(Part 13)

He knew. I was pretty sure he knew my secret. It would only explain why he was acting so distant, so afraid to stay by my side. My nightmare had only just begun, and I hadn't even told him about my pregnancy yet. This wasn't fair, I wasn't supposed to lose him even before I told him about the pregnancy.

Nothing was fair in life; I had now come to realise.

Ever since that day, he had never been able to stay by my side for long, never been able to look me honestly in the eye. Had he already found another woman that he loved, another woman that wasn't carrying his child in her belly? Was he tired of coming back to me, to look at this woman who was about to be dumped and end up as a single mother?

Sasha did her best to reassure me, that Vergil was just confused, but she wasn't the one in my situation. She wasn't the one who had to fear about her lover finding out about the unwanted pregnancy. I had wanted to insist for abortion, but I was, in all sense, a total coward. I don't know what kind of a human I'm supposed to be.

I was afraid of the pain of abortion, afraid of causing my baby pain. And yet, I was so afraid of letting my baby grow as well, so afraid that Vergil would finally lose his temper at me for getting pregnant and leave me.

But at least the trip of the hospital had solve a major problem for me, because the doctors found out that human medication still worked on me -to an extent -to ease my sickness. To deal with my crazy high metabolism thanks to Lily's presence, the doctors had decided to jack up on the dosage of my medicine, which 'could easily kill a normal pregnant woman'. So far, I hadn't dropped dead with foam from my mouth, so I had to be thankful for that. Besides, even if I died now, would Vergil care or cry at my funeral?

I don't know how many days I tried to pray for our mother to come pay me a visit, to tell me what to do. I even prayed for Azazel's rude dispensing of advice, but none of them came. I was only left with Sasha for support, but I couldn't expect her to stay with me forever. When she worked, when Leon was out at school, Vergil always went out, citing the excuse of finding answers, to save Sparda. I suspected that he was searching for more than ways to save our father, but I couldn't ask him. I just didn't even know how to talk to him anymore.

I was almost close to blowing my mind out with worry and fear when I finally decided to heck things. I would keep the pregnancy a secret, pretend that I didn't know about it, and go save Sparda with Vergil. If I died in the process, then he wouldn't ever have to deal with an argument with me about keeping the child. If we were successful in saving Papa Sparda, then maybe it was a sign of fate to tell me to bitch up and tell Vergil about his child.

I was once more fully dressed in my sexiest image, feeling confident of myself and my decision, standing alone in the empty apartment, when the doorbell rang.

Wondering who it could be at this time, considering Vergil always returned late at night these days, and Leon shouldn't be back home until at least five hours later, I opened the door with curiosity. And met a pair of sick-looking guns pointed in my face.

"Bang, bang, my little bitch. You're busted, and now you've got to tell me everything that has happened in your life for the past five and a half years." She winked with a light-hearted wave of her guns, grinning at me in the sexy way only she could pull off.

I blinked a few times in shock, my mind going blank. She couldn't be... she was really...

The smell of leather confirmed the fact. She was here. In front of me.

I screamed, and tackled her.

____________________________________________________________________________________

"I've had demons fly into me before, but never a woman." My best friend in Limbo (sorry, Sasha) said minutes later, rubbing her sore nose where my forehead had smashed into when I tackled here. "Do give me a warning before you do that again."

"I can't believe that you're here! What are you doing here? Where were you? I tried to ask around for you, but it was like you disappeared from the surface of Limbo!" My mouth rattled off, but she only raised a hand to stop the flood of words.

"Slow down, girl. One word by one word." She warned, then grinned helplessly. "I was always in Limbo. Just not Limbo City. You must not have been asking the right people. But I did move away from Limbo City after you and Vergil left. Actually, I went to find a job with the kid Nero. He was having some troubles on his own with Fortuna, so he hired me as his partner with a steady income. I'm still his partner there. Fortuna's resident demon huntress." Trish explained, her tone going bland at the last sentence, as if she couldn't bear to be labelled as such.

I merely laughed aloud. No wonder I couldn't find her anywhere in Limbo City. "How is Nero and Kyrie doing?"

