Chapter 3

I woke to banging on my front door. 

Apparently, Princess Celestia wanted me at the castle of friendship ASAP. She sent her guards to come collect anything I might need such as personal items and myself. 

I hid in my bathroom as they went through the house, it was like they tried to piece together how bad my 'condition' is. 

Nightmares aren't physical things right? If so, then I'm already going to be stuck in that castle the rest of my life. 

And unlike most ponies who would give up their entire lives to spend at least a hour in the castle, I don't want to go anywhere near that thing. Don't get me wrong, meeting the element bearers face to face would be pretty cool. But no way do I want to live with them!

Too much social anxiety comes with that!

What if I say or do something wrong? What if they don't like how I look? What if they don't like me in general?! What if they can't 'fix me' like Dr. Clara said they could?! What then!?

Regardless of my doubts, the guards enter and leave, taking a suitcase filled with things only Celestia knows are inside. 

I'm assuming that their coming for me next, they have to be. Unless I get some way out of this? Please let there be a way out! I'm now praying to Celestia that I can find a way out of this. But I guess she's the one who set it up in the first place, so there's no changing it. 

Why world?

Why me? 

Why now?

I'm still debating for and against fleeing when the guards come back, and use their magic to put me in suspended animation, with no access to escape. 

So I'm stuck in a blue bubble for the next twenty minutes. And honestly, that wasn't the worst thing they could've done, so I try not to mind it. But this entire thing was not only making me uneasy, I have so much anxiety that I'm starting to lose my breath! 

If I die from simply the walk over, I think it'll be embarrassing for not only me, but anyone who knows me. 

So not dying is the number one priority.

I try to calm myself down, thinking of my room. Even if it's annoyingly bright outside, my room is always dark, cool, and peaceful. Like ice cream on a hot summer's day, or like hiding under the covers during wintertime to stay warm. 

We always used to do that... 

This isn't the time to this isn't the time to think about things like that! What if I start crying?! Now that's embarrassing!

So I bite my lip, but harder than usual. I don't know whether it was the pressure I was about to be put under, or the fact that I was about to face everything I try to avoid in life all at once, but something was making me slightly nauseous. 

The nausea grew, up until the point where I could feel the bile in the back of my throat stir, making me really want to puke. At the same time, I don't have anything in my stomach anyway. So the only thing I could possibly throw up is the air. 

Great. 

It wasn't like the guards were making any effort to quicken their pace, and it seemed more like a leisurely stroll through Ponyvillie than what this actually is, but I don't mind. They can take as long as they want, it's not like I mind. 

I can see ponies staring at us and whispering, but I have no time to worry about that. For once, my focus has shifted to else where. 

I imagine night stars, how they twinkle and shine. The way I feel when I lift myself into the air with magic, basically turning me into a pegasus without wings. How soft the clouds are when I use a spell so I can stand on them. 

But I guess I don't acknowledge those things anymore do I? 

How could I if I spend most of my time in my house anyways?

A sigh escapes my lips. All the noises from around me hush into silence as I focus on my thoughts and my thoughts alone. 

I'll screw up! I know I will! How else could this play out?! I'm just walking right into public humiliation!

What's wrong with me?!

The next few minutes are no different then me walking to the building that holds Dr. Clara's office. Ponies stare and whisper, but none are brave enough to approach me. Well, I guess there's an excuse this time, since I'm being escorted by two of the royal guards. 

But still, I wish somepony would save me. 

It doesn't matter who it is, just as long as I get the heck out of dodge.

An eternity later, we're in front of the castle, and they stop short. 

Dropping me on the ground, I free fall for seconds before landing painfully hard. Rubbing my face, I stand up and stare at the guards with my coldest glare. 

What in Celestia's name was that for?!

But as if it was a justified response, they throw my suitcase beside me, leaving faster than they came. 

Ugh, I can't wait to never see them again!

It takes me a minute to get myself together, followed by slapping myself multiple times, and almost crying, but it blurs together as I walk up to the door. I raise my hoof to knock on the door, but hesitate. 

Doubts start to fill my mind, piling atop each other as a new one squeezes itself through the cracks. 

I'm an idiot. 

An absolute imbecile. 

My hoof presses against the door, but I still can't bring myself to knock. 

Am I really about to do this?

Whether I could really answer that question or not, my hoof lightly taps against the door. 

Silence. 

I didn't know if I should stay and wait, or leave and go home. But the door soon swiftly opens, revealing a small purple dragon who's opened the door. 

His/Her jaw drops, probably at my appearance. I don't care, I'm used to that by now. 

"Well, who is it Spike?" A voice from inside asks.

The dragon - supposedly named Spike - seems flabbergasted. He shakes his head, blinking in shock multiple times before replying. 

"Twilight," he states carefully. "you might want to come see for yourself."

A laugh comes back. 

"C'mon Spike, how important is it that I have to come and see for mysel-" 

The mare stops herself as she appears in the doorway too, but with a look that read more confused than completely dumbstruck. And after a second, something seems to hit her, and she too is flabbergasted. 

Seconds fade into minutes, and while they may be shocked, my social anxiety is going through the roof! I can feel it heaving in my chest, begging, pleading for some sort of mercy. 

And yet, the Princess Of Friendship is not making it so easy. 

I try to hide beneath my bangs, hoping that I too can fade out of existence, just like fragments of time. 

And yet, I'm still here. Still having a heart attack inside, still wishing this didn't have to happen, still hoping that this will end faster than it started. 

I hear a whooshing sound from inside, and the soft sound of a pegasus landing drifts into my ears. 

"Hey Twi, you better hurry back! Applejack is planning out her strategy, and if we want any edge over her, we need to figure out her plan."

The voice was... familiar. I've heard it before, but I can't tell from when. My heart begins to ache, so much that it hurts with an incredible amount of pain. I have to bring my hoof to my chest like I was bleeding, clutching in a way that made it seem like I was dying. 

My breaths were so much sharper, and the pain grew worse and worse still by the seconds passing away. 

No...

It couldn't be...!

An invisible knife began to stab at my chest. And at the same time, it was like all the needles that could fit were poking, jabbing my heart. They messed with the features of the muscle, dragging themselves to scrape all over, causing me excruciating pain. 

All I could feel was pain. 

All I could see was her. 

But this time, it wasn't a dream or an illusion. 

It was real. 

I begin to become unbalanced, as my other hoof holds my head. 

This can't be happening! It just can't! 

She's not here! This isn't real!

She can't be here right now! It's just my head messing with me!

There's no possible way that she's here right now! 

I have to be dreaming again!

The world around me starts to spin, the pain searing across my flesh, coursing through my veins. It hurt all over, every step meant more pain to follow. 

Revived memories float back to the surface. 

It's all coming out. 

And I'm not ready for it!

Everything seemed to slow down, like the moment was captured in time forever more. It was all too much! Everything about this was too much for me to handle!

And suddenly, I find myself on the ground. Spasming and flaring around, I can't seem to gain control over this situation. My body doesn't want to get a hold of itself, my mind now fried, too fried to think or do anything. 

I see the two mares rushing around, the Princess running up to me with a worried and scared expression.

"You're going to be okay!" She said, but it was more to herself than me. 

That's just it; I wasn't. I wasn't going to be okay. 

How could I be okay if she's here?

How could anything be okay if Rainbow Dash is anywhere near me?!

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