Jungkook

A few days after the incident on the highway, I'm now mentally getting ready for the encounter with the person I want to see the least. Elaine is supportive of everything I do, no matter what my decision is, but after thinking about it for a long time, the best solution is probably to put an end to it all. I can no longer accept being followed everywhere by him and having everything I'm about to rebuild destroyed.

The only problem is that I don't know how to face him. Too many years have already passed that I have seen his face, heard his voice, and seen him standing in front of me. I can't help but want to hate him, but I can't even get that to happen. No matter how hard I try, I can't hate the person responsible for all those years full of heartache.

Because of that, I met Elaine.

Even though the last five years have passed like torture for me, I can't complain, because the last months with her have sealed and cleansed all my wounds like a soothing healing ointment. She is my cure, my life source and I can't and don't want to think about never having met her. I should be grateful for everything because through her I have been able to perceive the taste of true love and have found the meaning of life. After I met her, an inner peace came over me and I became a calmer person.

Except for all the actions and words with which I hurt her, of course. I still feel bad and guilty and am desperate to know what I can do to make her forgive me. She has already said she forgave me, but I don't deserve it so easily. The tears that fell from her beautiful eyes were because of me and it hurts me a lot.

But that is me. That was me. I have always stayed away when I was angry. Distance from the person I love and cherish made sure I was protecting that person from hurting them even more. I needed to sort out my thoughts, be alone a bit so I could vent my anger without completely destroying everything around me. However, I didn't really manage to do that. I hurt her despite wanting to protect her from me, and that's something I can't easily forgive myself for.

"Do you want me to make you a sandwich for the ride?" Elaine asks, coming out of the bathroom with a hot water bottle pressed to her stomach. "I know you'll get hungry."

"No, thanks. I'll just grab something on the way." I take her hand in mine and lead her to the bed, where I pull the covers over her legs. "Are you sure you're okay here alone?"

"It's just period cramps, Jungkook. I deal with it every month."

I swear to God, women are so strong. I don't know what I would do if my dick was bleeding every month.

"I know, but still," I say, indicating an alternative. "I can stay here and make you tea and—"

"Jungkook." she interrupts me, taking my face between her hands. "I know you don't want to go and you're making excuses right now. But we talked about this baby, hmm?"

I sigh. "I know I have to go. But I don't know if I'm ready to face him."

"I don't want to force you to go, and I offered to go with you, but you refused." she retorts and I immediately nod my head, the thought of her meeting my father sickening me. "You have to face him to find closure. To be happy."

I sigh again, realizing she's right. She's always right and the truth behind all her words nags at me. I have to face things, no matter how unwilling I am, and no matter how undeserving my father is. I have to do it for me. I have to do it for us.

"You know it sucks sometimes that you're always right," I chuckle and she rolls her eyes playfully. "We can't even have angry sex when I get back."

I jump up from the bed before she can hit me and she just throws the hot water bottle at me, which I dodge easily. I just wanted to lighten the mood and have something to laugh about because I know once I get to Busan, I won't have anything to laugh about. I don't know what to expect and I want to spend the last few hours I'm in a good mood teasing her because it's fun. I was a little serious about it, though.

"Go before I kick your ass." she laughs, recognizing the playfulness behind my words and, of course, the true emotions inside me. Her gaze softens as I look down at her expectantly, my lips pressed into a line. "It's going to be okay. I believe in you."

"Thank you. I'll be going now before it gets late." I take one last look at the clock, which shows 11 a.m. and walk back to the bed where I plant a lingering kiss on her lips. "Call me if you need anything. Or just Taehyung, it'll take him less than me to get here."

"Will do," she says, an encouraging smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "Drive carefully."

"I will." I smile and head down the stairs.

________________________

The inside of the car is quiet and only the slight sound of the engine along with some muffled noises from outside can be heard. Busan is not very far away, maybe a little over two hours drive, but I still don't feel like distracting myself with music. My mind is so loud and so full that I find it difficult to concentrate on the road. I'm nervous like I haven't been in a long time because I can't gauge what to expect in Busan.

I can't promise myself, even though I promised Elaine, not to pick a fight with my father. I'm so mad at him for everything he's done. I had gotten used to my new life, pushed a lot of things from the past into a dark corner deep inside me, but he managed to dig it all up again. There are many questions I want to clarify, but also so much I just want to scream in his face as forgotten emotions come flooding back to me.

The many nights I spent crying, the many nights I spent on the streets. He left me no choice but to leave my life behind. Just everything.

Driving into a familiar area of the city, I decide to turn onto a street I haven't been on in weeks. All the familiar houses reel past me as I approach my workshop at a slow speed. A thick yellow tape stretches from one end to the other, blocking people from trespassing. The police contacted me a long time ago and told me I could re-enter the workshop since the investigation was already complete, but I couldn't bring myself to see the condition. Maybe it will be easier for me now that I am a little more reassured with the thoughts of seeing everything again. Besides, I can still waste a little time before I have to face the truth.

