't provide an answer.

"At least if they were all the same age, it would probably be easier to find out why Agent Nax is interested in them. But they're all between the ages of 20 and 24. And I'm just going to assume that none of them know Agent Nax." Replied Yibo.

"I don't know anything anymore Yibo. I'm tired and I'm going to sleep now. At least for this night, I want to forget all this crap and dream something nice."

"I'm tired too and I'm about to go to sleep. I wish you a good, restful night and nice dreams."

"Thank you very much Yibo. I wish you the same." Zhan replied, yawned and went to his bedroom. Yibo looked after him until Zhan was no longer to be seen. Then he put the lists away, stretched extensively and went to bed too.

Zhan's guest room is small, but quite big enough for a normal-sized bed, a closet, a small table with an armchair, a floor lamp in the corner and a large lush green houseplant in the other corner. And two beautiful wall paintings that Yibo would describe as abstract art hung on the wall opposite the bed. There is a light white curtain at the window. And two black velvet curtains made sure that no light from outside could get in. All in all, Yibo thought, this is a very nice room in which he actually feels good, sleeps well and can relax.

As Yibo lay down in the bed, he smelled the fabric softener that Zhan always uses when washing. Summer breeze, as Yibo thought he remembered. The soft, fragrant pillowcase and comforter cover felt pleasant on Yibo's skin. The smooth sheets felt cool and soothing. Yibo moved his legs back and forth a few times and rubbed them against the sheet while the scent of the summer breeze tickled his nose.

Although there was no night light or television in this room, Yibo did not find it difficult to bear the darkness. He closed his eyes and felt his body begin to relax. Before he fell asleep, however, he allowed his thoughts to unfold once more. It occurred to him, not for the first time these days, that he felt unusually comfortable with Zhan.

During his training as a new agent at the training academy and from some of his colleagues, he had already heard that there were these "exceptions" in which agents felt emotionally attached to the people they were dealing with during their missions. This is completely normal and often even understandable because some missions are very intense and you unconsciously look for an anchor or an outlet, which are often the people who are part of the mission.

Yibo himself never considered himself to be a very emotional person, but he was certainly open to it. However, he had never developed such a feeling in his few previous missions. Either because the missions weren't intense enough for him to develop this feeling, or because the people didn't interest him in the first place. He wasn't sure about that. And he didn't care. All he knew was that Zhan meant a lot to him and that he was afraid to show it.

Yibo could still clearly remember one of the instructors saying: "You will hear from many agents that it is wrong and fatal to get involved with people you get to know during a mission. Because there is a danger that emotions will distract you from your actual goal. But none of these agents will tell you how you can arm yourself against developing feelings. And why won't anyone tell you that? Well, because it's not possible. At some point in your careers, you will have missions that demand everything from you. Emotionally and physically draining. And then you need someone to be an anchor for you, or an outlet. And something quickly arises that was actually forbidden to you."

"That definitely won't happen to me. They chose me because I'm good at controlling emotions." Shouted one of the agents. Yibo himself never thought of himself as a very emotional person, but even he knew that was nonsense.

The instructor looked at the new agent and laughed. "Tell me, do you want to work in the office or in the field?"

The new agent stood up and replied: "In the field, sir."

"And do you have any siblings?"

"Yes sir, two little sisters."

"And you love your little sisters very much?"

"Yes sir, more than anything."

"Good. And have you ever fallen head over heels in love with someone?"

"Yes sir."

"All right. Then let's put together a mission for you. Let's say you complete the tough training, become a field agent and have missions that don't really affect you emotionally. But then you get a new mission that you already know will take at least six months. You are told to approach a pretty woman and win her over. You are supposed to enter into a fake relationship with her, with all that that involves, because the agency hopes to obtain information about a target through her. Your job is to strengthen her trust in you so that she simply tells you everything you want to hear. As it happens, this woman has two small children. Girls aged 2 and 4. They always have cute hairstyles and wear pretty dresses. You prepare yourself, try to get closer to the woman, can finally ask her out on a date, you see each other again, then again and then on the next date for a picnic, she brings her daughters, who immediately like you and want to play ball with you or whatever. The woman is thrilled, you start a relationship, she falls head over heels in love with you and the children see you as their great new daddy, who they quickly fall in love with. Everything goes great, you get used to the new situation and you play the super great family. And then bang! Suddenly, from one day to the next, the mission is over and you have to leave the family you've become so attached to. You can no longer have any contact with the beautiful woman you've been sharing your bed with for the past 6 months. And the children, the two sweet girls who enthusiastically called you Daddy, drew you pictures and told you that they loved you, you can no longer see them either. You know that the woman is crying her eyes out because she doesn't understand and misses you. And the girls will cry bitterly because their new daddy just left them. Do you really think that would leave you cold?"

The new agent stood there staring at the instructor with teary eyes. He shook his head and could barely get the words out through his sobs: "No sir."

"Have a seat. I hope you understand now. Hardly any agents manage to isolate themselves so emotionally and remain cold. Why is that? Well, although we are agents, we are still human beings with a heart and a soul. And so my dear New Agents, I say to you, if you find yourself in a situation where you develop feelings, or simply a friendship, for a person who is directly or indirectly involved in a mission, don't fight those emotions. Because you need these people. They are your anchor, your outlet and can help you get through the mission. And when the mission is over, you say goodbye to these people and keep them gratefully in your memory and in your heart. And in cases where love arises and you know that you want to stay with this person, you can request an exception for this person from your respective supervisors. Only rarely do supervisors refuse these requests. And why? Because they themselves know how important it is to have an anchor and an outlet. Someone to support you emotionally." The instructor explained.

Yibo wondered how he felt about Zhan? Is he emotionally attached to Zhan? For example, through a friendship? Or is Zhan his outlet where he can simply let out some air before he bursts? Or, and Yibo actually found this thought difficult to accept, did Yibo's emotional attachment to Zhan go in a completely different direction?

At just 24 years old, Yibo has never thought about emotional and physical relationships with other people, so he has no idea what he's into. During his time at school, none of his classmates, male or female, had ever attracted him in any way. He didn't have time to fall in love anyway. He had to study, was in a basketball team, dance club, choir, raced motorcycles in the youth league, learned tricks on a skateboard and cultivated all his other talents. There had never been time for love.

But now, after spending a few days with Zhan, he was beginning to have second thoughts. He felt an affection for him that was foreign to him. What's more, he doesn't just watch Zhan, he looks at him closely and feels an unusual and beautiful tingling sensation. And then there was this hot bubbling inside him whenever Zhan talked about Isko or he saw Zhan and Sia fooling around with each other. This hot bubbling was, as he now understood, actually jealousy. And the idea of not being allowed to see Zhan after the mission made him feel sick to his stomach. He even had a real stomach ache and was sweating as he imagined having to say goodbye to Zhan forever.

But if he really felt what he thought he did about Zhan, it would mean that he liked men. And that thought was difficult for him. Because being gay in this country meant that there was something wrong with him. Something that is rejected by most people here. And it meant that he would never be able to marry or have children. He would never be a husband and father. His parents would never become grandparents. He could never announce his love publicly and keep it a secret for the rest of his life.

And even though all these things ran through his mind and scared him, there was this little voice inside him that told him not to be afraid. This little voice told him that everything would be all right. And suddenly Yibo knew that he wasn't going to run away from it. Even though he has no idea what that even means. And he's not ready for anything yet. He needs time. He needs time to process what he's just found out about himself. And he needs to think about how to deal with it. With these thoughts, Yibo finally fell asleep.