x.

Michael, just like everybody else, it seems, because he is having fun for being able to back at the paddock even though this time not as a Formula 1 driver's performance coach. But not like it's a bad thing, anyway. He missed the life he had while being Daniel's coach, at the same time being able to learn about cars, but being a therapist for an Olympian isn't bad either.

He still gets to travel. He can still have breakfast in Paris and dinner in Germany. He still gets to bring his girlfriend traveling, try new things even though he doubts that they hadn't tried anything new anymore.

Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, they're joined with other mechanics just outside Haas hospitality. He saw Sarah somewhere near the media pen on his way to Haas Motorhome. His girlfriend is with him, though being quiet because she doesn't get what the guys are talking about.

The engineers are talking about cars problems when Michael catches you running in your sandals towards the exit of the paddock. His eyes trail behind you, trying to find the man you came here with but when that man doesn't appear–in which confirming that you're left alone somehow–Michael's blood immediately boils. He doesn't have to hear the reason but he already feels as if punching Daniel in the gut.

But still, what happened?

Michael glances at his girlfriend, raising one of his eyebrows as if to ask her "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" but his girlfriend's attention is already on you. And just like Michael, she looks worried.

"Michael–"

Michael nods his head once and firm. "I'll be right back," he says, short and compact.

After a quick kiss, Michael excuses himself. His girlfriend doesn't say anything but watches him running towards you, forehead full of concern. She doesn't know you that long but just like Michael, she doesn't have to hear the reasoning but she already feel like slapping Daniel in the face.

It might be a little too late for him to catch up with you in the sea of people, but some miracles happen that you're reunited with him just outside the exit. You almost roll your eyes when you hear his voice calling after you.

"Hey." Michael is panting as he stops in front of you. He should be fit but geez, he didn't know that being 30s could do this to him. "Where are you going?"

You refuse to look up, afraid Michael sees your red eyes so you choose to shrug instead.

Michael pauses for a few seconds, watching you. He knows you're crying. Otherwise, you won't hide your face from him, but instead of asking why, he asks, "Where's Daniel?"

"He's–" Your voice croaks. "He's with Verstappen."

Michael frowns. "Um," he doesn't know what to say because what's wrong with him with Max? He is undeniably one of Daniel's best friend on the paddock. He's a family man as much as Daniel is. Max won't ignore one's plus one and will include them in the conversation because he has so much respect for them.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"Doesn't matter. He doesn't care about me."

Michael winces. "You know that's not true."

"You weren't there."

"There? Where?"

"When Daniel meets up with Verstappen and his other friends," you say as a matter-of-fact. "Look, I'm tired. I've got to go. If you see Daniel, tell him don't come looking after me."

"Zahara, wait! You can't leave like this." Michael didn't mean to point out your red eyes and swollen face. What he meant was that you cannot leave without confronting with Daniel first. He's sure Daniel must have his own reason why he neglected you.

You didn't listen to Michael. You continue walking even though Michael is calling your name frantically behind you.

The first thing that comes into Daniel's mind is to get comfortable with his old friends first. It hasn't only been a while. It's been a year! A year without nothing. He needs some times to re-adjust with their vibes and reactions towards his illness.

He has a lot of stories to tell Max. From the start of the accident, to when he is in a coma, to when his is discharged, to why he decided to hide from the world. Not to mention what everybody had put him through. Even though he doubts Max won't understand, but he knows he owes Max that much. After all, Max is one of the drivers who reached out to him almost every day.

Without taking notice, the short greet turns into a five-minute conversation. From five turns to ten. By the time he remembers who he came here with, he tries to reach out his hand for you, hoping that you were there to link yours his. He wants to introduce you to them. He didn't see it coming, but he wants to show you off to his friends. He wants to let them know how amazing you were dealing with a sick and mentally ill (a little bit) person. He wants to let them know that you're the reason he's here with them today.

Daniel gives it a few second to feel the warmth of your skin, to feel your fingers intertwining with his, but he didn't feel any. And his heart drops when he turns around and you aren't there.

"Who are looking for, mate?" Max looks genuinely worried.

