Chapter Forty-Four

[Selena's POV]

I bring my mug up to my lips and take a small sip of the hot chocolate that I had made for myself. I set the mug back down in my lap with my cold hands wrapped around it in an attempt to keep them warm. Leaning my head back up against the window, I watch as the snow continues to fall.

It's been snowing the last couple days and there's a good two or three inches of snow that covers the ground the temperature has dropped several degrees, so I've been forced to sleep with blankets wrapped around my body during the night to keep warm.

I get brought out of my trace at watching the snow fall when I see a figure come up behind me through the reflection of the window. I turn my head around and smile faintly when I see Pattie walking over to me. She has her purse over her arm with her car keys in her hand and her winter coat on.

"Jeremy and I are going to run up to the store for a moment," Pattie says. "Do you need anything?"

"No, thank you though." I say with a shake of my head.

"Are you sure? I could buy you some clothes. I'm sure you don't want to keep wearing my son's clothes." Pattie tries to change my mind.

I smile, my eyes traveling down to the clothes of Justin's that I'm wearing right now. I have one of his over sized sweatshirts on and a pair of his boxers on. The sweatshirt is so big on me that it's basically a dress on me, and I really don't even feel like putting pants on.

Out of habit and bring the collar of Justin's sweatshirt up to my nose and inhale his scent.

"I'm sure." I reply. "He smells good."

Pattie smiles. "Alright. But you give me a call if you think of anything you need, okay? We'll be back soon."

"Be safe." I say, knowing that the roads are going to be bad to drive on.

"We will." she replies.

I nod and she walks out the front door. I watch as she heads out to Jeremy's car and climbs into the passenger seat. Jeremy pulls out of the driveway and speeds off down the road.

I start to take another drink of my hot chocolate, but the sound of someone clearing their throat behind me startles me and makes me snap my head back around. I relax when I see Louis standing in the doorway of the living room.

"Hi," I say.

"Hey," he replies. "Mind if I sit with you?"

I shake my head and bring my knees up to my face which leaves an empty space for Louis to sit down. He makes his way over and sits down, his gazing turning out the window.

"Want some hot chocolate?" I ask.

"Sure." he shrugs. I hold out my mug and he carefully takes it out of my hand. He brings the brim of the mug to his lips and takes a small sip. "Mm, did you make this?" I nod my head. "It's really good."

"Thanks," I say, twirling my thumbs in my lap. "Hey, are you alright?"

Louis furrows his eyebrows together in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know. The past couple of days you've just seem out of it, I guess. You usually are more talkative around me, but you've barely said anything to me." I explain.

"Well, I'm fine. I just haven't been in the mood to be around people, especially your asshole of a boyfriend." he snaps.

I get that Louis and Justin hate each other and will most likely never get along. But it still makes me angry when Louis starts talking shit about Justin. And I get annoyed when the two of them are constantly going at each other's throats. The last thing I need is for Justin to do or say something that might set Louis off and end up getting himself hurt. 

"Well, you're an asshole too." I snap back.

Feeling annoyed, I get up and walk out of the room. I climb up the stairs and start to head to the spare bedroom where Alfredo is, but side against. He's been nonstop working on trying to figure out a plan for us to put an end to everything. And by that, I mean putting a bullet through Liam's heart.

To be honest, I would feel bad about killing Liam. But after he's killed both Nick and my mother, has hurt not only Justin but me as well, and has caused so much shit in my life...he deserves to die.

Wow, I just sounded like Justin.

Quietly, I head into Justin's bedroom and see him laying down on the bed. He's been locked in his room for most of the day, and yesterday. Ever since Louis and him got into the argument a few days ago in the kitchen and I told them to stop, it's like Justin's been avoiding everyone. I know he's avoiding Louis, but he has barely acknowledged me or his parents. I don't know what's wrong with him.

With his back turned towards me, I can't tell if he's asleep or not. I walk around to the other side of the bed and see that his eyes are closed. Thinking I better not wake him up, I sigh and head for the door.

"I'm awake." Justin's voice suddenly fills the room.

I turn around and watch as Justin turns to where he's laying flat on his back. Strands of his messy hair hang down in front of his eyes, and I slightly admire how he still looks perfect. I walk over and climb onto the empty side of the bed next to him.

Justin doesn't say anything nor makes any eye contact with me as complete silence falls over us. It's an awkward silence. To me it is, anyways.

"Louis has been acting strange the past two days," I say, to start up a conversation. "He kinda acts like he's up to something, but I don't know what."

"Wouldn't surprise me if he was." Justin says.

Then it goes silent between us again.

I silently groan in annoyance. I bite my lip to hide my growing smirk when an idea comes to mind. Carefully, I swing my leg over Justin's waist and climb on top of him. Both my legs are on either side of his waist to where I'm straddling him. Justin looks up at me with a raised eyebrow. He goes to say something, but I put my index finger on his lips to silence him.

"Shh," I softly say. "Kiss me."

I bring my lips down and press them against his. He stays still for a moment before I feel his hand cup my cheek and he slowly parts his lips. My hearts beats a little faster as our lips move against each others and Justin's hands grip my hips. Hesitantly, I move my hips down against him which results in him groaning softly into my mouth.

