Warning this chapter mentions verbal abuse and drug use.

Pedro

***

When I wake up the following morning and I look over, seeing Ana lying there, sleeping like a baby and looking like an angel, I'm struck by the fact that she's actually here. I'm not dreaming this.

How often have I dreamt this only to wake up to discover it was just that: a dream. But this time, this time it's real. I want to gather Ana in my arms and just hold her. I won't. She's exhausted and last night was pretty intense and crazy.

I need to use the bathroom so I try to be as quiet as possible. That works until I return to the bedroom, accidentally stubbing my big toe on the edge of the dresser.

"Shit!" I hiss, hopping around. The pain is intense and I end up crashing into the wall, knocking my elbow on that. Ana stirs, rolling over and lifts her head, staring bleary eyed at me.

"What are you doing? Besides disturbing my beauty rest?" I grin sheepishly at her, while rubbing my elbow.

"Sorry." I limp over to the bed and carefully climb back inside, sliding close to Ana and gently curling my hand around her bare waist. She ignores me, closing her eyes and pretending to go back to sleep.

"Do you do that shit every morning?" Ana asks. "Or was that something special you saved for me?"

I lean over, resting my chin on her shoulder and she smiles without opening her eyes. She stretches out her hand, searching for mine. I smile and take her hand.

She's here. My beautiful Ana is lying right here, beside me. It's not a dream.

"Don't you know?" I tease. "I always do that shit. But I added something special this morning just for you."

Ana chuckles, rolling over and pressing into me. Our hot bare skin sticks together and I kiss her. I trail a finger across her smooth cheek. Ana is watching me. Is she thinking about what I asked her last night?

"Pedro?"

"Yes, Hermosa?" Ana pulls back, a confused and uncertain look arranging her features. My stomach drops. She is remembering what I asked her last night.

Shit.

"Ana, we don't have to decide anything now. I shouldn't have pressured you last night. We can take things a day at a time."

Ana nods, but she's not meeting my gaze. She climbs out of the bed, padding towards the bathroom and goes inside, closing the door. I hear vague ruslings inside as I lie on my back.

Strike three, Pascal. You're out.

***

Ana decides to stick around for a few hours afterwards, which surprises me. Especially since it went from sexy and seductive to awkward and weird within a matter of seconds. Ana whips up some cheesy omelets while I help (putting the bread in the toaster!) and get some coffee brewing.

We putter around my tiny kitchen, crashing into each other and then laughing as we each gather what we need to make breakfast. Everything is so natural, it's like no time has passed.

Once the food is done, we decide to put everything on trays and return to the bedroom and bed, eating side by side and just enjoying each other's company. I feed Ana a bite of my toast and she eagerly eats it, gently sucking on my fingers. I squirm, aroused.

"Oops!" Ana smiles wickedly as she grabs her coffee mug and takes a long drink.

"You're too sexy for your own good, chica." I drop my voice and Ana's eyes lower. She refuses to meet my gaze. I touch her chin with my fingers and she looks at me.

"Don't ruin it, Pedro." There's that nasty sharpness returning and I frown.

"Oscar told me about...your ex," I admit and immediately Ana's on the defense.

"Did he? Wow. And here I thought I could trust him."

"He only told me because I asked," I add quickly. "I wanted to know why you were so...guarded against me. You weren't like that before."

"So?"

"So what happened?" I ask. Ana is looking everywhere but at me. It's killing me seeing Ana this way, frightened and ashamed.

"Shit happened," Ana snaps. "That's all you need to know. I don't like discussing it anymore than I have to."

"Not even with..me?" I prod gently. "The man you nearly married?"

"That's right. Not even with you." Ana climbs out of the bed, collecting her dishes and marching into the kitchen. I grab my stuff and follow her. She's angrily slamming shit around.

"Easy," I say. "You don't have to take your anger out on my dishes." Ana's hands go still. She's shaking again. I want to hold her against me until she calms down.

"I'm sorry." Ana heads back into the bedroom and a few minutes later, she's dressed and carrying her purse and phone. "I need to go. Thanks for dinner, breakfast and a lovely evening."

She comes to me, gently kissing me goodbye. I smile softly as she steps back.

"Of course, mi amor. I'm pleased you came. We'll be in touch?"

"Yeah." Ana hurries out, waving one more time to me as she slips out and I blow her a kiss. Damn. I certainly hadn't expected that. But I guess I'll take what I can get.

****

I feel at loose ends after Ana has left. I keep wandering aimlessly around my apartment, feeling out of sorts and there's this strange ache deep inside me that won't leave me alone. I want Ana to come back. I want her in my arms.

There's a knock at the door and I practically trip over my own feet, in a rush to answer it, hoping that it's Ana.