"Uh... There is a person that I'd like you guys to meet."

Almost every one of them looks confused but excited nonetheless.

"Your girlfriend?" It's Max again.

Daniel panics. He was so sure that you were there close to him just like how close you were with him when both of you entered the paddock. And how close you were with him when other drivers were around. You were even closer when he's meeting A. Now, not seeing you around makes Daniel feels like he's having separation anxiety.

He should've just continued holding your hands, shouldn't he? If he wants you by his side forever, he could've just told you the truth. After what you've gone through together, what else could he possibly want aside from a woman who'd stick with him on his worse?

He could've just admitted that he loves it when your skin touches his like everything in him alights when he's holding your hand. Everything feels amazing when you're close to him and just now when he lets you go, he almost wanted to take your hand back.

He is a coward. He lost everything after the accident and now, he's losing you because he is a coward with a capital C.

Daniel excuses himself from the small gathering, promise to catch up later–maybe tomorrow after the main race. Good thing, there were no further questions, but they must've seen the sadness and determination on Daniel's face that they decided to let Daniel go.

The former Formula 1 driver reunites with his best friend on his way towards the paddock exit.

"Consider yourself lucky we're in public, Daniel, otherwise, your jaw is broken right now."

Daniel doesn't have time to react. "Where is she?"

"She left."

"She left?"

"Yeah. You're talking with some friends in front of the Red Bull Motorhome. You forgot about her."

"What? No no! It's not supposed to be like that."

Daniel exits the paddock. Michael rejoins with his girlfriend at the cafeteria. Sarah is still nowhere to be seen and Michael thinks that she is having the best day of her life. Whatever Sarah is doing, he just hope that woman doesn't end up in jail and hopes doesn't end up like you.

Saudi Arabia is foreign to you. They dress differently. They talk differently. Most of the men are tall and built as if they're born that way. Their jaws prominent; their eyes sharp and sexy; their smile intoxicating. If you were writing a book about a mafia boss, this is the perfect place to stay until your book finishes just to get the vibe. But since you are not writing about it at the moment and you are not in the mood to discover the country, you head back to your hotel room. Finally, after two hours of walking, you are sitting at the balcony of your room, massaging your feet.

While Saudi Arabia's day weather was scalding, the evening is cool. The sky at the end of the horizon is slowly changing colours as time passes by. It was yellow with a tinge of orange just a few minutes ago. Now it has turned reddish.

You hear a prayer somewhere from your right.

The sun is no longer on the sky.

The sky gets dark.

The moon replaces the sun.

You wonder what Daniel is doing right now. You wonder if he was chatting with his friends at the paddock. As the night appears, you wonder if Daniel was going out with his friends after the qualifying session to have some alcohols. You wonder if Daniel thought about you even one second while making out with another girl. You wonder many things. Things that make you hurt.

The professional relationship that you promised with Daniel when he first agreed to coach Adam seems to betray you. You had fun seeing him coaching Adam but you had more fun spending time with him on his free time. Him being himself, you being yourself around each other. Farther into the relationship, you found a friend in Daniel.

You found a friend in Daniel. You begin to care about him as a friend, not as the kid's aunt. You begin to trust him that you start to open up about Luke. You brought him to the 'sacred room.' He begin to trust you that both of you start to work out with your communication skills in the relationship. Somewhere in there, your crush towards Daniel becomes deeper that it doesn't feel like it's just a crush anymore. You know you're falling for him.

But still you play it coy. You didn't want to show Daniel or give Daniel any hints that you are already falling in love with him because you didn't want to fall in love with him in the first place. He was your crush. Luke was still constantly on your mind. The house you live in still reminds you of Luke. However, as time passes by, you're not thinking about Luke anymore. It hits you like a ton of bricks fell on top of your shoulders when you realise why.

And you wonder if Daniel liked you the same way you do to him.

If you could, you would fly back home tonight. But your savings are used up for the paddock passes for you, Sarah and Daniel so you have no choice but to wait until Sunday. Maybe you will go to the watch the main race tomorrow. Maybe you won't because you don't want to bump into Daniel. Maybe you will still go to meet Hamilton for the sake of Luke.

