The wind filled the streets with ghastly howls. The gray clouds smothered the sun. Windows were dark and deserted with blinds drawn.

Nathan was heading up the steps of his front porch, resisting a nicotine craving, when he heard a sound like drum cymbals behind him. He turned to see Tom taking out the garbage. Their eyes met only an instant before Tom acted like they didn't. Nathan called out to his friend, "Are you avoiding me?"

Tom stopped halfway up the driveway. "No."

"Come here."

Tom shrugged. He crossed the street with his head hanging low like an admonished child.

"What's going on with you?" Nathan asked. He folded his arms. "You still think I had something to do with Lacey leaving?"

"Yeah. I do," Tom said, unsure of anything else he could say to justify himself anymore.

"Look," Nathan said. "I didn't want to tell you this because I wanted to spare your feelings, but she was cheating on you. I went to your house, let myself in with the spare key and chased a guy out of there. Lacey left soon after."

Tom folded his arms, mirroring Nathan. 

Nathan shrugged. "If I can't convince you, what's the fucking point—?"

"There's something you should know," Tom said, as serious as ever. Nathan didn't like this. Tom was almost never serious. "Something happened to Alex on Halloween."

Nathan held his breath, waiting for Tom's explanation. When Tom clammed up, Nathan said, "I thought you hardly saw her on Halloween."

"I might have smudged the truth."

"What happened?"

"We found the pagans who wear the seal of Solomon, followed them out to this cabin in the woods. Alex and I were both really drunk. She'd taken every drug under the sun so I tried to look after her. But I lost track of her at the cabin. She wandered into this room where people were having an orgy. I tried going after her, but someone—I think it was this guy Liam—choked me out and the next thing I knew I was on the side of the road. I went back for her as soon as I could."

"And? What happened when you got there?"

Tom shook his head helplessly. "Liam had her in his greenhouse, and she had the seal of Solomon inked in henna on her back."

"Fuck me," Nathan hissed. He ran lopsidedly toward his car. As he was warming up the engine, Tom took shotgun and buckled his seatbelt. With heat shooting out of the dashboard vents, the frosty windshield cleared.

"What are you doing?" Tom asked.

"I need to see her," Nathan said.

Nathan backed out of his driveway and they made the journey to Alex's house. Nathan filled Tom in on what he knew about Liam as they drove.

"His real name is Sam Preston. I talked to this woman in Red Bank. She filed charges against him ten years ago for statutory rape. He's a manipulator scumbag."

"God damn, dude."

They pulled up in front of Alex's house. Nathan rang the bell incessantly until Lillian Stockton answered the door.

"Where is she?" Nathan demanded.

"You," her mother snarled.

"I need to see her."

"I know it was you who gave her that black eye! I won't hesitate to call the police on you."

"Would you like my father's private line?" Tom asked.

Maxwell Stockton appeared behind his wife. One look at Nathan and his brow furrowed. "You're not welcome here anymore, son."

Nathan hung his head, remembering the sound of that smack when she hit the tree. "It was an accident."

"It always is with men like you," Lillian said.

Alex came down to the foot of the stairs, watching them for a minute as Nathan pleaded his case. "He didn't hit me," she said. "I told you that." Everyone turned to face her. She wore a long sleeved peasant blouse under a forest green jumper. Her long braid trailed down her shoulder, loose and uneven.

"He practically just confessed! I don't want him in my house!" Lillian exclaimed.

"It's my house too, Mom."

"Let them talk," said Alex's dad.

Lillian threw her arms up in defeat. She begrudgingly offered Tom some tea and he joined Alex's parents in the kitchen. Nathan followed Alex upstairs.

Her bedroom hadn't changed much since they were children. He had visited her when her legs were broken. His mother had pressured him into bringing her a bouquet of handpicked wildflowers. He could see now how this chain of events had eventually led up to Alex writing to him when he left for basic.

She still had the wooden dollhouse on the revolving platform and the sheer white curtains over her windows. At her vanity there were quartz crystals scattered across the surface and pictures of horses tucked into the corners of the mirror.

Alex sat down on her bed. A plastic bin lay open with dolls and stuffed animals spilling out of it. Rows of porcelain dolls lined her bed-pillows. They wore colorful dresses, with bonnets and baskets and white patent leather shoes. Nathan sat down on the opposite side of the quilted bedspread. Aethelwulf hopped down from his roost as Nathan entered, growling and circling around him.

