Days are passing slow and sore, I don't talk to anybody but Ameena. I couldn't gather the courage to accept or confess my insecurity about Fauzia,or rather I say I might be jealous.

I seldom am presenting myself anywhere to he exists. Though we have had formal conversation which holds nothing of any interest or rate merits us farther than brother-sister.

I had my day's talk with Ameena and isolated myself from all and escaped in the back lawn. At the stairs was Aabish alone sitting in complete solitude.

He saw me coming and patted at his side,I sat close and waited til he completed his conversation in phone.

"Hey... All alone?"
I asked once he kept aside his phone and stared at the sky.

"Hunn...um.. I'm not the only one though who's feeling off these days huh?" He said saving his sight from me.

I laughed choking at my throat with all these feelings coming up,I resisted and just plainly stared him and plastered a fake smile.

"Who were you talking to?" He asked in a whisper.

"Who were YOU talking to!?" I pressured.

"Best friend" he confidently answered.

"You won't have to accuse me of copying your answer if I said the same" I said looking into his grey speckled eyes.

"I trust you, what's her name?"

"Ameena,she the greatest human being ever"

"I am also a great human being if you remove my last name because all the evil in me comes from my last name"
He said,I laughed. He's funny but comfortable to talk.

I heard mum call my name and I stood up to leave.

"Mahnoor" he called my name. I looked at him and he smiled.

"It's alright, I you have a temporary vacancy for a best friend I'd like to apply"

I smiled back,I never knew we could get along. His savage compositions scared me of him. I never talked because I never wanted to be a target of his parodies,he is not that bad,not bad at all.

I left smiling all the way,this was needed more than I was yearning for.

The next day we finally are going to see that mysteriously hidden pond which were have been dying to visit since days,unfortunately whenever to plan a trip due to some reason we have to cancel it.

But today has convinced everybody.

I was in my room getting ready. Setting aside all the mess Masirah has made and waiting for a call of name from the hall.

"Do you read all these books?" Burhan's voice stopped my heart.

"Yes" I answered nervously.

"Novels, biopics, stories... Interesting. What fun to excite oneself in fancying herself as protagonist and living her life? Don't have yours?"he said with his eyebrows both exclaiming a remark so offending to me.

"Not all. In fact I find it amusing when people celebrate a victory and emotions of despair when they fail to reach a mark in a video game. The expression when the car crashes and proudly showing off medals they don't own, don't have guts to actually carry out tasks in reality?" I answered in a frown. He laughed.

"I'm glad you finally have returned to yourself. Shall we go then" he said and turned away from the room.

Sh*t! What did I just say!

I joined the bus,where I felt I was continuously smiled at.
It is making me conscious and nervous.

I sat with Mehreen where the third seat by Aabish was exchanged with Burhan.

I looked outside the window and dared looked at him. He seems to be enjoying himself way too much today. I hate him.

When we were at the pond,the exalting aura took our gloom away,nothing can be more alluring than this!
No man can be sad here,it a place of another light. A third world beauty and heavenly sight.

The serene blue water was shining and pebbles around were cuddling with soft green grass and the large trees endowed with colorful flowers covered the large mesmerizing pond with it's arms.

My eyes fell on Burhan standing beside the car unloading the bags and tent.

His dark copper hair and silver pale skin,his structured facial mass with his clenched jaw flexing under his light beard and above were his lips of cherry red,his strong nose and almond eyes with honey iris. His tall frame and muscles strong and lean. He is a man with an earthy tone wrapped to his flesh with broad shoulders and expanding poise and grace in his movements. He makes heart beat faster and eyes sparkle.

I shouldn't watch him,I walked a few steps away but couldn't help turn and admire him some more. Love is unstoppable. Is this love?

I feel the motions in my stomach move when I see him,are these what they call butterflies? I can't sleep in the night without his thoughts,is this love? What is love?

"Tufayl is taking selfies with the squirrel,I wonder what caption would he go for, 'with my twin'?" Masira joked around.

