Chapter 19

"I'm not late, I'm not late!" Adria exclaimed as she rushed through the doors of the café, her heavy jacket drenched in rain weighing her down and the wet curls on her head sticking to her face, "I'm...right on time!"

"Yes, if right on time meant five minutes late," Mildred snorted, rushing into the back and emerging with a towel for the girl to quickly dry herself, "you look positively terrible."

"Oh, wow, thank you," Adria glared, hanging up her jacket and letting her bag fall onto the counter just behind the till. She gratefully took the scrunchie that Mildred was handing her and scraped the wet hair out of her face to show her rosy cheeks and bluing lips.

"Care to tell your very worried friend why you look like you're about to die?" asked Mildred, handing the change to the nice old lady who was a regular customer that Adria had served many times, "May was ready to call your home when I saw you rushing across the street."

"I had the same issue with Jude at nursery," she groaned, leaning against the counter and thankful that the place wasn't as busy in the morning, "he didn't want to go into class and started crying...saying he wanted dad and I couldn't cope with it but I needed to because Sirius wasn't with me - he had to leave for work earlier than usual because of the holidays. A lot of people put their cars in over the winter break and get it after, and there were tons and it was his first day back...anyway! I was trying to calm down Jude for so long, it took almost half an hour and then in walks Jackson.

Jackson is his best friend, they met on the first day and they're almost inseparable. I painted Jude's nails during the break and he asked if he could take the "nail paint" for Jackson and when I reminded him when he saw Jude he couldn't get away from me quick enough!"

"Is it hard?" asked Mildred, smiling at the elderly couple as they left the café, "taking care of Jude like that, Adria, you're only eighteen."

"I know but...I think I've had to grow up a bit much to my own misfortune," Adria sighed, "I mean we're in the middle of a war that half the world doesn't know about because they don't have power," she stepped closer to Mildred, "Sirius comes from one of the most powerful pureblood families in the wizarding world and he's living as a muggle, and I don't have my parents anymore so it's just life, isn't it?

I think Sirius and I had to grow up a bit earlier than we both wanted too, and I think if we didn't then me being pregnant would be a lot more surprising than It is. I mean I don't think my parents would be that fond at first about it even though they'd be ecstatic and I don't think Sirius and I would be getting married this early-"

"What?!" Mildred gasped, wide-eyed and turning to her. She almost choked on the tea she was drinking, and Adria clasped her hand over her lips when she realised she hadn't told Mildred yet about her engagement, "Sirius proposed?!"

Adria nodded silently, sticking out her hand and showing the ring on her finger that glistened in the light above them. A few heads turned at the sound of Mildred's squeal and Adria couldn't help but giggle, "how long have you two been together?"

"Since we were fourteen," she whispered, "it just feels crazy to think that I've known him for five years already. Of course, I knew of him for longer and when we first met properly I couldn't stand him he was insufferable but it's just laughable how completely in love with him I am. He has been with me through every single thing that I remember, he held me and helped me when I couldn't help myself with my mum and he's been by my side as I've grown up and it's just mental!"

"And now you're having a child together and you're getting married," Mildred shook her head in shock, "you already do have a child together...technically."

"Sirius has this nickname with a bunch of our friends - they're all a bunch of dorks I swear...in our fifth year they named themselves the Marauders and Sirius' nickname is Padfoot, so Jude calls him Pad. I think it's just adorable how much it sounds like dad and Sirius says he's as good as a dad to him because we are all he has as honorary parents and I love it, I love having Jude and neither me and Sirius could ever imagine waking up without hearing Jude's little footsteps coming down the hall." She let out a laugh, turning to make a new pot of tea for the customers piling in whose orders she already knew.

"Have you decided on anything yet?" asked Mildred, soon turning from Adria when the customers started to line up and with the cheeriest voice she could muster, she served them with a smile.

"Not yet," Adria said, piling teacups onto a tray for the first order, "I think we want to do it soon, y'know? Because as much as neither of us wish to think of it, Sirius is fighting, and he doesn't tell me what he does in this order but he's doing a lot and I don't want to get a phone call that says he's been terribly hurt and not get access to him because I'm just a girlfriend."

"Okay but aren't a lot of your friends in that order, and you are definitely not just a girlfriend, Adria," Mildred said, "even I know that. Not to mention that right now you're his fiancée and the woman carrying his child."

"It's so weird to think of that," she whispered, shaking her head, "I think because we're still so young it takes a lot to get used to, but all of our friends have had to grow up so quickly. None of us could leave school and live a normal life like this because it's impossible! Hogwarts was like a beacon for fighters and those who wished to fight against people like me, families have joined him and students and kids I went to school with barely months ago and ones I didn't even expect either, ones that talked to me as if they didn't care about my status and now they're off and part of me thinks its fear for them.

