"Trust me...I won't mind if you decide to seduce me during my meetings Ms Sonakshi Bose..."

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Sona's POV

I have always been a giver, warm and loving. Even as a child I never cried or seeked attention from others. I always did my best to make others happy. Often people sought me in times of trouble and I gave all I had. My heart, soul and anything which would shower only love upon them. By the age nine adults found their happiness with me, told me their woes and assured me that I was their spark of light.

Yet when my time to suffer came, nothing could help me. No blessings.... No promises... Nothing helped me.

Over time, I have learnt how to tolerate pain by sitting alone on my balcony and staring at the blank sky. They reflected my feelings. It's like a void. A dark void. A never-ending dark void that consumes everything and leaves me with nothing. Empty.

I closed my eyes and let my mind travel back to the horrible days...

Flashback

3 years ago...

Sonakshi was the happiest person on earth as she had everything she wanted. Good family, friends and an awesome boyfriend. She valued each and every moment that was spent with Dev until one day...

There was a girl waiting for Sonakshi outside the college. She approached Sonakshi when she saw her walking outside.

"Hi, can I talk to you for a moment?" she asked.

"Uhmm..yes. May I know who is this by the way?" Sonakshi asked.

"My name is Neha. I am...Dev's sister." The girl introduced herself.

"Ouhh...Urmm actually Dev should be having his football training now. Do you want me to call him for you?" Sonakshi asked nervously. She knew Dev's family did not know anything about their relationship. So she tried her best to behave normally.

"No...actually, I came to meet you. If you don't mind, can we sit down somewhere and talk?" Neha asked. Neha's request made Sona even more anxious.

"Yea sure..." Sonakshi said as they walked to a nearby bench and sat there.

"Hmm...I don't know how I should put this but I want to request you first. Please don't tell Dev about whatever we have talked here. Please?" Neha started.

"Urm...I can't promise you... But I will try." Sonakshi spoke honestly. Every minute felt like a ticking bomb.

"I know about your relationship with bhai...." she said looking down.

Sonakshi was shocked at first but she was quick to calm herself down. She had too many questions running on her mind. She tried to ease the tension by taking the conversation friendlier.

"Urm ok..actually Dev told me he had a sister. But never spoke up much, as he told me that he would introduce me to everyone only after revealing his family about our relationship. So that's why... I thought you didn't know about me either." Sonakshi said and Neha gave a small smile.

"It's ok... Anyway, your love story is already quite famous everywhere. There is no point in hiding it anymore. The whole college knows it. Coming to the point, I wanted to tell you that our family company is going on a financial loss..... My father and mum are really struggling and there is a lot of problems at home due to that............... Also my dad had asked Dev bhai for help and he openly denied it." Neha paused.

She told Sonakshi about everything that has been happening at home. Sonakshi knew from the news that Dev's family business was facing some troubles but she did not talk to Dev about it since she did not want to invade too much in his family matters, unless he shared it with her. Therefore, Sonakshi did not understand what Neha was trying to tell her.

"Do you know the reason why he rejected mum's and Dad's help?" Neha asked with a stern tone. Sonakshi just shook her head in denial. She was nervous towards where this conversation was leading towards to.

"Because he is in love with you!!! He doesn't want to help out in the family business because of your love. If he helps my dad with the Australia Company, then there are high chances of our company falling back in shape. But he doesn't want to leave you! I need your help Sonakshi...please... " she pleaded while Sonakshi stood there stunned. She did not understand what help Neha was asking her.

"What do you want me to do?" she asked breathing heavily.

"Leave my brother.." Neha said in an angry tone, making all the blood from Sona's face drain.

Sonakshi's heart broke into a million pieces. The grief surged with every expelled breath, always reaching higher peaks, never sufficiently soothed by her long intakes of the damp spring air. Tears began to spill from her helpless eyes.

"No...I...ca...cann..ot...please.. I can't.. I will just talk to Dev about this. I am sure he will agree if I say. Definitely separating is not the only solution. Please don't say that." Sonakshi pleaded.

"No Sonakshi, he is hell bent on not listening to all of us....I swear he won't listen to you as well...... In fact I can promise you something else too." she lowered her head in agony.

"Promised what?"