Too late I realize I should have checked first. I open the door and come face to face with Sasha. Shit.

"What are you doing here?" I ask in a cold tone. Sasha pouts but I'm not having that. She's not Ana and I don't want her anymore. I shouldn't have ever become involved with her. I only did it because I was lonely and missing Ana.

"Pedro, please. I really want us to get back together."

"No." I move to close the door. Sasha's arm shoots out, preventing me from shutting the door and wiggles herself inside. I sigh, turning away. I lack the mental energy to deal with this shit.

"Pedro, we were the power couple," Sasha is rambling. "Everyone envied us. We had it all."

Wrong. You had it all. I just along for the crazy ass ride, you stupid bitch.

"Sasha, get the hell outta your fantasy world. We weren't anything together. Only in your sick, twisted mind were we those things."

For a split second, Sasha looks ready to burst into tears. She quickly regroups, lashing out at me. I immediately tune her out.

"You think you're so damn important, Pedro Pascal! Just because you've gotten some "high profile roles!" Well I'll tell you something: your best years are behind you! You'll never get higher than you are right now! I could have helped you with that, but nooo, you think you better without me!"

Sasha does burst into tears then but she also rushes out of the apartment, which suits me just fine. I go into the bedroom and sit down on the edge of the bed, lifting the pillow that Ana slept on.

I close my eyes, just inhaling her scent. God. It's like she's right here beside me. I move, stretching out on my bed and close my eyes. Before I realize it, tears are slipping down my cheeks, soaking the pillow I'm lying on. I don't care what Ana thinks about me. I just want her back.

For good.

***

Bella video chats with me later on. I see the alarm and concern on their face. They're trying to pretend I don't look like shit.

"Everything all right?" Bella asks quietly. I shake my head.

"No."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Do you remember me mentioning an ex girlfriend?"

"Ana Delgado," Bella immediately replies. Sharp kid. One of the many things I admire about them.

"Yeah. We...sorta hooked up last night and then, I screwed it up. Again."

"Oh, Pedro. I'm so sorry. Do you think she'll come back?" I shrug. With Ana, it's hard to say.

"Maybe. I don't know." I straighten up, eager to put this behind me while I chat with my Bellie. (That's my nickname I gave them when we worked together on The Last Of Us.)

"What have you been up to lately?" I ask brightly.

"Well I definitely have a new movie role lined up. Oh and has anyone contacted you about starting filming for The Last Of Us season two yet?"

"Not yet. But I think we'll be starting soon."

"We're gonna have so much fun working together on that."

"I know. I'm already looking forward to it."

"Maybe you and Ana will be back together by then and she can visit us on set?" Bella looks hopeful. I'm glad one of us is.

"I wouldn't get your hopes up for that," I joke. Bella laughs. It's fantastic seeing their face.

"Well I'll definitely keep my fingers crossed!" They say. I give Bella a thumbs up but deep down inside, I'm not feeling so confident.

***

A few years ago:

I stare at Sasha. She's actually brought damn drugs into my place. Cocaine, can you believe that? She's setting up a line, getting ready to snort it. Just looking at it causes my stomach to turn.

"How can you snort that shit?" I want to flush it down the toilet. If I'd known Sasha was into hard-core drugs, I'd never gotten into a relationship with her.

"Pedro, dude, you have to try this! It gives you such a rush!"

"I want you out. Now." Sasha looks shocked. Or maybe that's just from her snorting that nasty cocaine.

"Are you being serious right now?"

"Does it look like I'm kidding?" I grab the baggie of cocaine and hurry to flush it down the toilet. Sasha comes to stand in the doorway, looking pissed.

"Do you have any idea how much that shit cost me?" Sasha glares at me before turning around and heading for the living room to collect her shit and leaves.

I feel a wave of relief. I'm happy she left without putting up a fight. I go wash my hands and then decide to go crawl into bed. Suddenly I'm dead tired.

***

My phone is trilling and I can't find it. I grab my tablet and see who's calling.

Ana.

I immediately answer on my tablet, my heart pounding so damn hard, I'm afraid it'll break my ribcage.

"Ana, is everything okay?"

"Yeah." Ana sounds like she's been crying and I just want to hold her.

"Are you home?" My heart leaps with hope. She wants to come back!

"Yeah. Are you...you coming over?"

"Oh, Pedro. I know I messed up. I just need you."

"I need you as well," I whisper.

"I'm doing a modeling job right now but as soon as I'm finished, I'll come."

"Perfect. I'll look forward to seeing you."

As we end the call, I'm trying to decide register my mood. Don't get me wrong; I want Ana more than anything. In truth, however, I don't know if we'll ever make things work between us again.