Chapter 8: Bleeding Past
Gabriel returned to his home after dropping Sabrina off. From the porch he could tell that all the lights in the manor were shut off. He was sure that everyone had gone to bed since it was hitting close to midnight.
Gabriel soundlessly closed the door behind him and went straight to his bedroom. He fixed himself a drink and sat on the high-back sofa. The bronze whiskey swirled in the crystal glass, similar to his own thoughts that were running in his head all day. This was the first time in Gabriel's entire life, he was unsure of his next move.
After dropping off Sabrina, Gabriel evaluated his entire life, his career and the duties that lead to where he was now. However, all he saw was a man who butchered through this world to sit on the golden throne. Gabriel never thought that a time like this would come in his life, where all he could think about was his mate. But it had, and it was Sabrina Sinclair that had imprinted on him, even though she probably didn't realize how deep she bonded with him.
Gabriel tipped the rest of the drink back, the smoky smooth flavour poured down his parched throat and cooled his burning gut. Although, his favourite whiskey didn't even come close to the sensation Sabrina had on him. The fiery scent of pine and soft touch of lilies was ambrosia for Gabriel and his wolf. Her faint touches on his arm drove him insane. Whenever she pushed her luscious hair over her shoulder made his heart skip a beat, and her killer smile was magic all on its own. Sabrina intoxicated him and he lost all control and composure around her. It was like he was a teenager with hormone issues and couldn't get himself under a hard lock. But the dangerous cravings he had for Sabrina were nothing of a high-schooler.
She embodied a strong woman who fought for her dreams and made a successful life for herself. Pure, innocent and goodness emitted from every fibre of her beautiful body.
Gabriel's mind darkened when he remembered that he wasn't built that way. Unlike Sabrina, he's lived a dangerous life and is committed to keep living it for the rest of his life.
A knock on the door interrupted Gabriel's thoughts. "Come in," he said from his seat. The door creaked open and his sister sauntered inside. "Shouldn't you be asleep?" he asked out of concern and a little out of habit.
Viola rolled her eyes at his stern tone. "My fever is down," she told him not to worry. "Did you drop off, Sabrina?" she asked before she sat down on the seat across him.
"Yeah," he told her.
"Good," she smiled. "She seems to fit right in with us, don't you think?"
Gabriel nodded. "She does."
"And I can see why she's such a renowned supermodel," Viola stated. "She's truly a powerful woman and wolf."
Gabriel tiled his head. "Stop beating around the bush, Viola," he remarked. "Get to the point."
"Sabrina is your mate, isn't she?" asked Viola bluntly.
Gabriel stiffened in his seat. He knew that bringing Sabrina tonight for dinner raised questions in his siblings, pack and basically everyone in between. "Yes," he declared and it was the first time he had said it out loud. "Sabrina is my mate."
Instead of a smile, Viola frowned. "If you already know that she is your mate, then why are you tense?" she asked.
Gabriel smirked because he knew that Viola could always see what anyone was trying to hide. "I'm not tense, Viola," he told her. "I just don't want to mess this up."
Viola's brow shot up. "I never thought I'd see the day where my big brother is nervous-"
"I'm not nervous-"
Viola chuckled. "There isn't any need to be either, Gabriel," she reassured. The lights were off in his room, but the glint of the moon showered over his sister's lovely face. "Does Sabrina know about the bond?"
"Yeah. I made sure that she knew," said Gabriel.
"Then half of your job is done," remarked Viola. "All you have to do is show her a good time, take her out to a nice restaurant, and then be on your merry way down the aisle."
Gabriel looked at her sister, like she had two heads. "It's not that simple, Viola," he said.
Viola crossed her legs at the knee. "You want to tell me the real reason you're so reluctant to pursue, Sabrina?"
Gabriel clenched his jaw in a hard lock. "Because I'm lying to her about who...what I am," he said grimly.
Viola frowned. "You're not a liar, brother."
Gabriel laughed coldly. "Take her out to dates, show her a good time," he mocked. "But behind that facade, I run an empire with hands covered in the blood of my enemies. Now, you tell me, how will Sabrina react when I bring her to the 'dark side' of my life."
"Women are not afraid of darkness, brother," said Viola.
"I still don't want to drag her into this," Gabriel sighed.
Viola scoffed. "This a mating bond we're talking about, Gabriel," she said. "You're not going to be able to let Sabrina go just to keep her safe."
"Then what am I supposed to do?" snapped Gabriel.
"Tell her the truth," retorted Viola. "Let Sabrina decide for herself."