While you're staring at the starless dark sky, you hear someone knocks your door. Startled, it takes you some time to recover before you get up and answer the door. Through the peep hole, you see the man you've been thinking about, standing at the other side of the door nervously. Your heart picks up.

You open the door.

Daniel gulps as he pulls his sleeves to his wrists.

You stare at each other.

Then,

"You left too soon," Daniel states.

"I got tired," you lie.

Pause.

"Can I come in?"

You stand still for a moment, thinking if it's the right thing to do. It could be bad but, if things go well, it could be good, right?

Thinking about the latter, you give in. You didn't want to blow up your chance so you move a little bit to the side to give Daniel the space to enter. When he passes in front of you, you catches a whiff of his man's cologne, and oh you wish to bury your nose into his chest. He smells so manly good. You've only parted with him a few hours and you miss him already.

Daniel takes a few steps into the luxury hotel room as you close the door. Then, he stops in the middle running his hand at the back of his neck, perhaps thinking what should he do to you, what should he say first, because there are so much running in his head at the moment. From apologising, to explaining about the situation, to telling you what he'd been feeling this whole time, to his plans.

When he turns around and see your lips turning upside down, the words "I'm sorry" automatically comes out from his mouth.

"It's okay, Daniel. I get it." You nod your head. "I no longer have any use now that you have the paddock's attention."

Daniel must make a good actor because when he raises his eyebrows at you, you genuinely thought he was confused.

He scoffs. "What are you talking about?"

"Isn't that what you're doing? Using me all this time?" You start to bawl. "You coaching Adam. You making a 'debut.' You were only using me to get your position in the F1 world back. Now that you get what you want, nothing else matters to you. You got your friends back now. I no longer have any use."

"Who said that to you?"

You shrug. "I just know."

"Zara, I'm not using you."

"Don't, Daniel." You put up a finger. "You've apologised. You can leave now."

"No, I won't leave until you understand me."

"Understand what?"

"That I'm not using you. I will never use you in that way. And I will never neglect you," Daniel explains. "I haven't seen my friends for a year, Zara, you know that. And I wanted to introduce you to them. You've been a part of my life now. You're already involved in my life. But when I turned around and you weren't there."

"Tell me what I should do when the person you came with turns his back on you," you almost yell.

"So now you admit that you're jealous I put my attention on my friends instead of you?" Daniel mischievously smirks.

"Leave." You try to keep your face straight even though you know Daniel could probably see how red your face is.

Daniel's face drops and sighs. "Honestly, Zara, I don't know what else I should say to make you believe me."

"Then don't. I may not believe you anymore."

Something ignites a fire in Daniel's heart. "What if I accuse for using me to coach Adam for your writing project? How would you feel about that?"

"Are you manipulating me, Daniel? Are you saying that I'm using you now?" You gasp. "Oh my god, this is a mistake. I knew, this is a mistake."

"No, Zara, listen to me. I don't know where that idea of me using you came from but I swear to god, I never used you. Not even once. Ah, well, except that I use you for my motivation."

Mind too blur to comprehend what Daniel was saying, you continue, "Then why did you agree to become Adam's coach? Is it to prove to people that you were not to blame? That you are just the victim? So you used me and Adam to clear your name?"

"No!" Daniel takes a step closer to you. His heart shatters when you take a step back. "Honestly, Zara, I took up that offer because I was already in love with you.

"In–In love with me?"

Daniel nods his head. "Yes! I've been in love with you since you picked up that fork in the restaurant and knew not to mention about it again! Since then, everything about you is just so perfect to me. You helped me with my illness. You motivated me in so many ways. You let me hang out at your house. You put your guard so high but the way you cared for me..."

Daniel shakes his head and sighs. "I don't know how should I live without you now, Zara. You struggled with the lost of your fiancé yet you still always try to make people around you happy. Me, Adam, Lila, Sarah. How? I don't know you do it, but I'm beginning to love it. Love that about you.

"And you finding a faith in me when I can't do shit? You believed in me. That's why I took up your offer. That's why I agreed to coaching Adam. Maybe at first I thought it's a stepping stone, but now... Honestly, if Adam's academy found out he's having a private training, I won't back out because I can't. Your own presence means so much to me."