All the girls sat at one side, Burhan was photographing everybody. Aside we had small tent set and at the pond side the breeze was getting colder with every passing minute. I loosened my scarf and inhaled the purity.

"I don't know anywhere more beautiful, I consider myself extremely lucky" Mehreen's gratefulness escaped in words.

It is true. "I want to fall love here" Masirah said,she shuffled out of her scarf and her hair were loose and danced with the wind. She stretched her arms and embraced herself "This place is so romantic"
I am falling in love here..I cannot let this secret out,it would be dangerous.

The sun went down and we had a bonfire arrangement. Brother Aabid played his guitar,we had never heard any of them play and sing before. They have excused all rules today, we had Brother Bareek sing for us too. Burhan only spared smiles and insisted that he could not play nor sing.

We had sandwiches as the last snacks and few pieces of cake left. I knew it was time to leave,the warmth this place had was so lovely,I don't want to leave,as a pure romantic I wished on visiting the lake side for one last time and sat in one corner taking deep breaths and enjoying this secret pleasure.

"Would you mind if I join?" Burhan said approaching near with a cup of coffee for me. I welcomed him with a smile. There's something about this place that has taken away all my nerves,like I am daring to love here,dying to be loved here.

"Do you remember we use to make paper boats, place them in the fountain and then race" he said as he pointed over Abraam and Anya doing the same at the pond side.

"Yes I remember, I use to end up crying whenever mine use to sink" I laughed playing those golden memories in my head,I looked at him and continues "you would offer me your boats all the time. Whenever yours would win you would lie that they were mine and the one's that had sunk were yours"

"But you could never be convinced,you would cry so much over paper boats" he kept looking at me smiling. We both sighed together and laughed.

"You hated books Mahnoor" he said with his face locked in confusion.

"You change when you grow up" I said.

"Why? Why do things have to change? It makes me mad though I might composed,I'm mad! Why have things changed!?"
This sudden irksomeness in his voice held me.

"Changes are only for better,everything has changed for good" I uttered half sure.

"I agree changes are good but only for better? I don't know. I mean you've stop crying over paper boats is good but you've stopped talking to me...is better?"

I had no answer of his question,no it isn't for better but stop talking to me like that,it makes me vague.

We both paused for a long time,as I said the air had me daring today.so finally my words took a voice."You've changed, you no more laugh,you no more talk as much with people. So stern,so solid. There is nothing on your face that tells me you are the same Burhan some days and then some days when I watch you alone I know you but never too confidently....Burhan,you comprehend me"

His lips pressed and brows shrieked. He looked away.

"Growing up is hard" he stated.

"Are you sad Burhan?"
I asked.

Sounds of steps distracted us,Mawra kept gesturing to come along while sipping her coffee off a mug from a straw.

We left. The whole journey I kept revising the words he said. Maybe he meant and a possibility was nothing. I didn't knew,he comprehends me.

The following day was chilly.
The house has been getting emptier by days as the male member have been leaving for their work duties. Their requirement in this house is dearly missed. The kids are missing their dads,Fauzia is also leaving today but she says she will return.

We were seeing her off as she turned to me after she met all," Didn't get to know you well this time until next time" she hugged me.

No problem I hate you.

"I'll be back soon" she waved her long lime of admirers.

Don't ever come back here again. Burhan placed her bags and escorted her till the main entrance. Why does he have to treat her so special I mean she's.... Stop Mahnoor,this is pointless.

=.=.=.=.=.

"Where are the kids?" I asked Safa.

"The kids either with Burhan or Aabish,they like nobody else's company better" she said laughing, Zara looked around and stated to Safa "they either would be plunging around Burhan's neck or playing with Aabish all types of crafts"

I kept looking for them,I am ideal and need some child's laughter to amuse me,I've been missing them so Much.

Back home they only play with me and now they have no time for me,all busy with these grown men. Jealous again? Ugh I hate myself.