"And if she denies our bond after hearing the truth, what then?" asked Gabriel.
"Then you'll have what you want," said Viola.
Gabriel ran his hand through his hair out of frustration. "I don't want that..." his words fell.
"I know you don't," said Viola. "Look Gabriel, you deserve a mate by your side and all of us want you to be happy."
"Thanks," said Gabriel. "But I don't know if telling Sabrina, the truth about me will make this any easier."
Viola lifted her chin and looked outside the balcony window, that had the entire pack spread over the rolling field for Gabriel to always keep watch over. "It upsets me that you think like this about yourself," she said softly. "This whole pack sees you as their world, yet you-" she froze. His sister released a heavy sigh. Viola's emerald gaze glimmered under the light of the moon- "I hope that whatever step you take next, you do it out of courage and not fear."
Gabriel smirked smugly. "Do you ever see me do anything out of fear?"
Viola matched his smirk. "One of the things I love about you, brother," she added.
"I love you too," said Gabriel firmly, and he always has, since Viola was a little girl that barely reached his hip. He raised this young woman, and it was in a blink of an eye, that she had grown to become so remarkable and smart.
Viola got off the chair and made her way to leave the room. She opened the door but just as she passed the threshold, she turned his way again; "Gabriel-" their lethal eyes met, but their sharp gazes were always warm for each other- "find someone that speaks to your fears and terrors, like they're nothing to be afraid of. A woman worthy of you can handle any part of you," she said. A moment of simmering silence passed between them. Viola's parting words resonated inside Gabriel. "Goodnight, brother."
"Goodnight," said Gabriel before his sister left him to his own accord. Gabriel's eyes drifted to the clock and it was quarter past twelve. His body reacted on its own. He grabbed his jacket and walked out of the house with his car keys clenched in his fist.
Gabriel sped down the freeway and ended up at Sabrina's doorstep of her cozy house. The lights were all off, but he challenged his luck anyways. Pressing the doorbell more than twice, there was no answer for quite some time. He guessed she was asleep by now. But then the porch light turned on and the door swung open. Standing in a long black nightgown, Sabrina opened the door to find Gabriel. His hands placed on the sides of the door, he lifted his head and straightened to his towering height.
"I would have called but I don't have your number," he couldn't believe he had just said that, but it was the truth and he didn't care.
Although, it would've taken Hunter, River or Azura less than two minutes to find Sabrina's number. But Gabriel really didn't want to invade her privacy like that, because Sabrina wasn't just anyone to him.
Sabrina frowned. "Is everything okay?" she closed the lapels of her robe and crossed her arms.
Gabriel gazed into her aqua-green eyes, that were almost the shade of emeralds under the dark light of the night. "Nothing to be worried over," he reassured her. "But I need to talk to you."
Sabrina searched his eyes for the answers of his abrupt visit this late at night. "Okay," she said. She moved to the side and gave him space to enter her home, her space, which was always very precious to any wolf.
Gabriel sauntered inside to the cozy home. There was a massive crystal chandelier but it was turned off. The only light that was illuminating the space was the fireplace and the white candles scattered around the living room, which was sweetly romantic without any effort. The entire house had her sweet and warm scent filling up the space like Spring blossoms.
"Would you like anything to drink?" asked Sabrina politely.
Gabriel shook his head. "No. Thank you," he said. Sabrina lead him to the white plush couch in front of the roaring fire. "I'm sorry for coming so late."
Sabrina curled her legs under her before she sat next to him. "It's fine. Besides, you never do anything without cause, right?" she said. "So, what's this about?"
Gabriel never did anything without cause. He couldn't believe that she figured him out so easily and so fast. "I need to tell you what this bond means to me," he said sternly. He didn't need to use their mating bond to know that she had gotten nervous, it was written all over her face.
Sabrina looked down at her palms. "I'm listening," she said. "You don't need to hold back with me."
Gabriel eyes focused on the flickering fire. "When my mom died, my family crumbled," he began. "My father became an alcoholic and all of us were left alone-" Gabriel's hands turned cold like icicles and his gut churned, but he didn't stop himself from telling her everything- "The pack started to dissolve and my father had given up his duties as alpha. I could see that he wasn't fit to lead anymore, but I was too young to challenge him for the seat, so I waited. I silently waited for the right chance to take the Centauri seat from my father."
Sabrina's eyes shifted from green to blue under the flickering light of the fire. "You had to," she said softly.
Gabriel rested his elbows on his knees. "But it pained me to take what he loved from him after he just lost his mate," he said.
"So, what convinced you?" she asked.
