Suddenly everybody have acquired a sweet tongue towards me,surprisingly Mehreen is unnoticed. I feel a little hesitant to accept this love cause now happiness seems a bit daunting.

Burhan tries to cheer me up all day and Anya is always there.

My mum have also softened and now I'm going home with her after a week.

"I'll be back soon" I kissed Burhan.

"Don't go!" he whines.

"I have to,please!" I chuckle as hugs me from behind.

Mehreen is also leaving so I'm happy and stress free.

I entered in the car and he handed me something before we took the road. A paper boat. I smiled.

I felt the air refreshingly different. I smelled the sweetness in the supreme aura of the green flieds and sunlight kissed my cheek as we drove back home.

I never imagined to return home few days back but now I! Here and happy!

I rested for a week,me and Burhan cannot keep away from the phone. I met with Ameena and we had a lot to talk about.

But I still had few secrets,that I dared reveal. I was the safest to keep them within and my tongue only spoke of pleasure and disdainful arrogance was gossiped at the sides.

I went with Ameena to a event. We were joyous and Ameena was pregnant so there was a lot of baby shopping. When she placed the little socks over tiny shoes and adored a small T-shirt on a casual jeans, I grew sad. I killed my baby. I shook my thoughts and smiled to her. It was for the best I reminded myself. She bought a lot of stuff,occasionally I was missing the spark as my guilt tortured me. Slowly and softly these words thrilled me.
I killed the child in me.

The sin was growing on me,I was irksomely avoiding her shopping trips now. I relaxed at home and the leisure of my books. Mum wasn't the same but she pitied me at times. It more than I could ask for. Masirah and tufayl didn't grew anything apart,they stayed the same. Sara comforted me at times and corrected my mum's mood if she ever thought about the bad days.

"Burhan let's not talk about your tears okay" I teased him on the phone,the sun shining on my face.

"Good lord you're not getting a single kiss from me,I have been waiting for nearly three hours for your reply!" He hissed.

"Burhan I was out with Ameena,she forced me for this movie"

"You watch movies,oh how do you watch movies? You already have stored enough drama from the books to go and see movies from the theater. Also I fear for the crowd there,tsunamis at the movie venue, Astagfiruallah homicide is a crime!"he stated.

I laughed. "It was a comedy movie"

"Oh then too you have a peculiar laugh when you're happy,that too is dangerous in public"

"Aah! You are such a tease,aren't you!"

"Oh yes I am,talking about that laugh,oh it stops my heart Mahnoor! Spare them a heart failure;only laugh to me"

I smiled, "such a flirt"

"If phone's could receive sense receptors, yours would blast. My feelings are dangerous right now"

"Ooh you're getting too good at pickup lines"

"Oh I'm getting good at a lot of things! Pity you ain't here"

"In that case I hope to see you soon,myself have learned some--" I stopped as Masirah laughed behind me. Tufayl from my right bursted out laughing.
I blushed! Embarrassed I hung up!

I smashed the pillows over them but they kept making fun of me. Oh lord!

The next day I went to Sara's house. Usually they are very happy to see me but now when they look at me,it's a complete different vision,a judgemental one. What's wrong? I felt awkward sitting there. Their faces were shocked and somewhat directed unpleasantness. We left from there by noon. I took my phone and called Burhan to switch my mood. He didn't pick for a few times.

Now I had myself to amuse with the kids. Then again I looked over at myself. Our neighbors talk and gossip about me. People look at me differently. I've become a new target of high for them. They take pleasure in taunting my mum of how she always talked about other girls and now how worse than those am I. It hurts too much sometimes and some days it does not.

I called Burhan again,my only medicine to any wound. He answered this time.

"Mahnoor I'm With Aabid,I'll talk to you later" he said in a hurry.

"Is Mehreen back home?" I asked almost slipping a stair.

"Yes" he said and hung up.

And now it's night time,the moon isn't in the sky and my psyche rambles. What if he gets involved with Mehreen? I kept tapping my phone to my lips. Thinking useless nightmare with open eyes.

What if he....he falls in love with her?

