Chapter 29

"Intense," she answered Sirius' question with a shaky breath and her scarred hands clutching tightly onto a ragged cloth. An order mission, her first, and she was just back after being successful.

It was intimidating to walk into that meeting just before, to be paired with her husband and her two best friends, the fighting duo with no mercy - her Lily and her James had that title throughout the order - brave and young and ready to power through and fight.

He had asked her as they arrived home how she felt, how she thought it was - it was intense, but she managed and she was successful and James had commented how she and Sirius would be the next fighting duo if they kept up such adrenaline throughout all missions.

She smiled at that, but she didn't smile at the lifeless bodies trying to kill them and trying to kill the family they had been protecting. She used the killing curse more than she ever thought she'd have to, and all but three were successful and she didn't know if the nausea she felt was because she enjoyed watching the life drain from their eyes - or their bodies drop to the ground.

"For my brother," she spat just before she apparated back to the order's headquarters and Sirius held her hand a little tighter after he heard her words.

"You know," Sirius whispered as he sat on the edge of their bathtub, "that was one of the most intense missions I've been on in months...and you handled it with a clear head and a strong fight. You did better than I've seen in a while...merlin, you did better than Peter the first time."

"Peter can be a wuss sometimes," Adria mumbled quietly, dipping the cloth into the scalding water in the sink, "it keeps him human."

"You're right."

She kneeled in front of him, just crouched ever so slightly and she closed her eyes at his flinching, "I could have stopped that curse."

"You were busy. I should have been focusing more than I was," he whispered. He recalled the fight, he and James had broken off and had been ambushed by a dozen death eaters...that's what they were called - Peter had told him.

Sirius didn't know how the boy knew that, but he didn't ask questions.

He had screamed bloody murder, curses from his mouth and his wand thrown the death eaters way only to be matched with the cloaked figures to fall to their knees to reveal Adria and Lily with their hands clutched tightly in each others and wands in their direction.

When they thought they were in the clear, James and Sirius had started joking about how they didn't stand a chance, only for Sirius to fall to the ground from a curse to his stomach and Adria screaming the killing curse as she killed the man who did it.

"You thought we were safe. He came out of nowhere," she sat down the cloth and lifted his shirt over his head. The order - even the purebloods - realised it was so much easier to fight in muggle clothing, with robes getting in the way and the fashion less sturdy, they could guard themselves with armour under t-shirts and kneepads under jeans, it was better.

She hated that some curses gave real wounds - it was a gruesome sight to see the blood dripping from his toned stomach, and in a way to lighten the mood, she asked, "have you been working out?"

He smiled softly, "is my bloodied stomach turning you on?"

She shook her head with that same smile, "are we renaming order missions to intense workouts? You didn't have those abs in school."

"I probably won't have them after the war anyway," he leaned down and brushed his lips over her forehead, "enjoy it while it lasts."

"I don't know..." she shook her head, nose scrunched and a puff of breath floating from her lips, "if we make more food do you think you'll get your cuddliness back? I think I'd much prefer that, actually."

"I think both Jude and I would be much happier if you bake again," he grinned, "I don't like having to make dinner with vegetables."

"It's so Jude eats his," she laughed quietly, "I'm sure you'll think of some charm to make chocolate look like vegetables, I'd like that too."

"You've made me self-conscious about my rock-hard abs," he huffed, running his hand through her hair, "I thought I looked great."

"You look lovely, Sirius." She braced herself for his pain when she pressed the cloth to the dried blood just near the wound, "I'm sorry."

"I deserve it, anyway."

"No, you don't, Sirius. It was a rookie mistake - and we aren't experts at this. We're teenagers, eighteen and nineteen trying to fight for our lives...we aren't supposed to be mature and responsible and we aren't fully that anyway." She squeezed the dried bloody water into the bathtub behind her, cleaning the cloth once more before repeating her first step.

"I want to know what that curse is," she said, "the one they used. I think it's the same as the one they gave me."

He tensed at that and she couldn't find it in her to smile comfortingly - because any thought of her brother or her child was too painful to think of, so she busied herself with cleaning up his wounds.

"I think my wound is fine." He traced his finger down her bloodied arm, "I need to clean you up too."

"Do I need to reveal my, of course, toned stomach?" she quirked an eyebrow and he smiled unforced.

"You're not toned yet," he smirked, "you're still as cuddly as ever. It's great. Course I wouldn't mind you taking off your shirt - it'd give me a wonderful view."

"It's good to know that you can still flirt even in pain."

"I'll still be flirting with you on my deathbed, Adria." Her eyes fluttered up to meet his and she took a sharp breath. The fear in his eyes was evident because part of him thought that would be soon - maybe the next mission, maybe a year...none of them knew when they'd die.

But Adria was determined to live through this war.