He faced her with a glower. "My father began to use his grief as the reason to hurt his kids."
Sabrina frowned and she knew exactly what Gabriel was hinting towards. "He abused you."
"Not me," said Gabriel. "It was Klaus that became the target of my father's abuse."
Sabrina shook her head and let out a breath she was holding for a while. "That's terrible," she whispered.
"My father got so close to killing Klaus when I wasn't home," he told her. "And when I found out, I-" Gabriel's blood boiled in his body and every muscle in his body turned as hard as steel- "I almost killed that man. If River hadn't stopped me in time, I would have killed him without hesitation." Gabriel searched deep into Sabrina's eyes to know if she understood that every word he said, he meant.
Sabrina frown creased her brows. "I probably would have too if that happened in front of me," she said. "How could anyone hurt Klaus."
"That's who I am, Sabrina. I will cross any line to defeat anyone that fucks with my family," said Gabriel.
Sabrina nodded. "I understand that, Gabriel."
"After that day, I didn't even bother challenging my father. I took the seat as alpha and have been doing my duty since," he said.
"Is that what you were so nervous to tell me?" she asked.
Gabriel jaw tightened. "No," he said. "It's what I'm about to tell you now."
Sabrina's eyes gazed into his. "Do you want a glass of wine before we continue?" she asked with a small but encouraging smile.
Gabriel melted from her sweetness. "Sure," he said. He got up and quietly followed her to the kitchen. He found a sense of comfort from the way she moved when she was comfortable.
Sabrina opened a high cupboard and pulled out a Merlot wine bottle, which there were quite a lot of wine bottles for a single person. Gabriel had disregarded his denim jacket on the sofa earlier. He helped her by grabbing two crystal glasses from her hand. They both returned to the living room, and he popped the bottle open and poured them half a glass of wine.
"Is that a tattoo?" Sabrina asked abruptly.
Gabriel placed the open bottle on the table before he turned to face her. "Yes," he said. He lifted his right forearm presenting a detailed sketch of an elegant wolf's head howling to the full moon. This was the final night he saw his mom's wolf form before she passed away.
"It's a female wolf," said Sabrina.
"My mother," he told her. "All my siblings never got to see my mom's wolf, so I got this tattoo to remember her by."
Sabrina smiled. "You really loved your mom."
"Yeah, I really did," he confessed.
"Your siblings were so young when they lost her. But you, you were old enough and out of everyone, you remember those days the most," she said.
Gabriel sipped the wine; it was delicious but it didn't help to brighten his mood. "I remember her last days," he said. "But I didn't have time to mourn for her."
"Because your family needed you," Sabrina affirmed.
Gabriel swirled the blood red drink in the clear glass. "I didn't even have the energy to cry at her funeral," he told her. "All I remember from that day was holding Vincent and Viola and trying to get them to understand that their mother was never coming back."
"I'm sorry," said Sabrina, her eyes a torrent of grief for him.
Gabriel drank the rest of the wine before he continued. "Even though I became the alpha of the Centauri pack, I still needed the strength to make sure that no one came looking for a fight at my doorstep," he said grimly. "I run Centauri Enterprise with the confidence because I had to dirty my hands with a lot of evil people-" Sabrina shifted in her seat and so did he- "After I secured my seat, I made sure to get rid of every man that used me when I was still weak."
"What did you do after?" she asked softly pouring them more wine.
"It took me a few years to get the connections I have now," he said. "But I didn't stop there. I destroyed anyone that wanted to take me down. I killed my enemies to secure my position as alpha... I was rogue even though I was part of a pack." Gabriel closed his eyes shut and ran his hand through his hair.
Sabrina hesitated before she said; "But you don't do that anymore?"
Gabriel nodded. "It was after I met Zero. She's the wolf who-"
"I know who Zero is," said Sabrina. "She's the alpha that eliminates threats against wolves and rogues."
"It was after one of her missions that I realized that I had been doing it all wrong," he chuckled in disbelief at himself. "Zero was a leader even I wanted to follow. I dropped my vendetta and realized that my way to becoming an alpha that my pack would be proud of, was making sure that I didn't taint my hands any more than I already had."
"I never thought there would be someone that Gabriel Centauri idolizes," jested Sabrina.
Gabriel finally lifted his lips into a smile. "I don't think there is anyone in this world that doesn't idolize Zero."
Sabrina tilted her head. "I know there are just as many that idolize you." Gabriel froze and gaped at her. "You went through a storm and walked out one hell of a man."
