Hi everyone, Lacey and Stacey back with your latest staff profile and guess what: Delfine of Delfine's Academy of Beauty has been outed as a pathological liar. We've already told you about Kara-Lyn and her lies, back in Scrubber Town. Well, Delfine is giving Kara-lyn a run for her money. However, lately these two seem to have become BFFs and have been seen in Scrubber-Town at the Stuff-Ya-Face cafe bonding over their pink-iced finger buns and most likely, outrageous Pathological lies. Delfine also sits there and smokes like a chimney. Smoking is still permitted in eateries in Scrubber Town and Dark Park. The no-smoking police haven't bothered to pay us a visit yet.

Anyway, here's Delfine's story. Delfine started life in a country town. Her Mum was the local hairdresser. As Delfine became a teenager, she'd give women a mini facial, often using her Mum's scented oils, especially Rose Geranium, whether it was wanted or not. One woman developed hives and another pimples. Sometimes Delfine, on request from her mother, just gave them some blusher and eyeshadow;

Delfine's Mum was the local hairdresser.

This will improve your look a whole lot, Delfine would say encouragingly.

Delfine's Mum would have lost customers, except that it was too far to travel to the next town.

One day, Delfine says, a French woman and her husband came into the salon. They were part of a film crew, shooting a movie. The woman was part of the hair and make-up team. On this day they saw Delfine giving her mini facials and after some discussion with Delfine and her mum, asked whether Delfine would like to go to Paris, where she could learn how to give treatments properly and therefore make a living.

They said that their salon in Paris was frequented by French movie stars and models .Delfine jumped at the chance and she left her country town and flew to Paris to do beauty training there. Madame said she was outstanding. Stace just nudged me and said that maybe she meant outstandingly bad. Okay, I think we've finished giggling now.

Unfortunately, Delfine didn't like Paris. She struggled to speak French and the clients laughed at her attempts and criticised her clothes, as Delfine hadn't bothered to buy anything new in Paris and her clothes were still what she'd worn in her country town back in Oz. The best part about Paris was the croissants, of which Delfine ate far too many and gained quite a lot of weight. Before she'd been quite thin, so this was another source of ridicule from the clientele.

Delfine tried to fit into the French way of life, to no avail.

Shortly afterwards, she met a multi-millionaire who asked her to come to the Caribbean with him. She would give beauty treatments to his wife and her friends and he said he'd teach her to Scuba dive. Delfine claims to have become one of the best divers in the region and that she was one of the top instructors. She claims to have even had her photo on the cover of a diving magazine. However, the sea water was playing havoc with her skin and drying it out badly, so with the money she'd earned on the island she took leave and shouted herself to a luxury trip around the world. All business class seats and five or even six-star hotels.

On one of her flights, she met another multi-millionaire and almost married him, but dumped him when she found out he was involved in organised crime. After dumping him her life was in danger and she spent the next two years hiding from him, which led her back to Oz.

OMG, these stories are as good as, if not better than, Kara-Lyn's. Too bad they're not true. We heard that Delfine actually did her beauty diploma at a salon in the suburbs; not in Emu Heights, but in Possum Park, on the other side of Beauvais Heights. As far as we know she hasn't done much in the way of travel except to Bali and a Pacific Cruise. Still,  like Lainie and Janie once said, if you're a Pathological liar, with a good imagination, you're never boring.

 The Shock/Horror files: Wait, before we finish, we did hear a rumour that Delfine spent some time in the circus, painting the faces on clowns; (no wonder the kids ducked for cover), she might have even married one of them. We love that rumour; it's awesome, although we have to say we're not sure whether it's true. Here's a good Raving Lunatic toast to pathological liars.

Two of Delfine's clown creations. Is it any wonder that kids ran away screaming.