"Sit," Alex commanded. Aethelwulf obeyed. "So," she whispered as she brushed out her doll's hair. "Why are you here?"

"To apologize," he said. He didn't want to dive right in to what Tom had told him. He had to ease into that subject or she would shut down. "I'm sorry for how we ended things and—sorry but—what are you doing?"

"Making them pretty." Her voice was so childlike. He didn't want to assume the worst, but all the signs were there that somebody had hurt her. Nathan picked up one of the dolls and tied the ribbon of her hat into a bow.

"They're already pretty," he said.

"Playing with them used to make me so happy when I was little." She was so far away in that moment. Nathan made the doll he was holding walk over to Alex and tap her doll on the shoulder.

He made the toy sway from side to side. Alex smiled at him. She put her other dolls back in the row, smoothing down their skirts with her hand. She took the one from him and hugged it close to her chest.

"Oh, Nathan," she said, closing her eyes. "How are you?"

"I'm on all new meds and I'm working really hard to get better. I'm sorry for hurting you."

"I don't deserve your apology." Her eyes darkened. She stood and took a seat at her vanity where little bundles of crystal lined the surface. She ran her fingers over spears that erupted from quartz clusters, picked one up and held it in her palm like an egg. "Sometimes I think I'm alive the way these crystals are alive. I can't move, can't change. I just exist, waiting for somebody to pick me up and add me to a collection."

Nathan suddenly noticed a dark vase of round red flowers. They had a yellow ribbon tied in a bow around the stems. He wondered where these came from. Had she been hospitalized? How recently? He spotted a hospital bracelet on top of her dresser and his chest tightened.

"Alex. You deserve so much better than that." He took the quartz from her, set it down and wrapped his hands around hers. "I wish I could give it to you. I really wish I could."

Aethelwulf emitted a low rumble in his throat. Alex hushed the beast and withdrew her hand. "All I want is an explanation. Is that so much to ask?"

"It isn't."

"Why did you throw away everything we had?"

Nathan's shoulders hunched up and stiffened like rock wall. He stared at the flowers on the night stand. Poppies. Her favorite. "I saw myself changing. I was afraid of becoming my father. I never told you how he died. You know he was a marine too, right? Well, when I was ten years old, he blew his brains out in the basement."

Alex's eyes filled with horror. "Oh, God," she whispered. "I—"

"It was a long time ago." Nathan cleared his throat, rolling his shoulders in an attempt to relax. "Did I ever tell you the ending to Eric and Enide?" He blinked back tears.

"You didn't."

"So you remember the count captured Enide in the forest, and as valiantly as Erec fought to protect her, he fell in battle. The count was going to force Enide to marry him. She sank into a deep depression, wouldn't eat, wouldn't drink. The count commanded her to be happy. She could not. Her heart was broken. And so the count beat her in front of his subjects. He struck her again and again, tearing her flesh apart, and her screams echoed through the halls until at last they awoke the knight Sir Erec. He had only been in a coma as his wounds were healing. Everyone in the castle was horrified upon seeing him rise from his slab. They called him a devil, compelled him to return to his tomb. He fought his way to his lady, felling man after man in a bloody pursuit. At last he killed the count and rescued Enide."

Alex nodded, but her eyes were vacant, lost in a blank stare. "Why do you tell these stories, Nathan?"

"I don't know. They bring me comfort. They bring order to an orderless world. Stories do that. Even painful ones. In therapy, I'm asked to tell stories from the accident. Telling the stories takes away their power."

"And it works?"

"Yeah. Maybe it would help you to talk about what happened on Halloween."

She startled at that. "I don't remember," she said quickly.

"Do you know who hurt you? I can make them go away. Like Erec made the count go away."

"All I want is for you to go away." She shoved her dolls aside and crawled into bed, hiding her face in her pillows. "There is no Erec and Enide. Nobody gets rescued before it's too late. It's always too late, Nathan. Even this. Now. It's too late. So just go away."

Nathan felt like someone was stabbing him in the heart with every word that she spoke. He clutched the bedpost as he gathered his balance. "I'll see you."

Downstairs, Tom wore an expression of sheer dread. As much as that puzzled Nathan, he had other things weighing on his mind.

"Let's go," said Nathan. "Take me to Liam."

________________________

Successfully posting while my son is asleep! Thank goodness this novel is already written.

Music: Muse "Neutron Star Collision"