The face she made was best described as disgusted. "They're happily married, and rubbing it in my nose every day. I know Nero rescued Kyrie from certain death, but she disgusts me with her lady-like manners. How the hell do you be a wife to a demon hunter like that?"

"She was the gentlest thing I met." I recalled how Kyrie had been so polite and gentle in caring for Nero's health when I paid them a visit.

Trish's replying scoff was largely sarcastic. "More like 'fragile porcelain'. There's nothing that breaks faster than that woman."

"Then what are you doing here? Not that I'm unhappy about you being here, but why are you suddenly back in Limbo City? How did you find this place?" I asked. Limbo City was a pretty large-ass place, and up till now, I still wasn't sure which direction was Devil May Cry. Sasha's apartment was in the place of Limbo City that I didn't really know well.

"I was taking a break from the kid and distantly remembered that there was this guy in my past called Dante Sparda. Nero 'distantly forgot' him, as well, so I decided to come down here to take a look of how much he had decayed over the years we left him alone. Lo and Behold, I found a wasteland instead at Devil May Cry." Trish narrated, and I giggled. Trust my best friend to still be able to make digs at a man who was now officially missing from Limbo City.

"Vergil told me that it was in a state of terrible decay."

She nodded in agreement. "He wasn't lying. I gagged on the stench when I turned the corner of the street. And that was when I was two streets away from Devil May Cry. This, coming from a demon huntress who's been past demon goo and blood."

I decided quickly that I was better off not venturing a look (and smell of) at Devil May Cry.

"But how did that lead you here?"

"I was at the nearby bar, hoping to get a shot to wash off the smell of decay. Someone tapped me on my shoulder, and who should I turn around, but to see your very own Mr. Sparda. I apologise beforehand; I think broke a few ribs hugging him." Trish explained, and I could only imagine the irritated, highly annoyed expression that my lover must have given her. Only Trish could afford to make effortless insulting comments at Vergil, and my lover wouldn't rush to blow up at her, considering that she held the face of our mother.

"Did Vergil tell you about me?"

"We talked a little, and he told me he was looking for a way to save Sparda. I asked him about you, and he told me to find you."

I did my best to hide the beginnings of a frown. "Did he say anything else about me?"

Trish took a short while to think back. "He looked a little worried. He urged for me to talk to you. He said something about me being definitely able to cheer you up. Did you two have a fight recently?"

"I wouldn't even call it a fight." My high spirits was quickly crashing down once more, back to the low that I had been before I opened the door to meet Trish. "It's a long story."

"Well, I took a long leave from Nero." Trish shrugged. "I've got nothing but time. And I've brought beer. Nothing better than to talk over a couple cans."

I looked over at the plastic bags that she had set on the low table in front of us.

"Actually, I can't take any alcohol." I answered sheepishly. "It's not good for me."

Trish blinked in confusion, leaving one of the two cans back on the table. "Why? Five years earlier, you were downing Dante's beer at almost the same rate as me. Besides, you got Lily, don't you? You can't get drunk so easily."

"Getting drunk isn't the problem..."

"Then what?" Trish asked, popping the can and taking a slow drink by herself.

"Because... Um..."

"Come on, dear girl. This isn't the first day we've had a gossip session. Spit it out."

I did my best to escape her gaze.

"I'm pregnant."

The beer spilled.

____________________________________________________________________________________

"I want to say that I'm sorry for this," Trish spoke as she rubbed a cloth over the couch, wiping the away beer as best as she could, "But I can't. You can't just drop bombs on me like that, Leah."

"I know," I don't know why, but I turned out to be the apologetic one between the both of us when Trish was the one who had crushed the just-opened beer can in her hands upon my announcement. "But you were pressuring me. I didn't know what to say."

The beer had splashed on the both of us, and I had offered us a quick change of clothes before we got down to cleaning things up, all the while with me explaining how things had gotten so messed up. And then, like the poor weak-willed woman I was, I forgot my determination to leave things be as I explained about how Vergil and I fought about the topic of having kids. I ended up crying once more, and Trish and I had a short hug-it-out session where I found the embrace of my best friend once more.

