[A\N: There are probably a lot of mistakes and grammatical errors In the chapters because I have not edited any. But soon I will and I would inform when it's done,so please bear with me till then,thank you for reading and please please vote and share]

{Author's Note: The coming chapters would have incidences which can be offensive to one's beliefs or rights ,I in no way intend to offend or hurt anybody's personal opinion nor do I in any way identify or support the written situations or beliefs,they truly are a fictionalized emotion and act of the character. I only want to resemble different situations in a realistic manner. Please don't hate me}

So now with the day coming to an end and the night approaching and with the night approaching into a breaking light,I felt nothing. I turned more mute,I would only answer when asked and would leave the room if more than two people gathered. It was a wedding home,I was helpless. I had only laid off the whole time now and everybody was talking about me.

I was this girl,who had guarded herself very carefully, who would present her best parts for events so that nobody could see the things see never wanted them to know but now they know everything I don't want them to know.

Mawra is roughly dodging me,I know she has every right to skip me. Now everyone was getting ready to leave for the reception. Burhan's reception was going to be two grand events,one at his place with all his dad's business and family friends. The second was to be at Firdous. Aafiah came to see me,take me to his reception. I had to,I had to...put a smile. "Wouldn't I love to go? But I want to stay with Aunt,please. I don't think I can take a long drive in this health"

Now with my building strength and numbness I accepted the reality,that all was lost so if I had to protect the little left reputation of me,I had to smile.

That day I convinced half with my smile that I was okay. And I erased the tag of suspicion from their minds and looked rather more happy than any in the house. However,I was brutal to my spirits who were heavily suffering in me.

I met Aabish but he was busy loading the gifts on the car so I just smiled and waved when he left. Now me and my Aunt only two people were left in this house which was chaotic for a moments back,now still and depressing.

Aunt didn't go,she said someone had to stay back and she'll anyways would attend the reception of Firdous. Rumours had it,Uncle had a quarrelsome exposure with Aunt. She had a lot to handle back here. I helped her. She was sad,I was sad. So good for us both,we didn't speak and felt no strange.

Everybody returned earlier than expected. Masirah too. I thought she wouldn't return but she said she didn't wanted to go a long way to Firdous,without us.

The following day. I tied my hair and slipped my Abaya unadorned. "You're gonna leave like that?" Masirah asked astonished. I just nodded. Stole everything....

I found no pleasure in nothing. I helped unattended. I talked rather slowly and mumbled half my words because everything I was doing was for the sake of just escaping a mere talk.

I was exhausted of this lifestyle. I walked at bus rather annoyed of myself and looked Aabish "Don't go in the car please" I said and entered. I scanned the seatings and on the left where nobody has occupied a place,I took a seat in the third last row.

The bus started,I saw Aabish catching it in the last moment. I sighed deeply.

An hour passed. Where is he? I need him.
I had called him thrice but once he didn't attended and twice was this boy busy.
I'm grumpily dashed my foot to the front seat. It was brother Sufian (Uncle Umar's Son), he was sleeping luckily.

I saw Mawra and Masirah calling me over but I smile and shook my head in a no. Aabish finally texted me back 'you're just bored,I am sniffing a bad armpit here'.

I leaned and saw his Dad sitting beside him with his hand over the seat's width,I laughed.

He came after a few minutes. "Want Aabish? Offer him the Window seat" he said."But this side is missing the head rest thing" I said in a lazy tone. "My shoulder are strong"he stated dusting his shoulder and blowing over.
I moved. Talk to me Aabish,this is all awful without you.

"Talk to me" I uttered.

"I hate dad so much, he and his committee should be closed down with a lock on their mouths-"

"Ah- Aabish,don't talk like that!" I hushed him.

"He ruined the wedding,he had only one thing to talk about the whole time to Mehreen,'oh you wasted the money on such an expensive dress we could rather have married Aabid with that saving', what crap! Like he had paid for it!" He ranted aloud kicking the front seat.

I pressed his arms, now in a softer  tone he continued. " Aabid didn't get married but he instead did contributed to all expenses of Mehreen's Wedding that my father's misery had accounted under 'unnecessary'. And Baba says that Aabid if he wants to marry,he have to bear half of his expenses of everything. Why? Isn't it a parental responsibility that comes with the license of parenthood when a child is born? I mean Aabid or anybody should help to their martial matters but nobody should help my dad."

"Poor Aabid" I sighed.

Brother Sufian rose from the front seat blinking his sleepy eyes "oh it's you two,I thought Bareek and Enaya have somehow landed in. Please go to the last row and spare me a good sleep"

Embarrassed, I moved with Aabish to the last seat,where the sides and front one row was empty. I was glad,the further the better.

"No head rest even here" I whined,

"My shoulders are strong" Aabish repeated.

We sat down. Hmmm I don't even want to go. Back in days I loved the thought of Firdous and now the journey is gripping me in the head. It hurts. The place I loved so much had turned into a nightmare,I sighed and said "Talk to me Aabish"

"You don't read books now?" He asked,

"Not really,they lie a lot" I said almost fighting the thought of Burhan away. "Talk Aabish"

"What about?" He sighed too.