You blink. "You... You're in love with me?"

"I believe that's way I said." Daniel chuckles shyly. "You're brave, and kind, and a sight for sore eye. But then you said you wanted to make the relationship professional–"

"Kiss me."

Daniel blinks. He doesn't believe he's hearing it right.

"That's right, Daniel, Kiss me."

This time, Daniel smiles. He steps closer towards, testing the water at first. When he sees that you're not flinching, his heart grows. When he's right in front of you, he doesn't hesitate and slams his lips onto yours.

The kiss turns out to be the hottest make-out session, then turns out to be best sex you've ever had in your life. Daniel was so gentle and always makes sure you're comfortable before he starts doing anything to you. Despite the trembling hands, Daniel manages to control his movement. At the end, when you feel him twitches inside of you, both of you are screaming each other's name.

That now leads to both of you laying having a pillow talk.

"See, I told you I will never use you in that way."

You chuckle, understood what he was referring to. "Now I know. But I couldn't help it. It did look as if you were using me. You literally forgot about me as soon as you met Verstappen and your other old friends. And that meet with A? Did you forget? You let go of my hand as soon as we're far enough from him."

"One thing I regret most," Daniel replies. "I should've just held your hands and never let you go. People already know about my 'mystery woman' so why not live up to it, right."

"Yeah, right."

"And I'm going to tell you." Daniel shifts, puts his body weight on his left arm to face you. His right hand playing with your hair. "I'm sorry, okay. I'm sorry I made you feel as if I'm using you. I swear to god, I am not. I was just nervous and I should've warned you about me and Max. We can be in our own world sometimes. But trust me when I say, Max is a good guy. If it weren't because of him who pushed me to look for you, I wouldn't be here right now."

"Really?"

"I was a coward," Daniel continues. "I'm sorry I am nothing but that. I got into an accident; I fell apart; I found you. I didn't know what I was doing, but everything gets perfect since then I found you. The night when you came to help me clean my house? I see us together doing the same in the future."

"Wasn't that too soon?"

"My mind thinks not," Daniel answers. "And my body just wants you. Everything with you but how do I know you want the same thing with me? I have trembling hands. I cannot do shit."

"Daniel." You grab Daniel's hand and link his fingers with yours and kiss his upper hand. "I held your hands while you're meeting the person who caused you these!" You grip Daniel's hands as if to prove him a point.

Daniel chuckles. "I realise that now."

"Daniel, this isn't a matter for you to laugh at," you say. "You helped me forget about Luke."

Daniel's heart makes a flip hearing your late fiancé's name. He's not a man with his ego even though the other man is six feet under. "I'm sorry for your lost, Zara. From the way you talk about him, I know he was a good man."

You shrug. Your voice sad when you say, "It's three years ago."

"And I'm glad you moved on, but you can remember him because I know for sure, if he's still here and if you're about to choose between me and him, I know I lose."

That makes you laugh.

"Zara..." Daniel's nose is on your neck again. Once of his trembling hands cupping your cheek. His thumb caressing your lower lip. "I love you. I can't give you the perfect minimalist bungalow; I can't drive for you; I can't give you the perfect life; but I can promise you are going to have fun if you forgive me and give us a chance."

You catch a breath when you feel his teeth nibbling the soft skin in between your neck and your shoulder. His hand has wandered across your naked body under the covers. "Daniel, I've always had a crush on you. Since I was introduced to F1."

"Really?" You can feel his eyebrows raised against your skin. "Since when, may I know exactly?"

"Forever?"

Daniel grins. "Forever?"

"Yeap." You giggle back at him. "Now, are you going to tease me more or are you going to give it to me again?"

"Let me give you all the things you deserved." Your stomach catches butterflies with his sweet nothings.

When your lips and his lips reconnect, you feel like there's nothing more amazing that the taste of his mouth. And watching Formula 1 race live from the VIP room might not be the best of the best moment in your life anymore.

It's falling in love with its pilot and let him drive you crazy.