Parking the car a good distance away at the side of the road, I get out and move with slow steps towards the workshop. The gate is open, but that doesn't bother me because everything inside has probably burned down anyway. Two windows are broken and black smoke marks outline the frame, fading upward. The gate is also damaged, presumably by the firefighters who tried to put out the fire.

The workshop is no longer what it used to be. It was my home, a place where I really felt at ease for the first time, met new people, and made memories and experiences. Despite the oil-smeared floor or the squeaky doorways, I always felt happy here.

Ducking my head, I cross to the other side under the yellow tapes and my feet glide over broken glass and other small bumps, probably coming from the workshop. The interior is like the mood. Cold, abandoned, ruined, dark. The fire had no mercy on the interior and everything that escaped the fire was thrown all over the room by the extinguishing water. It's a complete mess and I don't know if I have the strength to get it all back to the way it was. Not to mention if it can even be brought back.

If I hadn't spent the night at Elaine's the night of the fire, maybe this wouldn't have happened, because I know the arsonist was waiting for me to be absent. But who am I actually deceiving here? If it hadn't happened that day, it would have happened another day eventually. My father had found me and I had to pay for it.

Rage rises in me as I look through the workshop. It's not about the equipment or the furniture that's here, but more about the fact that he could consider turning everything to ashes just so I would come back. I can't let anything but anger burn in my eyes and I get the urge to destroy everything. How I wish Elaine was here now to comfort me, to calm me down with her smile and her eyes.

Taking the stairs up to the small studio apartment where I used to live, I open the door to my bedroom, and to my amazement, most of the furniture here is still in tact. The fire department probably came in time to save the last pieces that were spared. I open one of the dressers and take out the last memory I don't want to let die from the drawer. The picture shows me and Uncle Haeseong looking happily into the camera, his arm slung around my shoulder and mine around his.

He was the father figure I wanted my whole life, someone to teach me about life but still be like a friend to me. I always wanted someone I could look up to with the utmost respect and someone I could use as a role model. He was always there for me and had it not been for him, God knows where I would be now. Probably murdered in a corner rotting or in jail.

I shove the picture into the inner pocket of my leather jacket and, fed up with the painful sight, I get ready for the encounter with my father. Now that I've seen the workshop, I feel more confident and I know exactly what to say. I'm not going to let him get me down, and I'm certainly not going to let him boss me around. I'm not a puppet that he can steer around at will, and I'm going to make him repent for everything he did.

___________________________

Busan, my hometown, the place where I grew up. The city I left a long time ago. It's like I never left it, and yet everything seems so unfamiliar. I had locked away the memories of it, but now as I drive through the busy streets of the big city, I recognize a few spots where I often hung out with my friends.

I don't want to occupy my mind too long with memories from the past though because I won't be coming back here anyway. My home is now in another city, with the love of my life and that's how it will stay forever. So there's no room for the past in my mind and I decide to focus only on what's important.

The closer I get to the house, the more upset but at the same time nervous I get. I scold myself for the chaos of my emotions because I want to stay focused, but my thoughts keep wandering. People imagine scenes from encounters, but they always end up playing out differently than they want. I don't want that to happen. I want to remain determined and goal-oriented. My father won't see any weakness in my eyes.

It doesn't take me long to get to the familiar area of town with single-family mansions and expensive-looking cars. I drive a bit more until I find the house I left years ago but didn't miss a bit. I slowly drive up to the entrance of the large lattice gates that are closed and wonder if the passcode is still the same. The small hut that houses the guard is to my left as I'm now close enough for him to see me. And I'm right on target as the small window swings open.

"Mr.Jeon?" the guard asks in surprise, not expecting me after so many years. He's gotten a little older, but the big belly and white beard are still the same as he looks at me with big eyes.

"Beomseok." I greet, a small smile tugging at the corner of my mouth. I've always liked Beomseok the most out of all the other people. Despite the fact that we didn't see each other often, he was always in a good mood and at least treated me like a human being. He often helped me sneak out without anyone noticing.

"You've changed, Mr. Jeon. I almost didn't recognize you." he smiles sincerely as he looks at me more closely and I shake my head.

"Jungkook." I correct him and he smiles even wider. "Can you open the gate?"

"Oh, of course, excuse me." he fiddles with a few buttons and the gates slide open, allowing me to pass. I wave at him and slowly make my way up the path to the front door.

Like old times, the lawn is well-kept and various flowers decorate the sides of the path. Someone who doesn't know the residents of this house would think there is a happy family living here. A father who comes back from work every day, kissing his wife and playing soccer with his son, who has been waiting for his hero all day. How I would have wished for such a normal boring life, but you don't always get what you want, do you?