"Why didn't you come to see me after the wedding?" I asked reminding myself that he was the only one to not inquire about my well being.

"Because I was busy crying the whole day for my sister who left,I love her so much. The next though I saw her smiling with Burhan and I was like 'what! I was crying for THIS woman!' Never should cry for girls who get married,these unfaithful creatures only want a man for themselves!" He said in a vex.

I laughed," cry for me though,I would be feel special"

"You are special" he said pulling my cheeks. " even though every girl in this car hates you for it! They're jealous they can't sit with us-- or rather say sit with Aabish" he boasted.

I smiled and nodded as he looked away,I stared in his grey eyes shining with amusement or some emotion I didn't knew? I do not know if I know Aabish or I do? He's too difficult to understand. To intimidating to stare at,he's different when you glance at him deeply,he looks intense.

"Aabish..." I finally broke the long silence. "When will we talk about Imran"

He just nodded,didn't turn to me and left me a "hmm" ,he didn't speak at all.

"Aabish" I whispered.

"Hmm" he replied.

"Why don't you want to talk about him?" I placed my perplexes emotions.

"What! I don't understand you Noor!" He rather played innocent.

"Why are you avoiding Imran?" I persistently asked.

"I'm not avoiding anyone, Noor! Okay,let's talk about him" he said now returning to me.

"Yes...tell me" I said and moved closer to him.

"He's handsome, isn't he?" He said raising his eyebrow.

"He was,he was handsome. He could easily pass as a model! I'm sure Ameena would have given a better reaction to his personality, she does it so much better!" I said cherishing the moments with Ameena in my head.

"Hmm" Aabish replied with his smiled now reduced.

"So...he is?" I asked hesitantly, I knew he wasn't comfortable talking about this but I was perhaps too curious to reach this side of him,he's tame of.

"He's a gentleman, we're friends" Aabish replied, it wasn't as easy to break words out of him but I thought we were too comfortable to talk anything at all.

"He looked like a perfect gentleman, he said you're no longer his best friend,Why?" I asked nervously with my eyes on my knotted fingers.

"He said that...hmm" he gulped.

I wished,I wished so badly that I could tell Burhan that I loved him but I didn't. Things might had changed,if not for better than at least I wouldn't have regretted this moment. I foolishly thought that if Imran had done the same mistake,I would tell Aabish; so that what had happened to me doesn't happen to him. I have lost all sense of logic,so even if it's stupid I want to do it.

"Aabish I think he loves you" I said boldly.

"What did he tell you! God Mahi! Aabish hotly stated as he pulled out his phone,I seized it before he could call him.

I'm so stupid! I shouldn't have done that.

"He didn't tell me anything! I swear! I'm just annoyed that you aren't talking to me about it" I said downheartedly.

"Oh noor!" He sighed.

"I won't judge you Aabish, you know I would never judge you" I uttered lastly leaning my head on his shoulder.

A long silence followed,he isn't looking at me,have I lost him?

"I know you won't judge me No or,I don't want you to judge him" he said.

I was again puzzled. I fixed my eyes on his as he turned and asked "I won't, tell me Aabish"

"It's a long story" he exclaimed.

"In that case,I have a lot of time" I relaxed.

"We met about six years ago,he came for this alumni association of my school,I was fifteen at that time and he was twenty--"

"No way!" Interrupted. "Oh well he does look like a Man though" I retreated myself again.

"We met there,we became friends over a dirty joke that I said and he'd not understand so I went all the way explaining it. We had no common strand in us,he was different I was just another geek at school with no friends, actually I had friends but they were of no interest to me so I keep invalidating them.
We met through and through,he was working as a humanitarian service head to anti-bully campaign. I had joined tat too,I had a crush on him since the beginning but that faded away when we became friends" he sighed and a pleasant smile  covered his face.

"Umm...tell me more" I said relaxing to the story of love, I forgot all about the vile things back.

"Three years back it came back,the feels. I started liking him again. Though he wasn't even funny I would laugh at him,he said things that made me feel like I was 'the one',like I was the 'only one'. I was frustrated, I wanted him to confess or me to confess. I would yell at him then apologies but he was a complete idiot. He never understood. When I lost hope,his actions grew more evident that he liked me now. So I was again disturbed. I had this habit of chewing my nails and my state was such that I chewed the tip of my finger,I had like an would over the tip" he laughed and I laughed with him.

"He caught the same habit and one day,we both fought over pizza,I said he didn't knew what pizza I wanted and between those stupid fights I would accuse his friendship but hidden thoughts and accusations wouldn't be about pizza but about love. We confessed,I did first and he did about a week later. We dated for 7 months and then we broke up" and he sighed deeply.

"Why did you break up?" I asked astonished.

"Because we couldn't, we mutually did it. It's alright Noor" he smiled.

"No..no...No! It isn't! Who did it first? Why did you do it?" Are you crazy?" I bolted.

"Noir do you know what's more worse than one sides love?" He asked.

"Nothing" I said confidently.

