Song: Break My Baby- Kaleo

I often hear your footfalls on the other side of my door. The first few nights, I was aware that it would make it impossible for me to try to escape- but that is not my goal anymore.

You are seductive. You have managed to hook me onto you. I don't think I know myself anymore without associating with you.

I know you like to hear me breathe, so for as long as I can stay awake, I breathe deeply- as an invitation for you to join me and warm my bed, to stay right beside me and curl into me. And it seems like we had a connection- that I didn't want to acknowledge- but you are right, as repulsive as the thought is.

Many a time, I have wondered how victims could sympathize with their captors. You know, the Stolkhome syndrome? Before I thought to myself, what a joke! But currently, I am rethinking. .I am going against everything I ever thought.

I inhale deeply turn to face my door gripping the blanket so that it doesn't slip off my shoulder and expose me to the cold. I can see your shadow move under the door. Like a hungry lion in a cage, you pace back and forth.

You've never laid a hand on me but I know how badly you want to.

Eyes are the windows to the soul.

I was afraid to look into your eyes before, but I have overcome it. I can read your eyes like they were talking in a language of their own, like they were screaming with an intensity that sometimes, sent a warm shiver down my spine and sometimes, I felt as if I were burning on a pyre. Despite your attempts to stop yourself from laying bare your true self, I can see them, clear as day.

I see your shadow sink down and I know you are sitting on the cold floor, leaning against my door, feeling helpless.

My feet have a mind of their own. It is something I'd like to think because they carry me toward the door. The frigid air hits my bare arms and I tremble violently as my feet make contact with the floor.

I find myself touching the cool surface with my finger-tips, feeling it- as if I were feeling you. I wonder if I can hear your breathing on the other side so I place my ear on the surface, my feet and stomach tingling as I hear your soft and subtle breathing.

It melts me.

I want to paint you sleeping. When I can't sleep at night, I dream of painting your smooth skin with my colours. I would paint you purple and black. Thinking of it once again, makes it hard for me to breathe. Breathtaking as you are, it will only add to your beauty.

And then I would add dots of white, wherever there is purple.

Why? you might ask.

Because you are void. You are space. Dark, and yet full of light and colours. Vacuum but the keeper of life- My life.

"You're awake," I hear your raspy voice. It scares me that I feel my heart stop momentarily- in a way when one hears something enchanting, a melody of nature, birds chirping, leaves dancing in the wind.

"I am," I see no point in lying. You have always been too observant and often let it get the better of you. It is rubbing off me, I guess because I can tell by your tone, that you're tired of playing your own game.

A sadistic smile reached my lips.

I have given up on the thought of escaping you.

Pull me. Drain me. Destroy me. Kiss me. Make love to me. Hurt me.

I want to do to you what you did to me.

"You should sleep," you say.

"I can't.'

I want to break you. I want to make you. I want you to associate yourself with me, wholly, as I do. I want to immortalize our insane love. I want to connect our lips and consume your thoughts, your very existence. I don't want to let you breathe as we move our lips in sync, our limbs taking a life of their own as they wander, explore, untouched parts, sacred parts of us.

"Why not?"

Because I can't stop thinking of you.

"Because I've lost my mind."