Gold's awake, I can tell by his breathing. He's got his back against me, and I lay tracing his silhouette in the dark. I want to slither close to him, to have him tell me what's wrong, but he hasn't been able to talk to me since he got home, he just put his hand to my face for a fleeting moment before it slipped from me and he went upstairs. I know something's not right. Everything feels wrong somehow, and I feel estranged in his bed, his house, even in Storybrooke, like the borders of the town is looking for me to push me out of things I will never understand.

I'm ripped from sleep by Mr. Gold, he's finally decided to craddle me in his arms like always, and he keeps mumbling "Dearie" over and over again like an incantation.
"What is it? What's wrong?" I ask carefully.
"Everything," he replies.
I try to turn to look at him, but he's locked me in his grip.
"You can tell me," I try.
"Her name," he whispers.
"What is it?" I ask, afraid what will unfold.
"Her name," he says again.
Does he know her? Miss Swan? Do they have some kind of history together? Is that the reason why he's been acting so strange?
"What about her name?" I inquire.
"Who I am," he says next.
"You speak in riddles," I say, borderline frustrated now.
"I know, I can't... I can't tell you," he almost sobs into my hair.
My frustration mixes with worrying. "Of course you can," I reply.
"No," he growls, turning me on my back and pinning me down on the bed. His look is of a beast, and the blackness in his eyes is all I see. This time it's chills of fright going through me. Nevertheless, I let him do what he wants to me, because I can never find myself not wanting him, no matter the situation.
"Promise me," he starts saying, his voice raw. "Promise me you won't probe further into things about Henry, Miss Swan, me," he goes on while spreading my legs under him. "It's dangerous territory." He rams his manhood into me. I squeal. "Promise me," he says again, thrusting hard. I gasp for air. He stops, his hands pinning me zealously. Not sure to plead for information or release, I land on the latter as the grasp of his hands intensifies. "I promise," I cry out, feeling his reward for submitting filling me.
He kisses me, and slowly let go of my hands, allowing me to ebrace his neck and tug at his hair, moaning while his stubble scrape against my face, his lips sucking at my mouth to silence the questions I have. But I will have my answers, I think, determination mingling with the rapture he's conjuring between my legs. "I will, I will," I think, and scream "Yes, yes, yes" at the top of my lungs as I come under him, hands on his ass to cram him as deep into me as possible.
He collapses on top of me, and I stroke his hair. It being a Saturday, we're in no rush to get out of bed, so we fall asleep again, but when I wake up, Mr. Gold's gone. 

---

A week goes by, Gold's acting strange, but not as strange like the first day Emma arrived. He's got me working more hours, so he can go out and "attend to matters of importance". The whole town seems to have been shaken awake by Miss Swan's arrival, and I feel left out in the cold. I know I should be a good girl, to keep my nose out of whatever it is Mr. Gold wants me to keep it out of, but when he puts it like that, he's asking for trouble. I've asked Ruby to fill me in on unusual things happening in the town. So far not much out of the ordinary has occurred, but I'm patiently waiting.

Mr. Gold tries to make it up to me everyday for keeping me at bay regarding Storybrooke's new visitor. Merely a few months ago, I was the new one. 