Something definitely is with the moon and me. I called a hundred times but he didn't attend. I there phone angrily at the floor,it broke!

I furiously threw the pillows and the table lamp on the bathroom door! What is wrong with him!

At 1 am in the night when all were asleep,my broken phone's ringtone woke sleeping Masirah. I didn't pick up. The phone rang again and again. I didn't pick up. I sat folding my hands at the side not looking at it. Masirah at last picked it and handed it to me. I threw it out of the window.

Made love to her! Now has he got time to talk! Like am his side chick! Pathetic!

After Fajr only did sleep fell upon me and I woke at 8am.
I ran to the lawn,my phone wasn't there.

"Who picked up my phone from there?" I grumpily questioned.

"Someone might have taken it early morning, it's not there since Fajr"  Masirah stated.

"They are not coming to see Masirah because you married a Married man,that too your own sister's!" Mum stated in anger as he made all kinds of loud noises of the utensils while cooking.

"Great" Masirah winked at me.

But I was sad,I was scared. When will this be forgotten? I don't want my baby sister to suffer.

"I hope somebody marries me,I don't wanna die without being married atleast once" Tufayl grunted.

I got busy searching for my phone again. It was gone!

I took Masirah's phone and called Burhan.

"He's sleeping" mehreen stated rudely.

What does she pick his calls...

Wait....it's eight in the morning, Burhan doesn't sleep that long. What were doing at night? No! I hate this man! I handed the phone to Masirah.

"Mum where's brother Zahid?" I enquired hurriedly.

"He's not going to take you there,we've been enough insulted!" She spoke not looking over and so casually to my feisty sentiments.

"Who's going to take me then?" I asked twisting my hair in a bun.

"Run away like you did earlier, why do you care to ask now!" Mum said in anger.

"Fine!" I stormed to my room.

Masirah tried to convince me to wait but I knew mum was extra mad at me today for Masirah's situation and Zahid would never take me. However I needed to leave.

"You can go in a week with Mrs.Amirah if she agrees to accompany you" Mum said I went down ready to leave.

"In a week! I can't! I am leaving! Don't tell Baba I went alone!" I said wearing my heels.

"What kind of madness have possessed you Noor! What has gotten into you! You cannot just go away. Wait for a week"
Mum scolded me but I was far too reckless.

I took a cab and when I sat the other door opened and Tufayl sat inside.

They still love me.

Tufayl just left me at the station and returned home. I took a cab till the house. Aunt saw me and called brother Bareek.

"Take her bags to the guest room" she said to him.

I do not want my bags to be taken to the guest room,yet again.

"Where's Burhan?" I asked.

"Office" she relied and left.

I bored myself in the guest room. I hate this room. I want Burhan's room but seems like it's taken. This room is so separate from the rest of the rooms. I called for Anya she came in,she's the only one who smiles at me here.

I was hungry. I played with her for an hour and now she went back to her mom.

I'm still hungry. I walked to the kitchen. Mehreen and Enaya are engrossed in the kitchen,they look happy, they're talking to each other and helping out. This should be me.

Extra,I feel like an extra. Something uselessly added ingredient. They look at me like I spoil their life.

I felt bitter of Mehreen's happiness. I walked to my room again no more hungry.

I waited for Burhan,it was 9:30pm.

He came by 8pm,I heard his voice.

Now tears filled in my eyes. I feel lonely. Nobody cares about me.

Burhan entered my room at about 10:30pm.

"Why bother?" I said crying.

"No no no! Mahnoor don't cry! I didn't even knew you came! Anya just told me! Nobody else informed me!" He said taking my hand.

"I hate you Burhan" I said shifting aback.

"I'm sorry Mahnoor! I didn't knew!"

"Why didn't you call me! Why didn't answer my calls?!!" I hissed.

"I was sick, I called you back multiple times last night but didn't answer and I've been calling you since morning!"

"Don't lie!" I moved away.

"Why would I lie Mahnoor! I don't lie!" He held me.

I hate him and I love him and I hate that!

I wasn't convinced but I knew I had to move on. Much greater things were in store. Days passed and months passed.