"That if you leave him, I will convince my parents to arrange for your marriage once he is back from Australia. I can promise you that for sure!" she said, making Sonakshi narrow her eyes in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"I am sure in this condition, my parents would never accept you as our family's daughter in law. You don't know about them. They need a daughter in law with at least the same status as them. And now if they know that you are the reason behind Dev declining to go to Australia, they will definitely despise you. Just think about it..." she said making Sonakshi's eyes widen in shock.

"But-"

"Plus, I don't think you can talk to Dev bhai about this...I am 100% sure he will decline you too. I know my brother well... If he knows that I have come here to talk about this to you, he will argue with us at home too." Neha said with a sympathetic look.

"But...I can't leave him.... He is my everything, Neha. How? How can I do this......t-to.....h-him...." Sonakshi couldn't finish her sentence as there was a lump rising in her throat.

"Don't worry....if you leave him now, he will be back to India in a year or two. Please..." Neha joined her hands and pleaded making Sonakshi step back in fear. Tears flowed from her eyes in pain.

Without listening to anything else Sonakshi ran away from there, ignoring Neha's voice behind.

She ran home and cried at her situation. The awful hollowness, the waves of wretchedness threatened to engulf her mind, body and soul.

Next day when she came to college, she ignored everyone and distanced herself from her friends. She realized that Pooja noticed her changes. When she tried to ignore Dev for some time to clear her mind, he was giving her a difficult time. He was being extremely sweet towards her. She failed to distance herself from him.

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't distance her mind from Dev. She would find herself being lulled into his ways. Dev was the hardest to resist. He was always there for her. Even a little dullness in her face, he would be there to shower her with love.

Sona felt horrible with her life. She was clueless on what to do.

Days passed.....

Seeing Dev's face everyday reminded her of Neha's conversation. She wanted to confront Dev, but she was scared that he would go home and fight with his family. Knowing about Dev's rage and temper, Sonakshi just stayed silent. Dev tried to cheer her all the time but she wasn't in the mood to entertain him. She knew she was rude to him but at least that would make him hate her more and take a break from her.

She really wanted him to go to Australia. She even tried to talk to him about going overseas and taking a break after his graduation. But he never gave it a thought and always brushed the topic away. He was hell-bent on staying with her all the time. She became confused day by day until one night, Dev called her to the ice-cream shop.

.......................................................

"What's wrong Dev?"

Without saying anything he hugged her tightly. He nuzzled his face in her neck and kept mumbling sweet nothings in her ears. She was confused over his sudden change in behaviour. Dev had always been her rock. She had never seen him in such a confusing state but today he was not himself. She knew that she had to distract him.

She pulled him and gave him a long smooch. Before she could pull away from him, she felt him sucking her lower lip and his hands gripped her waist possessively. She knew that if she let him kiss her, she would completely break down in front of him. Therefore, she immediately pulled away abruptly from the kiss.

"What happened?" he asked looking confused.

"I am not in the mood Dev.. Tell me why you called me here suddenly?" she said curtly. After all that was another way of hurting him.

"Urmm...some family problems Sonakshi.." he trailed.

"Oh.. Ok. Just that?" she replied coldly.

She wanted to ask more but stopped herself. She somehow knew that it was about his family business. She did not want to feel guilty again. She knew what his problems were and only she had the solution for it, which she did not want to do.

"What's wrong Sona? Why are you being like this for the past few days? I know you are angry at me for a reason...but I need to know why na? What did I do? You know we can always talk it out....you are the only person I can lean on to nowadays. You know how much I love you right? " he told her sincerely.

For a moment a hurt look crossed her face... She wanted to console him, cry to him, make him happy but things were getting out of hand. If she chose to be selfish now, she would lose Dev for an entire lifetime. Was she that selfish? She desperately needed time to think so without waiting she gave the shittiest reply that she could ever think of.

"Stop being dramatic Dev... Sometimes love itself is not enough to hold a relationship!"

"What do you mean?" he asked as his eyes went wide listening to her rude remark.

"You know what I mean!" she said and left the place.

...................................

After Sonakshi left the place, tears were pooling down from her eyes. The pain in her chest was unbearable. She ran towards her house until she met a lady standing outside her house. Her car was also parked few distance away from her house. When their eyes met, Sonakshi got shocked.

"Ishwari Aunty..." Sona whispered, immediately recognising Dev's mother.

"Namaste beta... I guess I do not need to introduce myself." Ishwari said while Sonakshi stood numb in her place. She just hoped that her parents do not come down and catch them.

"Namaste Aunty... Urmm.... You...are Dev's mum right?"