"I felt like a unrequited love for a year nearly,it was heart breaking and exhausting. But it cannot compare to the pain of being in love with someone and that same person being in love with and still not being able love them....it sucks" he was sad now. "I would've rather choose to live a life as an unrequited lover than to  know he loves me too and then realizing that this love that we have each other would only destroy us" he stated.

"I don't understand you at all,if B-- if supposedly if the one I loved would have been in love with me,I wouldn't care at all. About anything...!" I said instantly.

"I'm happy Noor, I know this the best we can do. I don't imply this the best thing for all but it was the best for us. I mean if you feel a certain different way,I don't reject it" he said calmly.

"You know what Aabish-- you are stupid! You should be have let him go,he loved you,you loved him! There are not many who get what they want! You wasted a blessed life you idiot!" I was enraged by his peaceful replies as Imran's face flashed across my mind.

"You are too sensitive Noor, he belonged to an extremely religious family,his father's a Mufti,his brother's have hopes on him. He has wonderful nieces and my father runs a religious committee; even though they are such extremist and a hateful group that it should be burned down; WE did not want this,because WE weren't comfortable in being each other's obstacle to a honorable life. I don't believe in fighting Noor and with family!? No...I don't know if we're the right one's or the wrong one's,we're okay in being the weak one's....I'm okay seeing him happy and settled in his new life and I know he would be happy when I'll be happy here. We had great relationship, we had a lot of memories and who the hell is going to stop me to love him anyways!! I would always....it doesn't matter to me if we stay or do not."

He completed his statements,I was completely shocked to hear all this! It makes no sense! What is he doing?

"What is wrong with you? Seriously Aabish, are you for real? That man loves you Aabishhhhh"
I said hotly now completely moving away from him. I would never leave Burhan if he would be in love with me.

"I know" he said smiling.

"WHY ARE YOU SMILING!!? HE WENT AWAY!" I said hitting my head on the front seat.

"Mahi,I'm bored now. You don't get it,when you love someone for real all that matters is that they are happy and respected and successful. He's married now and he'll become one of the best businessman, he'll have a cute handful of kids and probably return when I'll be the best pediatrician of this town. I'll make sure his kids would be healthy an--"

"He's married! You let him marry! God!! Either you're being too strong or you have turned demented" I spoke in surprise. I cannot even think out Burhan ever having kids,that would be awful.

"You are a very discontent soul Noor" he said looking away.

"You dated him,you loved him and you just let him go" I repeated it again to have him go through his nonsensical acts.

"I loved him so I had to let him go,one last time Noor; it best for us. He said so himself that perhaps this relationship was to only learn from each other that we did. I no more want to about this" He said in a frown.

"Nobody knew about this?" I asked recovering my anger of him.

"Mawra knew,she helped me sneak out at times. You know--" he said excitedly "we once I went to Ukraine. He took me there,oh Noor it's so beautiful out there--"

"How can you be happy talking-" before I could complete he made a face of frown  at me.

How unconvincing it is?!!

"I keep only happy memories not sad one's. So it makes me grateful of the times I had with him  than be bitter about his leave" he took my hand and smiled. God you are weird Aabish. Or strong....to strong to be true. If this is normal than what's wrong with me because I look at the moon and it makes me cry.

"Aabish, perhaps you are a man so you're strong attribute is to let go?" I said engrossed in the thought of how men so easily let go.

"No the strongest attribute is physical attraction,the hardest to let go" he replied and immediately regretted it,
Men after all.

He offered me a chocolates and a took a few.

"Imran gave those to me,aren't they tasty?" He asked.

"What kind of man are you?" I said in agitation "I'm irritated Aabish so if you don't cry anytime now I would,because it is suffocating me,trash like life you're living!"
I there the chocolates on him and folded my arms in anger,
He rather laughed at me.

"Do you want me to cry Noor? I can" he said somehow that would make me feel better,we could even cry together.

"Don't do that to yourself again! If you love someone,tell em' if they love you back just marry,okay! " I said restoring myself  at his shoulder.

"Aye aye caption" he laughed, "look Mawra".

"Why?" I asked

"Because she has a joke like face,it makes you instantly" he laughed. I laughed too.

"Mawra met a guy back at Firdous,his name was Felix,he was a flirt. She exchanged a few letters in the stupid air of old like love" Aabish told me in a slight frown.

Mawra had an affair with ....Felix?

"Soon his false act fell out in front of Mawra and she was a little heart broken, tinee-tiny bit"
He resumed. "Is she okay though?" I asked.

"Yes she's absolutely alright,a two week doesn't hurt that much! And with a guy named Felix,he's easier to forget" he said as I laughed.

So Burhan was in love with Mehreen? It was clear he got what he wanted.  The bus halted. I looked around and we were at Firdous. Thank you so much Aabish.

I stepped out and feared the welcoming aura of this place. The sight was no more pleasant but daunting to me.

"Aabish aren't you coming inside?" I asked.

"Mahi I've to get the bags out with Aabid. You head along I will see you shortly" he went away from sight.

I am so dependent on him right now,a while away from him seems like a long distance.