Suddenly Roxy stood up to stretch and happened to see the karaoke machine that Big Freda had placed under her chair.

She pounced on Big Freda and made her jump.

Are you bleeping hiding that karaoke machine or what? That's what this party needs, right guys?

Everyone called out in agreement.

It doesn't verk very vell, protested Big Freda.

Then vhy bring it along you silly old cow. Come on, ve'll be the judge of that, said Roxy, mimicking her accent. Bring it on, and with that, she plugged it in, grabbed her friend Danae's hand and sang I Will Always Love You. A karaoke favourite made popular by Whitney Houston.

After they'd finished, Roxy proudly announced that she was entering the new Australia Goes Pop competition.

Don't sing that then, called out one of the guests. Stace and  I couldn't see who it was; there were just too many people.

Oi, whoever the bitch was who said that, can meet me outside later and I'll bloody sort you out. That's Roxy for you, one tough cookie. She would do it too, we knew, cos she used to be in the Spite Club and at one time was a friend of Mandi Mason, who, you may remember us telling you, is the Spite Club ringleader.

Some of the other guests, after Roxy and Danae's performance and a few more drinks, got up the nerve to sing. These included

Oops I Did It Again by Britney Spears

Don't Go Breaking My Heart, by Elton John and Kiki Dee

You're The One That I Want by Olivia Newton-John and JohnTravolta

Dancing Queen by Abba

Mamma Mia by Abba

I Love Rock'n'Roll by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

Barbie Girl by Aqua

The singing was pretty bad; actually really awful. Dr Una called it a cat's concert, 

but  Stace and I agreed that it was far more fun than Big Freda's juvenile games.

Who wants to hear some juicy goss, guys, called out Roxy, who was by now in life of the party mode. Wolf whistles and cat calls went up while Roxy and Danae argued about who was going to spill the scandal.

In the end they both did, abbreviated with much laughing and hiccupping.

OK , this is about our friend Delfine who runs the so-called Academy of Beauty. You all know her?

Yeah, came the raucous replies, just get on with it.

She isn't here is she?

Nah, said everyone, looking around to check and make sure.

Well, lately we have this courier driver who brings the stock to the academy and Delfine has got this big crush on him. Don't know why, he's a weedy, dorky looking bloke, called Darryl. Delfine calls him Daz.

Danae continued, Yeah, and they've been on like, one date. Anyway, they arranged a second date, or rather Delfine the desperado, organised it. She wanted him to come to hers for a champagne bath.

OMG, asked a wide-eyed Brit, were they going to bath in champagne?

No, Delfine said she was going to run a hot pink bubble bath and drink lots of bubbly while they were in in the bath. That was yesterday. There was a pause, while the two howled with laughter.

Why did she tell you, darl? asked Wendy. I'm coming to that, continued Roxy, this morning at break time she told me, cos she was like real upset and made me swear not to tell anyone else, but here we are guys. She and Danae erupted into gales of laughter again, joined by the rest of the room.

Go on, what happened then, squealed Brit.

Well, she got the bath ready, put in bubbles, started drinking champagne and waited and waited.  After  an hour and a half, still no Darryl. By now the bath was  cold and Delfine was getting angrier and really pissed off. To comfort herself, she decided to get out, run some more hot water and bubble mix and grab another bottle of champagne, cos she'd, like finished one already.

Just as she was climbing out, in walked Darryl. She'd been stupid enough to leave the door

 unlocked for him. Any old psychopath could have come in.

And he took her photo, quick as a flash and guess what girls. He's going to post it on Facebook

and Instagram and invite people to think up captions.  

Roxy and Danae were by now doubled over, they were laughing so much.

Imagine how ugly Delfine would have looked; all wrinkly and saggy

Yu-uk roared everyone.

Youse two are terrors, chortled Wendy, who was wiping tears from her eyes, and do youse need to use the loo, cos with all you've been drinking and giggling, youse might have an accident, which will be gross for everyone.

This hens' night, which began by being as boring as bat shit, had now turned into the party of the month, the place to be.

All the women were now fixated on the phones, including me and Stace.

OMG, here it is, screeched Wendy. OMG No wonder Delfine didn't come tonight. I'd throw myself off a tall building if a photo of me, like that, appeared on social media. Not that it would of course, she added, I'm much younger, better looking and trimmer.

As more of the guests saw Delfine's disastrous exposure, the room filled with howls of laughter and shrieks of devilish delight. Wendy then passed around packets of Tim-Tams and fairy bread, which did little to soak up the effects of all the alcohol people had drunk.

The icing on the cake was when Wendy brought out a crate of cheap bubbly, supplied by Wally's (he's Whit's dad) friend in the wine business. Corks popped and giggling and hilarity continued into the night.

We noticed that Whit was still sulking for some reason and went storming off to her room. Big Freda left to go home at the same time. However, the party guests weren't going to let that spoil their evening and began to dance to Taylor Swift's Shake it Off, the volume turned up fully. They then formed a conga line and took it outside, singing and hollering.

The merriment only ended when two local cops, Gary and Sally, knocked on the door to spoil everyone's fun about the volume being too loud for the neighbours. Sally, obviously a new recruit, started jigging along to the music, until given a stern nudge by Gary.

Sorry, Sarge, muttered a blushing Sally, trying not to jiggle (that's a mix of jig and giggle).

Stuff them.

Stace and I were too drunk to drive home and we passed out on Wendy's couch, which was pretty damned uncomfortable. Other guests either staggered home, or flaked out on the floor of the lounge, some in the kitchen and bathroom. We awoke to the sounds of Whitney and Britney arguing and others exclaiming over their selfies taken at the party. What a night.

Luv youse always

Lacey and Stacey.xxx