"Yes.... I know Neha has spoken to you, beta...Please consider her advice. I promise you that I will speak about your marriage to your parents once Dev returns from Australia. Dev needs some time. All you need to do is to leave him for now. It's not permanent, I promise... Sometimes certain relationships gets stronger when they are distanced. Trust me.... If you listen to me than my entire family will accept you wholeheartedly... If you do not care about parent's blessings...then..."

"No...Aunty.. I will do it. But will Dev ever forgive me... How can I hurt him?" Sonakshi cried as her knees gave up. She sat on the edgy road sobbing in front of Ishwari making her panic.

"Sona beta...look here... I know that it is hurting for you. But trust me, I will ask him for forgiveness and explain everything to him once he is back...Trust me, beta. He will believe you. He will definitely forgive us. Eventually, he will understand why we did this. But please...By separating from him, you are saving my family from drowning into debts....Please beta" Ishwari pleaded as Sonakshi buried her face in her hands and nodded in defeat.

She have never felt this helpless in her life before. Satisfied with her answer, Ishwari left that place leaving a lifeless Sonakshi on the road, crying till her hearts content.

.......................................................

The next day with a heavy heart she broke the horrific news to Dev. The look of betrayal on Dev's face killed her. She died every second by his gaze. Every words Dev said were cutting her insides as if they were shards of glass.

"Dev...I won't say it's all about money..............................but it is essential." She said feeling so low and disgusted by coming out with such a cheap lie. She never loved his money. She was ready to live even in a jungle if Dev was there.

He held her wrist and jerked her towards him. He hugged her tightly and spoke,

"Sona...this is not you. Tell me what's bothering you. My Sona can never do this. I am sure we can solve this matter if we speak patiently. I can work harder if you want...my god... I love you and I know you love me more than this. You can't do this pleaseee" he begged.

It took all the energy in her to control her tears from him. She knew that one day, she would have to pay for her sins but she couldn't go against his family. She wanted everyone with Dev. He loved his family, so does she. She wanted him with his family. She never wanted to separate him from his family.

Even though the truth was in the tip of her tongue, Sona couldn't find the courage in her to break it to him.

"Sonakshi...you can't do this to me...you know I can't live without you," Dev pleaded, making Sonakshi weak again.

"I am sorry Dev.... I can't do this. I can't live with a person who I am not sure how my life is going to shape up. I want to live with someone who has a status and someone who can support me financially. I am not sure if you can do that now." she replied making her voice stern and strong.

She felt disgusted with her own words when it came out.

"Does money and status mean everything to you?" Dev asked in an unbelievable voice. If his tears didn't kill her by then, his harsh words definitely did.

"....YES"

The minute she replied, she turned and walked away from him not able to witness the hatred in his eyes. The same eyes which held immense love for her all the time, were reflecting a different emotion now. Even when she was annoying and irritating him, his eyes always looked at her with love. Pure love.

Now, she had finally lost it all.

When she walked away, her tears had now ran down till her neck. She wanted to hurt herself badly for doing this to Dev.

"Did you not love me even once? Was it all acting?..................... Not even one minute in our entire two and a half year relationship?" Dev's desperation made Sona's heart melt.

Sona halted in her steps when she heard his question. Her back was still facing him. The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down her face. She knew that if she looked at Dev's face one last time, she would run to him and find the solace in his arms. She wouldn't be able to escape his questions anymore.

One look at her face would be enough for Dev to become suspicious. She almost wanted to change her mind and tell Dev everytging. This much of pain.... Was it worth it?

But his mother's promise flashed in her mind for one last time. And that's when she decided, that she would do this.

"I used to love you Dev..." she hardly brought herself to reply as she continued walking away. Her love was strong enough to kill her. She knew she will always love him forever. No one could replace Dev in her heart but....

One thing kept running in her mind constantly.

She lost his trust.

*Flashback ends*

I turned every moment we spent together into painful memories. They are sharp and they cut right through me everytime I think about the past. Even the sweet good moments we had, are now turned into a knife that kills my already broken heart.

I got cheated! Yes, I did. After that incident, Dev went Australia just like how everyone in his family wanted but I couldn't get hold of anyone from their house. I tried to contact Neha and Ishwari aunty, but I couldn't reach them by any means. I just waited. My heart couldn't accept that I got betrayed.

