Dear journal,

     Eliza doesn't believe me. She doesn't believe that I'm staying. She's grieving over something that hasn't happened. I thought I was supposed to understand women, but this is just confusing.

     I can't take this. She has told me what's happening. I can't stand it. I can't bear to keep this to myself, but she won't let me speak of it. I simply cant form the words. All I do is smile and try to warn my sister with my eyes. I can't even write the words.

     I think Liza just thinks I'm hiding something. She doesn't realize the words won't form. I can't warn her. She can't prepare. This is horrible. I can't even save one person. Eliza needs me and I can't do anything. Oh God.

     It's Christmas

     . . . Why can't I stop making my loved ones suffer for one holiday?

-Nyo!Hungary