Chapter 34

Dear Adria,

Things are tough, I guess.

I don't know what to do. Slytherin's reputation has gotten so out of hand that sometimes I don't even want to leave the common room because of the stares I get, it's like my status as a muggleborn has been wiped completely because of course, I'm in the "bad" house, which means I follow that dickhead.

Sorry for the language, it's just so frustrating.

Lia is trying to solve some things with Ramona, they had a huge fight - bigger than the one I had with Jesse, but I'll get to that later - and they both said things they didn't mean. I guess people were telling Ramona a bunch of lies about Lia and I can't deny that the girl is gullible, so she believed them to an extent.

Of course, Lia's word always comes first with Ramona, but she just has to make sure and I don't blame her for what's going on. Lia blew up though, and I don't blame that either because the lies were terrible, and I suppose the last person you want to believe such stupid things like being a death eater is your girlfriend.

I tried to study in the library the other day and all I could hear was whispering, I love my house and I love being a Slytherin but sometimes I feel like wearing my house colours as less as possible because I know people talk about me wearing those robes.

They feel sorry for me like they're sympathising the fact that I'm a muggleborn who has to walk around flaunting Salazar Slytherin's house colours, but I'm proud of my house and my colours. If I'm honest, I looked up a lot of stuff on Salazar Slytherin and Slytherin in general and personally I don't think he really hated muggles.

I don't think it was a hatred, I think he was scared. Wasn't his time - or around his time - when those witch burnings happened? Maybe he was afraid of that and not the actual people? I don't know, it's not Salazar Slytherin that I hate, it's this shithead guy trying to kill me.

Most of my friends in other houses have pushed me away, I'm not the girl I used to be to them and that hurt me more than anything I think. Even Jesse has lost friends because they don't want to associate themselves with the likes of me and because I'm his girlfriend, it's making things harder for him.

I tried to break up with him.

I did it nicely and I think I channelled some of you because I was crying the full time when I did it, he was livid and when he asked for the reason, I finally broke down and told him. I don't want him losing people because of me, I don't want him having a harder time at school because of me and because he's associated with me.

It's unfair for me to go through this and I know that, but I can put up with it, he doesn't need to and yet he does. He just held me for hours, and he told me that if I really wanted to break up with him then I can, but he want's an excuse other than that it'd be better for him.

He was being cheesy, and I smiled for the first time in months, so I don't think breaking up with him really would've been the best. That's the short version of what happened, we argued for half an hour about what was best, and he told me that his life would be nothing without me in it - that regardless of my house, it meant nothing to him because I meant everything to him.

It's hard to be apart from him when he's one of the only things able to make me happy.

His friends in other houses...the ones that left him aren't important to him, he said, because if they don't see how idiotic they're being then he doesn't want to associate himself with them. I think he's only trying to cheer me up most of the time and It does work, I can't lie about that.

I just wish that things didn't have to be different and that Hogwarts wasn't a place of pain and darkness.

I know that there are a lot of kids I know, purebloods in my house who are riddled with fear because they are being forced by their parents to fight. I want to help them and beg them to run away - to even come home with me...but I don't think they'll listen to me.

I was thinking about what I want to do with my money from mum and dad and I think I want to open up an orphanage of sorts - not really an orphanage but a safe place for kids...I've heard purebloods say they want to run away, and if that's one less fighter then they need a place to go.

I'm leaving in June and I'm not returning to Hogwarts, Addy, I can't put up with this for another two years and I'm sixteen soon anyway, it's not saying much, I know but I can't bear this. Jesse is leaving too, and Lia and Ramona are I think.

None of us can really cope with it all, even just being acquaintances with a Slytherin is putting you at the same level as them to kids in other houses, so you can imagine what it's like being the boyfriend and girlfriend of one.

I'll tell you how my plan goes with the orphanage. I think mum blessed me with people skills - and persuading skills - so maybe I can work some magic on the pureblood kids who are terrified of fighting, and I'll tell them my plan of a hideout for runaways.

Maybe they'll join, or they'll try and kill me.

I suppose anything is better than actually staying here, I can't wait to leave.

All I want is dad, and I hate saying that but it's true. I just wish he could give me the advice he used to, and everything would be bearable for a little while, but I suppose it doesn't work like that anymore.

I can't wait to come home and see you, it's been tough trying to be happy with Alfie gone, too, and I wish I had more time to think of it, but I feel numb too like you do. I look forward to your letters, your optimism helps me cope because I don't think I have the same enthusiasm about the war ending but it's good to know that you have hope that it will.

I love you so much Addy, tell Sirius I love him too. As well as Jude and Mila.

I'll see you all soon,

Love, Alina.