Everyone asked me the reason behind my break-up but how could I tell them the truth when Dev himself did not know. I waited for the right time to tell Pooja and Jatin but Pooja was angry at me. All the seniors despised me thinking that I was a gold digger. It suited me. I accepted the name happily. I deserved it after all. For all the hurt I inflicted on Dev, I was ready to accept all kind of pain from the rest of the people.

Few days later, I came to know from Jatin that Dev's family moved out to another place. They were no longer staying at the same address. I felt so crushed and defeated. I felt so ashamed of myself. I had no idea how to make things right. I wanted to contact Ishwari aunty and know how was Dev doing. But the whole family disappeared after Dev's departure.

Everytime I looked at Jatin, my eyes held loads of gratitude towards him. No one supported me like how he did. He too lost his friend because of me, but why was he standing on my side? What good deed did I do to deserve such a selfless friend like Jatin?

Everytime Jatin supported me, I wanted to tell him the truth. But something in me stopped me from saying it. I had no courage to tell the truth. I did not even have any proof with me. Everyone assumed I was hiding it from them. But they did not know how hard I was trying to open up with them.... I was just scared that everyone would start judging me. What if they don't trust me?

I couldn't keep these secrets within me. It was painful. I wanted to share the pain with someone desperately.

I closed my eyes again and thought about that terrible night which left me completely shattered....

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2 years back...

Sonakshi was walking along the market side with her mum when she saw Ishwari buying something on the opposite side of the shop. She was extremely happy. All her hopes came back... Quickly excusing herself from her mother, Sona rushed from there to meet Ishwari. When Ishwari saw Sona, she froze on her spot.

"Hi aunty....I actually came.."

"Sorry beta... I know what you want to say but listen carefully. Dev has left to Australia. He has decided to move on and get married to another girl of his choice. So, I would advise you to move on as well!..........and don't ever follow us." Ishwari said with a harsh tone .

Her comment was so out of character. From whatever Sonakshi knew of her, Ishwari just sounded so different from it. Sona just stared at the old lady with open-mouthed. Her brain formulated no thoughts other than to register that she was shocked.

"But...you told me..."

"I know what exactly I told you...but you have to understand that we are different. Our status does not match. I do not wish my son to marry some cheap lady who is after his money and status. It would be better if you find someone who is the same level as you in terms of wealth! And please don't try to see me again" Ishwari said and started walking away.

Sonakshi just stood stunned as all the colours from her face drained. As Sonakshi thought of the betrayal, her lipped curled and her nostrils flared. Her mind felt as if lead were coursing though it instead of blood. Her dreams of patching up with Dev now felt as if they were just dreams. She walked like a lifeless person towards her mum. She couldn't bear to look at Ishwari again as all she felt was anger and disgust. Total disgust.

She felt cheated, betrayed and lost. She lost the only person who trusted her. Her Dev. She felt as if her heart was bleeding. She tried sleeping once she went home but there was not even an ounce of sleep she could catch. She knew her life was gone. Reality hit her hard. She couldn't overcome the fact that she needed to live her life without Dev from then on.

She immediately went to the kitchen and took a handful of sleeping pills. She closed her eyes one last time before uttering the words she wanted to convey at last....

"I am sorry Dev..."

*Flashback ended*

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I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have survived that night. I agree I was too stupid to have taken the decision. I did not even once think about my parents and friends. I was too selfish, but the pain in my heart stabbed me till I was forced to take such decisions.

After the whole incident, I started to live like a lifeless robot. I faked my happiness before my parents and friends. I worked extremely hard to reach the position I am in today. I am finally independent and strong. The events in my life unknowingly taught me a good lesson about trust.

I never forgave myself for what I did to Dev, but ever since I heard the news of him getting married, it completely shattered me. I did not blame him because I knew he deserved every ounce of happiness in his life. My parents kept insisting me to get married but I was not interested in marriage at all.

If a day comes by where I can forget Dev, then that would be the day I would think about marriage.

And that day did not come till now...

I always prayed the best for Dev but the moment I saw him back as the CEO of our company, all the memories rushed back to me. A small hope developed in my heart but when I knew he came back for revenge, all my hopes got completely destroyed.

I accepted his punishment with open arms....

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Phewwww...that was Sona's POV!!! A long one in fact. Hope you all like it. It's a bit sad but yea I hope this explains all your questions.

Can you believe I wrote that within an hour? Until next update... see ya ;)

Precap : Dev in Sonakshi's house