I actually finished this one haha.

Sometimes my mind wanders to dangerous places. Places that it’s not supposed to go. Like for instance one night I was able to tap into my fear central and find out what I was truly afraid of. I would tell you but then I would be giving away a great advantage over me and that wouldn’t be good.

        I often tend to give too much away. Like when I’m giving book spoilers or giving away hints to gifts or even trying to help someone learn or memorise things; I always end up giving away too much. It’s cos I trust the people I’m helping so much that I let them convince me to tell them. I am a very trusting person and no one will be able to change that except maybe a psychiatrist but I don’t have one of those nor do I intend to ever get one. I also don’t really think that a physiatrist would be able to fix me. No one can fix me cos I wandered too far.

I wandered too far into the dangerous places and depths of my mind and now there’s no returning.

There’s no escaping.

No more living no more dying.

No more breathing no more blinking.

No more running no more laughing.

No more playing no more hating.

No more singing no more drawing.

No more death no more life.

No more anything.

Nothing and no one but me. I wandered so deep into my mind that I can’t get tout again. I can never escape the unending tunnels of my mind. I can never leave. I can never escape. I can never see the true light of day again. I can only see pitch black. Nothing more nothing less. I can barely see myself, but I can see myself somehow. I don’t know how but when I do –the rare occasions I see my own flesh- it’s horrifying. It’s dry and brittle and dead and is rotting. It’s discoloured and even paler than it was when I began. When I say began I mean when I got lost in my mind.

                The human mind is a very dangerous place. It can create anything or destroy anything. It can change us so many ways and often times it does. We change more than a thousand times a second with just all our body functions. What if our mind was to crash and die cos of all the things it is doing at once? That’s another way to get to Limbo. To have our mind crash burn and die from overuse. Then we go to the inky horrible blackness or the pure white bright horrifying whiteness.

                There are the rare times when you get to a place that is only red. Nothing but a deep, blood red that pierces what’s left of your sanity and leaves it to die. Nothing can escape the red. With black you know you’re going to survive. With white it’s a bit less likely but with red. No, with red you die. You scream and burn and go insane and die. You lose and get lost in what little of your mind is left and you burn from the inside out and suffer mentally and physically.

                Soon no one will be able to escape from their own minds. They will be driven to insanity by their own foolish choices to ‘deepen their knowledge’ when it will do nothing more than trap them inside their consciousness and leave them to their crumbling sanity to die a slow painful death that will rot their bodies from the inside out starting with their mind. The lucky ones rot from the outside in, leaving their minds last. Those are the ones in black. The ones who are spared the torment of the white and the pain of the red.

                Don’t ask me how I know this, because I don’t have the answer. I never will but I don’t care, because I am blessed with the black. I have no interest in continuing my research into the far corners of the mind, because I have gotten all I want and need to satisfy myself.

                The people doing the tests on me won’t like me giving up, but tough for them. I did the important part of my job. I took the test. I don’t need the extra credit.

                Suddenly out of the blackness came a figure. I couldn’t see this figure very well. It was like in a dream where you could see their faces and bodies but you couldn’t see any details like they were pixelated. I ran away from the figure, feeling only harm and danger radiating from it. If I had learned anything from the darkness it was to stay away from anything that wasn’t me. Anything that wasn’t me couldn’t be trusted. Things that couldn’t be trusted couldn’t be communicated with, because if I didn’t trust them then my mind shut them off. Well, what was left of my mind. I had little defences in the black but in the white you had none and in the red you only had your hands.

See, in the black you couldn’t touch anything. The one weapon you had in the redness was your hands and the reason it was only your hands was because they thought that anything else would be easy enough to beat. Oh look. My mind is starting to deteriorate now. And the pixel man is coming still.

Oh no. The blackness. It’s closing in. Oh help me. Help me no. Help me! It’s turning white! Help! I can’t feel my legs. Help me please! Help me! Help me! Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! It’s tuning red. It’s red oh- oh lord help me it’s red, take away the red. No! The red is the worst things you could get! It’s death.

Oh. No, no, the red isn’t bad.

It’s warm.

It’s caring.

It loves me.

 The red… it’s calling me.

I must go to the red. It needs my help.

I need the red and it needs me.

Oh, I feel pain.

Pain is normal.

If you feel pain, do not worry.

It will be gone soon.

There is no reason to be worried.

Red will protect us.

Red will love us and guard us and we will help it.

(Don’t give in.)

The red will love us.

(Don’t let it take you.)

The red will protect us.

(Fight it.)

The red will care for us.

 (Resist.)

We have no reason to fear the red

(It’s lying.)

 It will never hurt us.

(It is lying to you.)

It only wants to help.

(Feel the pain it is bringing you.)

No more red.

(Goodbye insanity.)

END