Gabriel's gaze dropped from her eyes towards the fire. "That's what I'm trying to tell you, Sabrina," he said. "I'm not a good man that did good things to get where I am." Gabriel couldn't look at her, because he was afraid of what her eyes would say to him. "And I will continue to do what it takes, and those things won't be respectable all the time."
"I understand that, Gabriel," said Sabrina. "You have to take measures to protect your family and business."
"Any measure," he affirmed gazing into her eyes. "And that occasionally means killing the threat and danger."
"Heavy is the head that wears the crown, right," mumbled Sabrina.
Gabriel briefly laughed. "You have no idea," he sighed. "Thirty years, I've lived with control and an iron fist, which ensured that the lives under my protection can sleep easy at night. So, when I met you, all of that control went out the window-" Sabrina's eyes stayed on him and his on her- "I've never let my needs intervene with my duties as alpha," he said. "But more than anything in my life, I wanted to see you and talk to you." Sabrina smiled showing her dimples for him to adore. "I'm not a man that can have this... but damn, do I want it."
"What's stopping you?" she asked.
Gabriel frowned. "The power that I have, comes with a price," he told her.
"What price?"
"My mate," he answered. "I had forsaken the chances of meeting my mate because I need to stay focused."
"What are you trying to tell me, Gabriel?" she asked him. "Do you not want to mate with me-"
"I do-" he interrupted her, "and that's what's killing me inside."
"But why?" she insisted.
"Because I want you to be mine," he said sternly. "But I can't put you in any risk because I can't lose you."
Sabrina stiffened, and he noticed, because he noticed everything about her. "You don't want to end up like your father, right?"
Gabriel laughed coldly and with all the bitterness he could conjure. "I won't ever become like him," he told her. "But I know for a fact that losing a mate never ends well."
Sabrina frowned. "You think I'm not afraid as well?" she asked. "I found my mate. The only one that was chosen for me by Maya, and he happens to be a man who is always facing danger head on."
"Sabrina-"
"But I trust you, Gabriel-" she said firmly.
Gabriel's heart tightened in his chest. "Why?" he asked her. "Why do you trust me?"
Her beautiful eyes softened. "Because as much as you deny it, you're a good man," she said. "And I don't care what you did in the past, because I see what you do to help everyone now."
Gabriel laid his hand on her cheek. The soft warmth melted his hand and chipped away the ice killing him. "This bond between us can't be pushed away once we act on it," he warned her. "When I mark you as mine there will be no going back."
"I know," she said calmly.
Gabriel didn't hide anymore from the truth. He was a cold-blooded killer and he never denied it from himself or anyone. But now, Sabrina knew too and she hadn't shunned him away. "Thank you for listening to me," he said.
Sabrina shot her delightful grin. "For you, anytime," she said.
Gabriel rose from his seat when he looked at the clock hand, that hit late past one o'clock. "I should let you rest."
Sabrina followed him to the main door. "Thank you for sharing your past. I know that probably wasn't easy for someone like you," she said.
Gabriel closed the space between them. "I had to tell you everything," he said softly. "You're the only person that needs to know the truth about me, even if no one else does." He turned on his feet and unlocked her door.
"Why is that?" she asked behind him.
Gabriel froze on the porch. "Because you're my mate," he stated. "And I'm going to do whatever it takes to make sure that you're safe."
Gabriel got in his car and drove away from Sabrina's house. He knew that this mating wasn't going to be easy, but when was anything in his life ever easy. Gabriel was prepared to see this mating through, because more than anything he craved the love of his soulmate, which he thought he could never have because of the life that he lived. He always thought that this was the one thing he couldn't have, but he was wrong.
Gabriel desired to run under the moon in his wolf form with his mate. His body was geared to marking Sabrina, but he held back tonight because he didn't want to scare her of his wolf. It was a surprise all on its own that Sabrina accepted and understood his past. She had told him that she wasn't afraid. But he was something to fear, because he wasn't just any ordinary wolf. Gabriel was an alpha-male that knew what he wanted and did anything to get it. And at this moment, his mind, body, soul and wolf, all desired Sabrina Sinclair to be his forever. The urge to mark her and claim her was tremendously irresistible. Gabriel wasn't surprised that it was, because it's true when people say that he's was a very possessive man and wolf.
Gabriel returned home just before one forty-five. He climbed the stairs and reached his bedroom. He stepped into his bathroom for a late-night shower, stripping out of his clothes he realized that he had forgotten his jacket at Sabrina's house. It was too late now to retrieve it, so he'd just pick it up tomorrow along with Sabrina. Gabriel took a quick and incredibly cold shower before he went to sleep with his eager body blazing like wildfire.
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