There were little things that I would ever keep from Trish, and I could trust her to keep the secret from Vergil as well. At least, until I felt confident enough to tell him. Which probably wasn't anytime soon.

"At least give me some sort of warning..." Trish muttered, still rubbing the couch as best as she could. The beer stains were slowly becoming obvious, and I made my mind to apologise sincerely to Sasha about this. "So what are you going to do now?"

I sighed, sitting on a dry patch. "I don't know. I guess I just want to forget that this happened. Go down to Hell and save Sparda. If I die, then... Vergil never has to know about this. If we manage to come out of this alive, then it's a sign of fate telling me to just be brave. I'll tell him, and raise the kid even if he refuses to take responsibility."

My words were delivered with more confidence than I actually felt, and I think I looked the same way I felt, because Trish slowed her rubbing to a pause, her face one full of pity.

"You must know that even without Vergil, I'm with you the whole way. I've treated you like a sister since you first came, and now's no different. If that son of a bitch refuses to take responsibility of what he put inside you, I'll hunt him to the ends of the world and beat some sense into him."

I shook my head. I was a complete idiot; how I was still so stupid in love with the man who gave me a child, and told me that he hated them.

And it struck me in one single moment. We weren't even married.

"There's no point in forcing him to love. If he refuses to accept that he was part of this, then... I'll just have to find a way to move out of his life, and stay that way."

"The two of you have come so far. Isn't it such a waste to separate just because of a child? Do you really want your child to grow up without a father?"

"I can't help if Vergil doesn't want it." I sighed. "In the worst case scenario, I'll bring the child up until he or she is mature enough to take care of himself or herself, then send him or her to find Vergil."

Trish threw the rag on the couch, standing up in a determined movement.

"That's it. I'm not going to let that son of a bitch get away with this. I'm telling him."

"No, don't!" I cried, grabbing on to her arm before she could move any further away from me. There was no doubting the intentions of my best friend. She really wanted to go look for Vergil and tell him the truth. "I can't handle him leaving me now. I'll go crazy."

"But, my dear girl..."

"Don't..." I don't know why, but the strength just left me, and my legs turned jelly. I fell to my knees on the floor, my eyes stinging with the warm tears that were once more rising. No longer having any more strength to stop Trish. No longer having any more emotional strength to continue with my life. How I wished I never found out about it. How I wished I was never admitted into the hospital. How I wished the doctor never told me about my baby.

I don't know what else escaped my loose lips afterwards, but I knew I was blabbering like a crazy woman while the tears escaped. All the pent up stress wound their way out of me through my bawling and crying, and Trish was the unfortunate soul who had to bear witness to this embarrassing side of me. It took her a long time to calm me down, and it was a long while longer before I could finally stop sniffling and once more make rational sentences.

"I'm sorry...." I rubbed at my already red, puffy eyes. Vergil could be coming back anytime, and I wouldn't want him to know that I was crying again. "I didn't mean for that to happen. It just came out..."

"Don't be stupid." Trish held me lightly against her breast in the most motherly manner that I've ever seen from her. It reminded me instantly of the prayers I sent to Eva, asking her to come. Maybe Eva was busy, and she sent the closest thing to a source of comfort to me. "You're my sister. I won't let anything happen to you. But I need to talk to Vergil."

"You can't-" I rushed to warn her once more, but she had already gotten the gist.

"I know, I can't tell him about your pregnancy. But there are other things I need to talk to him about." Trish pulled me gently to my feet, helping me find my balance and strength once more. She cleaned up everything else, and smiled comfortingly at me. "I'll be back soon, Leah. But just in case I don't get to see you again, always remember that my place at Fortuna is always open for you and your future child."

I couldn't bear to say goodbye to her, but she was still a busy demon huntress, and so we finally parted at the door. Trish promised to keep my secret for me, gave me a very encouraging hug, and was off, back into her own life.

And then I was left alone once more.

In a life that I was no longer happy, excited or satisfied to be called Leah Katherine Cartlier, Vergil's lover.