I was made realize that I was irrelevant. I wasn't needed. I felt like I was rather thruster upon them. Burhan and his love would only convince me for few hours in his existence but other times I felt sad rather lonely.

Gradually Aunt started to talk to me and Uncle gave me notice. I was getting a little attach in the kitchen with Enaya and everything was improving but it was rather too slow to be called progress.

I was still the rock on the land and Mehreen was the sun on the sky,lighting up in the universe. I felt small to her. I compared her life to mine,I was far far behind.

Was trying to be content but with that little none could content. It was the ultimate curse of discontent to me. I was always less and she was always more.

I was treated as a lower than level class Lady at parties. I was gossiped about behind every back wherever I went. Mehreen was the heroine and I became the vicious vamp. At weddings they would pin point me as a second wife and how I married my own sister's husband behind her back. My story was popular amongst all with my introduction as a complete villain who stole own sister's husband. A home wrecker, a husband snatcher. What was mine was said to be hers. How could I be happy? How could I be content?

I was labelled as second wife of an honorable man who's character I ruined.

I was dying inside and nobody could understand. Not even one. Burhan as he was,couldn't be stopped from being fair. The particular day I lost it all was 4months after when he said "I don't know Meher has kept it"

It was a simple statement. What wrong can it be? But all was wrong....he never called me Noor again because once I hadn't let him,now he called Mehreen Meher and nobody calls her Meher.

Call me stupid but for me  these things matter,they things tell me that a person loves another.

I did another mistake I started stalking him. I saw him once making out with her. I didn't knew that I loved Burhan the same thence. I didn't knew why ......and I don't want to know.

It felt weird that me and Mehreen never talked. In each other's company alone our mouths have sealed. She just hated me,well I myself disliked her. When I sit alone and rewind my thoughts,I feel really lost. Mehreen was never this girl I now see,she loved me,I could see it in her eyes and now she's so distant,so hateful. Then even I myself am not the same. We all have changed.

I don't permit myself to think about Aabish,I've come to terms with that till now. I shouldn't have outed his secret,I was never the kind to reveal somebody's trusted secret. Like I said I am not the same.

I do not have the guts to see him,confront his face. Mehreen told me so angrily one day 'you've spoiled my entire life! No,you've have ruined my whole family's life!'

I easily caught the reference. She meant I ruined Aabish. The worst was this. I loved him so much and he loved me too. I wonder now how will I ever repent this,forget about it?

Since the rest of the family are treating more like a human now,Mehreen doesn't even bear me standing aside. She's their favorite. Especially Aunt's.

Burhan as he is,spends three nights with her and four with me. I wish I could use the power of all my vocabulary to put this pain in words but I'm far incapable to reveal this feeling when he sleeps with her,in her bed,in the same house under the same roof.

Now I some days crave his physical being,his emotional love and his warmth. I get irritated that when I want him he can't be with me. I crave him intensely and when he tries to be with me but it's just not one of my day,he leaves me hanging. This physical attraction is fatal and it kills me! Now I understand why Aabish said physical attributes are the hardest to let go.

"I would move out in another house and then I will be completely happy,I genuinely feel so' I heard Mehreen talking to Mawra on the phone  mentioning the offer Burhan once suggested.

He wanted to shift with me to another house,why would I? I can't do it to complete the scenario and become the cliché of second wife everybody wants me to be. As for him moving out with Mehreen that can't happen too because away from my sight I don't trust either of them. Here at least I know what level the sea has risen to,away from me,she would wrap him all to herself. I know Burhan and how he sees no more behind a shown picture. He's foolish to be most. She smiles weaving up the dreams but that's not happening.

I looked at my right,the full moon covered in fog,with it's dull elegance and fading existing. I am the moon.

Nobody notices this moon for they sleep so early here,they never peek from their closed windows nor do they rest their peace into it's light,they all await the morning.

Morning with the sun,the brightest and beaming sun. And mehreen is the sun. Her aura is preferred here. They would open windows and appease the light.

I've found the very reason and an understandable connection between the meaning of our names; She has become the light of the day and I have become the gloom of the night.

It's time that they know that together we can't exist......