One night I find him downstairs, sitting in a chair looking out at the vast night.
"Gold," I say.
He turns, shirt open, his eyes blank.
"I know you told me not to ask, and I'm not going to, but I can't keep doing this. You've changed. You changed so fast, like a switch being flipped, when I told you Henry was back with Miss Swan. Don't you want me here?" I ask, my voice trembling.
"Of course I do," he says hastily.
I walk over to him. "Then why do you push me away? Whatever it is, you can tell me," I say and sit down on his lap, caressing his hair.
"No, I can't," he says, staring deep into my eyes. "I wish I could, but it's not safe."
"Why isn't it safe? Are you in danger?" I ask.
"Maybe," he sighs. "Which puts you in danger," he adds."So regarding if I want you here or not, which I do, you can't stay."
I feel like he just slapped me in the face. "You do want me to go," I say, tears running down my cheeks now.
"I don't want to, but you need to," he says, his voice breaking slightly. "Things are about to happen which I can't protect you from. And if harm was to come to you, I don't know what I'd do. I don't want be responsible for jeopardizing your saftey. Which is already at stake. I need you to get out of Storybrooke." I'm sobbing now, my heart breaking like fractured glass. "But I love you," I cry. "And you promised to never leave me."
"I'm not leaving you, dearie. I'm asking you to leave me."
"But, but," I weep. "I rather die than leaving you," I hug him to me.
His lips are tembeling now. "A life outside Storybrooke awaits you. The one you left for in the first place. I was just a bump in the road on the way to that destination." A tear runs down his cheek. "No, you're not," I hug him harder, and he squeazes me back.
"Yes, dearie. But I am forever grateful for you coming here and taking your time to mend a dented man shaped by dark despair. You made me fall in love, which I didn't think I was capable of. You sparked a flame, and it will forever burn, wherever you are," he dries my tears away. "I need you to leave and be safe, and forget about me," he pleads.
"I could never do that. And I got no place to go. I got no car, no nothing. All that I am, I'm with you. Send me on my way, and I'm dust in the wind." I lean into him.
"You are shimmering specks of gold, dearie, glitter in the gust. You will scintillate the road you choose to travel."
I feel empty, weeping silently against the curve of his neck, his arms folded about my shivering body. Somehow, I manage to get up and into bed again, enclosed in his embrace till it's morning. A new day, and an end.
He makes love to me one final time, ever so tender, me craving and crying, whole and breaking at the same time. He looks down at me, his brown eyes mild, the darkness gone, before he leans down to kiss me with such sultry passion, I know it will last me a lifetime.

---

We step out of his car on the border of Storybrooke. I've said good-buy to Ruby, Granny and Regina, and it was like they knew why I had to leave.
Gold's offerd to drive me to my car, if it's even there, but I told him I wanted to leave the town on my own, just like I entered it.
"If it's ever safe for you to come back here, I will send for you," he says.
I look at him, both knowing he won't. Me leaving feels so final, like my time with him will be whisked from my memory once I step away from him, from Storybrooke. But I know I'll always carry the tale of the dark dressed gentleman with a heart of gold wherever I go.
"I'm sorry it came to this," Mr. Gold says. "I wish I could tell you what's going on, what will happen, but I'm afraid you wouldn't believe me."
"Probably not, but I guess you'll never know," I smile at him.
"Magic always comes with a price, dearie," he says.
"What does that mean?" I ask.
"If I could keep you, I would," he says. "But I got to pay, so I'm letting you go."
"Once again with the riddles," I say and try to smile, but falter, my eyes filling up with tears.
He takes out a glass vial and puts it to my chin, collecting my tears. I frown a little. "Something to remember you by," he says.
"You could have asked for a picture," I laugh vaguely.
"I have that too," he smiles. "And here," he says, taking out a small box from his inner pocket. "Something to remember me by."
I open the box. Inside's a gold amulet, on a gold chain, and in it there's a string of golden thread. "Gold," I say and look at the necklace. "I will never forget you." I embrace him with all I am before I kiss him. "I love you," I cry.
"I will always love you," he says, kissing my tears away.
I kiss him once more before I gather my things and make my way towards the town's sign. 

"Rumplestiltskin," he suddenly says.
I halt and look at him.
"That's my real name."
"Rumplestiltskin? Like the fairy tale?" I ask.
"Yes," he says and smirks.
"Well, my time here with you certainly has been like a fairy tale," I say and smile.
He walks over to me. "Go find your happily ever after, dearie," he says softly and kisses me one last time, letting me slip over the line he can't follow, towards my next "Once upon a time".