His grip tightens on my hips and in a blink of an eye Justin has me on my back with his body hovering over me. His lower body is between my legs and he returns the gesture by grinding his lips down against mine which makes me let out a soft moan. My fingers run through the back of his hair and pushes his head down for our lips to collide together.

"Can I ask you a question?" Justin asks against my lips.

For some reason, I feel my heart beat faster. Not because of how close our bodies are, but because of the bad feeling I sudden got in the pit of my stomach. Whenever Justin wants to ask me something it always scares me because I never know what he's going to say or if it's a good or bad thing.

"Of course," I reply, pecking his lips.

"If Alfredo does come up with a plan on a way for us to kill Liam," Justin says and moves himself off of me and lays down my side. "What if something goes wrong? Like, instead of Liam being the one who gets killed, it's one of us."

I turn to where I'm laying on my side and look at Justin. "What makes you think something will go wrong?" I ask.

"You just proved that I wasn't the only one who's been thinking that Louis has been acting weird and is probably up to something. What if he's secretly helping Liam plan something? That's why I haven't trusted him at all the whole time he's been here." He turns his head towards me. "I'm not going to let Liam or Louis hurt you. Not again."

"And I won't get hurt. It's four against two. We'll be the ones to put a bullet through Liam's chest before he has the chance to hurt you, me or anyone else." I reassure him.

"It'll be three against three if Louis is up to something." he points out. "Just promise me, you won't do anything with him  if he asks for your help or tells you do something? I don't want to take any chances in you getting hurt."

"I promise." I lean over and kiss his lips softly. He starts to kiss back, but then he pulls away and looks away from me. I furrow my eyebrows together and rub his arm. "What's wrong? You've been really distant lately and this is the most you've talked to me. Is it because of my bruises? They're healed now, so you don't have to worry about hurting-"

"It's not that, Selena." Justin cuts me off. "I've just been thinking a lot lately and got a lot on my mind."

I gulp. "Thinking about what?"

"Us." he answers softly.

My stomach starts doing flips and my pulse quickens.

"What about us?" I ask.

"What are you going to do if one day the police finally catch me? They'll take me to jail and you'll never see me again. There's no one I'll be able to escape like last time because they'll have every guard at my cell watching me." Justin says.

I bite my lip. I don't even want to think about Justin being taking away from me. I never want that to happen. Especially if we don't kill Liam when we get the chance, he'll be after me. And he'll most likely kill me.

"I'll wait for you." I say.

Justin looks at me. "Selena, you can't do that. I'll never see daylight again once I step foot into that place. You and I both know they'll give me life in prison and maybe even the death-"

I crash my lips against his before he's able to finish his sentence. I know he's right, but I don't want to hear it. I don't want to think of never seeing him again because I can't picture my life without him.

"No matter what happens, I'll always love you. I don't care if we have to run away from the police for the rest of our lives. I'm not leaving you, and as long as I get to be with you forever, nothing else matters." I say, resting m forehead against his.

"Do you remember the first few nights you stayed at my house? We were in my room and I promised you I'd give you anything you want, as long as I don't lose you?" I nod my head. "Well, I can't give you the things I promised. I can't give you a marriage or a family or-"

I furrow my eyebrows together. "What do you mean you can't give me those things?"

"I just can't, Selena!" Justin suddenly snaps. "Yes, I want to marry you one day. Don't get me wrong about that. But after we get married you'll want to start a family. And I don't want one."

"W-what?" I feel like my heart just dropped into my stomach.

"I wont be able to keep you and a family safe from danger. I'm barely able to keep you alive right now as it is, so how the hell do you think I'd be able to protect our kids? And the last thing I need is for one of our kids to one day see their own dad on the TV screen and ask why I'm either handcuffed or why the police are looking for me. I just, I can't do it. I'm sorry." he says.

I feel my eyes begin to water. It's not like I expected for him to get down on one knee here in a few months and propose to me or for us to start a family right away after we would get married. But now he's saying that he doesn't even want a family? I've always waned kids...

"Then what the hell are we doing?! Just messing around? Am I just risking my life for nothing in the end because that's the vibe I'm getting from you." I snap.

"Selena, it's not that I don't want to be with you because I do. I just had to tell you now that I didn't want a family rather then later. It's been eating me alive these last couple of days." Justin explains.

Feeling tears threatening to fall, I quickly climb off the bed and head for the door. I try making it out the room before Justin can stop me, but he's always faster then me. I feel his hand grip my wrist and stop me.

"Don't!" I shout, slapping his hand away. "I thought maybe we could have a future together. But once again, you've proven to me again that I was stupid enough to think something as crazy as to us getting married or having a family and that somebody like you would actually be the one to give me those things."

"Selena," Justin tries to say something, but he can't find the right words to say.

"You know," I shake my head as tears slip down my face. "I regret believing everything that you've told me because every single word has been nothing but dark lies."

With that, I turn on my heels and run out of the bedroom.

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~ Author's Notes ~

Guys, there's only six chapters left now until this story comes to an end omg! :'(

What do you guys think about Justin telling Selena he doesn't want a family? And did things just end between Justin and Selena?

(P.S. - please make sure you vote for the chapter and leave you comments/thoughts/opinions for me! i love you guys xo)