-

"I can't believe this," Adria whispered. She was pacing the living room with the letter in one hand and Jude clinging to her neck as she held him with the other. Sirius was sitting with Mila, rubbing her back as she woke from her sleep with a loud wail and startled Jude so much he wouldn't go back to sleep because he thought there was something wrong with the girl.

Adria had taken to multi-tasking. One minute she was collecting the day's mail to read just as she was curling into Sirius in their living room for the night and the next, the house was engulfed with screams, so of course, in order to read her letter from her baby sister did she decide to comfort Jude at the same time.

"I hate this." Sirius shook his head. Adria had read the letter aloud to him, trying her best to be as soothing as possible so that Jude wouldn't wake up. They were expecting a letter from Lia at some point, too, considering she had a fight with Ramona - that would definitely be a big topic she would need advice on.

"Idiotic," said Adria, turning to face him with a sigh, "I get the reputation on Slytherin has been around since we were at school...but seriously?! Surely everyone knows that Alina and Lia are the nicest girls in that entire fucking castle!"

"Exactly," Sirius grumbled, shaking his head and cringing when Mila shifted in his arms. He wrapped both arms around her, kissing her head softly and soothingly in order to ease her into a deeper sleep.

"I hate that Allie thought that attempting to break up with Jesse is a good thing." She frowned, bouncing ever so slightly which happened to be one of Jude's favourite things.

"Well-"

"Sirius!" Adria warned, earning a glare through his sheepish smile.

"I know," he finally said, "course the boy has some common sense."

"Babe, he is an exact replica of you," Adria snorted, "every time you insult him, you're practically insulting yourself!"

"That is so untrue!" Sirius huffed, "I hope Lia is alright, though. Having lies spread about you - and your girlfriend believing them..."

"I know. I don't think Ramona believed them fully, though, she's a nice girl and she loves Lia with all of her heart. I think she's just wary - isn't she a pureblood? I think she has some sort of background that involves purebloods so maybe she is just terrified like most people are?" Adria suggested.

"Do you think they could come home?" Sirius asked quietly, "I mean...I know it's April but that's only two months! We could just kidnap them. They want to come home, Merlin I think Allie was hinting that she did, what harm could it possibly do? it gets them out of there!"

"Yes but Allie has her O.W.Ls and Lia has her N.E.W.Ts, course Lia doesn't have to do her newts if she really doesn't want to but Allie needs her owls. You know she does, what'll happen when this war ends, and she has nothing going for her?" Adria sighed, shaking her head with a look that could only be described as heartbreak written clearly on her face, "plus she wants to ask those kids if they'll run away, I wonder how she's going to do that without sounding crazy."

"Hello fellow Slytherin, I have just recently found out that I'm filthy rich and I want to spend the money on helping pureblood kids, want to run away?" Sirius mimicked Alina, even going as far as to use an overly high voice and Adria couldn't stop her quiet laughter.

"I don't think Alina has ever used "Hello fellow Slytherin" ever in her entire life," Adria giggled, though her frown quickly returned at the thought of her sisters being miserable, "what are we going to do when they finally leave?"

"Hmm?"

She moved to sit beside him, and Jude's head fell onto Sirius' lap without the help of Adria in order to make himself comfortable even in his sleep, "I mean...it's Allie and Lia - they would risk everything to fight and I know we're young but they're younger. Course Lia is seventeen, but Allie wouldn't care about fighting even if she wasn't of age.

She was shooting curses even in her second year without a thought because she's so gifted...it's scary, Sirius. Missions are hard and brutal, and Allie or Lia wouldn't think twice about jumping into that and fighting for everyone.

And we can't tell them that they aren't allowed to fight - they have every right to do what they want, we'll always be some sort of guardians, but we have no power over their decisions for their lives, it's not like we're much older than them!"

Sirius pulled on her arm, so she was closer, soon wrapping his around her and pressing a lingering kiss to her temple, "Allie will want to fight but she'll think of what's best for her too, and having the ministry trying to get to her won't exactly sit well with her. She's smart but she plays by the rules, but she can still help.

She can work with healing and bandage open wounds in the order whilst staying safe, and Lia is smart too, so she might not even want to fight on missions without her best friend but what they decide is never going to sit well with us because them risking their lives is too much to bear.

But if they were on missions we'll make sure we're with them and we can help and protect them...keep an eye out and make sure they're alright," Sirius forced a smile for her, leaning down and softly kissing her lips.

"No one..." she shook her head, a glint of fury in her eye that didn't go unnoticed, "no one gets away with hurting my little sister, Sirius."

"Oh, I know." He nodded, "trust me, I know that all hell would break loose when you get your hands on anyone who even tried."