"When we're eighty in an old folk's home do you think we'll still be...active?" she wiggled her eyebrows and any fear he felt slipped away at the sight of her smile and the clear determination in her eyes.

"That'd be a sight."

She dried off his stomach, grabbing her wand and sealing up the wound that had stopped bleeding only half an hour ago. He was watching her intently, watching her eyes scan over his chest, his stomach, just him - for anything she could find that needed patched up.

There were scars all over him, bruises and scars and even burns but she couldn't heal them herself. But she moved forward, and he watched her kiss the skin his wound once was, and her lips brushed over every inch of him until she'd push her kisses harder onto the bruises and the scars, soft - but harder.

"I think when you're forty I'd still find you hot," she admitted, pushing herself up and cleaning the blood from her hands, "maybe you'll have like the...distinguished look - like you're old looking but still I'd fuck you."

"Well I'm glad my wife will want to make love when we're forty," he scoffed, "some couples lose interest."

She turned with a wink, leaning down with her hands on either side of his face and kissed him deeply, "not me."

"Are you trying to distract me from cleaning your wound?" his head tilted and the smirk on his lip widened when she scowled, taking his place on the edge of the tub and watching him drain the water, "it could get worse if we leave it."

"It's going to hurt though," she grumbled, flinching at the pain already coursing through her arm, "can I ask something?"

"Of course, you can, Addy."

"No...it's - it's about our baby." Her voice was a whisper in the air, hardly audible but he heard, and he still nodded, "did you have...options for names?"

He stopped for a second, filling up the sink silently and she watched his jaw clench and unclench. It was a weird feeling, one she had never truly felt before and she didn't know what to make of it...she hated talking about it, but it was as if though, somehow, she just had to talk about it.

She was set on it being a girl, she didn't have a true feeling but she just...thought it would be.

"For a girl..." he trailed off, squeezing the cloth, "I liked...Aliana. I don't even know where I heard it but it reminded me so much of Alina that it stuck - I think she would've liked that, too."

Her breath caught in her throat...Aliana. It was a gorgeous name and even thinking of it made her heartache.

"And...for a boy?"

"I had a few," he shook his head, "I liked Ewan. I think I liked it because I've never met a wizard with that name...but down the pub with the boys, I've heard it said a few times - a lot of muggles share that name, and I don't know, I liked the thought of it.

Like a powerful move, you know? Because I'm so fucking proud of you, and I know a lot of muggleborn's, and I have a family of muggles and they are powerful regardless of the magical blood or lack of it."

She wiped her tears silently, taking a shaky breath and failing to meet his gaze, "I want to try again."

"Wh- what?"

"Not right now," she laughed tearfully, eyes blurred, and her hand moved to wipe them furiously once again, "after the war. I want to try again, I wanna have Aliana - or Ewan. Or both.

I was terrified of having children, Sirius. I hardly wanted them...and that little child was in my stomach for less than I wanted - and I was terrified to have her, or him, but I still wanted to. I loved them with my whole heart, and I know that you will be a fucking wonderful father. I want to try again."

He dropped to his knees in front of her, taking her head in his hands and kissing her powerfully, allowing her arms to wrap around his neck and for her to deepen the kiss between them, "When the war is over...and we're settled and in jobs we want to be in. We'll have Jude and Mila, and it could be our little family - Sirius...I want our family to grow."

"I do too," he breathed against her lips, standing up but leaning down to meet her, "I want to live a life we're proud of, Adria."

"I'm proud of the one we're living already," she ran a hand through her knotted curls, "because we've accomplished a lot even with the world going to shit, but even then...I just want to look back on our life when I'm like what...eighty? And know that I lived it right."

He smiled, "if you bleed out because of that arm I'll be pissed so please sit still."

She rolled her eyes and shifted to get comfortable, "telling May I was quitting was the hardest thing."

"I know." He nodded, reaching for her hand and squeezing it, "I recall the crying."

"Are you teasing me, Mr Black?"

"I would do no such thing, Mrs Black."

He slowly took off the bandage that Lily had put around her arm just for pressure and to make sure she didn't actually bleed out, they didn't know if someone could bleed out from a wound in their arm but they weren't taking any chances and when she winced, he threw her a look that told her he was sorry, "I know for a fact you can handle a simple wound, Addy."

He was being as gentle as he could be, and after he wiped each section of blood he would softly kiss the skin. She stood up when he was finally done, stretching out her muscles and falling into him with a groan, "I'm exhausted."

"Me too," he wrapped his arms around her tightly, "I guess you'll just have to admire my rock-hard abs in the morning."

She leaned in and kissed his shoulder, running her hand over his stomach and whispered, "you know what, I'm not so tired anymore."

She smiled a proper smile when his laughter rang through the bathroom, and not a moment later did he have her in his arms - legs wrapped around his waist and her lips on his as he tried his best to guide them to their bedroom.

"You know what," he whispered between kisses, "me neither."