Alara's POV

She'd never thought about how light and delicate Quinn was until she had to carry her in her arms after she'd passed out. Her cheeks were still wet from tears and her pale face looked flushed. Almost by instinct, Alara reached out her hand to wipe away the wetness on Quinn's cheeks, until she came to her senses. What am I even doing? God, I can only imagine how Andy is going to feel about all of this, she thought to herself.

Alara stopped dead in her tracks. A body in the alley. Ashley's body. She lowered Quinn gently to the ground, waving her hand once to give her protection, a forcefield now surrounding her. Once she was sure that the forcefield was strong, she sprinted to Ashley. His pulse was nonexistent and he was no longer breathing. A crashing feeling hit her chest. This must've been a contributing factor to Quinn's behavior.

Ashley's dead.

He doesn't exist anymore.

Just a mere sack of skin and bones.

Alara couldn't stand to think of the body being left in the open, exposed and vulnerable. But there was no way she could bury him, or carry him and Quinn simultaneously. She cast a camouflage spell over the body. Hopefully, no one would find him until they could come back and collect the body.

She already knew who killed him.

Quinn's POV

Morning sunlight pours through the curtains and pools onto the bedroom floor. My eyelids slowly open. Everything feels muffled, as if my head is stuck underwater. All the memories from last night come flooding back and the pounding feeling in my chest reappears. My breath catches in my chest and I choke back tears. I'm too tired or sick to cry anymore.

Where am I? My hand curls lazily around the soft covers. The pillows are extremely comfortable and the bed is gigantic, at least a queen-size, probably a king-size even. I've never been in a room this nice my whole life. Suddenly, I hear footsteps coming down the hall and quickly turn around and close my eyes to make it look as if I'm asleep. I can tell that there are two people standing at the foot of my door, maybe more. They speak in hushed voices and I struggle to listen to anything they're saying.

"How is she? Have you been checking in on her enough?" they say, softly.

"Of course I have," the other responds. "She still needs to recover from God knows what she went through last night. She has a fever and is definitely dehydrated. She'll need time to recover, but you also need to get some rest, Andy."

Andy. It gives me a strange feeling for him to be around after what I did and our argument, and everything. But he's still worried about me. This must be Andy's house I guess.

"I couldn't sleep at all, Jinxx... I probably won't for a while, not after--"

"Ashley would want you to--"

It sounds like someone lashes out and grabs the other's wrist. "Don't talk about Ashley in front of me," Andy says in a low growl. All that can be heard is a stunned, tense silence.

"I'm sorry," he mutters and walks away.

I lie there in silence for a solid 5 minutes before I sit up again, just to be absolutely certain that both the boys left. I'm still kind of shocked about Andy's outburst, although I understand he must be extremely sensitive over Ashley. I am too, but no one was as close to Ashley as he was.

I run a hand through my unwashed hair. I get up out of the luxurious bed and into the bathroom. I hardly recognize the girl standing in front of me in the mirror. Two dark crescent moons are shadowed underneath my eyes, my hair seems a million times duller, and my eyes are still slightly puffy and bloodshot from crying. My sickly pale complexion makes me look as if I am on the verge of death. It all makes me want to just curl up in a hole and never come out.

When I turn around to check the time on the clock by the bedside table, I'm surprised to see that it only reads 7:52 am. I crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head. I need more time to rest, even if I probably won't sleep much.

***

I didn't expect to see someone on the bed when I woke up. I startle and quickly sit up. It's Andy. Sitting on the edge of my bed. He was staring out the window before I woke up. It seemed like he's been doing that for a while, lost in thought.

"Oh, God," he runs a hand through his midnight hair. "Quinn, I-- I was so worried, I just... sorry, I'll go." He starts to leave, but I quickly reach across the bed and grab his arm. "Andy, wait... please."

His blue eyes stare at my hand gripping his forearm and then his gaze shifts to mine. He slowly lowers himself back onto the bed. I have so much to tell him, so much to apologize about. I struggle to collect my thoughts and find the right words to say. I don't want to screw anything else up.

Hair hangs in my eyes and I push it away. "I want to start by saying, I'm honestly really really really sorry. I made countless mistakes last night, and I really hope you can forgive me for it. I got drunk and I was upset and confused and... Of course, that doesn't give me an excuse does it?" I pause, smiling sadly. "If you weren't ready for anything I wanted to do, then it was wrong of me to get upset because you didn't want exactly what I did. If we're in a relationship, or at least a healthy one, we need to respect each other's needs and come to agreements. And not get so frustrated when our wants and needs don't match up."

I search his face for any emotion or reaction. To my surprise, he pulls me towards him in an embrace. I wasn't expecting him to hug me or forgive me so fast. I hold onto his sturdy yet skinny figure tightly. He runs a hand through my hair. It feels almost therapeutic and just for a moment, I nearly forget all the craziness over the past few days.

"It's okay," he whispers, repeating the motion through my hair. I breathe in a few times. I can hardly tell what he smells like. It just smells like Andy. If I had to describe it, it would be a mix of soap, fresh rain, a hint of cigarettes, and millions more I could never think of. "Everyone makes mistakes, okay? Please don't beat yourself up over it. It's alright. It's all okay." The sound of his voice and the feel of his body against mine is one of the most comforting feelings in the world.

"You're right," I murmur. I let go of him and lie back down on the bed. He gently lays down beside me, our hands touching. "Are you okay?" I ask, turning to look at him. He takes a second to exhale softly. "I will be. Maybe. Eventually."

I can tell he's still sensitive about Ashley. Of course, he had the right to be. His best friend was only murdered yesterday. And even worse, by Gerard, his malicious rival.

Oh, shit. I don't think Andy even knows it was him. I'm not sure whether to break it to him sooner or later.

I just squeeze his hand reassuringly. "Hang in there, Andy," I say, stroking his hand with one of my fingers. "Just breathe."

All is quiet for a couple minutes. "Alara found the body and brought it back," he tells me. I can see him cringe a little bit at saying it instead of he. "The funeral's on Friday." His voice breaks from holding back tears. I squeeze his hand tighter. We lie there, fingers intertwined, looking at the ceiling and just breathing for a long time.

Song: if i could i would feel nothing - blackbear

A/N OMG HIII i missed you guys sm
:(( welp here's a chapter for the first time in 3 MONTHS. I'm rlly rlly rlly hoping to have a more consistent updating schedule. I guess i should kindaaa explain why i had to take a brief hiatus. November and December were some of the worst months mentally for me and i couldn't ever find the motivation to actually write. I'm feeling a little better now, things are getting sorted out a little more. I haven't said thanks for the reads since i had 800 wtfff now i have 10k THANK YOU ILY ALL SM I GENUINELY HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.

Date published: January 17, 2018