https://youtu.be/N23X70m37L8

My survival instincts kick in immediately, and I realize that my only chance of getting out of this alive is by taking cover. I run through the door and dive underneath the counter while the explosions coming from the bathroom are overpowered by the deafening booms in the sky. One final thunderous blast follows a bright flash that lights up the entire store.

"Hey, Son!" the Mayor yells to me from the toilet. "Everything okay out there?"

Reassuring myself that it probably wasn't a nuclear attack, I stand up slowly. Curiosity pulls me towards the door again. The aftermath of whatever the fuck I just witnessed is lying in the field just a few hundred feet away. Even though my brain refuses to comprehend what I am seeing, my eyes tell me that it appears to be a small spacecraft.

The metallic object's exterior looks completely scorched, and black smoke billows out from the back end. A huge trail of broken cacti and displaced dirt leads all the way up to the crash site. It must have dragged across the ground for at least half a mile. I continue watching and wonder if I am about to see the end of the world unfold.

An alien invasion. It's happening. It's actually happening.

The contraption's portal blasts open. Startled, I jump backwards and slam against the register. A dark figure appears standing on top of the spacecraft. Across the expanse of desert, the creature turns his head quickly to face my direction. It leaps onto the ground now and begins walking towards the store.

The head is round and bulbous. And it's tall. Must be a Grey.

As it approaches the store, my stomach flops over and sinks like a dead fish. My backs slides against the counter while I drop to the floor. Curling into a ball, I begin to picture how this interaction will play out.

Will it fry me with a laser beam? Abduct me? Probe my ass as some kind of a joke?

Instead of lying down and taking it, I decide to make an attempt to defend myself... but the only weapon closest to me is a mop. I scramble onto my knees and reach for it. Gripping it in my hand, I try not to shake while the creature steps into the store.

Aside from the black shield of its helmet, the entire suit is wine-colored. The glossy armor is thick with weird ridges on the surface. The outfit almost looks like it was made out of licorice. Whatever this thing is, it seems a little less threatening than before... until I notice that there is, in fact, a gun strapped to its belt.

Still on my knees, I close my eyes and begin saying a genuine prayer for the first time in my life. "Please, God, Jesus, save me. Someone help me. I don't wanna die. I'm so sorry, Wilma. I should have proposed to you when I had the chance." I hear the creature's heavy footsteps move closer. My prayer turns into a pathetic plea. "I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die a twenty-five-year-old virgin who still lives with his mom. Please don't let that happen. Please!"

I'm still here. My body hasn't turned into a pile of ash. My asshole is still intact.

"You alright out there, Son?" the Mayor calls to me. "Hold on a second. I just gotta straighten myself out, and I'll be right there."

Slowly, I open one eye and find the alien staring at me. It cocks its head, examining me like I'm a fascinating specimen. Gathering a sense of dignity once more, I decide that I'm not going down without a fight. "Back!" I yell pointing the mop at it.

It holds up its hands as if to show that it isn't a threat, which surprises the shit out of me.

Still terrified, I ask, "What are you?"

The unidentified creature reaches for its helmet, twists it to the side and lifts it off its head. In an anti-climactic moment, I realize that it is a human--or at least, a humanoid. Physically speaking, it appears to be male, although it has considerably long black hair. His face is cut up a bit, and judging by the smoke still rolling off his body, it looks like he's been to Hell and back.

I think of Wilma and her speech. Maybe it isn't a "he" or a "she." Maybe he doesn't have a gender. At the risk of making an erroneous assumption, I refer to it as a "he" simply because my brain is trying to attach some sort of earthly comprehension to whatever the lifeform is.

The "man" loses interest in me and walks to the slushy machine. I blink a few times, watching him fill up a cup with the cherry-flavored ice drink. He jabs a straw in and wraps his lips around it. After he sucks the soul out of the cup, he tosses it into the trash and looks back at me. A line of cherry slush drips down from the corner of his mouth.

He lifts his hand in the air awkwardly and finally speaks. "Hello."

"H-hi," I answer.

After staring at me for an uncomfortably long time, he takes a step backward, then another. He suddenly makes a beeline to the Falcon still running out in front. He hops in, buckles the seatbelt, and speeds away with the tires squealing.

At the same time, Mayor Mosely walks out of the bathroom. An awful stench follows him. Still fumbling with his belt, he looks at me, then at the empty parking spot where his car used to be. "What the hell happened here?!"

Sitting cross-legged on the floor with my back leaned against the counter, I simply answer, "I don't know."

"Bastard!" he shouts, watching the tail lights fade in the distance. "Oh, he'll pay for this. Wait 'til I get the Sheriff on the phone," he says, dialing 911 on his cell.

Cop cars pull into the parking lot, and the first to arrive on the scene is Sheriff Seward. He walks into the store holding a coffee. "Drake?" he asks, offering me his free hand. "You okay?"

I pull myself up with his help. "Yeah, I'm fine... it's just. I have no idea what I just saw."

"Neither do I," he says, looking up at the sky. Before I have a chance to ask him if he watched the alien crash too, Mayor Mosely starts unloading on him.

"Somebody stole my Falcon!"

"That's why you called?" the Sheriff asks, raising an eyebrow.

Offended, Mayor Mosely glances at me then back at him. "Of course I did! There's a criminal on the loose. Ya gotta go catch him before he's gone!"

"Yes, Mr. Mayor." The Sheriff nods. "I'll file a report and send out a message right away--but first thing's first. Did you see where that blast came from? Is anyone hurt?"

"What on God's green Earth are you talking about?" the Mayor asks. His frustration clears for a moment as he remembers hearing a loud noise when he was still shitting his brains out. "Son, tell him. What did you see?"

They both look at me, expecting a plausible explanation. But I don't have an answer. What am I supposed to say? An alien wearing a candy suit stole a slushy and the car?

"I..." Looking at the floor, I try to make sense of what happened, but I can't.

"Did you get a look at the guy who took my car?" Mayor Mosely presses.

"He, uh, was tall."

The Sheriff sets his coffee on the counter, pulls out a notepad, clicks a pen, and starts writing. "How tall?" he asks.

"About six-foot two."

"Hair color? Eye color? What else?"

"His hair was long and black. Purplish eyes. He was really pale."

"What was he wearing?"

I do my best to describe his licorice candy suit.

Once he's collected as much information as I can give, the Sheriff puts the notebook away and says, "Don't worry, Mr. Mayor. The guy couldn't have gotten far. As for you, Drake, I'd run home while you still can."

Outside, the cops are shining their flashlights towards the spacecraft.

"Pretty soon, this place will be crawling with--"

The Sheriff is cut off by the sound of helicopters. Just a second later, a tank drives by. Now, a van pulls up to the door.

A woman wearing a black pant suit and heels exits the vehicle and enters the store. She doesn't look much older than me. Her blonde hair is tied into a tight ponytail, and she is holding a badge out in front of her. "Agent Simmons, FBI. I apologize for the inconvenience, but this gas station is under lockdown until further notice."

Sheriff Seward sighs heavily and removes his hat. "Shit," he says, dropping it onto the counter by his coffee.

The FBI agent examines each one of us. "I'm going to have to ask you three to stay right where you are. I have some questions for you."

"So, this is real," I say out loud. "That's actually a UFO outside."

Her icy blue eyes dart towards me, and her thin lips curve into a small smile. "That's for us to know and for you never to find out. For your own safety, I suggest that you let me ask the questions."

I thought that the alien was going to kill me; now, I know I'm really fucked.

Music Credit: "People Are Strange" by The Doors