I leave the car parked in the driveway, next to two other cars and when I get out, the heavy air is already bursting in my lungs. I breathe in deeply, but the oxygen doesn't reach my brain and I feel like I'm suffocating. I'd like to get back in the car and take off before anyone here sees me, but I know for sure that Elaine will whip my ass if I run away like a coward now.

But it's not about me chickening out. I'm just not sure about what I'm capable of. I don't want to disappoint Elaine by being so short-tempered, and I certainly don't want to cause a scene that makes me look like the bad guy in the end. I know I'm better than my dad and I'm going to prove that to him today, but still make him regret it.

Arriving at the front door, my hand raises to ring the bell. The familiar tone sounds from the other side of the door and it doesn't take long for one of the maids to open the large door, surprise, and amazement written all over her face as she recognizes me.

"Mr.Jeon?" she asks.

I know what my surname is.

"Yes, it's me," I say, walking past Dea after she makes room for me to enter. "Is he home?" I ask without really paying attention to the petite woman as I let my eyes skip over the interior.

"He's upstairs in his office, sir," she replies, closing the door and knowing exactly who I meant. I nod in understanding just smiling at her, realizing I was probably a bit rude. I can't help but let the locked up emotions out, though.

After she disappears behind the door leading to the kitchen my eyes examine the now changed furniture. There are still a few that I recognize, but most of the wooden furniture has now been replaced by modern and sleek items that make the entryway look larger due to their light color. The two staircases leading up along each wall to the second floor have been polished and repainted, but the picture frames still adorn the walls, making it seem like a real family lives here.

It never felt like home, but now it's just plain empty.

I walk up the stairs slowly, wanting to finally have it over with, my eyes peering down the staircase into the large living room. I shake my head as memories of my youth come flooding in, how I used to play video games on the TV, and I almost jump when a figure appears at the end of the stairs, looking down at me with expectant eyes.

His blue eyes have something apologetic about them, silently trying to tell me something. The closer I get, the tenser he becomes and I see him shift his weight from one foot to the other. Climbing the last steps, I now stand in front of him, his height making him slightly taller than me. I look him straight in the eye, annoyed to find him here because he's not the person I came here for.

"Alex," I say, neither hatred nor sympathy present in my voice. My eyes travel down his body and it only strikes me now that he is formally dressed, the suit hugging his slender form, just like the night Elaine and I were pulled over by him.

"Jungkook." he breathes, and I see him swallow, trying in vain to get rid of the lump in his throat. "Can we please talk?"

"There's nothing to talk about, you've already shown your true face." I confront harshly, a regretful look settling into his eyes. "But tell me one thing. How does it feel to take advantage of an innocent woman? Have your balls grown in size because of it now?"

His eyes widen at the mention. "Please don't tell Nora about this. She has nothing to do with this, my feelings for her are real."

"Don't give me that shit. Besides, it's too late because Elaine already warned her about you." I smirk and he gasps. I shrug my shoulder, not feeling a bit sorry for him. I can't help but allow my anger to the surface and glare at him. "Be a fucking man and deal with the consequences of your actions."

I walk past him, my next destination my father's office and I feel more prepared since I met Alex who made me angry. I think of one more thing to say to him though, so I walk back to stand in front of him, who now has his head hanging low.

"One more thing. You're going to stay away from Nora. If I catch you near her again," I take another step toward him so there are only a few inches between us and I glare directly into his eyes. "I will make you regret it."

Making sure to bump my shoulder into his as I walk by, I nudge him slightly back and he stumbles back a little. I smirk now completely emboldened to meet my father and hopefully finish him off the same way. No matter how much I would have liked to mess up Alex's face, for taking advantage of Nora to get to me, I know I'm a better person so I didn't stoop to his level.

I walk past a few closed doors, knowing exactly which room lies behind them until I arrive in front of the right door. I take a few deep breaths to clear my emotions as anger and domination slowly creep over my entire skin. My hand lifts and I knock hard against the wooden surface twice before a soft 'come in' sounds from the other side.

I try to steady my fingers that are shakily gripping the doorknob and slowly open the door, finally bringing closure to everything after years. I force my feet to take one step after another, my gaze focused forward until I stand in the middle of the mid-sized room.

His eyes meet mine, an amused smile on his lips above which the stubble of his freshly shaved beard is visible. It's like looking at an older version of myself in the mirror, and I hate deeply that I got his genes. He gets up from his black leather swivel chair, gradually making his way around the wooden desk on which sheets of paper and folders lie jumbled. And then, when he stands in front of me, I return his gaze with equal confidence as I look down at his slightly smaller form, my posture firm and steady.

"Welcome, son."

"Father."