But all of this...living like this isn't me," she was whispering and thankful that there were no customers at the counter to hear them, "I'm not just someone who can sit back and watch as my friends take charge and fight for people like me. I should be fighting for people like me...maybe not right now with a child in me but in what...four months' time? When I can get back on my feet and take a stand and help, I could do some damage!"

"Yes, but that's the thing, Addy, the reason I'm not fighting in this order, but my father is, is because I need to provide for us whilst he helps, that's why I'm here. It's not a lot but it's enough and you aren't just fighting for yourself, you have responsibilities now, you have Jude and this new child and Sirius is going to need someone to clean him up when it gets too hard and how could that happen if you come home worse than him?

What if you both go home hurt so badly that you can barely move and you have two small children needing you? you have told me countlessly about Alfie and Grace and how he wants Jude and how you don't think he's fully stopped fighting for him even though you're his guardian so what if when you get your checkup after you have given birth and you're littered with bruises and cuts and scars and they think you're not well enough to look after him?

What if they think these scars and bruises weren't inflicted by fighting because they don't know that there is a war, they're muggles! What if they think they were inflicted by Sirius? Then what? You're just protecting your then husband and what if Alfie doesn't agree with it but wants Jude so much that he doesn't deny the possibility?

You're fighting for yourself in a world that's against you by raising your new family, Adria, it's all you can do at a time like this and you're doing a great job. When Sirius comes home beaten and battered then you're always there to kiss his cuts and that's all you can do. When this war gets even more brutal then you might be the only one able to provide for your family, who can keep an income and take care of two children at the same time and when that happens you're going to have less free time to do anything else so fighting is certainly out of the picture!" Mildred was trying her hardest to keep her voice down but from the perspective of the customers, it certainly didn't look like advice but a very quiet argument.

But Mildred was very close with Adria as they worked side by side almost every day and Adria was so fond of the girl that she felt her heart swell with how much she cared. Mildred had told her all about her father and how he fought in the order and Sirius had even grown fond of the man when he told him that his girlfriend worked with Mildred, and Adria, as much as she hated it - knew that the girl was right.

She couldn't just think of herself anymore because she had responsibilities and those responsibilities weren't minor, they were her new life and she wasn't just a teenager, she was a soon to be mother and a guardian and a wife and she had to look after her family and provide just as much as Sirius was trying to.

She couldn't use the excuse that she was young anymore because all of her friends were young too and maybe they weren't providing for their family but just each other but they were fighting every night and receiving terrible cuts and painful wounds and it was scary, but it was life.

It was their life and in some way, they were all fighting for a better one for their kids and for their future selves because they were still kids and at some point, in the future they wanted there to be a light and a happiness and for them to finally breathe a sigh and know that they could relax and be happy for just a while.

"Thank Merlin I have your wisdom, Mil," Adria mumbled, widening her smile for the customer wishing for one of their scones to which Mildred prepared it for the sweet old lady. Most of their regular customers entered the shop just as Adria was starting because it was the start of the day and a way for them to see their friends.

There was a group of ladies that knew May well that came into the café every Wednesday to catch up and May took her break earlier than usual from baking in order to sit with them and chat and laugh, it was always lovely to see May so happy.

"I wish I had someone," Mildred said, "y'know just someone to protect me and for me to protect them...the way you and Sirius are. It's always so lovely to see people that in love and it's kind of unbelievable that your friends have found people like that too."

"Sometimes all we have is each other, though," Adria whispered, taking a deep breath, "take Remus. He has all of us and Blair who he is head over heels for and it's lovely but he and Blair have nothing else. Blair is going crazy trying to get her younger sister out of her father's custody and Remus is overworking himself to exhaustion at his job.

They're staying at his parent's house, so he has to apparate every single night in order to go home and his mother is sick, so he can barely catch a break. He's about to collapse from exhaustion and stress and it's just so horrible to witness because he deserves a break and a house and to go to work and go home not having to worry so much.

My best friend Isaac who is Blair's best friend and Remus too - all of my friend's best friend, he sleeps on the couch of Remus' parents' home because he used to live with Blair. He has no one else and it's just...so...horrible and I've told them countless times that when Alina and Lia aren't home then they have the spare rooms, but they don't listen!

They think they're a burden but they're my family and I would do anything for them," Adria took a deep breath, sighing as she done so, and Mildred patted her arm.

"Sometimes the ones closest to us don't want us to see them struggling," Mildred said, "but you're doing amazingly Adria, life has knocked you down but look at you! you're on the track to a bright future and if that's still in this shop or in the wizarding world you're going to be incredible at it all."